This is for the guys. Because so many of you are turning to my blog for insights into the female mind I’m going to give you the secrets. Ladies please add to my list by leaving a comment. The more the merrier.
This list is based on years and years of listening. I’ve been listening to both women and men. The topic of dating – what draws us to each other and what turns us off – has always fascinated me. (I know, I’m weird but my loss is your gain). So here goes…this one is for all women – child or not … see below for the single mom addendums.
What women really want.
- Empathy. Listen to her, understand her, feel her happiness and feel her pain. If this doesn’t come naturally to you – you’re not alone. Men are less emotional than women by nature. But try. Ask her follow up questions. If you don’t know what to say – hold her.
- Make her life better. Not by buying her things (although that doesn’t hurt) but by making her laugh, making her dinner, cleaning her kitchen, rubbing her back, kissing her every night. Add something to her life. Don’t just leave a dent in her couch.
- Companionship. Be her best friend. Be there for her come thick or thin.
- Trust her. Jealousy is one of the most unattractive traits a man can possess.
- Satisfy her in bed…consistently. Enjoy her, let her know you enjoy her. Making her happy should make you happy. I can’t tell you how many guys out there “finish” and then roll over and pass out. Bad news.
- Kisses. Lots and lots of kisses and hugs.
- Forgive her when she flies off the handle. Don’t take it personally. Women, once again, are emotional creatures. We have a tendency to get more upset then a man would about the same issue. Relax. Breath. Don’t make it worse. Accept the fact that we are scared sometimes, that we need to vent and sometimes it’s on you.
- Keep her on her toes. Entertain her. Turn off the TV – play a board game, take her out for a fancy date at least once a month.
- Be nice to her friends. Do your best to respect and enjoy her friends. Take a woman away from her friends and you’re doomed.
- Make a big deal out of all holidays, birthdays and anniversaries…not necessarily with presents but these are the days of the year that you must, must say something sweet.
- Flowers. Enough said.
- Love her. Really love her, don’t just say you do.
And what single moms want (in addition to above):
- Flexibility. Her plans may change at the last minute. She can’t go out at the spur of the moment.
- Dependability. Be there when you say you will and for god’s sake – don’t cancel.
- Make yourself an asset. What do you add to her and her child’s life?
- Come to terms with the fact that she technically doesn’t need you. Once again, make yourself an asset.
- She’s scared of getting hurt. Try to understand.
- Whatever you do – don’t stress her out. She’s got enough on her plate. Answer when she calls, call her back promptly.
- Offer to babysit! You’ll score some major points. This one only works after you’re already in with her and the kids.
- Read more single mom dating tips, here.
And for the women – I’ll have a reverse list up soon…because we need to remember what the guys need and want too!