Single Mom S.O.S. – Explaining a Break Up

by mssinglemama on January 23, 2008

brokenheart.jpgMy best friend and fellow single mom, Abby, is still reeling from her break up. And so is her 5 year old daughter, Penny. She’s a beautiful, happy little girl who also fell in love with mommy’s boyfriend. How couldn’t she? He was over at their house at least three to four nights a week. They’d been together for nearly one year and had been talking about moving in together, starting a family – the whole kit and caboodle. And now – poof – he’s gone and Penny is broken hearted. If you’ve never seen a 5 year old with a little broken heart – lucky you – because I saw my first one tonight and it was unbearable.

Abby and I were sipping wine in the kitchen when Penny walked up with tears in her eyes.

“What’s wrong sweetie, are you feeling sick?” Abby asked.

“No, I’m sad…about John. I love him, he’s my friend and I’ll never get to see him again.”

Abby and I looked at each other. The two single moms who always have the answers. And there was nothing. Neither of us knew what to say. What could we say? How can you explain a break up to a 5 year old?

My son is just a few months shy of two. This is something I’ve never faced. I would imagine that for a five year old something like this is extremely heavy and intense. Something that could have a lasting impact. And what Abby is going through right now is without a doubt, my worst fear and is why us single moms can get a little “crazy” when it comes to relationships and dating. This is it. This is what we all want to avoid.

But we also want to meet someone, be with someone and find out if they are a fit for our family. I call it the single mom dating conundrum. How do we do it without hurting our kids? The answers aren’t clear and they never will be, but there must be some child psychology experts out there who would know what we should say. How we should say it.

Abby would have read up had she known John was going to walk in – break up with her and then leave without so much as a good bye to Penny.

So what should she do? Any advice? Please, please pass on some insights if you have them. I tried to do a Google search for “single mom break up how do you tell the kids” and there was nothing useful.

(Photo source –

{ 94 comments… read them below or add one }

SingleMomSeeking January 23, 2008 at 6:32 am

Wait, he just got up one day and said, “It’s over”?? Were there any signs? He just walked out? “Poof” and he’s gone?… Do tell what happened. There must be more to the story?

How would you explain that to a 5-year-old? He’s not in town?…

As for me, it was clear as day to my daughter that my boyfriend wasn’t “in it” anymore. My daughter saw how shut down he was, depressed, watching TV all the time. She certainly felt how tense I was. So, when I explained the break up to her — that being boyfriend/girlfriend didn’t work for us — she was upset, but she got it.

I told her that she could still see him — and his dog — whenever she wanted to…They still met in the park a few times… After a few months, she moved on.


Rachel Dunleavy June 7, 2012 at 9:26 pm

She did get over it? How long were you two together? My (loving) boyfriend of two years walked out on my daughters and I after calling us family. Will they ever get over it? They love him. He will still see them. Should I let him, or is that too confusing?


Chloe September 21, 2012 at 10:16 am

How are you doing now Rachel? My boyfriend did the same thing about a week and a half ago. I have a seven year old daughter. He just freaked out one day. And everyone is shocked, including his family. He won’t speak to me at all he’s shut down. I’m devastated.


mssinglemama January 23, 2008 at 12:07 pm

There were definitely signs. It was the way the break up came down. He basically walked in – said it was over and didn’t say good bye to Penny. He’s in town. So she needs to really explain that they just don’t get along anymore? Any words she should use? I guess it’s just that her daughter is so upset by the entire situation. I think both adults need to sit down with her and explain what it means.


randomesq January 23, 2008 at 3:04 pm

See, it’s good to read things like this because it seems obvious now what would have been a better course of action for this guy but I’m not sure I’d have known that before. It would have been much more thoughtful and considerate if he had discussed it with your friend and asked if she would like them both to discuss with her daughter or how she (your friend) would like to handle it and be supportive of that in the interest of her child.

You’re introducing me to a new world. 😉


Healing Mom January 23, 2008 at 4:22 pm

You know, as a mother, it’s a painful reality when we realize that there is no absolute, fool-proof way we can shield our children from pain, as much as we desperately want to. We can, however, teach them the tools they need to cope with their emotions when they are confronted with disappointments and heartbreak. And, we can let them know that Mommy will always, ALWAYS be there for them no matter what.
I suspect there must have been some warning signs that maybe your friend did not or could not see for whatever reason. This experience, though painful and probably unnecessary, will be one of personal growth. The same signs in the next relationship will not likely be missed again.
God bless your friend and her little girl. They deserve better, and now they can go find it.


Jenny January 23, 2008 at 4:23 pm

Yeah, this is an incredibly sticky area. For me, this post underscores pretty well your previous statement about the indicators of character inherent in how one breaks up with someone.

That this guy just disappeared without understanding he’s affecting 2 lives outside his own, not just one, speaks volumes as to his character. Sorry to be so harsh, but imho, there’s no forgiveness for this sort of thing.

Anyway, regarding advice on how to help the 5 year old cope — is there any way your friend can get in contact with the guy and maybe arrange a goodbye meeting? Or maybe even a phone call where the guy can 1) assure the child that the breakup is not her fault and 2) explain to her why it’s the best thing for her that Mom and him are not together any more.

If he still loves your friend, as he professes, then he should have enough respect for her and her child, and what they all had together, to agree to something like this.

If he doesn’t agree and won’t talk to your friend at all, then it’s time for her to be honest with the child. Or, as honest as age and understanding will allow. Answers to seemingly impossible questions are made a little easier because your friend can help her child understand she’s not alone in her loss. In this arena especially, the simplest answers are the best.

“Will we ever see him again?”
“No, I don’t think we will.”

“Why did he leave us?”
“He wasn’t very happy/comfortable being in our family.”

“Does he not like us/me anymore?”
“Actually, I know he still likes us/you. And I know he still thinks a lot about us/you. But families are special — like ours is — and people need one that’s just right for them. I think he needs to find his just-right family.”

“I miss him so much.
“I miss him, too, sweetie.”

Anyway, you get the idea. The objective is not to have all the “right answers”; it’s to just be present. Your friend can’t be the closure for her child in this matter, and she shouldn’t try to be. I think at times like this it’s more important for kids to know they’re not alone and eventually things will be good again. Different, perhaps, but always good.


mssinglemama January 23, 2008 at 4:23 pm

Random Esquire – It is a whole new world…I’m actually working on having my boyfriend write a bit on what it’s like to date a single mom. It’s really like nothing else you’ve ever experienced because we are SO real. There is no room for any bull. As he described it, “you are stripped down to your bare bones, about as real as a person can get.” It can be intimidating for a lot of men but they also find it incredibly refreshing. Men don’t like games, so they usually like single moms.

Healing Mom – there is no way to protect them from pain…we just have to do our best. We are human after all. Tks for your kind thoughts.


mssinglemama January 24, 2008 at 12:57 am

Well, she asked the ex to say a formal good bye to Penny and he gave her the name of a child therapist he knows. Isn’t that sweet? She’s in good spirits today and so is Penny…she’s focusing her energy on making Penny feel better. Thanks for that great advice Jenny! Honesty is definitely always best with kids – I guess censored for their age – but honest. Thanks again!


Bryan March 1, 2008 at 7:52 pm

To all who posted; good stuff. As a 39 yr old man, never married and no kids, I’m finally at a point where I want to settle down (no analysis please, I understand I have issues). At my age the dating pool – if it really exists- demographic is represented by women such as you. No I’m not soliciting any interest. Please no! It’s just that it’s helpful to me to gain insight into the concerns of the type of women that I may be encountering. To that end, I have marked this site as a favorite and will visit often. I really liked Jenny’s thoughts. It’s good to see that Mr. X manned up and did the appropriate thing. This is a real concern of mine – dating women with children. I understand that it’s a huge impact on kids to have a stranger walk into their lives, a male figure no less, and have all kinds of expectations and questions. It’s something that should not be entered into lightly. Which complicates the issue of taking initiative when I see an attractive single mom I would like to meet? I hear that women are fed up with men today. Men won’t step up and take charge. Please don’t underestimate how confusing the women’s movement and feminism still is for men. Please, please don’t misinterpret my meaning. Of course those are awesome and necessary and everything positive you can say about those issues. The point is relationships are complicated enough. Throw in a divorce with the potential of an ex hanging around, the impact of your presence on a child’s life, all the while just trying to attempt to see if someone is going to be compatible for you, it’s enough to throw in the towel. So it’s not that men don’t want to step up, there’s just so many variables to consider. Women want the results that the women’s movement and feminism achieved – i.e. respect and equality. But it also seems that men need to be the provider as well. So it’s a bit confusing. Do women want the opportunity to be the provider, or do they want to be taken care of, or both? If it’s they want to be the provider or both, then why the complaints that men don’t take initiative and don’t take charge. You need to step up. You need to take charge. Right? Well, we’re confused. Someone please draw us a map. Trying to figure this thing out is extremely time consuming if you are a man at all interested in finding answers. And honestly I don’t have a ton of time. If you’re a professional with a demanding work load, continuing professional education, volunteer efforts and retirement to consider (i.e. managing the household finances – again, time consuming), the obstacles just keep coming and coming. Please understand that I’m just venting. I understand that for all intent and purposes it doesn’t seem such an unreasonable request to want to be treated like a woman, appreciated for all the God given beautiful feminine qualities you have. Boy did He do a good job! And it doesn’t seem like an unreasonable request to be treated as an equal intellectually, having your thoughts considered equally with all the various decisions needing to be made daily – in a partner relationship. The confusion comes in knowing what button to push and when. Come on; you know this – right? Anyway, if you’re going to comment on the above, please just know that I’m also seeking answers; so the intent is an attempt to try to understand.

Sincerely, Bryan


mssinglemama March 2, 2008 at 1:34 am

Bryan – you’re asking some very poignant questions. I think it varies. Depends on the woman. But yes, in your age range you will likely be dating a lot of single moms or divorced women.

I think you should trust the single moms you are dating to know when it would be the right time for you to meet the kids. If she’s throwing the kids into the mix early on – that’s a bit of a red flag, in my book. Telling you she might not be putting her kids first. Which is something we are all guilty of from time to time.

As for gender roles…single moms are naturally more independent because we have to be. We are the sole providers and heads of household and some of us have been for a while. So when a man enters the picture it’s tough to let that control go – but, deep inside we are all feminine women.

I suggest you check out this post on Tips on How to Date a Single Mom for the Guys …


Blondie March 13, 2008 at 7:20 pm

Thank GOD for this page. I’ve been scouring the Internet looking for just this. My boyfriend walked out Monday night, and not only am I devastated, my daughter (who is five as well) is reeling. I do not know the answers to give her, but reading this sure did help a bit. She wants to know why he doesn’t want to be mom’s boyfriend anymore. And with me not understanding myself, I’m not sure what to tell her. She LOVES him so much. He walked out, didn’t say goodbye and hasn’t asked about her at all. He was my first relationship of meaning since my divorce. And I think what really ticks me off, is that I avoided the boyfriend and my daughter meeting, and he PUSHED it. He pushed it and now he just walked out. It makes my heart ache for her.


Magen April 20, 2008 at 7:50 pm

I have a 5 year old and a 9 month old baby. The baby’s father and I broke up last week but have been communicating because of our one common interest. But my heart is breaking because I tried talking with my daughter about “us” not going over to his house but that the baby will be. I explained the whole we aren’t happy together anymore and her response was “he still loves me” and I said “Yes, he does still love you and he’ll miss you.” But she wants to go over to his house still and play with his other 2 children, from a previous relationship. HELP!!!


Anonymous December 11, 2008 at 9:43 pm

Wow I have to say that reading this has really helped with my daughter! My ex and I broke up 6 months ago, out the blue, he decided to start ignoring me rather than just telling me. My daughter still after all this time asks about him and I try to distract her with something else when she asks. The sad part too is he had a daughter as well who is the same age as my daughter is (4). The two of them were so close always wanting to be together and he was the one who pushed for them to meet and for us to do outings such as going away on trips together, the four of us all the time. It hurts that I still don’t have the closure I need but I’m glad that at least now I have some ideas on how to explain to my daughter and hopefully the answers I give her will be enough for her to move on as well.


Anonymous December 29, 2008 at 1:05 am

And I have to agree with anonymous. I am in the rawest of the emotions right now, as my boyfriend has just decided tonight that this is not the “right fit” for him. He feels he is not an adequate father figure and can’t handle coming in second place to my son. The pain, no actually shock, I’m feeling right now is only surpassed by the pain I’m feeling for my son. He’s been a such a key player in our lives for the past year that I cannot imagine the heartbreak my son is going to experience once he knows what is taking place. I’ve asked him to stay until the weekend, so as to give myself some time to prepare both of us for his leaving. My son is already in counseling, and I am so terrified about the impact this will have on him. I know “this too shall pass” but the turmoil, grief and pain we’ll feel in the process is what is so devastating. Thank you, sincerely, for everyone’s words of wisdom. I’m so thankful to have stumbled upon this site tonight. Definitely will be back.


janie July 1, 2009 at 10:29 pm

I told my son that sometimes friendships end. I let him know that in his life this may happen too. That it is ok to miss someone and that it was not his fault. I told him there are times when you see friends alot and sometimes they get busy. I will not introduce any man as more then a friend until I know it is safe. I told my son we had a special friendship and did not behave romantic around him. It is so hard. As they get older it is healthy for children to learn that some people break promises and hurt us. That is a sign of an unhealthy relationship and it is ok to not be someones friend/girlfriend. We trust people and sometimes they prove unworthy.


Nicole October 13, 2009 at 3:20 pm

I am expierenceing this with an eight year old. He was in her life for almost a good 6 years and now it is over.She blames me for it and I do not know what to do about it. But i can tell you that it is hard to let go. I shared my life with this man for 6 years and my childs. Now he is gone and I am not really sure what to do about if anyone has any solutions on how to move on with life. I neeed some help.


Kourtney October 25, 2009 at 1:16 am

OMG to my relief, I am not alone! My 5 yr old daughter and I are reeling from the shock of my live-in boyfriend of 2 years walking out on us. I am a 31 yr old single mama who waited for 3 years before allowing a man into my life after divorcing her father, an abusive multi-millionare who pays nothing in child-support (long story, everything is not in his name, so he walks scotch free). My new boyfriend was my prince charming, a southern gentleman all the way – opens doors, buys flowers for no reason, treats all women with utmost respect, a family man – very close to his family, incredible (starving) artist (whom is semi well-known in galleries, etc.)and drop dead gorgeous to boot! He was a wonderful role model for my daughter, stood by my side when most men never would have; I am a 31 yr old model/business professional whom needed to get an emergency Spinal Fusion! He kissed away my tears & held my hand the whole way, his family flew in to take care of me & my daughter for 6 weeks, and loved me through it all…up until my disability checks got stalled and I couldn’t cover my 1/2 of the bills for going on 2 months. Suddenly things got radically cold and miserable at home. Me, recovering from a major operation, on pain pills and trying to be the best mama possible, while my little one just entered Kindergarten, got settled in and has new best friends. On Tues he was professing his undying love for me, urging me to work things out, everything will be ok, although still extremely stressed over money & constantly asking if my check came in? It actually did finally come in that day, but I hide it in my closet a few moments earlier before he started hounding me & I knew he knew I had gotten it although I didn’t admit to getting it. (as a single mama with past experiences of men screwing me over, held onto my check for dear life because I had some intuition to not tell him the truth for the first time ever in 2 yrs, worried that we would be left with nothing for survival, if he chose to just walk out on us…) By Fri, unbeknownst to me we had an eviction notice on our door to move out in 3 days! He was demanding that I give my entire disability check to the front office, (which still would not cover rent owed to keep us there, therefore not even stalling the eviction…he said or else we were not invited to move back into his condo that he has a mortgage on!) He was moving things out all evening with a buddy, while my little girl was sleeping in the other room & I was laying sobbing on a sofa, with massive back pain & terrified & feeling betrayed, as we had no place to go but with him. Thanks to some close “adopted parents/friends” they swooped in and packed us up the next day, moved us into their home temporarily. We are now 40 miles away from my daughter’s Kindergarten & my ex didn’t have the nerve to say goodbye to my little girl, whom he referred to as “his own”. I asked him to have some sort of closure (by text of course since he refuses to pick up my calls, only texts me! oh and he’s 39yrs old!) with her & explain that it didn’t work out & to hear from his mouth that it’s not her fault. He has replied reapeatedly, that he is too emotional and is having a hard time with the worst time of his entire life – losing us – saying he is not ready to see/speak to her or me! He went through begging for me to call him for 2 days after abandoning us, to then texting that he wanted me to call b/c he wanted to explain the main reason he is so P.O’ed is b/c he has an engagement ring for me on layaway that he has been paying for 4 months!???! Yes, I know! Yet we got evicted b/c he couldn’t pay our rent??? I hate to admit this, but I have been going through severe depression & non-stop crying (I am 5 months post-op from a major back operation & still on heavy pain meds, too) that my little precious daughter is witnessing. Luckily I can blame my back for my crying at times; however she is doing the same as the other little 5 yr old, saying she misses & loves him & forgives him, that she just wants to hug & kiss him & have us move back in with him (heartbreaking & I am feeling tremendously gulity). The other part I hate to admit is that I am now absolutely begging for his forgiveness for lying to him about my check. He says that I am to blame for our failed relationship & that I am a lyer. I have been driving back-n-forth over 80 miles/day to keep her in her Kindergarten so that she has some stability, but we can’t afford to pay the amount of rent needed to stay living here & for gas & I am temp. disabled. So I have been begging for his forgiveness & pleading to take us in until I am back on my feet. His text reply, is “nope it’s not my problem, it’s your problem. You broke us up by lying to me, breaking the foundation of our relationship, that he no longer can believe anything I say, nor trust me anymore & I feel that this is for the best. You are a strong and beautiful woman, you’ll survive. I still love you both with all of my heart but I can’t handle it anymore. Maybe in the furture our paths will cross and we can be together when you get your life back on track.” He’d rather blame me then be humane and allow us to live with him until I am healthy enough to work FT again. I have no family, no money, bankrupct from my prior divorce, and temp. disabled. Boy, oh boy is this a test of my strength. We are only left with the option to drive 3,000 miles across country to stay with a girlfriend, so I am trying to figure out what to do plus how to handle this cold, cruel break-up from the man I wanted to be my daughter’s forever role-model, and my husband – I was his biggest fan & still love him with all of my heart. I attribute his cruelty to being overwhelmed with my disability & inability to contribute financially & he is working 3 jobs still not able to make it. He did what no other unmarried man would & he did it without hesitation & with complete commitment & love & support, so am in the wrong for lying & breaking trust? He has treated me, prior to walking out 7 days ago, like a princess – making me feel beautiful, buying my little girl a dozen red roses for “no reason, just because he loves her”, kissing away my tears, working hard to keep us afloat while I recovered, involved his entire family to assist me in recovering & having them watch her until I was well enough. I can only imagine his stress; after all he is a 39 yr old, never been engaged or married, used to dating care-free little college girls, and then walked into our lives & has the most stress he has ever experienced! I truly believe that what he & I had was the real thing, we had complete mutual respect & admiration for eachother, passionate love, and a great relationship until the financial pressures started overwhelming him & he didn’t let me in on how bad it really was, until the notice & walking out. I am a very honest person, never lied to him before & I know that I took him & his family for granted. I was so caught up in my operation, long recovery, pain & meds, that I just took all of his kindness for granted & I think, sucked him dry. Any takers for advice? Sorry for the length, but it is such an unusual story with dramatic turns and severe circumstances.


marie March 12, 2014 at 10:41 am

I know this was written in the the outcome go?? how are u doing and whatever happened with this situation if you don’t mind me asking


nona November 28, 2009 at 7:39 pm

At least I don’t feel alone here, after my BF of 18 months, who stayed here every night, decided suddenly, yes, without forewarning, to end our relationship. He still wants to be friends (how? it is nearly impossible for me to leave the house alone, not to mention if I am to find a “man” I don’t need an ex hovering around). I cried every day for a month — never in front of my 5-year-old daughter — who asks about him or mentions him every day. When she asked why we don’t see him anymore, I told the truth: I don’t know. I don’t know if she will see him again. Sometimes it’s hard to breathe…


Cj December 26, 2009 at 5:43 am

hmmm what happens if its the other way around… singel guy here fallen in love with single mom and her 11yr old… but have come to find out she is a compulsive liar… i have given her multiple chances… but am at a point now where i realize its not going to work… even though i want it too… any suggestions on a way to handle would be appreciated..


Samantha January 9, 2010 at 4:08 pm

Wow, it’s so complicated isn’t it? We all just want someone to love and be loved, and when there are children involved the stakes are so much higher. Throw in financial difficulty and it’s an explosive mix. The instinct to create a family for our children is so strong we are really highly motivated to find a partner, but then it’s a lot for them to take on – they try to fit the bill for a while but get exhausted! Kourtney – I hope your situation has improved and resolved. CJ – are you sure she’s a compulsive liar or is she just trying to protect something? I guess if you think the relationship’s not going to work you can stay friends – we need big networks to support us. I was also in a relationship for a year with a wonderful man who was a great role model. We aregued a little bit about parenting technique but now he has been diagnosed with an illness so his priorities have completely changed of course. He wants to focus on himself and doesn’t feel he can do that with us. What can we do? It’s just life and we just have to try to give our children the resources to be able to flow with it. How I have no idea – I guess we discover that as we go along.


Msmama February 19, 2010 at 3:55 pm

I feel like this is an epidemic of some kind!!! My bf just decided one day he was unhappy and basically done with our relationship. I have a 3 year old daughter and she misses him too! One of my other single mom friends told me that every one of her friends that is also a single mom has dealt with a guy being perfectly fine, content, etc until right about the 1 year/18 month mark and them for some reason they can’t handle it anymore and they leave!!! I would like to know from a man’s (or should we call them boys) perspective what it is that changes so suddenly at about a year that they feel like they need to just walk away!?!!?! I’m baffled by the amount of men that do this!!! I don’t understand how they can “fake it” for a year or so and then just be done and walk away!?!?!?


Sonya March 27, 2010 at 1:17 pm

Wow, I’m really nervous now. I am actually am losing hope. I”m a 35 year old single mother. I always wanted a family and more children. The clock is ticking on that though and I can’t afford to have someone waste two years of my life and then walk away. I’m trying to be brave. My ex has already moved on and is engaged to his new partner. He’s three years younger than me and I’ll guess she’s even younger. God I’m scared. I feel like there is nobody out there for me and I’m just going to be an old maid with no more babies.

Sorry, I guess this isn’t very helpful but maybe there is someone out there who can relate? Maybe someone who was once sitting where I am now, at this age, and still managed to find a family?


Natalie May 8, 2010 at 3:51 pm

I am a 40 year old sinlge mom and I am struggling terribly with single mom issues. I have fel embarassed and guilty and so have not sought support or help , so i am so grateful for the presence of this site. I have a 7 year old son. His father and I I divorced when he was just 1, so my son has never known us together. He and his dad have a great relationship and his dad and I have figured out how to coparent relatively well. 2 years ago I got involved with a man and now live with him. The relationship has had chronic problems for over a year. I clearly need to end this and move on….however we live in a beautiful home that my son loves and that we rented together only two months ago. He has a bonded relationship with my boyfriend and his dog. I feel horribly guilty to say the least and worried about the implications for my son ( we end up having to move out, he loses the relationship wiht my boyfriend etc.) I also feel guilty for staying in this relationship longer then I should have believing that somehow I could avoid it having to be ended?. I feel like a terrible mom. My question is how do I protect my son through all this? My son and I have talked about the possibility of being on our own again before and I have told him that if it happens i understand that he will be sad and that we will work through it togehter but I still feel like there is some irreperable damage I have done. I would so appreciate anyone’s thoughts here. thank you


Michelle June 20, 2010 at 7:34 pm

By the Grace And Mercy of God we will make it through because He is a healer of all pain. Just ask Him to carry all your burdens and believe u me He will.


marie March 12, 2014 at 11:15 am



Tiffany July 28, 2010 at 10:32 pm

I’ve been looking for a post like this all night. My boyfriend just broke up with me very suddenly and unexpectedly two days ago. And my 4 year old son is very sad. We were curled up on saturday saying he loved me forever and always and Monday night it was over via text message. I don’t know what to say to him at all.. Really struggling with my own heartbreak and with his.


resa August 8, 2010 at 6:11 pm

I didnt think i’d find a site like this.Glad i did.i too am a single mom.I really didnt mean to end a 5 year relationship with my ex but it happened.After a few days i explained to my 8 year old son that he would no longer be with us.My 8 year old was devestated.I told him that we couldnt get along anymore so our relationship ended.He told me that he was sad because his real dad choses not to be in his life and now his step-dad.This man & my son had a good relationship.we would go fishing & camping often.i told my son that nothing would change & that i’d make every attempt to keep our fishing & camping trips going.He said its not the same and never wants to ever have a stepdad agian & that he hates his real dad for never giving him a chance to meet him.I feel like its my fault my son feels like this.not sure of anything that would be comforting to tell him except i love him..Any ideas anybody???


Krystina September 1, 2010 at 12:52 pm

If anyone would like to offer some support, ugh. its so hard. I was with a guy for a few months and had a child with him..we went our separate ways and he didn’t help me at all financially. Well I meet a wonderful guy when my son is 2(almost 3) and he moves in and we live together for 3 years. The whole time, we argued and didn’t have the best relationship but we loved each other and chocked it up to us being so different. He lost jobs left and right and had no drive to do anything. We grew apart and he decided spur of the moment that he was moving back in with his mom in another state. He talked to my son briefly, although I didn’t know what exactly was said, and my son told me that he said sometimes mommies and daddies dont get along and want to live in different places but we still love you and mommy is gonna be here for you. i’ll think of you and you can think of me but we are going to take time apart so i wont be here. and left. that was 3 days ago, now im left to pick up the pieces from my son, me, and the bills that were all in my name. any suggestions/ideas/support? add me on fb if you wanna chat or anything. i feel so alone.


Anon December 1, 2010 at 4:12 am

Just thought I would shed some perspective on this situation from the opposite point of view. I was in a relationship for over six years. Shortly after it ended, I ran into an amazing single mother and her daughter at the beach. Found out she lived not too far from me, we hit it off immediately, went on a few dates, you know how the story goes.

The relationship with her and her daughter was amazing for a period of six months. She was happy I had met her daughter early, wasn’t put off by her, and was willing to commit to her. I on the other hand was more than happy to have met such a great woman and such an amazing child. After six months I invited them to move in with me.

I loved my new girlfriend and we were perfect for each other. We had the same sense of humor, the same occupation, mostly the same interests, and there was no working at the relationship, it came completely natural. I loved her daughter too. She was smart, beyond adorable, and I was completely attatched to her.

So what made me decide I needed to end this relationship? About nine months in, I came out of my stupor and realized what had slowly been occuring. My ex was no longer the wonderful mother she was when we first met. She begun to pawn off her daughter on her grandparents nearly every weekend, refused to disipline her daughter if it would inconvenience her, and almost always seemed to put “us” before “her.”

A major misfortune of being a single mother is that all men will eventually see just how good of a mother you really are. There is no facade, no willful blindness, or any degree of uncertainty. All men hope the woman they choose to spend the rest of their lives with will be a great wife and a perfect mother. When you are dating a single mom, you know before you make that committment exactly what you are getting in that department.

However, I didn’t write this to bash my ex. I would never say that she doesn’t love her daughter, that her little princess doesn’t mean the entire world to her, or that she is unfit in anyway. I wrote this as a word of caution to single mothers in committed relationships that may be contemplating marriage or a similar living arrangement. Whether moms like to admit it or not they are sometimes guilty of putting themselves before their children. However, nothing will scare off a good guy who does want to be with your family quicker than making that the norm instead of the exception.

In order to address the situation of how to ease out, I offered to visit weekly. I had helped keep up the lease on her old place, so the move back for them wasn’t too terrible in that regard. Her mother can’t stand to talk to me face to face as this is still relatively recent. However, I still meet with her daughter for an hour or two every other week at her grandparent’s house. She is only six but exceptionally bright and perceptive for her age. I do my best to let her know it wasn’t her fault that we aren’t together anymore. I try to blame myself because I know she blames her own behavior and her mother. Most importantly I let her know I still care about her and she will have a friend for life if she ever needs me. She is getting used to the fact that her mother and I aren’t together anymore, and soon enough she will probably not need me in her life on a regular basis, if at all.

I’m sorry for anyone else dealing with a recent breakup affecting a young child. But trust me that most men willing to seriously date single moms will also be willing to make the process as painless as can possibly be to any children that are affected.


Kasia February 17, 2015 at 8:07 am

Hello Anon,
I read your story- I appreciate that you have tried to share your perspective on how your relationship with a single mother ended and your justification for that. I get the sense that you still feel bad about the depth of your involvement because you only now realized how much it affects kids after a breakup.
Had you both truly cared about thatite girl then you would have BOTH set your own selves aside and deleloped your relationship without the child’s involvement to that level.
Also. I understand from what you have said is that your bottom line is a woman who doesn’t think about her family before herself- it happens to many single women where they seem to go into this survival mode thinking that they need to secure their Childs future with having a “normal” family and male role model and their search for that becomes more of a focus than their own child. Im not saying its ok-however my impression is that if you truly loved your ex and her child that much and were truly committed to them- you would work on helping your ex see her mistakes as a mother- perhaps take parenting courses- go to psychotherapy.. Etc.
I am speaking from experience- I met a man younger than me- we had actually known of each other ten years prior to our first meeting it was bizarre and beautiful that I thought fait had brought us together at a time when I really finally gave up on funding a good man. I had been going through a nasty divorce with a man who was physically abusive and now fighting a custody battle and then I met my ex!
He was sweet, loving and most of all knew how to be a father. We fell in love quickly but then I noticed red flags. He was using pot to calm his anxiety and had emotional imbalances- I however didn’t just walk away from him because he had issues to deal with- I asked for him to go to counsellin. He didn’t at first and then started on his own.
We dated for a year and half and he lived with me and my daughter on and off for that time. He acted around her like he is her father- he made verbal promises about our life as a family, he pronounced his love for me and my daughter regularity- I’m sorry but you DO NOT leave a person if you truly love them and by now we both knew what were our flaws and characters and still he said he knew he wants us and we are his family!

When you commit yourself to a relationship with a child you need to know that your entering into more than just a relationship! If you both committed and promised that girl a life together you both need to do anything possible to make your relationship work- help each other!
There is NO perfect relationship or person- just people who are willing to communicate and work together in life or people what won’t.
So I get it if your ex was not willing to work on herself then you decided to leave- but if you just left because you saw some concerning things- this is not truly loving someone and not a real committed relationship.
Many people now a days don’t take their bonds and relationships seriously because they know that they can be alone living in the world a lot easier than when our parents generation 50’s and 60’s.
I feel like now people put too much pressure on things to be perfect all the time- there’s no way we are all different and it takes times and communication to understand each other. I’m not at all suggesting we are all compatible- but when you lived and committed to someone especially with a child- you should have in your mind there is no option to walk away!
Thanks so much for sharing.


Rae March 14, 2011 at 11:08 am

God is good all the time. I’m so grateful I found this site!!! Seek and thou shall find. My boyfriend broke up with me rudely on Friday after telling me several times a day for months how much he loved me and my daughter. She’s 6 going on 7 and was thrilled to have this man in our lives. What pisses me off the most, is that I tried to keep him from her and he pushed meeting my daughter and other relatives to pressing on having family outings all the time. From one day to the next,what I thought was a beautiful relationship is over and I’m not what he wants. I’m an adult, I can handle it but I was heartbroken having to tell my daughter that he wasnt going to be part of our lives anymore. All 3 of us were together all the time & had began hunting for a new place to move in together late this spring – & now I had to tell my daughter it wasnt going to happen. I thank EVERY single person who has posted on this site for clearly offering light (insight) through what feels like a long dark tunnel for many of us. Thank you!


Sophie February 5, 2015 at 3:13 am

Ooohhhh . I’ve been eagerly witniag to see the pictures!Addison talked for days about the party, and all the fun activities. He had so much fun! Thank you for including him!You are so creative and artistic, and what a blessing that you are able to pass that on to your children!Beautiful!


Rae March 17, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Thank you so much for this site!!! It has been a blessing to read this thread. I wasso afraid for my 6 year old daughter when my boyfriend (who she was very attached to) broke up with me from one day to the next. All of a sudden, my heartbreak didn’t matter, I was just so terrified for my daughter & what she might experience. Thank God for this site, I was able to preoare myself for the inevitable. Yes she cried for 2 days but reading all the experiences here, supported me in getting her through this. Its been a week and we are healing our broken hearts one day at a time (and alot of fun activities like blockbuster night, movies, games, the park, etc..;) . Thak you all so much for this site!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


American Attorneys March 27, 2011 at 7:39 pm

yes I understand your question, and the problem, im a single mom, and I pass for this like two years ago.
and my solution was: telling to my ex boyfriend to come at least one day a week and pass a nice time with my kids, and then he goes home, and my babies are happy. or maybe looking for therapy


Jov March 31, 2011 at 6:19 pm

I kept on googling this question today and thank goodness I know I am not alone. Most of you ladies and men sound like great people and are just trying the best for thier child. As am I, I have a soon to be 8 year old daughter and her father has never been consistant on visting since she was 4 years old, he is remarried and has another child so is not allowed to see his daugther. (ya crazy wife). Well I do not really care because I try to get by with what I know and thats to be even a better mommy to her. Well almost 3 years ago I met this perfect guy (so I thought) he was a only child to his single mother and I saw this great because him and my daughter could relate. When they met they both loved each other much… we eventually moved in together and yes like all relationships had some arguments here and there, we got a dog this past Christmas in hopes it would last between us. Well unfortanately this past week we just hit rock bottom and Monday he told me he could not be in a relationship anymore, he was done and I had to move out because this was originally his place. All week I have been moving things out slowly in hopes we can make this work, my daughter has been staying with my mom and is already questioning me. She misses her dog and him, I do not even know how to explain this to her considering I think this might be temporary. I don’t want her to feel sad that another man she saw as a father like person is ready to leave too. This is the hardest part to being a single mother.


Single Mom Needing Answers! April 22, 2011 at 11:04 pm

I am a single mom and have been since his dad and I divorced when he was 7 months old. My son is 5 now. When my son was three I started dating a really nice guy, not my “type” at all because let’s face it….my “type” didn’t work out so good. Things progressed gradually but ultimately I felt very smothered and choked in the relationship and it long term was not going to work out for me. I thought about breaking up with the bf for about a year before I did. I broke it off with him just two days ago. The bf wound up moving in with my son and I about a year ago — not because we made a concsious decision to move in together — just because he was spending more and more time there and it evolved to him spending every night there. Because my son did not see the bf every night and every morning though, my son never put two and two together that the bf lived with us. My son and the bf were good friends, my son loved him. They would play video games together, he would make my son breakfast, take him to disney. He was a good role model. The bf was an all around really nice guy. I just really wasn’t in love with him and I just couldn’t live a lie anymore just because my son had a role model for now and because I had some help. So long story short, I broke it off and now I need to tell my son. I don’t know how to do it. I have resolved the guilt because although the bf is a good role model for a 5 year old, his personality type would not have been a good role model for my son as he grew up and the relationship between the two would have never evolved to much more than video games, legos and changing the oil in the car. I know I made the right decision in the long run for all of us but I just don’t know how to tell my son. If anyone can give me some advice on breaking the news to a 5 year old about a break up I would appreciate the help. It’s been two days and he hasn’t asked for him yet.


Jenni June 20, 2011 at 11:18 am

I hear you all on this one. My BF and I were at the 18 month point and dont get me wrong, we had some issues, but one day after a fight he tells me he wants to move out. It took 2 weeks while he looked for a place and 5 days after the break up he meets this girl and they start dating while he is still living there. Needless to say he moved out shortly thereafter, but my 4 year old and 8 year old are at a loss as to how he was there one week taking them to daycare and playing with them, and the next he is telling me don’t contact him and he doesn’t want to hear from any of us. It hurt hearing my son tell my daughter this weekend for fathers day that he doesn’t have a daddy anymore b/c *** moved out and doesn’t love him. Now of course I am trying to be careful who I hang out with bc I have a guy friend that is just a friend but my son asked immidiatly, “is he going to be your new BF and my daddy?” Guys just don’t understand what this does to kids..and he was the one that first told me he loved me, wanted to live with me, wanted to buy a house..ect.


Cecelia July 26, 2011 at 5:32 am

um all this sounds so familiar to me. 4 weeks ago i findout that my partner of over 5 years was cheating on me with his best friends ex who had just had a baby 5 weeks earlier and split with him a few days before they hooked up. We have a 3 n a half year old together and a 10 year old from a previous relationship. We are sorting custody of the 3 n half year old he doesn’t want anything to do with the 10 year old. I am finding it hard as i can’t understand how someone u thought who loved you can do something like this to his family. Let alone use your child to tell you what he is doing, then the fact he was dragn our daughter to the girlfriends first weekend he had her all day and the next time he stays with your child at the new girlfriends and after 5 weeks of them being together they are moving in together. The effects on our 3 n half year are not great, wants to sleep with the door wide open always the first night back home wakes up screaming, she seems very insecure and much more. To me it just shows me what type of person he was and is now. Why do people do this to kids, i can deal with my own pain but do not like to see my children in pain or miss treated. And when it comes to custody they have all the rights in the world and you just have to go along with it. You are told you are meant to do your best by your child but it should be both parents doing this, not just one who has to pick up all the pieces of your broken children just because your ex isn’t think about anyone but himself!


Peter August 5, 2011 at 1:49 am

Hi Cecelia, I think that is horrible for a person to do that to another person. Me being a guy I would say that he only cared about his needs and didn’t even take in consideration how uncomfortable he is making his daughter by bringing her there. Yes we all may want that attention from the opposite sex but he needs to grow up and realize what he is doing to his kids. Not only is it hard for the kids to see their parents not together but to drag your daughter to a new girls place is totally wrong, but the other girl should of told him to spend and share that quality time with his daughter, and to get involved with the 10 yr. old. For him to take only one child and basically not acknowledge the other child is totally horrible, and is sending very bad messages to the child. Unfortunately guys can be real immature, and as being a guy myself I am sorry that you are dealt with a real tool like him, I wish you the best of luck!


Peter August 5, 2011 at 12:48 am

Hi everyone, i’m in need of some advice, I am 28 years old, I just found out that my sons mom has been intensely flirting with two othe guys while i am working 50-60 hrs. a week, going to school full time and in the reserves. This is the second time she has showed me that she can’t be trusted, but now we have a son that is five years old, and I know that if I move out it will crush his heart, but i can’t keep letting things like this go on. I provide everything for the house and she is supposed to be taking care of our son. I am trying to do the right thing here but I have no clue of what to say or do for him to understand that I will always be there for him and that I love him vey much, but the pain that this girl keeps giving me is just taking a huge toll on me, if anyone has any advice I am all ears, thank you!


L September 1, 2011 at 10:06 pm

Thank you all for this thread, tonight I typed “broken hearted single mom” into Google and this site is what came up…
I have a six and a half year old daughter whose father has never been involved in her life or paid a dime in child support (long story). I’ve never really known how to choose the right guys, and am just now figuring out a list of criteria to go by in future decisions…
I was just left by a man I was with for six months – I kept it a secret as long as I could from my daughter – but she found out about two months ago and is, of course, attached now. She doesn’t know yet that we’ve broken up – it was just “official” two days ago and she was watching cartoons on the couch while we were upstairs having “the talk”.
This comes nine months after a two year relationship I thought would be “the one” – but ended because he wouldn’t move forward in any way and basically wanted to have all the benefits of a family and none of the responsibilities.
I’m trying now to figure out how to keep this from happening again, to save my daughter the experience of seeing men take what they want and leave.
The earlier statement about seeing a mom for who she really is and leaving because of it gives me pause… I never changed the way I discipline my daughter in a relationship – but in the last month or two of the recent relationship my daughter had lots of sleepovers and playdates with friends so I could make time for my boyfriend. She never complained – she asked me to set them up! The boyfriend did make a comment here or there, though, and maybe he thought it was too much time apart? I don’t know…
Ultimately I have to accept that my daughter and I may be a family of two for a very long time – but that’s better than watching her confusion and sadness… I’ve made every decision that has brought us to this place. It’s my fault for not being able to be attracted to the right guys and picking the emotionally unavailable ones that are really, in actuality, doing the best they can just as I am.


Chris September 15, 2011 at 7:19 pm

I’m finding myself at a loss here. I wanted to start a family with my gf, of one year, so badly at first. It just seems that the only real time we spend together now is on making plans for me to watch her 2 y.o. son, or us watching him together. We went out at first, we seemed to share the same interest, we haven’t even really fought. But now we barely speak on anything important, we don’t go out, and I wonder if I’m being unfair just for thinking on how much we still have in common.

All the work we put into trying to make things work at first have gone into making the child happy, which makes her happy, and I feel no better than a baby sitter. I know communication is key, but how does one seek to save a relationship when the mere mention of what I am feeling may end what I wish to save?
I don’t want to be a bad guy and I know she has so much on her shoulders, but I don’t think she can see the weight this places on me and how unused to it I am. This being my first real relationship in my 30 years of life, I am unaccustomed as to how I should talk about my feelings when they run this deep.
I did try explaining it once but she laughed it off, because I thought it out and made a bullet point list of what I wanted to address so I wouldn’t forget what I wanted to convey. I feel more closed off then ever and even as I write this I don’t know why I’m trying to save it. I have read a number of articles on dating a single mom but I haven’t found one yet that addresses what I’m facing.
I thought I was supposed to be the one that was closed off. Instead, she is the first person I opened up to and I feel like I’m talking to a wall. Hence me writing this to you.


Boyfriend Breakup March 25, 2012 at 8:05 pm

The speedy alternative for help with boyfriend breakup and get him back


Man of my Dreams to Man of my Nightmares May 3, 2012 at 11:01 am

My son’s father has been non-exsistent in my son’s short 2 1/2 years of life. Its been so hard & one thing that has had me upset is that I would never have someone to share his amazing moments & milestones with, who looks at him with a genuine look of proud amazement, the way I look at him & feel when he does something amazingm. Then I met a man who has never been married & has no children. He is handsome, smart, hardworking & at my age, he is a needle in a haystack. To make things even better, he was awesome with my son & my son adored him. He looked at him the same way I do! I was so happy. Of course, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is and it was. I found out he was having an emotional affair with an older woman & after I confronted him, he told me he wanted to be with me and it would end with her. Less than a week later, curiousity was eating me alive so I checked his cell phone. I feel bad for doing that but guess what? He was still corresponding with her, sending flirty texts like asking if she wanted to go parking. I am crushed & to make matters worse (if that is possible) he doesn’t think he did anything wrong, says the texts were a joke & innocent. Obviously he is not trustworthy & although I really thought he was perfect in everyway, unfortunately he is a liar. The worst part about all of this is that my son adored him. He will talk about him & ask about him. I know that in time, he will forget but it doesn’t make me feel any better since my son thought the world of him. Why would a man do this to anyone but especially a single mom. There is nothing I can say to a 2 year old that he would understand. All he knows is that the great guy he used to see everyday & play with is gone. What a hard lesson I have learned. As a single mom, I have decided not to date anymore….a trustworthy, honest man is almost impossible to find and I definitely want to raise one!


surviving breakup May 10, 2012 at 10:38 am

I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your site is really nice, keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your website to come back in the future. Many thanks


mark June 14, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Well, I’m feeling a bit like the women here although I’m a 40 year old man who had a 3 year relationship with a single mom of a 8 year old girl and 6 year old boy – my situation is ironically like yours but in reverse order. I’m devastated because all I really wanted was to settle down with this beautiful family. Yes, we had problems in the relationship but it was the single mom of 29 years old who wanted the breakup because she wanted to catch up on lost time as a mother in meeting others, going out, regaining a social life. She felt I worked, came home but didn’t want to go out – it was simply because my needs shifted towards a simpler lifestyle. And yes, I could see we couldn’t agree on many things anymore and that we had growing disagreements. But, I just don’t know, I know it’s over, I know it’s probably for the bvest but I just can’t help from feeling that she gave up too soon, that there was a lack of trying to work it out. Ironically, since she took the decision, we haven’t argued once, she acts as if we are best friends, she’s respectful and courteous, patiently waiting for me to move to a new place and we waiting until a few days before my move to both sit down and speak with the kids. I’ll definitely make it clear to the kids that if they wish to visit me, it has to come from them, not the mother! No influence for the mother so that I can assure myself she won’t be using me for convenience. (No, there’s no other father for the kids, I’m a father figure but not biological father). Somehow, I just feel this is surreal, a kind of madness/crazyness in the whole odd scenario. And I’m not naïve, we did have problems in the relationship but. A part of me feels she’s only seeking a thrill in her life. It’s just all screwed up. So, at no real desire from myself, I’m moving out, starting a new life and scared out of my mind of starting all over again as I have no family left other than perhas these two kids. So, all this to say, it totally shocks me at how easily your men just picked up and left….


Lajos February 4, 2015 at 4:30 am

I just sat with tears streaming down lnsnetiig to the song. It is where I am today with our teenage daughter. Thanks for sharing! It’s good to know that someone else is walking the same journey Have a wonderful week.


mark June 14, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Clarification: what I mewant by silver lining is that I am probably fortuate that she’s the one wanting the breakup since I won’t be exposed to her gambling, that I won’t have to deal with her steep mood swings from high to low and be totally confused, and that I can just focus on being careful with my money and grow my career. But, I have to say, I’m going to miss a lot of the good whe did bring me such as supporting me with great ideas in my business, for always preparing dinner for the kids and inviting me to join in the dinners, and for being so sweet and gentle in other aspects of life. So much good and so much bad that it’s impossible to judge either way. It’s. just so painful though.


marissa June 15, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Hi all, I was so glad to come upon this site, after a horrible divorce with my abusive ex husband I thought I had found the one. The heart stopping, life changing kind of love I had always yearned for. He was 36 no kids and always wanted a family. And me with two kids 6 and 3 that he adored. After bout a year and a half of dating, moving in together, and him playing a truly integral role in our family since my kids have with biological dad, he says he cannot do this anymore. After marriage talks and conversations of a baby of our own, I’m completly reeling and have no idea how to tell my children that yet another father is going to leave. All of this right before our first fathers day together and my son tells me he wants to make something for his “new daddy” , right now he’s away taking some space, but I feel I need to prepare myself to tell the kids why well be moving and why he won’t be in our lives anymore. Help please 🙁


Lisa July 11, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Thank God for this site. Because I was at odds about what to say to my 7 year old about my decision to break up with my bf. Yes It was me. I see that most post was about a BF breaking up with the GF, but in my case, this is all my decision. Let me start off by I am a 26 yrs old single mother who left my sons father because he was a drug addict when my son was 8 mths old. Since then I have lived alone for 6 years. In those 6 years I have 3 major relationships, the first one was two years and I broke up with him because he wanted me to be with him, but wanted my son to be raised by his dad. Meaning he wanted to live with me without my son. My son at that time was too little and I hardly had them around each other, so no difference, out the door he went. The second one, also lasted two years and I had to break up with him because he was lazy, a cheat, and my son who was 5 at the time did not like him, So that one was easy to make. In this current case my bf was great, he provided, he loved my son and he was loyal. Other factors contributed to my decision, he is Muslim, from Pakistan. He and his family came to America when he was 10 yrs old. His family did not approve of our relationship and wanted me to turn Muslim to be accepted into the family. He had his own business and worked long hours so I was always alone. His family after two years still wanted nothing to do with me and my son. I have no family who lives in the same state as I do, so family was a big thing. I gave it time thinking it would change but it never did. Also he let himself go, gained weight, let it all hang out and I didn’t find myself attracted to him anymore. He was selfish in bed and was a little controlling. He stayed at my house most nights throughout the two years but still lived with parents and when I mentioned moving he said he would buy a house but his parents would have to live with us. His family through the minor interactions I had with them was very mean and rude to me. So all these factors combined made me realize it was time to move on. In all of these relationships I did the right thing, didn’t introduce my son till 6 months of dating and then after two years I realized I had to get out. I think that being a single mom didn’t allow me to date because I would fall in lust and then later involve my son and then feel like I had to make work so that my son could have a father figure. Then I would figure out they weren’t the father figure I wanted so I would run. But in this case my son is older, he really liked him and when I told him of the break up he cried and crys everytime he realizes he is not coming home. The guy has been supportive and spoke with my son and told him to take care of mom and they would always be friends. I know my son will get over it, but it breaks my heart. At 26 I understand to date is not a crime and most people in their 20’s go through different relationships. But in my case I feel like there is something wrong with me. Now I am single again. I am not worried about dating for right now. But what do I do right in the future to avoid these sad situations. I don’t think it’s healthy for my son to see me go through so many men, but its not healthy to stay with them either, and because I break up with them, I carry guilt. I know it’s for the best for my son, but what do I do in the meanwhile and in the future. Pls help. Any advice whether good or bad is appreciated.


Dalya July 15, 2012 at 6:15 am

I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old both same father we live together he also has another child who is 4 from another relationship i found out that the mother of his other child has been lying to him about being the father of her kid that his friend it actualy the kids father dna tedt and everything but my boyfriend dose not no i feel stuck in the middle if i tell mi boyfriend i scared he will get mad at me and brake up with me because ive always had my dalts and he nos shes not telling him and the oher guy is waitin on the mother to tell him the truth but its been 4 year and still nothing.. Do i tell him? Do i confront her with it in front of him or do i just sit around and wait for it to just happen? I dont feel its right my boyfriend has to pay child support for a kid that is not his and that the real father dont get to see her or the the child dont get a relatioship with her father…. Ugh sumone help plz


gefe July 19, 2012 at 6:00 pm

I have been in bondage ever since my ex leave for another woman, It was really hell for me and everybody told me to forget about him but i could not because i love him so much, Things get worse until my friend Gina introduced me to this great spell caster Dr. kamar and i contacted him through his email ( i explain everything to him and he cast a spell for me immediately after three days, everything turn around and Paul come to me on his knee begging for forgiveness that i am the one and only woman in his life now. i was surprise i have never seen such a miracle in my life. I am so thankful to this man and i will forever publish his name


katka August 5, 2012 at 6:44 pm

hi all, thank you for sharing – this site has helped as nothing else really out there regarding impact on children from breaking up with your partner who’s not their parent. this situation is happening right now in our family & i am devastated on so many levels. i really thought this relationship would last. my girls are 10 & 8 so quite aware, they have got close with my now x boyfriend over the last 2 years. their father is not really part of their life – he comes & goes. so my bf was their constant & a positive male – so kind & patient with them. the crunch was they were going to camp for the first time last week & i was looking forward to time just us. he decided to go fishing. i was upset & thought hey if you can’t commit to this one week we really are not going anywhere so i gave an ultimatum & he couldn’t step up. anyway i am all over the place & finding it hard not to cry constantly – every thought is desperate, he was my best friend. but i need to tell them & soon as they start to expect to see him (my mum said let it fade but at their age & the time spent together i think this disrespectful to them). he has agreed to see them with me to tell them. i’m scared ill just fall to pieces as still so upset with it myself. so far i am thinking of saying that we no longer wanted the same things & that we/he still loves them & how special our time together has been. but i’m so scared they will be devastated too….anyway see how it goes this week….


Chloe September 20, 2012 at 11:28 pm

I cannot tell you all how beneficial this blog is to me right now. My bf of just about a year broke up with me suddenly a week and a half ago. I have a 7 year old daughter and I am divorced going on five years. My daughter’s dad is very involved, to the point we’ve had to go to court a few times. I just wanted a good amazing person for me.
I met him online, he has two kids, 8 yr old boy and 13 yr old girl. He is divorced. Their ex isn’t very good with the kids, but they share custody.
My ex lives with his mother, sister and her husband because he hasn’t been able to afford to move out. He was the perfect guy. Soccer coach, kids in tae kwon do, our kids all got along. He went out of his way to meet my daughter and be good to her. Then things got hard, I had to go back to court, and he started coaching again. I confronted him about ignoring a very sweet banner my daughter spent all night working on for his son’s soccer game, and he blew up. Broke it all off. Went home. Deleted all 211 pictures and videos and unfriended me on facebook. Refuses to speak with me. It’s like all of a sudden, I’ve been murdered. I have done everything, including beg, to find out what the hell happened. I was very, very good to him.
I don’t understand. Haven’t told my daughter, and I’m very hurt. I feel like if I couldn’t make it right doing amazing things, how the heck can I make it right for anyone? I know he has a ton of issues that he wouldn’t share with me, believe me he screamed enough at me. But to cut me out, and off, and my daughter as well is just cruel. I don’t know how to heal.


jahana October 5, 2012 at 4:54 pm

My boyfriend and I were happy as far as I could tell and I never thought that we would break up. When his cousin died in a tragic car accident he went back to us for a week to be with his family. I could not go because I was in the middle of entertaining out of town clients for work. He did not seem to be upset that I could not go so I let him be. The next thing that I know, he reconnected with an old friend from high school that he had a crush on years ago and they started to have an affair! I had no clue what was going on until a month after he came back from us .He proceeded to see both her and I until I caught him testing her one night. I confronted him and he told me the truth about what happened. We broke up and went our separate ways. Neither of us fought for our relationship. I was angry and decided not to be upset about it and just keep it moving. Then after about a month of not speaking to him I became sad. I wanted him to tell me that he wanted to be with me and not her. I contacted Dr.Ancient from ANCIENT BENIN SHRINE for a love spell and he totally helped me! he was able to get him to miss me to where he wanted to get back together again. He had a lot of regrets and felt bad for not fighting to keep me and for cheating in general. He values our relationship so much more now and we are together now! You can also get your lover back with the help of Dr. Ancient contact him through


JR October 22, 2012 at 10:12 pm

I am a 43 year old man who met a woman who was pregnant and helped raise her daughter (she is now 2) as my own until about a month ago. In the whirlwind of all the stress we never got to know each other well and have finally come to the conclusion after all this time that we are not right for each other. I have not seen her daughter in 3 weeks. Now after breaking up, she still wants me to see her daughter. What should I do? Say good-bye now or continue seeing her?


SR February 8, 2013 at 3:36 pm

I could use some advice from the other side of this equation – I am hoping the single moms out there can help give me their feedback and insight on how you’d want this handled if it was your child. I have no children (never married, never had kids). Until this week, I was dating a 40 year-old divorced man for a little over 2 years. His son and daughter (11 and 9 years old) live with their mother in another state and he would fly to see them twice a month – and they would come to our town for the summer and every other holiday. He was (rightfully) very cautious about making sure we were serious before I ever met his children. I respected that and agreed with him 100% – I felt it was the absolute right move. I met them about 8 months into our relationship, after we both were on the same page that this was leading to marriage. His kids are absolutely amazing – and were very sweet and accepting of me. I always tried not to overstep boundaries when it came to getting to know them – I always let their dad and mother decide when and if we spent time together, whether they could call me when they were with their mother, etc. Bottom line: I feel we both acted like responsible adults when it came to me and his kids. After he said it was OK, his daughter started texting me about 6 months ago so she could stay in touch with me when she’s not visiting us. It’s just a text here and there during the week to let me know how school is going, etc.

This week I found out he’s been cheating on me with another woman that he met on a business trip last year. I found out by seeing some explicit emails and disgusting pictures he thought he had deleted. I was outraged – especially because I had sensed something was off lately and had asked him about it – and he denied anything was going on (of course). When I confronted him, he lied about it, then said I was overreacting and jumping to conclusions. That this wasn’t that big of a deal, etc.

I realized that I cannot be with a man that cheats on me. The level of deception he’d been workinh under the past year was just frightening to me. There were many other problems in our relationship that I was willing to work through and overlook – but fidelity and honesty are too important to me and any trust we had has simply been permanently broken by his cheating.

My question is – how should I handle his sweet daughter that texts me? In spite of the fact that he’s a cheating bastard, my ex-boyfriend is a good father to his kids. But, he’s also the king of avoidance and I know (through past experiences) that he’s probably not going to tell them that we broke up and just avoid the topic when it comes up. I don’t know whether to ask him how HE wants me to deal (if at all) with telling his daughter anything (since she and I were texting until the breakup). I hate to just disappear on her and have her think I am abandoning all contact – she is a sweet girl and did nothing wrong and shouldn’t have to pay for her father’s mistakes.

If this was your daughter – how would you want it handled? I don’t want to overstep any boundaries and text his daugther that her father and i are not together any more. Help! Any thoughts?


Matina July 17, 2013 at 7:31 am

If not for Dr Moon the great spell caster what would i have done. my life was almost coming to an end when my lover of 6 yrs left me for another woman. I was so sad that it started affecting my work. was issued quarry twice just because i was missing work and not concentrating when i even manage to go to work. until this faithful day when i saw some posting by two ladies Felicia and Yvonne testifying about how Dr Moon brought back their lover in less than 24 hrs at first i laugh but something inside of me just said there is no harm in trial so decided to contact him.I told him the problems i was having and he said i should give him 48 hrs.even after i spoke to him still had doubt until finally when i received a call from a man that i had not talked to for 4 months. decided to share this testimony because of other people that might need help like me you can contact him directly on


Life is good August 2, 2013 at 7:00 pm

Well, my story sounds like most woman out here.
I am a single mom, divorced for about 5 years, with a son that is 10 years old, the nicest little boy ever.
A year ago I met a wonderful man that I thought we will have a future together… I guess I was wrong. He told me that he loves me and I am the love of his life and he wants to be with me and of course be part of my sons life. I have him my heart, trust and let him meet my son . Till few days ago when he told me that he is not ready to be a stepfather or a husband and he may never be ready for this and he needs some time.
I gathered my few things from his house and I left in pain and hurt! I could not even talk. My son was with his father so I had few days of thinking of all this, I was speechless.
I told my boyfriend to take his time and when he is ready to let me know what the plan is… It sounds patetic isn’t it to actually get dumped and I can still be nice about it!
The problem now is that he is been texting me since, he is telling me that he is missing me and loves me but he still needs time !? Really!!
After a couple of weeks of this texting back and forth I told him nicely that he needs to stop texting and contacting me in any form till he gets his things together! I had enough of all this nonsense.
But the problem I am having now is that my son is crying and doesn’t understand
Why he cannot see my boyfriend! He is crying every night and when he wakes up he is asking me the same question. ” when do we see … ”

This man was the only man that my son has ever met as my boyfriend.Honest I wish I have never let my boyfriend meet him but on the other hand how do I know if my child and him are getting along if they never meet.
It hurts more then anything else to see my son in such pain and is nothing I can do to help besides holding him and kiss him and telling him that I understand the pain of missing somebody.

If I will do this again I would honesty would not let anybody meet him unless I get a ring and I know for sure that he is the man for our family.
I wish everybody good luck out there.
Is definitely not easy to be a single mom with morals and good intentions in this world but I know God has it planed for all of us 🙂


Looking at the end. October 28, 2013 at 12:57 pm

I am the single father of a beautiful 10 year old girl. After my divorce 5 years ago I dated a lot always on the look out for warning signs which usually ended up slapping me in the face. None of these women ever met my daughter. After 2.5 years of being single I met the perfect woman. She was intelligent, beautiful, had a great heart, a wonderful 4 year old son, and shared my sense of humor. After 6 months of dating we met the kiddos and everything just clicked. She was moved in after 8 months of dating and things were perfect for another 8 months. The change come on suddenly just after we got engaged. She became critical, mean, and we began to fight which we had never done before in a year and a half. She’s between jobs (no real income in 1.5 years) and I float all the bills while this is happening. She always feels completely stressed out and becomes angry at the drop of a hat. We are no longer able to communicate without fighting. When she’s angry about something she literally focuses it on me to which I defend myself and then the fight is on……. We have the same exact fight 6-9 times a month and it always ends with changes being promised but which never happen… I’m depressed and literally hate going home now…. I’m by no means perfect but do deserve to be loved and respected and want so badly to be able to give the same without walking on egg shells all the time… I’ve finally come to the conclusion that it’s run its course and just isn’t healthy anymore. The next time I’m in the cross hares over something I have no control over I’m just going to have to end it….. She loves my daughter and I love her son…. I don’t know how that will play out and it hurts to think about losing him or my daughter losing her…. In all honesty I’ve probably put of ending it for the last few months for that very reason.

How do we protect our kids from us and our life changing decisions that have no guarantee of panning out?

We can’t. We have to do the best we can with what we have and be responsible in our decisions when it comes to our children meeting potential life changing role models they will grow to love. We have to have faith that we can find the relationship we need and build the family our children deserve…….


angelo November 26, 2013 at 4:08 pm

i am Angelo from south Africa,am here to testify how Dr ebhobho helped me get my ex back after four months of back up and the amazing thing about Dr ebhobho is that he did not charge for the spell work instead this testimony is the price i have to pay for his good work and his kind gesture he offers me if you want your ex back like i did mine,you can contact him on


Mary January 15, 2014 at 11:35 pm

I am in the single-mom-with-two-kids-and-bf-just-suddenly-quit-us place. This is the fourth time my guy has let me down, and I am ready to end this (or accept this as the end). That helps. I love him, I know he loves me, my kids love him, I believe he loves them, but we don’t work.

I really liked your specific suggestions for answering questions, Jenny, and I used those. My kids are angry and sad, and I think that’s okay. Life is full of adversity. The kids and I have had and will have many unexpected outcomes in life, many disappointments, many short-term joys. We are hurting, but it’s important to know when it is right to let someone go. And even more important to try to respect yourself enough to cut someone loose when needed. We are models for our children in their emotional health.

Stay strong, single moms! We are so much stronger than anyone else can possibly imagine. Take care of yourselves and your kiddos. The joy will follow. I believe it, anyway.


Marian February 1, 2014 at 5:32 pm

My life is back!!! After 8 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our three kids. I felt like my life was about to end, and was falling apart. I contacted Dr. OKORO LOVE SPELL and after I explained my problem, In just 3 days my husband came back to us and show me and my kids much love and apologize for all the pain he have bring to the family. We solved our issues, and we are even happier more than ever before Dr. OKORO you are the best spell caster. I really appreciate the love spell you cast for me to get the man back to my life i will keep sharing more testimonies to people about your good work. Thank you once again Dr. OKORO. You can also contact Dr. OKORO via email address: dr.okorospelltemple01@ gmail. com in case you are in any problem you can contact this man for help he is always there in his temple to help you solve your problem Contact Email is: dr.okorospelltemple01@ gmail. com CONTACT HIM TODAY VIA THIS EMAIL ADDRESS: dr.okorospelltemple01@ gmail. com AS HIS POWERS ARE SO STRONG AND VERY EFFECTIVE AND HAS NO BAD EFFECT INSTEAD IT HAVE A VERY GOOD RESULT AFTER CASTING THE SPELL.

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Good guy February 25, 2014 at 12:22 am

Most of the comments are about the boyfriend breaking up with a single mom or walking out on the mom and the kid. My situation is the other way around. I dated a single mom for almost a year and I have learned so much from being around them. Having them in my life at the age of 24 until 25, for the first time I felt like a real man. I’ve dated some people in the past and for once I actually felt like I finally had somebody who was worth sticking around for. I loved the mom and her 4 year old daughter. I got used to that lifestyle of staying home on nights we couldn’t find a baby sitter for her daughter or going to the park together, we pretty much did things together as if we were a family. I’d be lying if I said I don’t miss those things. On the other hand, she decided to just end our relationship, something that I never saw coming. Throughout those months that we were together, everything was good, I can’t even remember the last time we fought. I’ve accepted her ex (baby daddy) problems but that wasn’t the main issue that separated us. Close to the end of our relationship, she got really busy. She was dealing with work, her daughter, school, and this club that she recently joined. Like I said she got really busy to the point our communication was breaking. We’d go 2 or 3 days without talking to each other and not see each other for weeks because we live six hours away from each other. But to be honest, the distance wasn’t the issue because the traveling part was the most exciting part of the relationship for me, you could call me crazy. Yeah, I was 25 single, live in a city full of beautiful girls and I decided to date a single mom who lived 6 hours away. But that’s what made me pursue her more, probably why I fell deeply in love with her. All I ever wanted for her was to take care of her priorities, even if that meant putting me number 3 or 4 or 5 on her list, her daughter as number 1. Our plan was after she finished school, she would move to the city where I currently reside, get a job here, then maybe consider starting a family with me. But that plan was completely erased. She changed her mind. She said that she didn’t want to leave her city anymore, she didn’t want to have a child with me, she didn’t want to leave her friends and family and that she loved this new group of people she met. She also mentioned that I was stuck in my comfort zone, which I am not denying. However, she didn’t even give me a chance to make myself better, work things out with me, or give me more motivation, the same motivation that I’ve been giving her throughout our relationship. It was like she just gave up on me. It hurt because I felt like I was a good partner and I loved her like no other and her daughter as if she was my own. Now that our relationship is over, I’m trying to move on and make myself even better than before. I’ve learned so much from this relationship, I found out that I could actually be a good father someday. This was definitely the hardest break up I’ve ever had but we dealt with it so maturely. I will miss her and I will definitely miss her daughter. I will never forget that moment when she called me “dad”. Pictures I’m living through for now, just trying to remember all the good times.


Ashley February 26, 2014 at 7:42 pm

I have a two year old daughter who doesn’t know who her father is because he hasn’t wanted to see her. Currently going threw the final stages of divorce he moves home to be there for her now. She’s confused and scared because he’s a stranger to her. I left him in 2013 because he was an awful person. I came back to my home town and rekindled with an old boyfriend (the guy who took my virginaty) we’ve always maintained a great friendship but he can’t get over my life choices. Getting married, having a baby and such. My family is one of those that encourages: go to school (high school), get married and have babies. I simply didn’t know enough about life to choose what I wanted for myself. To travel and experience being a young person. Long story short my boyfriend is 24 and I’m 22. Been dating 9months. He wants to experience life as a youn person and has decided the ready made family thing isn’t what he wants. I’m heart broken for my daughter and I. She loves him. I don’t know how to tell her he’s moving out this weekend.
All my friends say he needs to get over it and accept everything. I’m kinda of to the same point. I love him so much because I know I should of stayed and did school and should of been with him. I’m just lost with little support and I don’t know where to go from here.


James June 8, 2014 at 8:58 am

This will happen time and time again. Stop introducing your boyfriends to your kids. Selfish women deserve all the anguish that they cause for themselves. Put your kid first. Not your own love life and convenience of a make do dad. Settle for some sex on a Saturday night and get on with the next 18 yrs o your life without causing your kid anymore heart ache. Wake up time. Got it? It’s simple.


Dani March 12, 2014 at 10:49 pm

I am dealing with quite the same thing. I have been dating a man who is 36 years old, a friend of my family and no kids for 6 months. I have a 6 year old daughter who hasnt seen her father in almost 4 years and he (daughters father) calls every so often. My boyfriend broke up with me out of no where. Now, he has always said, my daughter and I are his “girls” he loves us and wants to give us the world. We stayed together 3 to 4 nights a week and he and my daughter are very close. On Sunday he blew, he went on a tangent that he will never be my daughters father and the calls (the very little she does receive) from her dad are ridiculous. He wants all communication stopped and hates that he has no say in that. He also stated that he does not like the dynamic between my mom and my stepdad with my daughter. They are very involved and of course as grandparents do, they can spoil her. He doesnt like that he has no say in that either. Basically said he is done and since, will barely talk to me. Of course I am heartbroken, but I am heartbroken from my daughter. He never voiced his opinion before, and I just dont get it.


James June 8, 2014 at 8:53 am

Dani. The guy is an idiot. Get rid of him. Trying to push the last bit of your child’s father away for good. Doesn’t sound like he has her best interests at heart. And if he has then he is confused about what he thinks is right for your daughter. How dare he!!!! She is your daughter. And her fathers daughter. Not your boyfriend’s. So wake up. Man up. And stand up for your daughter and her dad. She will always love her dad. No matter how little he sees her. She will always crave him in her life. Even if she does not externalise this fact , trust me, she will always wish for him to be in her life. If even only once in ten years. Your boyfriend is a fool. And so are you for standing for his nonsense. Wake up girls. You’re all screwing with your children’s life because of your own need to feel loved. Is go as far to say selfish, if not, at least blind.


trica March 19, 2014 at 12:05 am

Greeting to any body that is reading my comment, All Thanks goes to DR OLOKUM, i was married to my husband, and we were living fine and happy. it come to an extend that my husband that use to love and care for me, those not have my time again, until i fined at that he was having an affair with another woman, i try to stop him,all my effort was in-vain sadly he divorce me and went for the woman. he live me with two of our kids, i cry all day, i was in pains, sorrow and looking for help. i was reading a news paper, i saw how dr. trust help people with his love and reuniting spell. so i decided to contact him and explain my problem to him, he did a love spell that make my husband to come back to me and our kids and never think of the woman. this man is god sent to restore heart break and reunite relationship. may the lord be your strength and continue to use you to save people relationship and any problem they encounter contact him for help LAVENDERLOVESPELL@YAHOO.COM i promise you that you, he will but a smile on your face and make you feel happy. good luck.


Josie March 21, 2014 at 11:14 pm

My bf of 6 years just broke up with me. He’s got 2 boys (10-11) and I have 7 year old girl. We do not live together (long story). We have date night Thursday’s. We broke up after our date night. My daughter is coming back Sunday and I don’t know what to tell her when we are not going to his home Saturday morning. She’s known him since she learned to walk. Spends more time with him than her father. My heart was broken, I’m ok, but now it’s torn as I don’t know what to say to her. She loves him and the boys.


kattie April 1, 2014 at 9:11 pm

Hi everyone,I have just read all of the posts and I am in tears! My life for the past 10 yrs has been,I don’t know how to put it, I guess lonely and loveless. I’m 26yrs I ve been with my fiance for 10 yrs and we have 2 sons. Our oldest 7 has AS too and my youngest 3 has autism. I feel so lonely in my family, none of them understand me at all and don’t try. I feel like i ve lost myself. I is much harder to deal with my Fiance then my kids of course, because I shouldn’t have to parent him. I don’t want to parent 3 people, I want love. He doesn’t even feel love I don’t think! I’m very sad thinking that I am putting my self in this position, to never put myself 1st or get anything I need or want it life. My family nor his gets it and they say that because he works and takes care of his family with money I should be happy enough. I wish there were groups where iI live but I haven’t found and yet. I’m very happy to find other people out there dealing with this, because living life like this is very lonely. I would love to start talking with some of you,all things happen because great zalilu was very great to me,after he help me getting back my man every thing have be working fine.Please you can contact he for help so you can be happy in your relationship.Email him at;


Nicole May 27, 2014 at 1:46 am

Well I met Mr. Sharp when I was going thru an ugly breakup.. I was very well going down the hill that I see am going thru now except that I am not using drugs. Or drinking. Thank God. Mines more from the strain of finances, my mother n older brother are both disabled and I can’t really go to anyone for comfort. I have been very depressed, overwhelmed , and even jealous of my friends at times because they are making plans for vacations and their children are doing great in school. You see my kids and I have had to fight a constant battle. Well their biological father was an method addict and never tried to give the time nor availability to help me with them. I found myself so confused, so restricted because I was walking to appointments, going to court hearings because the state finally caught up with me and removed them. I hated .myself I let them down. I failed. I loved bolding them. Kissing them. And wanting to see their faces. I woke up everyday to go out to go to every class I could take to get them back. Now am facing leaving a guy we all are very attached to especially my youngest. He stepped up and became a father . but he has issues and I am just at an awful dead end . how can I walk away make these kids go thru that pain. Another summer. It jus seems like a pattern. Every summer and am extremely at no words on how to react. I don’t wanna clean, cook, or even be of use. How can my relationship be helped. I don’t wanna lose a man I truly live with n love. I know my kids love hi.. They tell everyone that that’s their step dad but our fights are ugly, we are constantly fighting over money because he didn’t spend our income tax return wise at all. We are two months behind on rent. I have a 7.50/$hr job n making pymts with my landlord. I feel broken. I want to provide my children a home with love. I feel my pain and see theirs. I take them to a counseling.. But I just dnt want someone to again break us up . I pray that we can find someone to help us. I just don’t want to tear my family thru crap over and over. I don’t want see them grow up not believing in love and know only that they get the punishment of a breakup and never allowing someone to love them. I grew up in a foster home and my current boyfriend was like me as well so we know how it feels. I think that’s why he is tolerating us. But seriously he threatens for me to leave, but once I start arranging I think he realizes he will lose out on everything he wants to.
Today was another fight about me being lazy, and not 24/7 eyehawking my 7,5 and 2 year old. Granted he has a valid point I need to focus more… But my stress of no home, possibly no reliable transportation because like I said he chose to purchase a vehicle and do down pyt. Now we are back on rent we have car pymts .. Daycare and fees for legals issues we are unae to handle… I am happy he stopped messing with friend who wouldn’t pay him for working for him. But should I hold on.. Should I give it a chance I know he is under pressure as well.I know our fights are not helping.. The lack of affection is even more. But I just don’t feel up to it because am so exhausted and feel so unloved by my whole family. What should I do.



Devastated June 23, 2014 at 6:04 pm

Thank you for this. I left my daughter’s dad when she was only 9 months old. He was abusive and controlling. I knew that I needed to get out so she wouldn’t think that this kind of relationship is ok. It has been just her and me for 3 years. I rarely dated and she never met any guys. Then one day, I met what I thought was my “one.” He moved a little fast for my taste, talking about moving in, marriage, babies, but he was great to me. And after finally letting him meet my daughter (she’s 4), was great to her. She took a little more convincing…lol. She is stubborn and didn’t like anyone stealing her mommy away, even for just 5 minutes. But eventually he grew on her(8 months after her meeting him). Just two weeks ago she told me that she loved him and wanted us to be a family. And here it is, two weeks later, and he decides that he doesn’t know what exactly he wants out of life. He’s 30, but wants his freedom. He wants to move to another city or even state, if his job allows it. He knows that I can’t/won’t move that far away. I own my own house and have a fantastic job. It took my 3 years to earn this job. I finally have the perfect hours to be off with my daughter when she gets out of school. So now we’re broken up and I don’t know how to tell her. My poor baby who has a harder time letting people in than I do.

Also, how do you single mommies allow yourself to love again? It was so hard to feel safe in the first place. So hard to finally let yourself fall. Only to be broken once more.


Monu February 4, 2015 at 2:20 am

I can totally retale mine is getting her license this summer and has been rolling her eyes at me since she was 11. There’s days when you don’t know if you should laugh or cry, hold them or send them to join the circus. It makes us appreciate our own mothers! Thanks for sharing, I love Martina and hadn’t heard this one.


Sadsinglemom June 27, 2014 at 2:23 pm

I am a single mother with an 8 year old boy. The biological father has never been around or helped in any way. I got into a serious relationship with a single man a little over 2 years ago. I was hesitant to allow anyone close to me and my child. But I really liked him and I decided to open up to him and allow a relationship with me and my son. Nine months into the relationship he moves in with us. There were times when my son would not want us to sit together or hold hands. Eventually my son came to love this man and trust him. He picked him up from school, went to Father/Son breakfast with him at school. As our relationship progressed my son started to ask when we would get married and have more kids. A little over a year later he proposes and asks me to be his wife. I feel like I have waited all this time and I have finally found my life partner. Then a several months into the engagement I notice strange behavior from my fiancé. I come to find out that he’s been chatting and texting with women he has met from an online dating site. Needless to say I was devastated. He told me he was sorry and that I should try to forget about it. I struggled for weeks trying to get him to really talk about what happened and how to rebuild the trust in the relationship only to be brushed off or reproached for even bringing up the subject. Communicating about anything became difficult. I ended up breaking off the engagement and telling him to move out since I couldn’t deal with all of the doubts I was having about our future. Now my son is devastated. This man was the only father he has ever known. I am hurting because I put so much trust in this guy and it’s a real struggle to keep it together for my son when he asks those tough questions about my ex. I hurt deeply for my son. I don’t know what to do.


Chizuko February 3, 2015 at 10:47 am

I hear ya sister! I haven’t been thgrouh it with my own daughter yet, but I did that dance with my baby sister who lived with me. It’s a hard time, but you’ll get thgrouh it and the amazing part is you’ll find out SHE WAS LISTENING when you were talking but don’t let her know that you know that.<3 to you


Joes Candra July 6, 2014 at 7:11 pm

I am joes candra, I promise to share this testimony all over the world once my boyfriend return back to me, and today with all due respect i want to thank DR.OSAUYI for bringing joy and happiness to my relationship and my family. I want to inform you all that there is a spell caster that is real and genuine. I never believed in any of these things until i loosed my boyfriend, I required help until i found a grate spell caster, And he cast a love spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my boyfriend back in two days after the spell has been cast. Three days later, my phone rang, and so shockingly, it was my boyfriend who has not called me for past 6 years now, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to be my back bone till the rest of his life with me. DR.OSAUYI released him up to know how much i loved and wanted him. And opened his eyes to picture how much we have share together. As I`m writing this testimony right now I`m the most happiest girl on earth and me and my boyfriend is living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up. So that`s why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe.All thanks goes to DR.OSAUYI for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is the email address in any situation you are undergoing a heart break, and I assure you that as he has done mine for me, he will definitely help you too. OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM that is his email address bye


Nicole July 21, 2014 at 8:38 pm

Hi, I’ve read all the comments and they all seem to be from the parents of the children. I’ve just split up with my boyfriend of 8/9months and he has a 23month old son. I miss him terribly and loved him like my own. Obviously I have no genetic relationship to him, so I miss out on seeing him grow up. We have a very close bond and I don’t want him to think I’ve left him but he is too young to know what going on.
How would anyone cope with this?


John July 28, 2014 at 6:12 pm

I have recently broke I up with a single mother. We dated for just under 6 months. She was a friend of friends. Due to her daughters father not being around I got introduced to her within two weeks. I loved coming home and sitting having tea as a family and loved my girlfriend very much. My girlfriend then started getting into moods over the summer holidays and informed me I can’t make decisions about my house without her being involved and also started turning my house to hers. I did say treat it as if it was your own but never expected to come in after work changing the furniture around. We both have our own house’s and after such a short time I felt I had to tell her.

I told her my feelings had changed and I felt it best we parted, it was very hard and feel guilty that I broke up even though I knew I was happier for telling her. Her daughter is lovely and even thought should I try for her. This I decided was wrong as it wasn’t what I wanted. The hours of talking we did before parting was very difficult especially when one person still wants the relationship. The whole thing was horrible especially when she asked me what do I tell my daughter. She now thinks I lied that I loved her and really dislikes me now.

The whole thing of a being honest when my feelings changed towards her isn’t what she wanted to hear. The abusive texts and name calling has confirmed that I did the right thing. Unfortunately now I will never date a single mother again as I am now feeling that if it doesn’t work out the pain to others is too much. I gave up my best female friend because she asked me as she felt insecure.

I just want to say if a guy brakes up with you he usually has thought about it seriously and not done lightly. He is left torn as he still cares just not loves.


Dee H-F July 29, 2014 at 5:51 am

I’m struggling with a similar dilemma.. My ex & i were together since my son was 1, but he had been in the picture since my son was 6months old. We broke up when he was 2 & then January this year we decided to try & make things work.. Now my son is 3 and he’s left abruptly on Sunday 1 year exactly (down to the date) that he left before.. My son only knows him, he doesn’t know his biological Father so he is Daddy to him. Aswell as me being heartbroken i don’t know how my son is gonna cope. He keeps asking for “Daddy” 🙁


Nique July 31, 2014 at 3:22 pm

My story started off 8 years ago I got pregnant dad didn’t want anything to do with me. I ended up meeting a man and got married while I was pregnant. my Husband and I didn’t work out he left me when my son was 1 and half. I was devastated. I put all my eggs in his basket. After that I told my self I will never rely on a man like I did. 6 months later I meet this amazing man. I was a mess at the time working part time still going through a divorce, learning how to become a single mom. I was only 21 at the time. This man was so set in his ways he was the man of my dreams everything I could ever want. We were so good with each other. Fast forward 5 and half years later , I started gain some weight a few years back ( he didn’t like it and made it know) His family is pressing us to get married and start a family and Move in together. Yes after 5 years we still don’t like together, but it was okay. He has been getting sick lately so I have been taking care of him on the weekends while we stay at his house. I call him like I do everyday at work just to say hi (mind you I am head over heels for this man and have been for years). He says in a sad voice we need to talk things aren’t going good I need to change and he’s not happy with what is going on between us. I don’t know how to tell my son they are best friends. We are best friends. My whole revolves around my son and him. My son looks up to him. the funny thing is now im 27 and hes 42. He wants younger and skinner and no bags to hold her down. I cant compete with that. Am I ever get over this and how do I console my 7 years he is his hero.


Sevda Gulea September 19, 2014 at 7:20 am

Am Sevda Gulea i want to thank Dr. ODIAGBE AKHIBE for getting my lover back to me within 48 hours. When my lover left me i was so tired and frustrated till i search the internet for help and i saw so many good talk about Dr. ODIAGBE AKHIBE of ( and i decided to give him a try and i contact him and explain my problems to him and he cast a love spell for me which i use to get my husband back. If you want to get your lover back contact Dr. ODIAGBE AKHIBE via email: ( Dr. ODIAGBE AKHIBE the great man that is able to bring back my lost love.


Diego F. November 28, 2014 at 1:46 pm


I’m a 32 yr old single dad, my daughter is 4 and lives with me, she only sees her mom on Saturdays and she’s barely a mother figure. So, my gf for the past year and a half was sort of a mother figure, and we just broke up, for personal diferences. Now of course my daughter seems sad about it, although I have not told her yet something definitive, I’ve told her I have a lot of work and that my ex can’t come because of that (sorta blaming me to avoid my daughter being bitter).

But I feel like I need to give her a more truthful and definite answer. And I will today, so that may be a bit tough, but I think it is tougher that nobody explains to her what happened and she keeps hoping she’ll come back.

The whole “single mom dating conundrum” is probably one of the worst part of being a single full-time dad/mom. Good to know I’m not the only one who can’t figure it out yet.

Thanks for sharing and thanks for reading.


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Thanks for sharing your thoughts on break up. Regards


Lost January 29, 2015 at 2:10 am

I have been dating my boyfriend for two years and when me and him got together he had his ex’s daughter living with him. Well I was uncomfortable with the situation and to him often. Well needless to say we got into alot of fights over it. The ex who is also the mother of his son didn’t want the little girl to come over anymore. It has been a year and the little girl still calls him daddy and hangs all over him anytime we see her. She knows her real father and this is the second guy she calls dad that was the moms boyfriend. My question is am I wrong for wanting to ask him that he put a stop to it? Plz help am at a loss. I would also like to add that the mother wouldn’t let the real dad see the little girl while she was with the other guy and my boyfriend. But as soon as my boyfriend and her broke up she said that the little girl was asking to see her real dad. Everyone in my boyfriends family knew she was using the little girl to make my boyfriend feel bad. HELP!!!!


Lost January 29, 2015 at 2:22 am

Adding that the girl would throw shots at me and my son. She would always try to get in between me and my boyfriend when we were anywhere trying to sit and talk or while we were on the couch relaxing.


tim January 29, 2015 at 8:28 am

I stumbled upon this site – it looks like there is a lot of good advice.

I’m a 45 yr old divorced father of a wonderful 7.5 year old boy – and within the last 2 weeks, ended a 2 year relationship. This is the first time (after being cautious with introducing my son to someone) that he opened to to her immediately. They had (what I hope – in hindsight) was a wonderful relationship. She would do so much for us as our “family” grew stronger – plan weekend activities and such.

But it wasn’t until about 6 months, that I found out she had her issues with my son being around and taking up “Her” time. Things started going down hill quickly after that, but I thought we could work them out – but to no avail. Same arguments, same issues and finally I ended things.

But, since the breakup, I haven’t seen my son and have been wondering how to tell him. I know this is going to be hard on him. But, at least know I have a starting point and will talk with him and explain it.

Also – wanted everyone to know that this works both ways – us single dads can end up heartbroken and struggling on how to explain things to their children as well.


Fitim February 3, 2015 at 8:28 am

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Feelingfooled April 7, 2015 at 6:05 pm

My bf and I of 19 mths just split bc he and my 8 year old son didn’t get along. I knew early on they didn’t like each other but I hoped that we could find a way to work it all out. I’m feeling extremely guilty that I let the relationship continue on knowing that my son felt rejected by this man. I feel like I’ve now tainted my bond with my son bc of my choice to “give it time”. Has this happened to other single Moms out there?


laura April 19, 2015 at 11:25 am

looking or an answer


Lana September 30, 2015 at 6:36 pm

My kids don’t see there father but I’ve been with my boyfriend 3 years and now we’ve broken up my kids are devastated my youngest keeps wetting the bed and sobbing her heart out the worse thing about a break up is seeing my kids suffer with me I would love to know how to explain and make this easier for them


EX IS BACK January 12, 2018 at 8:58 am

Hi everyone act there.. i am from germany. i will never forget the help DR.Mack render to me in my marital life. i have been married for 5 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly and deeply. after 3 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i praying for divine intervention the thing became more husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside. i was confuse and i did not no what to do at first. i was searching for help in the internet, i saw so many people sharing testimony on how .Email.dr.mack201@gmail. com help them with their relationship problem. i email him and tell him how my husband left me. And he assure me that my husband will be back home within the next 48 hours .To my greatest surprise my husband came home on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him,i was truly astonished and shocked when my husband knelt down begging for forgiveness and for me to accept him back.. I am really short of expressions, and i don’t know how much to convey my appreciation to you dr. Mack you are a God sent to restore broken relationship. And now i am a joyful woman,


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