The Fine Art of Dumping.

by mssinglemama on January 21, 2008

vinceandjen.jpgI’ve had a rough day.

I didn’t get dumped but my best girl friend did. And she’s a single mom. Needless to say I want to kill the guy (not really FBI guys, but I do want to punch him in the face).

Instead of ranting about what a jerk her now ex-boyfriend is I’ve decided to channel my negative energy into a cynical but hopefully interesting post.

I have a theory – how we break up with someone is a true reflection of our character.

Here are some of the most common ways to break up with someone (in my dating experience) – guess which one the guy used on my single mom friend?

The cold snub.

Usually follows a short fling, maybe a two – four week long relationship. The dumper ceases all contact with the dumpee. Contact may be blatantly ceased via text or e-mail. Cold, cruel and unfair – this dumping tactic is used only by cowards. Everyone, no matter what they’ve done, deserves a reason.

It’s not you it’s me.

An oldie but goodie. The “it’s not you, it’s me” card is an old faithful for many of us.


Used more often by women, sabotage dumping involves unconcious efforts to piss your man off which result in him growing more and more annoyed. Finally he is set up with a situation he’s doomed to fail and then woman uses that as the reason for the dump.

The mutual dump.

The best of the best, a mutual break up often involves sweet and passionate farewell sex followed by kind words, a big hug and a short good bye. Ideal for any couple.

See ya later.

Used by only the most self-absorbed and heartless of us, the “see ya later” is a quick and abrupt end to what was a long (anywhere from 6 months up) and very serious relationship. The “see ya later” can often be followed by calls from the dumper weeks later begging for forgiveness. Dumpee usually caves, forgives dumper and is subsequently dumped again months later. Could go on and on from both sides until relationship self-destructs.

I still love you, but…

The worst one of all. Uhhh…yeah, but if you still loved me than why are you dumping me. Yeah right. Liar, liar pants on fire – you don’t really know what love is – poor you.

I just don’t love you anymore.

At least you’re honest.

If you have any to add…please, by all means – speak up and leave a comment!

And guys – if you were dating a single mom would you dump her differently than you would a single, childless woman? In my experience and my friend’s experiences men surprisingly don’t always take our vulnerability into account. And guys – for tips on how you should treat a single mom – read up, here.

(photo source)

Related posts:

  1. Are all of the good men taken? And if they’re not…what’s wrong with them?
  2. Online Dating Etiquette: How to break up…virtually.
  3. Dating a Single Mom, Part 1

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