Do men really care if you’re a single mom?
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Not unless you do.
The question should be “Do you think men really care if you’re a single mom?” If the answer is no - you’re good to go. If not … keep reading.
When I started to date again, 5 months after my husband and I separated, I could imagine the end result - a sweet husband, a sweet father. But how would I get there? How would a man not run away screaming after spending more than one day with my feisty little baby? What if he saw me change a poopy diaper? What if Benjamin threw food in his face? And how would I even find the time to date him?
I didn’t think any man could actually handle that. But in reality - it was me.
I couldn’t imagine them entering our lives…so I never let any of them get in. I was pushing them away. More importantly, my desperation was pushing them away.
In the end it was a man who made me see the light.
This past summer I had a fun fling. He was super sweet and completely smitten with me. It was only because he was “safe and non-threatening” that I was able to let him see everything - me changing diapers, me covered in messy baby food, me cleaning the house, me being with my son.
In the end we broke up mutually and we’re still friends - he was a great guy! The lesson he left me with … men can fall in love with single moms - and just like always - when a man falls for a woman, they fall hard. And that whole kid thing? It’s icing on the cake.
This is all true if you’ve got a good one. The jerks will fall away and some may hurt you in the process but over time you’ll be better at spotting them
Have you pushed men away? Do you still feel desirable?
Filed under: Dating tips (for the single mama), Dating, sex and love
Ditto!
I am very selective of whom I let enter our lives. I don’t tolerate crap that I would have put up with when I was younger. The fact is that being a single mom takes so much time and energy there really isn’t much “extra” left for dating so he better be “worth” getting a babysitter otherwise I’d rather be sharing popcorn and watching Scooby Doo with my children.
Katie - thanks for pointing out the baby sitter factor. I don’t want to say I wasted a lot of money on bad dates - but it sure feels like it when you get home late at night - and then you’re tired for the next day trying to catch up on lack of sleep. The best thing about my man - he actually offers to watch Benjamin for me so I can go out with the girls or run errands! Now - that’s amazing. Not trying to brag - just trying to illustrate how great some men can be to single moms. They’re out there…that’s for sure.
The man I have been seeing for the last 6 months has put up with a lot of drama, but not because of my son; because of my ex. My ex is a train wreck and has caused many problems in my & my son’s lives. Like you, I am lucky. My boyfriend is wonderful…the man of my dreams. My ex is the man of my nightmares. Literally. I worry about my ex coming between us more than my son. My son and my bf get along great, and my son loves that he has kids his age because he has always been an only child. I sometimes wonder if my bf will bail or not want to have something long term bacause of my ex. It’s infuriating that my ex wrecked my life in the past, sometimes in the present, and, now, maybe in the future. : (
Healing Mom - I didn’t even think about that potential factor! Horrible. I think anyone who really loves you will stick with it - and help you figure out a way to rein your ex in - if not for you - but for your son’s sake. Good luck!
Do you ever get those moments where you’re just like: “Oh.. wow.. I never even thought of that. I think that might describe me.” ?
Yeah… the first big paragraph after your list: Reality Check.
Ouch.
lol
I hate when that little dose of reality comes from someone other than myself lol
Great post.
Yep Nicole - it’s the one thing we do without even realizing it - we don’t even give them a chance. But realizing it is the first step toward correcting it.
Hello,
I actually am the guy dating the single mother. I never thought i would fall for a girl that came with a child, but his name is Ry Ry (Ryland) and he really helped fill some holes in my life along with his mom Brittni.
i guess my point is, if the girl is worth it, then the guy will love the kid just as much, we have been hanging out as just friends for 6 months, and just the other night we finally held hands and talked a little bit deeper.
i am falling for a single mom
it can happen to any mom.
Max. This comment is so beautiful. Thanks for sharing! And yes, it can and does happen every day. You might need to read my blog though now that you’re really falling … we are tough nuts to crack but well worth it.