Top Spots to Meet Men (kid tested and mama approved)

by mssinglemama on January 8, 2008

stuarts.jpgBefore you read this – know this – men rarely approach women.

What they will do is throw a glance or two your way, or make it a point to keep crossing your path. Until we can train our children to throw cupcakes at men to get their attention – we’ll have to take matters into our own hands. But before you can approach them you have to find them. And for a single mom – that’s the tough part. We’re rarely away from our kids if we’re not at work. So here are tons of kid-friendly spots to meet Mr. Right or just a cute boy toy.

My Top Places to Meet Men (all kid-tested and mama approved)

  1. Festivals or concerts – the men at festivals and concerts are one step abbove the men you’ll meet at a bar. They enjoy good music, culture and are active members in their community.
  2. Community social groups – check out Craigslist.com – there’s a world of groups out there. Try a community hike – gives you tons of conversation starters and the kids will love it.
  3. The grocery store (on a Monday night) – if you haven’t noticed yet, grocery stores are FULL – FULL of single men on Monday nights. Not sure why. Probably because the stores are nice and quiet. Men hate shopping, so they often don’t put it on the top of their list over a weekend.
  4. The bookstore or the library – conversation starters galore. “Is that a good book?” “Have you tried the coffee here?” Etc.
  5. The park – yes, I’ve actually picked up a man at the park with Benjamin. He was a single dad. It was awesome. Didn’t work out, but felt great knowing that there are men out there.
  6. The sidewalk – if he’s really hot you could accidentally bump into him with the stroller. I’ve been very, very tempted to do this a few times but chickened out.
  7. The coffee shop – at my local coffee shop there’s a kid’s play area. Benjamin loves to run around the place throwing balls to men. They usually all play along. It’s adorable and he does the work for me.
  8. Online – there are a lot of men to meet. I have yet to have a good experience from online dating. If you do want to try it – choose a site like Yahoo Personals or Match.com where you can search the men for free. Or better yet, MySpace. You can search your zip and find men by age, relationship status or industry. The biggest plus – you can search their profile and get a quick snapshot of their true personality/style. DO NOT use E-Harmony. It’s a scam. Here’s my E-Harmony dating review.

Now that you know where to find them – click here for my advice on how to pick up men.

Related posts:

  1. The Single Mama Stud of the Year award goes too…
  2. What’s a single working mama to do?
  3. Best Single Mama Movies
  4. One side effect of being a dating single mama…my baby is trying to make out with me.
  5. Online Dating: Rules of Thumb

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Tom March 31, 2009 at 4:59 pm

I'm a 33 year old male thats been divorced for 2 years. No kids. Started dating a single mom 2 months ago. Your blog has been a great resource for understanding her and her 2 year old daughter. Thanks so much for being willing to share!

Having said that, I disagree with your advice. In fact, I disagree with much of the "finding-men" advice female friends say.

Could it work? Anything could work. But if your goal is a husband and father, then how realisitic is it? In other words, how many women to you know that met their husbands in a park? Or online? Or in a coffee shop?

Probably the same amount I know: Very few.

If you or your readers are interested, it could let you know the advice I give my female friends on meeting men.

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Tamara Johnson August 25, 2014 at 10:15 pm

If you have advice then please let me know. I am not unattractive, but I clean condos for a living and really have no income that allows me to be ‘social’ or to even go shopping for the pretty clothes, etc. It’s 2x a year that I ‘replenish’ my closet. There are no getting my nails done, or special hair salon visits. I am just me. I am available to be loved and to love, however, my daughter 10 is part of the package deal.

I don’t have money for a babysitter, and have lost touch with friends, since I work work and work to survive. There is no child support. I feel I have missed my youth. When I have gotten into a relationship it was short lived due to my poverty, and having a daughter. I am 48. Men my age are not interested in raising a child, and soon decide not to be involved before it is too late to have a choice in the matter.
Sometimes, there is one date, or oddly, I get a lot of men who just want to be friends with benefits.
I am not sleezy.
I am lonely.
It even effects my girlfriend relationships. I don’t drink, and there is the issue of my work being on call…I am not in a financial situation to turn down work, and the flexibility allows me to be the full time mother that I need to be.
Got any advice?

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mssinglemama March 31, 2009 at 5:12 pm

Please share… where should we meet men?

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Tom March 31, 2009 at 6:20 pm

Engage in activities that increase your odds of getting what you want. STOP wasting time in activities that don’t get you anywhere.

In other words, if you want a husband, don’t go to a bar.

The probability of meeting a future husband comes down to 3 factors:

1. The number of men you meet. (Quantity)

2. The probability of one of those men being a good match. (Quality) This refers to the event's ability to filter out men. As you noted, men at concerts are more cultured than men in a bar.

3. The ability to network socially. (Networking) Ability to make friends who will refer you to other single men.

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Michaela May 30, 2012 at 5:57 am

Thank you Tom for your advice, its nice to hear a man’s opinion on dating.

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Tom March 31, 2009 at 6:22 pm

Examples: (I’m assuming you want a quality husband and stepfather for your son.)

Grocery Stores

1. Quantity: High. Men need to eat.
2. Quality: Very Low. There is no filter. You are hitting on strangers.
3. Networking: None.

Overall: Very Low. You may talk to men, but they’ll most likely be married, in a relationship, weird, or whatever.

Coffee Shop

1. Quantity: Moderate.
2. Quality: Low. Men in a coffee shop show some culture, so you’ve filtered out the social rejects. They’re still strangers. High risk of predators, they love coffee shops.
3. Networking: Low.

Overall: Low. Hang out in a coffee shop long enough, you may date someone. Run a background check on them.

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Tom March 31, 2009 at 6:22 pm

Sidewalk

1. Quantity: High.
2. Quality: Nonexistent. Complete and total strangers you know NOTHING about.
3. Networking: None.

Overall: PLEASE!

Bars

1. Quantity: High.
2. Quality: Low. Men are in full player mode. If they’re good, you’ll never know who they really are. High risk of a player or predator.
3. Networking: Moderate.

Overall: Unless you’re looking for quick sex, probably a waste of time.

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Tom March 31, 2009 at 6:23 pm

Church (Assuming you’re Christian. Temple if you’re Buddhist, Synagogue if you’re a Jew, or whatever.)

1. Quantity: High. Lots of men at church.
2. Quality: High. You have a lot in common with these men. Active in community. Similar religion, morals, belief system. Low risk of predators.
3. Networking: High. Able to make friends. They will tell you who is single, who’s right for you. Many churches have single events.

Overall: Extremely High. Probably the best way to meet a man, period.

Work

1. Quantity: Can be high. Depends where you work.
2. Quality: High. They can hold a job. You know their education and resume. Very low risk of predators.
3. Networking: High. Can make friends that will introduce you to their single male friends.

Overall: High. Depends on where you work. Large companies offer better odds. Risk of affecting your job performance.

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Tom March 31, 2009 at 6:23 pm

School

1. Quantity: High. Especially at bigger schools.
2. Quality: High. They are educated, motivated, and have higher income potential.
3. Networking: Extremely High. Make tons of friends in class. They all have brothers and male friends you need to meet.

Overall: Male nirvana.

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marie September 17, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Tom, Good response. In your view, should a single mom go to church even if she’s not very religious?

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Tremaine January 18, 2013 at 1:36 pm

Marie, seeing as how Tom’s initial response was 4 years ago, I doubt he’ll be making a timely response to your question, so instead I’ll offer my male opinion and say, NO. I mean if you aren’t very religious, yet you offer yourself up to that environment in the sole hopes of meeting a responsible, well rounded man, you’re also opening the doors to a potential hazard as things move forward with your potential mate. That would be the equivalent of a male taking a cooking class when he has no interest in such, just because he knows there’s bound to be women there…The initial shock value may work in his favor, but it’s not long before each woman realizes that he has absolutely no stake in the common objective. Right place, right time, wrong motive, wrong move.

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Elaine May 27, 2010 at 9:17 pm

I’d only add that predators come in all shapes and sizes and are pretty much lurking in every corner. I think the best way to meet quality men is to socialize, stay busy with events that truly interest you, i.e. you love wine, join a wine group; you’re an avid bird watcher, join a club; you like to be outdoors, join a singles adventure group that host 5-10 meet opportunuties each month and go to every event you can get to.

I definitely do not recommend trying to meet men with your children present. It’s confusing and the older they get the more uncomfortable it can become.

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G May 31, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Go to Wine Festivals. Find a local event calendar for wine festivals around your area.

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Alex July 7, 2012 at 9:44 am

sure i preciate ya site bt av searchin one n av neva come a cross can i get one? N how?

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