On sharing a child.

by mssinglemama on December 31, 2007

After nearly two years my son’s father has taken him for his 36 hours of visitation. (Usually he watches him at my place) Right now there’s a pit in my stomach. Not of fear. I know he will take care of him…he is after all a good father and he does love his son more than anything. It’s something else. This just isn’t natural. Sharing a child with an ex spouse. I’m a child sharing rookie, this being my first time with him out of my sight for over 24 hours.

My mix of emotions are as follows:

  • Wow…I have 36 hours to myself, I’m not working so that means just play…and it’s New Years Eve!
  • Where is he going? I don’t even know. I’ve never met my ex’s girlfriend. I’ve never seen their house. I’m just a little bit uncomfortable with this, but I do trust my ex.
  • Will he be okay without me? Yes. It might be hard around bedtime but he’ll have a fun day. He’s a happy, independent kid.
  • Will I be okay without him? Will I be able to have fun tonight? Or will I be worried sick?

I imagine since so many parents in this country have shared custody of their child that it does get easier….but what about the children? Do they ever really adjust to this? I don’t think people ever get married and have babies with the intention of splitting. I know I didn’t. It was a whirlwind, green card wedding but we were in love. I thought with every inch of my body that it would be forever. But my dream came crashing down around me when I realized that we were completely incompatible.

Well…I’ll keep you posted. I’m going to spend the day out and about with my best friend shopping. Then the evening out at a cocktail party and then dancing with my amazing boyfriend. This won’t be that bad…and Benjamin will get a serious dose of daddy time which has been well over due.

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