On sharing a child.

by mssinglemama on December 31, 2007

BenandMama

This is one of a handful of pictures I have of Benjamin and I together. Thanks to a mirror and my wonderful camera. I snapped it just one week after leaving my ex-husband. Benjamin was just 4 months old (isn’t he a cutie!!!). Anyway, to date I have had only a few taken of us together by an outside party.

The holidays are here and I’m actually hoping someone will snap a few pictures of us together.

Just wondering what other single moms do. I could hire a professional photographer. I could ask my friend to take pictures of us every time they come over. Which they would – I guess I just forget to ask. I don’t think about it every day and now two years later I’m like – oh crap – no pictures of us together. That sucks. Same with all of my video of Benjamin – it’s all of him and my voice behind the camera.

Merry Christmas or Holidays by the way…might not get to write again for a few days. Just remember to get lots of group shots at your family gatherings.
BenandMama

This is one of a handful of pictures I have of Benjamin and I together. Thanks to a mirror and my wonderful camera. I snapped it just one week after leaving my ex-husband. Benjamin was just 4 months old (isn’t he a cutie!!!). Anyway, to date I have had only a few taken of us together by an outside party.

The holidays are here and I’m actually hoping someone will snap a few pictures of us together.

Just wondering what other single moms do. I could hire a professional photographer. I could ask my friend to take pictures of us every time they come over. Which they would – I guess I just forget to ask. I don’t think about it every day and now two years later I’m like – oh crap – no pictures of us together. That sucks. Same with all of my video of Benjamin – it’s all of him and my voice behind the camera.

Merry Christmas or Holidays by the way…might not get to write again for a few days. Just remember to get lots of group shots at your family gatherings.
BenandMama

This is one of a handful of pictures I have of Benjamin and I together. Thanks to a mirror and my wonderful camera. I snapped it just one week after leaving my ex-husband. Benjamin was just 4 months old (isn’t he a cutie!!!). Anyway, to date I have had only a few taken of us together by an outside party.

The holidays are here and I’m actually hoping someone will snap a few pictures of us together.

Just wondering what other single moms do. I could hire a professional photographer. I could ask my friend to take pictures of us every time they come over. Which they would – I guess I just forget to ask. I don’t think about it every day and now two years later I’m like – oh crap – no pictures of us together. That sucks. Same with all of my video of Benjamin – it’s all of him and my voice behind the camera.

Merry Christmas or Holidays by the way…might not get to write again for a few days. Just remember to get lots of group shots at your family gatherings.
Yesterday morning I woke up still in a fabulous mood after an amazing night with Kris. We hadn’t had one like that in a while. I have been stressing out about our relationship and my fears have been controlling my emotions, the way I’ve been treating him – everything for the past few weeks.

Read my eye-opening post on “Do I need therapy?”and you can see why…the perfect advice (from commenter Tim) came at the perfect time and I was able to let go of my fears for one night…and one morning…and one afternoon. And now it’s been 48 hours relatively fear free.

So yesterday morning, my new fearless self, asked Kris if he could watch Benjamin while I ran to the grocery and of course, he said yes. He suited Benjamin up and took him to the park while I had nearly one hour of stress free shopping.

Believe it or not, this was the first time I’ve asked a man in my life for help as a single mother. I know I’m not alone in this unhealthy practice of denying ourselves the time we need to be alone.

My theories on why single mothers are afraid to ask boyfriends for help:

  • We have been on our own for a while. The idea of receiving help and then possibly getting used to it and then losing it scares us to death.
  • We expect men to offer help. But in reality they may feel intimidated – after all, from their vantage point it looks like we have everything under control, and they don’t want to insult our pride.
  • We don’t want to scare them off. When we are with someone we may not want to make them feel like dating us would be “hard” or require major household duties on their part.

But we have to remind ourselves – this is our life. If they truly want to be with us it will take some extra “work” on their part. But it shouldn’t feel like work. When I got back from the grocery I thanked Kris again. He said, “No don’t worry about it – we had fun!” I grabbed Benjamin to take him up for his nap. When a friend is over I usually hurry upstairs and lay him down while they wait…but Kris sticks his head around the stairs, “can I come?”

“Sure!” Wow. Is this really happening? He comes upstairs and we all cuddle together on the big nursery chair while Benjamin falls asleep. Amazing. I think he’s falling in love with both of us. I know I’m falling in love with him…I can feel it and this time I’m not going to sabatoge our relationship because of my own fears.
BenandMama

This is one of a handful of pictures I have of Benjamin and I together. Thanks to a mirror and my wonderful camera. I snapped it just one week after leaving my ex-husband. Benjamin was just 4 months old (isn’t he a cutie!!!). Anyway, to date I have had only a few taken of us together by an outside party.

The holidays are here and I’m actually hoping someone will snap a few pictures of us together.

Just wondering what other single moms do. I could hire a professional photographer. I could ask my friend to take pictures of us every time they come over. Which they would – I guess I just forget to ask. I don’t think about it every day and now two years later I’m like – oh crap – no pictures of us together. That sucks. Same with all of my video of Benjamin – it’s all of him and my voice behind the camera.

Merry Christmas or Holidays by the way…might not get to write again for a few days. Just remember to get lots of group shots at your family gatherings.
BenandMama

This is one of a handful of pictures I have of Benjamin and I together. Thanks to a mirror and my wonderful camera. I snapped it just one week after leaving my ex-husband. Benjamin was just 4 months old (isn’t he a cutie!!!). Anyway, to date I have had only a few taken of us together by an outside party.

The holidays are here and I’m actually hoping someone will snap a few pictures of us together.

Just wondering what other single moms do. I could hire a professional photographer. I could ask my friend to take pictures of us every time they come over. Which they would – I guess I just forget to ask. I don’t think about it every day and now two years later I’m like – oh crap – no pictures of us together. That sucks. Same with all of my video of Benjamin – it’s all of him and my voice behind the camera.

Merry Christmas or Holidays by the way…might not get to write again for a few days. Just remember to get lots of group shots at your family gatherings.
Yesterday morning I woke up still in a fabulous mood after an amazing night with Kris. We hadn’t had one like that in a while. I have been stressing out about our relationship and my fears have been controlling my emotions, the way I’ve been treating him – everything for the past few weeks.

Read my eye-opening post on “Do I need therapy?”and you can see why…the perfect advice (from commenter Tim) came at the perfect time and I was able to let go of my fears for one night…and one morning…and one afternoon. And now it’s been 48 hours relatively fear free.

So yesterday morning, my new fearless self, asked Kris if he could watch Benjamin while I ran to the grocery and of course, he said yes. He suited Benjamin up and took him to the park while I had nearly one hour of stress free shopping.

Believe it or not, this was the first time I’ve asked a man in my life for help as a single mother. I know I’m not alone in this unhealthy practice of denying ourselves the time we need to be alone.

My theories on why single mothers are afraid to ask boyfriends for help:

  • We have been on our own for a while. The idea of receiving help and then possibly getting used to it and then losing it scares us to death.
  • We expect men to offer help. But in reality they may feel intimidated – after all, from their vantage point it looks like we have everything under control, and they don’t want to insult our pride.
  • We don’t want to scare them off. When we are with someone we may not want to make them feel like dating us would be “hard” or require major household duties on their part.

But we have to remind ourselves – this is our life. If they truly want to be with us it will take some extra “work” on their part. But it shouldn’t feel like work. When I got back from the grocery I thanked Kris again. He said, “No don’t worry about it – we had fun!” I grabbed Benjamin to take him up for his nap. When a friend is over I usually hurry upstairs and lay him down while they wait…but Kris sticks his head around the stairs, “can I come?”

“Sure!” Wow. Is this really happening? He comes upstairs and we all cuddle together on the big nursery chair while Benjamin falls asleep. Amazing. I think he’s falling in love with both of us. I know I’m falling in love with him…I can feel it and this time I’m not going to sabatoge our relationship because of my own fears.
BenandMama

This is one of a handful of pictures I have of Benjamin and I together. Thanks to a mirror and my wonderful camera. I snapped it just one week after leaving my ex-husband. Benjamin was just 4 months old (isn’t he a cutie!!!). Anyway, to date I have had only a few taken of us together by an outside party.

The holidays are here and I’m actually hoping someone will snap a few pictures of us together.

Just wondering what other single moms do. I could hire a professional photographer. I could ask my friend to take pictures of us every time they come over. Which they would – I guess I just forget to ask. I don’t think about it every day and now two years later I’m like – oh crap – no pictures of us together. That sucks. Same with all of my video of Benjamin – it’s all of him and my voice behind the camera.

Merry Christmas or Holidays by the way…might not get to write again for a few days. Just remember to get lots of group shots at your family gatherings.
Yesterday morning I woke up still in a fabulous mood after an amazing night with Kris. We hadn’t had one like that in a while. I have been stressing out about our relationship and my fears have been controlling my emotions, the way I’ve been treating him – everything for the past few weeks.

Read my eye-opening post on “Do I need therapy?”and you can see why…the perfect advice (from commenter Tim) came at the perfect time and I was able to let go of my fears for one night…and one morning…and one afternoon. And now it’s been 48 hours relatively fear free.

So yesterday morning, my new fearless self, asked Kris if he could watch Benjamin while I ran to the grocery and of course, he said yes. He suited Benjamin up and took him to the park while I had nearly one hour of stress free shopping.

Believe it or not, this was the first time I’ve asked a man in my life for help as a single mother. I know I’m not alone in this unhealthy practice of denying ourselves the time we need to be alone.

My theories on why single mothers are afraid to ask boyfriends for help:

  • We have been on our own for a while. The idea of receiving help and then possibly getting used to it and then losing it scares us to death.
  • We expect men to offer help. But in reality they may feel intimidated – after all, from their vantage point it looks like we have everything under control, and they don’t want to insult our pride.
  • We don’t want to scare them off. When we are with someone we may not want to make them feel like dating us would be “hard” or require major household duties on their part.

But we have to remind ourselves – this is our life. If they truly want to be with us it will take some extra “work” on their part. But it shouldn’t feel like work. When I got back from the grocery I thanked Kris again. He said, “No don’t worry about it – we had fun!” I grabbed Benjamin to take him up for his nap. When a friend is over I usually hurry upstairs and lay him down while they wait…but Kris sticks his head around the stairs, “can I come?”

“Sure!” Wow. Is this really happening? He comes upstairs and we all cuddle together on the big nursery chair while Benjamin falls asleep. Amazing. I think he’s falling in love with both of us. I know I’m falling in love with him…I can feel it and this time I’m not going to sabatoge our relationship because of my own fears.
On Christmas Eve Benjamin’s father came up to spend the day with us. In the late afternoon his girlfriend’s ex dropped off their six year old son so that my ex could take him back down south. They were meeting in the middle.

The boy was your average adorable 6 year old. When my ex was out of the room he looked up at me and said, “”if my mommy marries him, he’ll be my step-dad.” I said, “that would be nice wouldn’t it? Because he’s a fun guy.”

Then the boy said something that I’ll never forget.

“Well, not really. He doesn’t play with me enough.” My heart broke for this little guy and I said, “have you asked him to play with you more?”

“Ya,” he quipped, “I ask him all of the time but he still doesn’t do it.”

I didn’t know what to say, the kid had just summed up the problem with my marriage and the reason why I’m a single mother. I just wanted to hug him and take that hurt away. The hurt of someone who just loves their job and drugs so much more than they will ever love you.

I just wonder why a single mother would want to be with a man who doesn’t make she and her children happy? Is she really that in love with my ex…so in love with him that she can’t see that her son might not have the best in a father? Or is she just so sick and tired of being alone that she is settling with him because – he’s someone and someone is better than no one?

I’ve definitely caught myself settling before. It took me a while to realize that if a man does love you the fact that you have a child is not an issue. And when he does love you he naturally loves your children too.
BenandMama

This is one of a handful of pictures I have of Benjamin and I together. Thanks to a mirror and my wonderful camera. I snapped it just one week after leaving my ex-husband. Benjamin was just 4 months old (isn’t he a cutie!!!). Anyway, to date I have had only a few taken of us together by an outside party.

The holidays are here and I’m actually hoping someone will snap a few pictures of us together.

Just wondering what other single moms do. I could hire a professional photographer. I could ask my friend to take pictures of us every time they come over. Which they would – I guess I just forget to ask. I don’t think about it every day and now two years later I’m like – oh crap – no pictures of us together. That sucks. Same with all of my video of Benjamin – it’s all of him and my voice behind the camera.

Merry Christmas or Holidays by the way…might not get to write again for a few days. Just remember to get lots of group shots at your family gatherings.
BenandMama

This is one of a handful of pictures I have of Benjamin and I together. Thanks to a mirror and my wonderful camera. I snapped it just one week after leaving my ex-husband. Benjamin was just 4 months old (isn’t he a cutie!!!). Anyway, to date I have had only a few taken of us together by an outside party.

The holidays are here and I’m actually hoping someone will snap a few pictures of us together.

Just wondering what other single moms do. I could hire a professional photographer. I could ask my friend to take pictures of us every time they come over. Which they would – I guess I just forget to ask. I don’t think about it every day and now two years later I’m like – oh crap – no pictures of us together. That sucks. Same with all of my video of Benjamin – it’s all of him and my voice behind the camera.

Merry Christmas or Holidays by the way…might not get to write again for a few days. Just remember to get lots of group shots at your family gatherings.
Yesterday morning I woke up still in a fabulous mood after an amazing night with Kris. We hadn’t had one like that in a while. I have been stressing out about our relationship and my fears have been controlling my emotions, the way I’ve been treating him – everything for the past few weeks.

Read my eye-opening post on “Do I need therapy?”and you can see why…the perfect advice (from commenter Tim) came at the perfect time and I was able to let go of my fears for one night…and one morning…and one afternoon. And now it’s been 48 hours relatively fear free.

So yesterday morning, my new fearless self, asked Kris if he could watch Benjamin while I ran to the grocery and of course, he said yes. He suited Benjamin up and took him to the park while I had nearly one hour of stress free shopping.

Believe it or not, this was the first time I’ve asked a man in my life for help as a single mother. I know I’m not alone in this unhealthy practice of denying ourselves the time we need to be alone.

My theories on why single mothers are afraid to ask boyfriends for help:

  • We have been on our own for a while. The idea of receiving help and then possibly getting used to it and then losing it scares us to death.
  • We expect men to offer help. But in reality they may feel intimidated – after all, from their vantage point it looks like we have everything under control, and they don’t want to insult our pride.
  • We don’t want to scare them off. When we are with someone we may not want to make them feel like dating us would be “hard” or require major household duties on their part.

But we have to remind ourselves – this is our life. If they truly want to be with us it will take some extra “work” on their part. But it shouldn’t feel like work. When I got back from the grocery I thanked Kris again. He said, “No don’t worry about it – we had fun!” I grabbed Benjamin to take him up for his nap. When a friend is over I usually hurry upstairs and lay him down while they wait…but Kris sticks his head around the stairs, “can I come?”

“Sure!” Wow. Is this really happening? He comes upstairs and we all cuddle together on the big nursery chair while Benjamin falls asleep. Amazing. I think he’s falling in love with both of us. I know I’m falling in love with him…I can feel it and this time I’m not going to sabatoge our relationship because of my own fears.
BenandMama

This is one of a handful of pictures I have of Benjamin and I together. Thanks to a mirror and my wonderful camera. I snapped it just one week after leaving my ex-husband. Benjamin was just 4 months old (isn’t he a cutie!!!). Anyway, to date I have had only a few taken of us together by an outside party.

The holidays are here and I’m actually hoping someone will snap a few pictures of us together.

Just wondering what other single moms do. I could hire a professional photographer. I could ask my friend to take pictures of us every time they come over. Which they would – I guess I just forget to ask. I don’t think about it every day and now two years later I’m like – oh crap – no pictures of us together. That sucks. Same with all of my video of Benjamin – it’s all of him and my voice behind the camera.

Merry Christmas or Holidays by the way…might not get to write again for a few days. Just remember to get lots of group shots at your family gatherings.
Yesterday morning I woke up still in a fabulous mood after an amazing night with Kris. We hadn’t had one like that in a while. I have been stressing out about our relationship and my fears have been controlling my emotions, the way I’ve been treating him – everything for the past few weeks.

Read my eye-opening post on “Do I need therapy?”and you can see why…the perfect advice (from commenter Tim) came at the perfect time and I was able to let go of my fears for one night…and one morning…and one afternoon. And now it’s been 48 hours relatively fear free.

So yesterday morning, my new fearless self, asked Kris if he could watch Benjamin while I ran to the grocery and of course, he said yes. He suited Benjamin up and took him to the park while I had nearly one hour of stress free shopping.

Believe it or not, this was the first time I’ve asked a man in my life for help as a single mother. I know I’m not alone in this unhealthy practice of denying ourselves the time we need to be alone.

My theories on why single mothers are afraid to ask boyfriends for help:

  • We have been on our own for a while. The idea of receiving help and then possibly getting used to it and then losing it scares us to death.
  • We expect men to offer help. But in reality they may feel intimidated – after all, from their vantage point it looks like we have everything under control, and they don’t want to insult our pride.
  • We don’t want to scare them off. When we are with someone we may not want to make them feel like dating us would be “hard” or require major household duties on their part.

But we have to remind ourselves – this is our life. If they truly want to be with us it will take some extra “work” on their part. But it shouldn’t feel like work. When I got back from the grocery I thanked Kris again. He said, “No don’t worry about it – we had fun!” I grabbed Benjamin to take him up for his nap. When a friend is over I usually hurry upstairs and lay him down while they wait…but Kris sticks his head around the stairs, “can I come?”

“Sure!” Wow. Is this really happening? He comes upstairs and we all cuddle together on the big nursery chair while Benjamin falls asleep. Amazing. I think he’s falling in love with both of us. I know I’m falling in love with him…I can feel it and this time I’m not going to sabatoge our relationship because of my own fears.
On Christmas Eve Benjamin’s father came up to spend the day with us. In the late afternoon his girlfriend’s ex dropped off their six year old son so that my ex could take him back down south. They were meeting in the middle.

The boy was your average adorable 6 year old. When my ex was out of the room he looked up at me and said, “”if my mommy marries him, he’ll be my step-dad.” I said, “that would be nice wouldn’t it? Because he’s a fun guy.”

Then the boy said something that I’ll never forget.

“Well, not really. He doesn’t play with me enough.” My heart broke for this little guy and I said, “have you asked him to play with you more?”

“Ya,” he quipped, “I ask him all of the time but he still doesn’t do it.”

I didn’t know what to say, the kid had just summed up the problem with my marriage and the reason why I’m a single mother. I just wanted to hug him and take that hurt away. The hurt of someone who just loves their job and drugs so much more than they will ever love you.

I just wonder why a single mother would want to be with a man who doesn’t make she and her children happy? Is she really that in love with my ex…so in love with him that she can’t see that her son might not have the best in a father? Or is she just so sick and tired of being alone that she is settling with him because – he’s someone and someone is better than no one?

I’ve definitely caught myself settling before. It took me a while to realize that if a man does love you the fact that you have a child is not an issue. And when he does love you he naturally loves your children too.
BenandMama

This is one of a handful of pictures I have of Benjamin and I together. Thanks to a mirror and my wonderful camera. I snapped it just one week after leaving my ex-husband. Benjamin was just 4 months old (isn’t he a cutie!!!). Anyway, to date I have had only a few taken of us together by an outside party.

The holidays are here and I’m actually hoping someone will snap a few pictures of us together.

Just wondering what other single moms do. I could hire a professional photographer. I could ask my friend to take pictures of us every time they come over. Which they would – I guess I just forget to ask. I don’t think about it every day and now two years later I’m like – oh crap – no pictures of us together. That sucks. Same with all of my video of Benjamin – it’s all of him and my voice behind the camera.

Merry Christmas or Holidays by the way…might not get to write again for a few days. Just remember to get lots of group shots at your family gatherings.
Yesterday morning I woke up still in a fabulous mood after an amazing night with Kris. We hadn’t had one like that in a while. I have been stressing out about our relationship and my fears have been controlling my emotions, the way I’ve been treating him – everything for the past few weeks.

Read my eye-opening post on “Do I need therapy?”and you can see why…the perfect advice (from commenter Tim) came at the perfect time and I was able to let go of my fears for one night…and one morning…and one afternoon. And now it’s been 48 hours relatively fear free.

So yesterday morning, my new fearless self, asked Kris if he could watch Benjamin while I ran to the grocery and of course, he said yes. He suited Benjamin up and took him to the park while I had nearly one hour of stress free shopping.

Believe it or not, this was the first time I’ve asked a man in my life for help as a single mother. I know I’m not alone in this unhealthy practice of denying ourselves the time we need to be alone.

My theories on why single mothers are afraid to ask boyfriends for help:

  • We have been on our own for a while. The idea of receiving help and then possibly getting used to it and then losing it scares us to death.
  • We expect men to offer help. But in reality they may feel intimidated – after all, from their vantage point it looks like we have everything under control, and they don’t want to insult our pride.
  • We don’t want to scare them off. When we are with someone we may not want to make them feel like dating us would be “hard” or require major household duties on their part.

But we have to remind ourselves – this is our life. If they truly want to be with us it will take some extra “work” on their part. But it shouldn’t feel like work. When I got back from the grocery I thanked Kris again. He said, “No don’t worry about it – we had fun!” I grabbed Benjamin to take him up for his nap. When a friend is over I usually hurry upstairs and lay him down while they wait…but Kris sticks his head around the stairs, “can I come?”

“Sure!” Wow. Is this really happening? He comes upstairs and we all cuddle together on the big nursery chair while Benjamin falls asleep. Amazing. I think he’s falling in love with both of us. I know I’m falling in love with him…I can feel it and this time I’m not going to sabatoge our relationship because of my own fears.
On Christmas Eve Benjamin’s father came up to spend the day with us. In the late afternoon his girlfriend’s ex dropped off their six year old son so that my ex could take him back down south. They were meeting in the middle.

The boy was your average adorable 6 year old. When my ex was out of the room he looked up at me and said, “”if my mommy marries him, he’ll be my step-dad.” I said, “that would be nice wouldn’t it? Because he’s a fun guy.”

Then the boy said something that I’ll never forget.

“Well, not really. He doesn’t play with me enough.” My heart broke for this little guy and I said, “have you asked him to play with you more?”

“Ya,” he quipped, “I ask him all of the time but he still doesn’t do it.”

I didn’t know what to say, the kid had just summed up the problem with my marriage and the reason why I’m a single mother. I just wanted to hug him and take that hurt away. The hurt of someone who just loves their job and drugs so much more than they will ever love you.

I just wonder why a single mother would want to be with a man who doesn’t make she and her children happy? Is she really that in love with my ex…so in love with him that she can’t see that her son might not have the best in a father? Or is she just so sick and tired of being alone that she is settling with him because – he’s someone and someone is better than no one?

I’ve definitely caught myself settling before. It took me a while to realize that if a man does love you the fact that you have a child is not an issue. And when he does love you he naturally loves your children too.
After nearly two years my son’s father has taken him for his 36 hours of visitation. (Usually he watches him at my place) Right now there’s a pit in my stomach. Not of fear. I know he will take care of him…he is after all a good father and he does love his son more than anything. It’s something else. This just isn’t natural. Sharing a child with an ex spouse. I’m a child sharing rookie, this being my first time with him out of my sight for over 24 hours.

My mix of emotions are as follows:

  • Wow…I have 36 hours to myself, I’m not working so that means just play…and it’s New Years Eve!
  • Where is he going? I don’t even know. I’ve never met my ex’s girlfriend. I’ve never seen their house. I’m just a little bit uncomfortable with this, but I do trust my ex.
  • Will he be okay without me? Yes. It might be hard around bedtime but he’ll have a fun day. He’s a happy, independent kid.
  • Will I be okay without him? Will I be able to have fun tonight? Or will I be worried sick?

I imagine since so many parents in this country have shared custody of their child that it does get easier….but what about the children? Do they ever really adjust to this? I don’t think people ever get married and have babies with the intention of splitting. I know I didn’t. It was a whirlwind, green card wedding but we were in love. I thought with every inch of my body that it would be forever. But my dream came crashing down around me when I realized that we were completely incompatible.

Well…I’ll keep you posted. I’m going to spend the day out and about with my best friend shopping. Then the evening out at a cocktail party and then dancing with my amazing boyfriend. This won’t be that bad…and Benjamin will get a serious dose of daddy time which has been well over due.

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Sharon December 31, 2007 at 9:51 pm

It is interesting what you put and I feel for you. I do not know how your situation feels, but I can imagine it is rough. Please remember to write about how it goes.

Reply

Hanie December 31, 2007 at 10:34 pm

Well, all I can say is, have a blast of time! Benjamin will be ok with his dad I am sure. Maybe this is normal for a first time-out.

Happy New Year! H

Reply

mssinglemama January 1, 2008 at 4:44 am

Thanks so much! So far so good…all though I wore myself out with shopping. Now I’m going to try to sleep it off before the parties start! I’ll definitely keep everyone posted.

Reply

Woman With Kids January 4, 2008 at 7:13 am

I’ve been in your shoes… the first times without the kiddos are so hard, and it’s perfectly normal to feel both awful and happy. Everyone needs a break.

It used to help me to think of it as time to relax and refresh, so that I would be at my best when the boys came home. And I would shop.

It does get easier. The ex, his wife and I are friends, it’s easier to let the boys go. It will get easier over time.

Reply

Woman With Kids January 4, 2008 at 7:14 am

Um, same thing I said above, but I don’t think I put the right website in… Hopefully it’s not porn or anything!

Reply

Sparkle April 16, 2012 at 12:47 am

Yes, I also felt mixed feelings about letting my kids out of my sight for 24 hours or more. Not that I was worried about their safety (their dad seems to have now have been hit with symptoms of a real father ever since he got served), I was more concerned for them and about what they think of the back and forth (ages 10,4,2). Granted I have had them 85+ percent of the time over the past 6 months, and a break was definitely due, but you start to get your single parent routine down & BAM! Something changes and you wonder how the kids will be able to handle it. (LOL the worry is never ending)

Also yes, I was head over heels for this man until I started to catch on little by little after the infatuation stage disappeared, 3 babies later & 15 years that we were NOT compatible (and when you begin at 12 you probably can’t even spell compatible- enough said). By the time it really hit home there was so much damage done on both sides, irreparable. Best tip from me? Don’t sign up for a long term thing when you’ve barely hit puberty. This is in my humble opinion.

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Victor February 4, 2015 at 7:20 am

You are already mesisng around with him you might as well see what can come of it. The best relationships are one where your boyfriend ends up being your best friend as well as your lover. So it might end up being something great. Give it a shot if you feelings for him.

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