On Christmas Eve Benjamin’s father came up to spend the day with us. In the late afternoon his girlfriend’s ex dropped off their six year old son so that my ex could take him back down south. They were meeting in the middle.
The boy was your average adorable 6 year old. When my ex was out of the room he looked up at me and said, “”if my mommy marries him, he’ll be my step-dad.” I said, “that would be nice wouldn’t it? Because he’s a fun guy.”
Then the boy said something that I’ll never forget.
“Well, not really. He doesn’t play with me enough.” My heart broke for this little guy and I said, “have you asked him to play with you more?”
“Ya,” he quipped, “I ask him all of the time but he still doesn’t do it.”
I didn’t know what to say, the kid had just summed up the problem with my marriage and the reason why I’m a single mother. I just wanted to hug him and take that hurt away. The hurt of someone who just loves their job and drugs so much more than they will ever love you.
I just wonder why a single mother would want to be with a man who doesn’t make she and her children happy? Is she really that in love with my ex…so in love with him that she can’t see that her son might not have the best in a father? Or is she just so sick and tired of being alone that she is settling with him because – he’s someone and someone is better than no one?
I’ve definitely caught myself settling before. It took me a while to realize that if a man does love you the fact that you have a child is not an issue. And when he does love you he naturally loves your children too.
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
LOS ANGELES — A judge awarded more than $3 million to a woman for her former husband’s alleged failure to pay spousal and child support since 1987 — one of the largest such awards in recent years, an attorney said Tuesday.
Judy Lorden’s divorce from Richard Lorden was entered into in California. Richard Lorden, a successful businessman, has lived for years in Mexico City under the name of Ricardo Lorden Brenzel, according to her lawyer, Jose Mariano Castillo.
In the May 1987 divorce settlement, Judy Lorden was awarded $5,000 per month for spousal support and $3,000 per month for child support. Richard Lorden was to pay child support until their son Brian, born in 1983, reached age 18.
According to Castillo, Richard Lorden “never paid a cent of spousal and child support in 20 years, hiding behind the complexities of international law. This is a prime example of a multimillionaire avoiding legally awarded support by ignoring American law. Fortunately, cooperation between U.S. and Mexican authorities is likely to bring this travesty of justice to an end.”
A Superior Court summary of the case did not list an attorney or representative for Richard Lorden.
In writing to her counterpart in the Mexican Superior Court, Los Angeles Superior Court Commissioner Maren Nelson concluded last August that Richard Lorden “has failed, refused and continues to refuse to make any payments to Judy Lorden for child support and for spousal support …”
Nelson said the judgment with interest had reached $3.94 million. On Feb. 19, she ruled that Richard Lorden was legally served and must appear and plead guilty or not guilty on the charge of criminal contempt on March 19.
If he does not show up, Richard Lorden can be arrested, Nelson said.
According to The Financial, a leading business publication in Mexico City, Richard Lorden is a prosperous businessman with close ties to the governor of Puebla, Mario Marin Torres.
He also is head of the Mexican division of Phoenix Motor Cars, a recently launched electric vehicle manufacturer, and a director of ETI, Environmental Tel International, under the name of Ricardo Lorden Jr., according to The Financial.
Under the Inter-American Convention, according to Castillo, residents of one country can be served legal papers in another. Castillo said he went to the U.S. Justice Department and Mexico’s Minister of Foreign Affairs before receiving legal authorization to present papers to Richard Lorden, who was finally served in December with orders to come to Los Angeles.