Do I need therapy?

by mssinglemama on December 21, 2007

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

  • You get fun packages in the mail
  • Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
  • Shipping is practically free on most sites
  • No impulse buys
  • I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
  • I think much longer before making a purchase
  • I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

  • You get fun packages in the mail
  • Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
  • Shipping is practically free on most sites
  • No impulse buys
  • I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
  • I think much longer before making a purchase
  • I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

  • You get fun packages in the mail
  • Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
  • Shipping is practically free on most sites
  • No impulse buys
  • I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
  • I think much longer before making a purchase
  • I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.
When I told my now ex-husband I was leaving him the first thing he argued about was the laptop computer. Then the video camera. Anything of monetary value. But, not once, not once did he fight for our son. I wanted him to. It got to the point that his complete apathy to the issue was actually a little shocking. Why wasn’t he worried about not seeing Benjamin? It’s been two years. Since then he has come only during his 36 hours of visitation. No more, no less. And he has always come to us – staying in our house. Because his living pattern since I left him has been as follows:

Our old apartment (evicted)

His new apartment (evicted)

His boss’ basement

His girlfriend’s place (with her 5 year old son, yes she’s a single mom)

Now that he’s been with his girlfriend for a while he has as he says, “a new family” and wants Benjamin to be a part of it. So…for the first time he want to take Benjamin during his 36 hours. Up until now he’s always stayed with us because of his scattered living pattern.

Here’s the thing – the reason why I’m totally freaked out about this. And, believe me, I always try not to be judgmental. But … here are the stats on his girlfriend.

She’s an ex-stripper.

She works at Taco Bell.

She lives in a trailer.

Her parents live behind the trailer.

Her brother lives behind theirs.

Before my Ex told her not to she used to smoke with her son in her lap!

Okay…am I crazy to want to at least see the place? Am I crazy to be freaking out about this? I haven’t spent 36 hours away from Benjamin since he was born. Not once. I don’t want to be away from him.

I know this will be great for him and for his father – for them to get some quality time together, but why does it have to be in a place I’ve never seen? I’ve asked the Ex if I can see the house – he says no. But…we’ve been talking about it and trying to work out a compromise. I just know that when he takes Benjamin there he’s going to miss me and miss being home.

I’m crossing my fingers that this won’t become a regular weekly thing. That he will just take him every once in a while. And perhaps the biggest concern is that his car is completely unreliable. It’s an $800 Chevy that’s already broken down several times.

Oh – and along with the news that the Ex has decided to take Benjamin on his days- he also told me he’s filed for bankruptcy and is therefore excused of all of the credit card debt he owes me. Wonderful.

Sorry this is a quick entry (again) I have been super, super busy. Expect many updates this weekend.
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

  • You get fun packages in the mail
  • Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
  • Shipping is practically free on most sites
  • No impulse buys
  • I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
  • I think much longer before making a purchase
  • I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

  • You get fun packages in the mail
  • Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
  • Shipping is practically free on most sites
  • No impulse buys
  • I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
  • I think much longer before making a purchase
  • I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.
When I told my now ex-husband I was leaving him the first thing he argued about was the laptop computer. Then the video camera. Anything of monetary value. But, not once, not once did he fight for our son. I wanted him to. It got to the point that his complete apathy to the issue was actually a little shocking. Why wasn’t he worried about not seeing Benjamin? It’s been two years. Since then he has come only during his 36 hours of visitation. No more, no less. And he has always come to us – staying in our house. Because his living pattern since I left him has been as follows:

Our old apartment (evicted)

His new apartment (evicted)

His boss’ basement

His girlfriend’s place (with her 5 year old son, yes she’s a single mom)

Now that he’s been with his girlfriend for a while he has as he says, “a new family” and wants Benjamin to be a part of it. So…for the first time he want to take Benjamin during his 36 hours. Up until now he’s always stayed with us because of his scattered living pattern.

Here’s the thing – the reason why I’m totally freaked out about this. And, believe me, I always try not to be judgmental. But … here are the stats on his girlfriend.

She’s an ex-stripper.

She works at Taco Bell.

She lives in a trailer.

Her parents live behind the trailer.

Her brother lives behind theirs.

Before my Ex told her not to she used to smoke with her son in her lap!

Okay…am I crazy to want to at least see the place? Am I crazy to be freaking out about this? I haven’t spent 36 hours away from Benjamin since he was born. Not once. I don’t want to be away from him.

I know this will be great for him and for his father – for them to get some quality time together, but why does it have to be in a place I’ve never seen? I’ve asked the Ex if I can see the house – he says no. But…we’ve been talking about it and trying to work out a compromise. I just know that when he takes Benjamin there he’s going to miss me and miss being home.

I’m crossing my fingers that this won’t become a regular weekly thing. That he will just take him every once in a while. And perhaps the biggest concern is that his car is completely unreliable. It’s an $800 Chevy that’s already broken down several times.

Oh – and along with the news that the Ex has decided to take Benjamin on his days- he also told me he’s filed for bankruptcy and is therefore excused of all of the credit card debt he owes me. Wonderful.

Sorry this is a quick entry (again) I have been super, super busy. Expect many updates this weekend.
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

  • You get fun packages in the mail
  • Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
  • Shipping is practically free on most sites
  • No impulse buys
  • I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
  • I think much longer before making a purchase
  • I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.
When I told my now ex-husband I was leaving him the first thing he argued about was the laptop computer. Then the video camera. Anything of monetary value. But, not once, not once did he fight for our son. I wanted him to. It got to the point that his complete apathy to the issue was actually a little shocking. Why wasn’t he worried about not seeing Benjamin? It’s been two years. Since then he has come only during his 36 hours of visitation. No more, no less. And he has always come to us – staying in our house. Because his living pattern since I left him has been as follows:

Our old apartment (evicted)

His new apartment (evicted)

His boss’ basement

His girlfriend’s place (with her 5 year old son, yes she’s a single mom)

Now that he’s been with his girlfriend for a while he has as he says, “a new family” and wants Benjamin to be a part of it. So…for the first time he want to take Benjamin during his 36 hours. Up until now he’s always stayed with us because of his scattered living pattern.

Here’s the thing – the reason why I’m totally freaked out about this. And, believe me, I always try not to be judgmental. But … here are the stats on his girlfriend.

She’s an ex-stripper.

She works at Taco Bell.

She lives in a trailer.

Her parents live behind the trailer.

Her brother lives behind theirs.

Before my Ex told her not to she used to smoke with her son in her lap!

Okay…am I crazy to want to at least see the place? Am I crazy to be freaking out about this? I haven’t spent 36 hours away from Benjamin since he was born. Not once. I don’t want to be away from him.

I know this will be great for him and for his father – for them to get some quality time together, but why does it have to be in a place I’ve never seen? I’ve asked the Ex if I can see the house – he says no. But…we’ve been talking about it and trying to work out a compromise. I just know that when he takes Benjamin there he’s going to miss me and miss being home.

I’m crossing my fingers that this won’t become a regular weekly thing. That he will just take him every once in a while. And perhaps the biggest concern is that his car is completely unreliable. It’s an $800 Chevy that’s already broken down several times.

Oh – and along with the news that the Ex has decided to take Benjamin on his days- he also told me he’s filed for bankruptcy and is therefore excused of all of the credit card debt he owes me. Wonderful.

Sorry this is a quick entry (again) I have been super, super busy. Expect many updates this weekend.
Five months after leaving my husband and before the divorce was even final I started dating again.

And now one year later I’m embarking on my first relationship post-divorce. Yes, it’s been one year of dating. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but minus a few bumps and bruises along the way it has been quite an adventure and what a prize at the end!

The most important lesson I can pass on to other dating single mamas is:

  • You will inevitably kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. But to really appreciate your prince you have to have kissed those frogs. You’re not going to find him right away. Until then…try to just relax and have fun.

When I left my husband I moved in with my mother…to my hometown – a small bustling university town in the middle of nowhere. As far as men were concerned the pickings were slim. They were either university professors (always married), college students or small town professionals. From now on I would be a completely open-minded dater. And date I did.

The Rebound

My first single mom fling was with a friend. We would spend two or three nights a week together… watching movies, talking, playing with baby Benjamin and just enjoying each other’s company. But he was much older than me…11 years older. And he really wasn’t my type. A biker. A biker who lived in the woods, completely alone wtih his seven dogs. I knew there was no chance this could ever turn into a serious relationship. But I had to get back out there and why not with a friend? He was also just what the doctor ordered – a tough, strong man who hated jerks like my ex-husband. That was sexy.

One night we were sitting on the couch and started cuddling. I could tell he wanted to kiss me and I kept dodging his lean-ins. Then I thought to myself, “I have to do this, I have to kiss this man, I have to move on.” And so I did. It was amazing. Such a release to just be with someone else and to realize that I still knew how to kiss. We dated for about a month and a half. In the end it just fizzled out, as all rebounds do. The fireworks were gone and we both moved on. This particular man, is a prince, just not my prince.

Let the dating begin…

With my first single mama fling over with I was ready to jump back in the saddle and go out on real “dates”…or so I thought. I was pushing it before I was really ready. I just wanted it to end. I wanted to find him…so desperately. Too desperately. If I saw a man who was even slightly attractive I’d look for a ring – it seemed like they all had one. Why was everyone married but me? Why was I alone? What on earth had I done to deserve this?

I’m sure the men could sense my desperation. They could probably smell it from a mile away. And when the town is only six miles wide that’s a problem.

Beam me up, Scottie!

After too many bad dates and heartaches I decided I’d outgrown the small town men. I had recently been rejected again over e-mail… so I sent an e-mail of my own – to a headhunter. Miraculously – he had an opening for me and three weeks later I was back in the city where single, young happy men were everywhere.

Unfortunately the city men were just as messed up as the small town guys. One had a major porn addiction and couldn’t even – you know – with me. I met the other one through a friend and then spotted him on Match.com – and active while we were dating and sleeping together.

My friends didn’t seem to think this was a big deal – “did you ask him if you were exclusive?”

“No!” I belted, “Was I supposed to?”

“Hell yes. This is the city – remember? No one is exclusive until you talk about it. And you can’t call him so often.”

The rules. All of these rules. That was one nice thing about the small town the rules didn’t seem so tough. You either liked each other or you didn’t – or you were just extremely messed up in the head. But games like this were beyond me.

I was hurt. I was tired of it. Two little mini-relationships were enough and then I resolved to just be single forever…well, not forever, but I realized that being single really wasn’t that bad. I was happy. I was content. And that’s when I met Kris.

He calls me all of the time. He answers when I call. Okay, these are the basics but when you’re dating they become variables. He actually watches Benjamin so I can go out with the girls or go shopping. He makes me laugh – A LOT. He is so attentive to my moods and respectful of my work load and life load. He asks about Benjamin. He cares about us both. And he’s young… oh, and sexy. God is he sexy. I’ll have to commit an entire entry to this young guy thing because I completely recommend it.

The bottom line – while you’re a dating single mom – be patient, have fun, and then enjoy your prince…he’s on his way. Don’t worry. Just get rid of the frogs when one plops on your door step – don’t waste your time. As soon as it gets annoying or stressful toss him out with the dirty bath water.

UPDATE:

Kris and I dated for 6-months and thoroughly enjoyed each other the entire time. He will always be a really good friend of mine. So now I’m dating again… looking again for that elusive prince and trying to remind myself that one may exist.

Related posts you may like:

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

  • You get fun packages in the mail
  • Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
  • Shipping is practically free on most sites
  • No impulse buys
  • I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
  • I think much longer before making a purchase
  • I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

  • You get fun packages in the mail
  • Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
  • Shipping is practically free on most sites
  • No impulse buys
  • I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
  • I think much longer before making a purchase
  • I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.
When I told my now ex-husband I was leaving him the first thing he argued about was the laptop computer. Then the video camera. Anything of monetary value. But, not once, not once did he fight for our son. I wanted him to. It got to the point that his complete apathy to the issue was actually a little shocking. Why wasn’t he worried about not seeing Benjamin? It’s been two years. Since then he has come only during his 36 hours of visitation. No more, no less. And he has always come to us – staying in our house. Because his living pattern since I left him has been as follows:

Our old apartment (evicted)

His new apartment (evicted)

His boss’ basement

His girlfriend’s place (with her 5 year old son, yes she’s a single mom)

Now that he’s been with his girlfriend for a while he has as he says, “a new family” and wants Benjamin to be a part of it. So…for the first time he want to take Benjamin during his 36 hours. Up until now he’s always stayed with us because of his scattered living pattern.

Here’s the thing – the reason why I’m totally freaked out about this. And, believe me, I always try not to be judgmental. But … here are the stats on his girlfriend.

She’s an ex-stripper.

She works at Taco Bell.

She lives in a trailer.

Her parents live behind the trailer.

Her brother lives behind theirs.

Before my Ex told her not to she used to smoke with her son in her lap!

Okay…am I crazy to want to at least see the place? Am I crazy to be freaking out about this? I haven’t spent 36 hours away from Benjamin since he was born. Not once. I don’t want to be away from him.

I know this will be great for him and for his father – for them to get some quality time together, but why does it have to be in a place I’ve never seen? I’ve asked the Ex if I can see the house – he says no. But…we’ve been talking about it and trying to work out a compromise. I just know that when he takes Benjamin there he’s going to miss me and miss being home.

I’m crossing my fingers that this won’t become a regular weekly thing. That he will just take him every once in a while. And perhaps the biggest concern is that his car is completely unreliable. It’s an $800 Chevy that’s already broken down several times.

Oh – and along with the news that the Ex has decided to take Benjamin on his days- he also told me he’s filed for bankruptcy and is therefore excused of all of the credit card debt he owes me. Wonderful.

Sorry this is a quick entry (again) I have been super, super busy. Expect many updates this weekend.
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

  • You get fun packages in the mail
  • Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
  • Shipping is practically free on most sites
  • No impulse buys
  • I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
  • I think much longer before making a purchase
  • I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.
When I told my now ex-husband I was leaving him the first thing he argued about was the laptop computer. Then the video camera. Anything of monetary value. But, not once, not once did he fight for our son. I wanted him to. It got to the point that his complete apathy to the issue was actually a little shocking. Why wasn’t he worried about not seeing Benjamin? It’s been two years. Since then he has come only during his 36 hours of visitation. No more, no less. And he has always come to us – staying in our house. Because his living pattern since I left him has been as follows:

Our old apartment (evicted)

His new apartment (evicted)

His boss’ basement

His girlfriend’s place (with her 5 year old son, yes she’s a single mom)

Now that he’s been with his girlfriend for a while he has as he says, “a new family” and wants Benjamin to be a part of it. So…for the first time he want to take Benjamin during his 36 hours. Up until now he’s always stayed with us because of his scattered living pattern.

Here’s the thing – the reason why I’m totally freaked out about this. And, believe me, I always try not to be judgmental. But … here are the stats on his girlfriend.

She’s an ex-stripper.

She works at Taco Bell.

She lives in a trailer.

Her parents live behind the trailer.

Her brother lives behind theirs.

Before my Ex told her not to she used to smoke with her son in her lap!

Okay…am I crazy to want to at least see the place? Am I crazy to be freaking out about this? I haven’t spent 36 hours away from Benjamin since he was born. Not once. I don’t want to be away from him.

I know this will be great for him and for his father – for them to get some quality time together, but why does it have to be in a place I’ve never seen? I’ve asked the Ex if I can see the house – he says no. But…we’ve been talking about it and trying to work out a compromise. I just know that when he takes Benjamin there he’s going to miss me and miss being home.

I’m crossing my fingers that this won’t become a regular weekly thing. That he will just take him every once in a while. And perhaps the biggest concern is that his car is completely unreliable. It’s an $800 Chevy that’s already broken down several times.

Oh – and along with the news that the Ex has decided to take Benjamin on his days- he also told me he’s filed for bankruptcy and is therefore excused of all of the credit card debt he owes me. Wonderful.

Sorry this is a quick entry (again) I have been super, super busy. Expect many updates this weekend.
Five months after leaving my husband and before the divorce was even final I started dating again.

And now one year later I’m embarking on my first relationship post-divorce. Yes, it’s been one year of dating. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but minus a few bumps and bruises along the way it has been quite an adventure and what a prize at the end!

The most important lesson I can pass on to other dating single mamas is:

  • You will inevitably kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. But to really appreciate your prince you have to have kissed those frogs. You’re not going to find him right away. Until then…try to just relax and have fun.

When I left my husband I moved in with my mother…to my hometown – a small bustling university town in the middle of nowhere. As far as men were concerned the pickings were slim. They were either university professors (always married), college students or small town professionals. From now on I would be a completely open-minded dater. And date I did.

The Rebound

My first single mom fling was with a friend. We would spend two or three nights a week together… watching movies, talking, playing with baby Benjamin and just enjoying each other’s company. But he was much older than me…11 years older. And he really wasn’t my type. A biker. A biker who lived in the woods, completely alone wtih his seven dogs. I knew there was no chance this could ever turn into a serious relationship. But I had to get back out there and why not with a friend? He was also just what the doctor ordered – a tough, strong man who hated jerks like my ex-husband. That was sexy.

One night we were sitting on the couch and started cuddling. I could tell he wanted to kiss me and I kept dodging his lean-ins. Then I thought to myself, “I have to do this, I have to kiss this man, I have to move on.” And so I did. It was amazing. Such a release to just be with someone else and to realize that I still knew how to kiss. We dated for about a month and a half. In the end it just fizzled out, as all rebounds do. The fireworks were gone and we both moved on. This particular man, is a prince, just not my prince.

Let the dating begin…

With my first single mama fling over with I was ready to jump back in the saddle and go out on real “dates”…or so I thought. I was pushing it before I was really ready. I just wanted it to end. I wanted to find him…so desperately. Too desperately. If I saw a man who was even slightly attractive I’d look for a ring – it seemed like they all had one. Why was everyone married but me? Why was I alone? What on earth had I done to deserve this?

I’m sure the men could sense my desperation. They could probably smell it from a mile away. And when the town is only six miles wide that’s a problem.

Beam me up, Scottie!

After too many bad dates and heartaches I decided I’d outgrown the small town men. I had recently been rejected again over e-mail… so I sent an e-mail of my own – to a headhunter. Miraculously – he had an opening for me and three weeks later I was back in the city where single, young happy men were everywhere.

Unfortunately the city men were just as messed up as the small town guys. One had a major porn addiction and couldn’t even – you know – with me. I met the other one through a friend and then spotted him on Match.com – and active while we were dating and sleeping together.

My friends didn’t seem to think this was a big deal – “did you ask him if you were exclusive?”

“No!” I belted, “Was I supposed to?”

“Hell yes. This is the city – remember? No one is exclusive until you talk about it. And you can’t call him so often.”

The rules. All of these rules. That was one nice thing about the small town the rules didn’t seem so tough. You either liked each other or you didn’t – or you were just extremely messed up in the head. But games like this were beyond me.

I was hurt. I was tired of it. Two little mini-relationships were enough and then I resolved to just be single forever…well, not forever, but I realized that being single really wasn’t that bad. I was happy. I was content. And that’s when I met Kris.

He calls me all of the time. He answers when I call. Okay, these are the basics but when you’re dating they become variables. He actually watches Benjamin so I can go out with the girls or go shopping. He makes me laugh – A LOT. He is so attentive to my moods and respectful of my work load and life load. He asks about Benjamin. He cares about us both. And he’s young… oh, and sexy. God is he sexy. I’ll have to commit an entire entry to this young guy thing because I completely recommend it.

The bottom line – while you’re a dating single mom – be patient, have fun, and then enjoy your prince…he’s on his way. Don’t worry. Just get rid of the frogs when one plops on your door step – don’t waste your time. As soon as it gets annoying or stressful toss him out with the dirty bath water.

UPDATE:

Kris and I dated for 6-months and thoroughly enjoyed each other the entire time. He will always be a really good friend of mine. So now I’m dating again… looking again for that elusive prince and trying to remind myself that one may exist.

Related posts you may like:

Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

  • You get fun packages in the mail
  • Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
  • Shipping is practically free on most sites
  • No impulse buys
  • I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
  • I think much longer before making a purchase
  • I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.
When I told my now ex-husband I was leaving him the first thing he argued about was the laptop computer. Then the video camera. Anything of monetary value. But, not once, not once did he fight for our son. I wanted him to. It got to the point that his complete apathy to the issue was actually a little shocking. Why wasn’t he worried about not seeing Benjamin? It’s been two years. Since then he has come only during his 36 hours of visitation. No more, no less. And he has always come to us – staying in our house. Because his living pattern since I left him has been as follows:

Our old apartment (evicted)

His new apartment (evicted)

His boss’ basement

His girlfriend’s place (with her 5 year old son, yes she’s a single mom)

Now that he’s been with his girlfriend for a while he has as he says, “a new family” and wants Benjamin to be a part of it. So…for the first time he want to take Benjamin during his 36 hours. Up until now he’s always stayed with us because of his scattered living pattern.

Here’s the thing – the reason why I’m totally freaked out about this. And, believe me, I always try not to be judgmental. But … here are the stats on his girlfriend.

She’s an ex-stripper.

She works at Taco Bell.

She lives in a trailer.

Her parents live behind the trailer.

Her brother lives behind theirs.

Before my Ex told her not to she used to smoke with her son in her lap!

Okay…am I crazy to want to at least see the place? Am I crazy to be freaking out about this? I haven’t spent 36 hours away from Benjamin since he was born. Not once. I don’t want to be away from him.

I know this will be great for him and for his father – for them to get some quality time together, but why does it have to be in a place I’ve never seen? I’ve asked the Ex if I can see the house – he says no. But…we’ve been talking about it and trying to work out a compromise. I just know that when he takes Benjamin there he’s going to miss me and miss being home.

I’m crossing my fingers that this won’t become a regular weekly thing. That he will just take him every once in a while. And perhaps the biggest concern is that his car is completely unreliable. It’s an $800 Chevy that’s already broken down several times.

Oh – and along with the news that the Ex has decided to take Benjamin on his days- he also told me he’s filed for bankruptcy and is therefore excused of all of the credit card debt he owes me. Wonderful.

Sorry this is a quick entry (again) I have been super, super busy. Expect many updates this weekend.
Five months after leaving my husband and before the divorce was even final I started dating again.

And now one year later I’m embarking on my first relationship post-divorce. Yes, it’s been one year of dating. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but minus a few bumps and bruises along the way it has been quite an adventure and what a prize at the end!

The most important lesson I can pass on to other dating single mamas is:

  • You will inevitably kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. But to really appreciate your prince you have to have kissed those frogs. You’re not going to find him right away. Until then…try to just relax and have fun.

When I left my husband I moved in with my mother…to my hometown – a small bustling university town in the middle of nowhere. As far as men were concerned the pickings were slim. They were either university professors (always married), college students or small town professionals. From now on I would be a completely open-minded dater. And date I did.

The Rebound

My first single mom fling was with a friend. We would spend two or three nights a week together… watching movies, talking, playing with baby Benjamin and just enjoying each other’s company. But he was much older than me…11 years older. And he really wasn’t my type. A biker. A biker who lived in the woods, completely alone wtih his seven dogs. I knew there was no chance this could ever turn into a serious relationship. But I had to get back out there and why not with a friend? He was also just what the doctor ordered – a tough, strong man who hated jerks like my ex-husband. That was sexy.

One night we were sitting on the couch and started cuddling. I could tell he wanted to kiss me and I kept dodging his lean-ins. Then I thought to myself, “I have to do this, I have to kiss this man, I have to move on.” And so I did. It was amazing. Such a release to just be with someone else and to realize that I still knew how to kiss. We dated for about a month and a half. In the end it just fizzled out, as all rebounds do. The fireworks were gone and we both moved on. This particular man, is a prince, just not my prince.

Let the dating begin…

With my first single mama fling over with I was ready to jump back in the saddle and go out on real “dates”…or so I thought. I was pushing it before I was really ready. I just wanted it to end. I wanted to find him…so desperately. Too desperately. If I saw a man who was even slightly attractive I’d look for a ring – it seemed like they all had one. Why was everyone married but me? Why was I alone? What on earth had I done to deserve this?

I’m sure the men could sense my desperation. They could probably smell it from a mile away. And when the town is only six miles wide that’s a problem.

Beam me up, Scottie!

After too many bad dates and heartaches I decided I’d outgrown the small town men. I had recently been rejected again over e-mail… so I sent an e-mail of my own – to a headhunter. Miraculously – he had an opening for me and three weeks later I was back in the city where single, young happy men were everywhere.

Unfortunately the city men were just as messed up as the small town guys. One had a major porn addiction and couldn’t even – you know – with me. I met the other one through a friend and then spotted him on Match.com – and active while we were dating and sleeping together.

My friends didn’t seem to think this was a big deal – “did you ask him if you were exclusive?”

“No!” I belted, “Was I supposed to?”

“Hell yes. This is the city – remember? No one is exclusive until you talk about it. And you can’t call him so often.”

The rules. All of these rules. That was one nice thing about the small town the rules didn’t seem so tough. You either liked each other or you didn’t – or you were just extremely messed up in the head. But games like this were beyond me.

I was hurt. I was tired of it. Two little mini-relationships were enough and then I resolved to just be single forever…well, not forever, but I realized that being single really wasn’t that bad. I was happy. I was content. And that’s when I met Kris.

He calls me all of the time. He answers when I call. Okay, these are the basics but when you’re dating they become variables. He actually watches Benjamin so I can go out with the girls or go shopping. He makes me laugh – A LOT. He is so attentive to my moods and respectful of my work load and life load. He asks about Benjamin. He cares about us both. And he’s young… oh, and sexy. God is he sexy. I’ll have to commit an entire entry to this young guy thing because I completely recommend it.

The bottom line – while you’re a dating single mom – be patient, have fun, and then enjoy your prince…he’s on his way. Don’t worry. Just get rid of the frogs when one plops on your door step – don’t waste your time. As soon as it gets annoying or stressful toss him out with the dirty bath water.

UPDATE:

Kris and I dated for 6-months and thoroughly enjoyed each other the entire time. He will always be a really good friend of mine. So now I’m dating again… looking again for that elusive prince and trying to remind myself that one may exist.

Related posts you may like:

Five months after leaving my husband and before the divorce was even final I started dating again. And now one year later I’m embarking on my first relationship post-divorce. Yes, it’s been one year of dating. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but minus a few bumps and bruises along the way it has been quite an adventure and what a prize at the end!

The most important lesson I can pass on to other dating single mamas is:

  • You will inevitably kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. But to really appreciate your prince you have to have kissed those frogs. You’re not going to find him right away. Until then…try to just relax and have fun.

When I left my husband I moved in with my mother…to my hometown – a small bustling university town in the middle of nowhere. As far as men were concerned the pickings were slim. They were either university professors (always married), college students or small town professionals. And with a population of just over 6,000 I decided, or was forced, to throw all of my standards out the window. From here on out I would date people based on who they were inside, how they treated me and how they were living their lives. Makes sense but keep in mind I’m a fairly attractive 28 year old city girl. I had standards. But clearly they had done me no good – so I tossed them. From now on I would be a completely open-minded dater. And date I did.

The Rebound

My first single mama fling was with a friend. A man who I was spending two to three nights a week with. We would watch movies, talk, play with Benjamin and just enjoy each other’s company. But he was much older than me…11 years older. And he really wasn’t my type. A biker. A biker who lived in the woods, completely alone wtih his seven dogs. Yes, seven. I knew there was no chance this could ever turn into a serious relationship. But I had to get back out there and why not with a friend? With someone I trusted? He was tough, strong and hated jerks like my ex-husband who couldn’t be man enough to stand up to the responsibilities life throws at you. That was sexy.

It had been five months since leaving my husband and I was still scared of getting back out there. The idea of even kissing another man made me a little queasy. And I actually wasn’t even really attracted to him. But I refused to let looks sway me. I had to be open minded.

One night we were sitting on the couch and started cuddling. I could tell he wanted to kiss me and I kept dodging his lean ins. Then I thought to myself, “I have to do this, I have to kiss this man, I have to move on.” And so I did. It was amazing. Such a release to just be with someone else and to realize that I still knew how to kiss. We dated for about a month and a half. In the end it just fizzled out, as all rebounds do. The fireworks were gone and we both moved on. This particular man, is a prince, just not my prince.

Let the dating begin…

With my first single mama fling over with I was ready to jump back in the saddle and go out on real “dates”…or so I thought. I was pushing it before I was really ready. I just wanted it to end. I wanted to find him…so desperately. Too desperately. If I saw a man who was even slightly attractive I’d look for a ring – it seemed like they all had one. Why was everyone married but me? Why was I alone? What on earth had I done to deserve this?

See? Not a great state of mind to date in – but, thanks to Benjamin I was still level headed about it and wasn’t so desperate that I’d just be with anyone. But I’m still sure the men could sense my desperation. They could probably smell it from a mile away. And when the town is only six miles wide that’s a problem.

I actually had a huge crush on the only eligible bachelor in town. We had to work together occasionally and would flirt during meetings and over e-mails. Then, one night, I ran into him in a bar. “When are you going to kiss me?” I asked. “Because this is just a little bit ridiculous.” Five minutes later he grabbed my face and kissed me. It was so exciting. I had never had a crush like this before and thought – wow – this means we’re going to date – right? No. The next morning I get an e-mail – he couldn’t commit to anyone right now – couldn’t even have fun with anyone right now because he was just too messed up about women. I was devastated. I had put all of my eggs in one basket for months. Not good. But I was stuck in this damn small town.

So I venture online. After a few months of e-mailing a teacher on MySpace who lived 30 minutes away we meet in the middle for a blind date. It was an amazing date. He made me laugh, we talked and talked. He kissed me good night. I was on cloud nine. I seriously thought there was some major chemistry there. He called me the next day. I missed the call but called him right back and left a message. He never called me back. Four days later I got an e-mail…”I told you I wasn’t very religious, but I am, I actually believe I have a personal relationship with God.” Great. Just great. Why couldn’t he have told me that when we first met online? He went on to say he actually had been repenting or whatever the entire week because he kissed me, because he couldn’t resist me in my cute red dress. What a weirdo. Nice guy and once again someone else’s prince – just not mine.

Beam me up, Scottie!

This MySpace guy was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I had to get out of this crazy town with all of these older single men who had yet to commit. I had been so damn excited about that date – and then to be rejected again…over another e-mail! So I sent an e-mail of my own – to a headhunter. Miraculously – he had an opening for me and three weeks later I was back in the city where single, young happy men were everywhere.

Unfortunately the city men were just as messed up as the small town guys. One had a major porn addiction and couldn’t even – you know – with me. I met the other one through a friend and then spotted him on Match.com – and active while we were dating.

My friends didn’t seem to think this was a big deal – “did you ask him if you were exclusive?” No! I belted, was I supposed to? “Hell yes. This is the city – remember? No one is exclusive until you talk about it. And you can’t call him so often.” The rules. All of these rules. That was one nice thing about the small town the rules didn’t seem so tough. You either liked each other or you didn’t – or you were just extremely messed up in the head. But games like this were beyond me.

I was hurt. I was tired of it. Two little mini-relationships were enough and then I resolved to just be single forever…well, not forever, but I realized that being single really wasn’t that bad. I was happy. I was content. And that’s when I met Kris. He calls me all of the time. He answers when I call. Okay, these are the basics but when you’re dating they’re variables. He actually watches Benjamin so I can go out with the girls or go shopping. He makes me laugh – A LOT. He is so attentive to my moods and respectful of my work load and life load. He asks about Benjamin. He cares about us both. And he’s young… oh, and sexy. God is he sexy. I’ll have to commit an entire entry to this young guy thing because I completely recommend it. But that’s another story for another day. Can I just say…to be continued on this one?

The bottom line – while you’re a dating single mom – be patient, have fun, and then enjoy your prince…he’s on his way. Don’t worry. Just get rid of the frogs when one plops on your door step – don’t waste your time. As soon as it gets annoying or stressful toss him out with the dirty bath water.
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

  • You get fun packages in the mail
  • Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
  • Shipping is practically free on most sites
  • No impulse buys
  • I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
  • I think much longer before making a purchase
  • I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

  • You get fun packages in the mail
  • Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
  • Shipping is practically free on most sites
  • No impulse buys
  • I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
  • I think much longer before making a purchase
  • I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.
When I told my now ex-husband I was leaving him the first thing he argued about was the laptop computer. Then the video camera. Anything of monetary value. But, not once, not once did he fight for our son. I wanted him to. It got to the point that his complete apathy to the issue was actually a little shocking. Why wasn’t he worried about not seeing Benjamin? It’s been two years. Since then he has come only during his 36 hours of visitation. No more, no less. And he has always come to us – staying in our house. Because his living pattern since I left him has been as follows:

Our old apartment (evicted)

His new apartment (evicted)

His boss’ basement

His girlfriend’s place (with her 5 year old son, yes she’s a single mom)

Now that he’s been with his girlfriend for a while he has as he says, “a new family” and wants Benjamin to be a part of it. So…for the first time he want to take Benjamin during his 36 hours. Up until now he’s always stayed with us because of his scattered living pattern.

Here’s the thing – the reason why I’m totally freaked out about this. And, believe me, I always try not to be judgmental. But … here are the stats on his girlfriend.

She’s an ex-stripper.

She works at Taco Bell.

She lives in a trailer.

Her parents live behind the trailer.

Her brother lives behind theirs.

Before my Ex told her not to she used to smoke with her son in her lap!

Okay…am I crazy to want to at least see the place? Am I crazy to be freaking out about this? I haven’t spent 36 hours away from Benjamin since he was born. Not once. I don’t want to be away from him.

I know this will be great for him and for his father – for them to get some quality time together, but why does it have to be in a place I’ve never seen? I’ve asked the Ex if I can see the house – he says no. But…we’ve been talking about it and trying to work out a compromise. I just know that when he takes Benjamin there he’s going to miss me and miss being home.

I’m crossing my fingers that this won’t become a regular weekly thing. That he will just take him every once in a while. And perhaps the biggest concern is that his car is completely unreliable. It’s an $800 Chevy that’s already broken down several times.

Oh – and along with the news that the Ex has decided to take Benjamin on his days- he also told me he’s filed for bankruptcy and is therefore excused of all of the credit card debt he owes me. Wonderful.

Sorry this is a quick entry (again) I have been super, super busy. Expect many updates this weekend.
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

  • You get fun packages in the mail
  • Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
  • Shipping is practically free on most sites
  • No impulse buys
  • I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
  • I think much longer before making a purchase
  • I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.
When I told my now ex-husband I was leaving him the first thing he argued about was the laptop computer. Then the video camera. Anything of monetary value. But, not once, not once did he fight for our son. I wanted him to. It got to the point that his complete apathy to the issue was actually a little shocking. Why wasn’t he worried about not seeing Benjamin? It’s been two years. Since then he has come only during his 36 hours of visitation. No more, no less. And he has always come to us – staying in our house. Because his living pattern since I left him has been as follows:

Our old apartment (evicted)

His new apartment (evicted)

His boss’ basement

His girlfriend’s place (with her 5 year old son, yes she’s a single mom)

Now that he’s been with his girlfriend for a while he has as he says, “a new family” and wants Benjamin to be a part of it. So…for the first time he want to take Benjamin during his 36 hours. Up until now he’s always stayed with us because of his scattered living pattern.

Here’s the thing – the reason why I’m totally freaked out about this. And, believe me, I always try not to be judgmental. But … here are the stats on his girlfriend.

She’s an ex-stripper.

She works at Taco Bell.

She lives in a trailer.

Her parents live behind the trailer.

Her brother lives behind theirs.

Before my Ex told her not to she used to smoke with her son in her lap!

Okay…am I crazy to want to at least see the place? Am I crazy to be freaking out about this? I haven’t spent 36 hours away from Benjamin since he was born. Not once. I don’t want to be away from him.

I know this will be great for him and for his father – for them to get some quality time together, but why does it have to be in a place I’ve never seen? I’ve asked the Ex if I can see the house – he says no. But…we’ve been talking about it and trying to work out a compromise. I just know that when he takes Benjamin there he’s going to miss me and miss being home.

I’m crossing my fingers that this won’t become a regular weekly thing. That he will just take him every once in a while. And perhaps the biggest concern is that his car is completely unreliable. It’s an $800 Chevy that’s already broken down several times.

Oh – and along with the news that the Ex has decided to take Benjamin on his days- he also told me he’s filed for bankruptcy and is therefore excused of all of the credit card debt he owes me. Wonderful.

Sorry this is a quick entry (again) I have been super, super busy. Expect many updates this weekend.
Five months after leaving my husband and before the divorce was even final I started dating again.

And now one year later I’m embarking on my first relationship post-divorce. Yes, it’s been one year of dating. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but minus a few bumps and bruises along the way it has been quite an adventure and what a prize at the end!

The most important lesson I can pass on to other dating single mamas is:

  • You will inevitably kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. But to really appreciate your prince you have to have kissed those frogs. You’re not going to find him right away. Until then…try to just relax and have fun.

When I left my husband I moved in with my mother…to my hometown – a small bustling university town in the middle of nowhere. As far as men were concerned the pickings were slim. They were either university professors (always married), college students or small town professionals. From now on I would be a completely open-minded dater. And date I did.

The Rebound

My first single mom fling was with a friend. We would spend two or three nights a week together… watching movies, talking, playing with baby Benjamin and just enjoying each other’s company. But he was much older than me…11 years older. And he really wasn’t my type. A biker. A biker who lived in the woods, completely alone wtih his seven dogs. I knew there was no chance this could ever turn into a serious relationship. But I had to get back out there and why not with a friend? He was also just what the doctor ordered – a tough, strong man who hated jerks like my ex-husband. That was sexy.

One night we were sitting on the couch and started cuddling. I could tell he wanted to kiss me and I kept dodging his lean-ins. Then I thought to myself, “I have to do this, I have to kiss this man, I have to move on.” And so I did. It was amazing. Such a release to just be with someone else and to realize that I still knew how to kiss. We dated for about a month and a half. In the end it just fizzled out, as all rebounds do. The fireworks were gone and we both moved on. This particular man, is a prince, just not my prince.

Let the dating begin…

With my first single mama fling over with I was ready to jump back in the saddle and go out on real “dates”…or so I thought. I was pushing it before I was really ready. I just wanted it to end. I wanted to find him…so desperately. Too desperately. If I saw a man who was even slightly attractive I’d look for a ring – it seemed like they all had one. Why was everyone married but me? Why was I alone? What on earth had I done to deserve this?

I’m sure the men could sense my desperation. They could probably smell it from a mile away. And when the town is only six miles wide that’s a problem.

Beam me up, Scottie!

After too many bad dates and heartaches I decided I’d outgrown the small town men. I had recently been rejected again over e-mail… so I sent an e-mail of my own – to a headhunter. Miraculously – he had an opening for me and three weeks later I was back in the city where single, young happy men were everywhere.

Unfortunately the city men were just as messed up as the small town guys. One had a major porn addiction and couldn’t even – you know – with me. I met the other one through a friend and then spotted him on Match.com – and active while we were dating and sleeping together.

My friends didn’t seem to think this was a big deal – “did you ask him if you were exclusive?”

“No!” I belted, “Was I supposed to?”

“Hell yes. This is the city – remember? No one is exclusive until you talk about it. And you can’t call him so often.”

The rules. All of these rules. That was one nice thing about the small town the rules didn’t seem so tough. You either liked each other or you didn’t – or you were just extremely messed up in the head. But games like this were beyond me.

I was hurt. I was tired of it. Two little mini-relationships were enough and then I resolved to just be single forever…well, not forever, but I realized that being single really wasn’t that bad. I was happy. I was content. And that’s when I met Kris.

He calls me all of the time. He answers when I call. Okay, these are the basics but when you’re dating they become variables. He actually watches Benjamin so I can go out with the girls or go shopping. He makes me laugh – A LOT. He is so attentive to my moods and respectful of my work load and life load. He asks about Benjamin. He cares about us both. And he’s young… oh, and sexy. God is he sexy. I’ll have to commit an entire entry to this young guy thing because I completely recommend it.

The bottom line – while you’re a dating single mom – be patient, have fun, and then enjoy your prince…he’s on his way. Don’t worry. Just get rid of the frogs when one plops on your door step – don’t waste your time. As soon as it gets annoying or stressful toss him out with the dirty bath water.

UPDATE:

Kris and I dated for 6-months and thoroughly enjoyed each other the entire time. He will always be a really good friend of mine. So now I’m dating again… looking again for that elusive prince and trying to remind myself that one may exist.

Related posts you may like:

Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

  • You get fun packages in the mail
  • Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
  • Shipping is practically free on most sites
  • No impulse buys
  • I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
  • I think much longer before making a purchase
  • I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.
When I told my now ex-husband I was leaving him the first thing he argued about was the laptop computer. Then the video camera. Anything of monetary value. But, not once, not once did he fight for our son. I wanted him to. It got to the point that his complete apathy to the issue was actually a little shocking. Why wasn’t he worried about not seeing Benjamin? It’s been two years. Since then he has come only during his 36 hours of visitation. No more, no less. And he has always come to us – staying in our house. Because his living pattern since I left him has been as follows:

Our old apartment (evicted)

His new apartment (evicted)

His boss’ basement

His girlfriend’s place (with her 5 year old son, yes she’s a single mom)

Now that he’s been with his girlfriend for a while he has as he says, “a new family” and wants Benjamin to be a part of it. So…for the first time he want to take Benjamin during his 36 hours. Up until now he’s always stayed with us because of his scattered living pattern.

Here’s the thing – the reason why I’m totally freaked out about this. And, believe me, I always try not to be judgmental. But … here are the stats on his girlfriend.

She’s an ex-stripper.

She works at Taco Bell.

She lives in a trailer.

Her parents live behind the trailer.

Her brother lives behind theirs.

Before my Ex told her not to she used to smoke with her son in her lap!

Okay…am I crazy to want to at least see the place? Am I crazy to be freaking out about this? I haven’t spent 36 hours away from Benjamin since he was born. Not once. I don’t want to be away from him.

I know this will be great for him and for his father – for them to get some quality time together, but why does it have to be in a place I’ve never seen? I’ve asked the Ex if I can see the house – he says no. But…we’ve been talking about it and trying to work out a compromise. I just know that when he takes Benjamin there he’s going to miss me and miss being home.

I’m crossing my fingers that this won’t become a regular weekly thing. That he will just take him every once in a while. And perhaps the biggest concern is that his car is completely unreliable. It’s an $800 Chevy that’s already broken down several times.

Oh – and along with the news that the Ex has decided to take Benjamin on his days- he also told me he’s filed for bankruptcy and is therefore excused of all of the credit card debt he owes me. Wonderful.

Sorry this is a quick entry (again) I have been super, super busy. Expect many updates this weekend.
Five months after leaving my husband and before the divorce was even final I started dating again.

And now one year later I’m embarking on my first relationship post-divorce. Yes, it’s been one year of dating. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but minus a few bumps and bruises along the way it has been quite an adventure and what a prize at the end!

The most important lesson I can pass on to other dating single mamas is:

  • You will inevitably kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. But to really appreciate your prince you have to have kissed those frogs. You’re not going to find him right away. Until then…try to just relax and have fun.

When I left my husband I moved in with my mother…to my hometown – a small bustling university town in the middle of nowhere. As far as men were concerned the pickings were slim. They were either university professors (always married), college students or small town professionals. From now on I would be a completely open-minded dater. And date I did.

The Rebound

My first single mom fling was with a friend. We would spend two or three nights a week together… watching movies, talking, playing with baby Benjamin and just enjoying each other’s company. But he was much older than me…11 years older. And he really wasn’t my type. A biker. A biker who lived in the woods, completely alone wtih his seven dogs. I knew there was no chance this could ever turn into a serious relationship. But I had to get back out there and why not with a friend? He was also just what the doctor ordered – a tough, strong man who hated jerks like my ex-husband. That was sexy.

One night we were sitting on the couch and started cuddling. I could tell he wanted to kiss me and I kept dodging his lean-ins. Then I thought to myself, “I have to do this, I have to kiss this man, I have to move on.” And so I did. It was amazing. Such a release to just be with someone else and to realize that I still knew how to kiss. We dated for about a month and a half. In the end it just fizzled out, as all rebounds do. The fireworks were gone and we both moved on. This particular man, is a prince, just not my prince.

Let the dating begin…

With my first single mama fling over with I was ready to jump back in the saddle and go out on real “dates”…or so I thought. I was pushing it before I was really ready. I just wanted it to end. I wanted to find him…so desperately. Too desperately. If I saw a man who was even slightly attractive I’d look for a ring – it seemed like they all had one. Why was everyone married but me? Why was I alone? What on earth had I done to deserve this?

I’m sure the men could sense my desperation. They could probably smell it from a mile away. And when the town is only six miles wide that’s a problem.

Beam me up, Scottie!

After too many bad dates and heartaches I decided I’d outgrown the small town men. I had recently been rejected again over e-mail… so I sent an e-mail of my own – to a headhunter. Miraculously – he had an opening for me and three weeks later I was back in the city where single, young happy men were everywhere.

Unfortunately the city men were just as messed up as the small town guys. One had a major porn addiction and couldn’t even – you know – with me. I met the other one through a friend and then spotted him on Match.com – and active while we were dating and sleeping together.

My friends didn’t seem to think this was a big deal – “did you ask him if you were exclusive?”

“No!” I belted, “Was I supposed to?”

“Hell yes. This is the city – remember? No one is exclusive until you talk about it. And you can’t call him so often.”

The rules. All of these rules. That was one nice thing about the small town the rules didn’t seem so tough. You either liked each other or you didn’t – or you were just extremely messed up in the head. But games like this were beyond me.

I was hurt. I was tired of it. Two little mini-relationships were enough and then I resolved to just be single forever…well, not forever, but I realized that being single really wasn’t that bad. I was happy. I was content. And that’s when I met Kris.

He calls me all of the time. He answers when I call. Okay, these are the basics but when you’re dating they become variables. He actually watches Benjamin so I can go out with the girls or go shopping. He makes me laugh – A LOT. He is so attentive to my moods and respectful of my work load and life load. He asks about Benjamin. He cares about us both. And he’s young… oh, and sexy. God is he sexy. I’ll have to commit an entire entry to this young guy thing because I completely recommend it.

The bottom line – while you’re a dating single mom – be patient, have fun, and then enjoy your prince…he’s on his way. Don’t worry. Just get rid of the frogs when one plops on your door step – don’t waste your time. As soon as it gets annoying or stressful toss him out with the dirty bath water.

UPDATE:

Kris and I dated for 6-months and thoroughly enjoyed each other the entire time. He will always be a really good friend of mine. So now I’m dating again… looking again for that elusive prince and trying to remind myself that one may exist.

Related posts you may like:

Five months after leaving my husband and before the divorce was even final I started dating again. And now one year later I’m embarking on my first relationship post-divorce. Yes, it’s been one year of dating. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but minus a few bumps and bruises along the way it has been quite an adventure and what a prize at the end!

The most important lesson I can pass on to other dating single mamas is:

  • You will inevitably kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. But to really appreciate your prince you have to have kissed those frogs. You’re not going to find him right away. Until then…try to just relax and have fun.

When I left my husband I moved in with my mother…to my hometown – a small bustling university town in the middle of nowhere. As far as men were concerned the pickings were slim. They were either university professors (always married), college students or small town professionals. And with a population of just over 6,000 I decided, or was forced, to throw all of my standards out the window. From here on out I would date people based on who they were inside, how they treated me and how they were living their lives. Makes sense but keep in mind I’m a fairly attractive 28 year old city girl. I had standards. But clearly they had done me no good – so I tossed them. From now on I would be a completely open-minded dater. And date I did.

The Rebound

My first single mama fling was with a friend. A man who I was spending two to three nights a week with. We would watch movies, talk, play with Benjamin and just enjoy each other’s company. But he was much older than me…11 years older. And he really wasn’t my type. A biker. A biker who lived in the woods, completely alone wtih his seven dogs. Yes, seven. I knew there was no chance this could ever turn into a serious relationship. But I had to get back out there and why not with a friend? With someone I trusted? He was tough, strong and hated jerks like my ex-husband who couldn’t be man enough to stand up to the responsibilities life throws at you. That was sexy.

It had been five months since leaving my husband and I was still scared of getting back out there. The idea of even kissing another man made me a little queasy. And I actually wasn’t even really attracted to him. But I refused to let looks sway me. I had to be open minded.

One night we were sitting on the couch and started cuddling. I could tell he wanted to kiss me and I kept dodging his lean ins. Then I thought to myself, “I have to do this, I have to kiss this man, I have to move on.” And so I did. It was amazing. Such a release to just be with someone else and to realize that I still knew how to kiss. We dated for about a month and a half. In the end it just fizzled out, as all rebounds do. The fireworks were gone and we both moved on. This particular man, is a prince, just not my prince.

Let the dating begin…

With my first single mama fling over with I was ready to jump back in the saddle and go out on real “dates”…or so I thought. I was pushing it before I was really ready. I just wanted it to end. I wanted to find him…so desperately. Too desperately. If I saw a man who was even slightly attractive I’d look for a ring – it seemed like they all had one. Why was everyone married but me? Why was I alone? What on earth had I done to deserve this?

See? Not a great state of mind to date in – but, thanks to Benjamin I was still level headed about it and wasn’t so desperate that I’d just be with anyone. But I’m still sure the men could sense my desperation. They could probably smell it from a mile away. And when the town is only six miles wide that’s a problem.

I actually had a huge crush on the only eligible bachelor in town. We had to work together occasionally and would flirt during meetings and over e-mails. Then, one night, I ran into him in a bar. “When are you going to kiss me?” I asked. “Because this is just a little bit ridiculous.” Five minutes later he grabbed my face and kissed me. It was so exciting. I had never had a crush like this before and thought – wow – this means we’re going to date – right? No. The next morning I get an e-mail – he couldn’t commit to anyone right now – couldn’t even have fun with anyone right now because he was just too messed up about women. I was devastated. I had put all of my eggs in one basket for months. Not good. But I was stuck in this damn small town.

So I venture online. After a few months of e-mailing a teacher on MySpace who lived 30 minutes away we meet in the middle for a blind date. It was an amazing date. He made me laugh, we talked and talked. He kissed me good night. I was on cloud nine. I seriously thought there was some major chemistry there. He called me the next day. I missed the call but called him right back and left a message. He never called me back. Four days later I got an e-mail…”I told you I wasn’t very religious, but I am, I actually believe I have a personal relationship with God.” Great. Just great. Why couldn’t he have told me that when we first met online? He went on to say he actually had been repenting or whatever the entire week because he kissed me, because he couldn’t resist me in my cute red dress. What a weirdo. Nice guy and once again someone else’s prince – just not mine.

Beam me up, Scottie!

This MySpace guy was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I had to get out of this crazy town with all of these older single men who had yet to commit. I had been so damn excited about that date – and then to be rejected again…over another e-mail! So I sent an e-mail of my own – to a headhunter. Miraculously – he had an opening for me and three weeks later I was back in the city where single, young happy men were everywhere.

Unfortunately the city men were just as messed up as the small town guys. One had a major porn addiction and couldn’t even – you know – with me. I met the other one through a friend and then spotted him on Match.com – and active while we were dating.

My friends didn’t seem to think this was a big deal – “did you ask him if you were exclusive?” No! I belted, was I supposed to? “Hell yes. This is the city – remember? No one is exclusive until you talk about it. And you can’t call him so often.” The rules. All of these rules. That was one nice thing about the small town the rules didn’t seem so tough. You either liked each other or you didn’t – or you were just extremely messed up in the head. But games like this were beyond me.

I was hurt. I was tired of it. Two little mini-relationships were enough and then I resolved to just be single forever…well, not forever, but I realized that being single really wasn’t that bad. I was happy. I was content. And that’s when I met Kris. He calls me all of the time. He answers when I call. Okay, these are the basics but when you’re dating they’re variables. He actually watches Benjamin so I can go out with the girls or go shopping. He makes me laugh – A LOT. He is so attentive to my moods and respectful of my work load and life load. He asks about Benjamin. He cares about us both. And he’s young… oh, and sexy. God is he sexy. I’ll have to commit an entire entry to this young guy thing because I completely recommend it. But that’s another story for another day. Can I just say…to be continued on this one?

The bottom line – while you’re a dating single mom – be patient, have fun, and then enjoy your prince…he’s on his way. Don’t worry. Just get rid of the frogs when one plops on your door step – don’t waste your time. As soon as it gets annoying or stressful toss him out with the dirty bath water.
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

  • You get fun packages in the mail
  • Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
  • Shipping is practically free on most sites
  • No impulse buys
  • I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
  • I think much longer before making a purchase
  • I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.
When I told my now ex-husband I was leaving him the first thing he argued about was the laptop computer. Then the video camera. Anything of monetary value. But, not once, not once did he fight for our son. I wanted him to. It got to the point that his complete apathy to the issue was actually a little shocking. Why wasn’t he worried about not seeing Benjamin? It’s been two years. Since then he has come only during his 36 hours of visitation. No more, no less. And he has always come to us – staying in our house. Because his living pattern since I left him has been as follows:

Our old apartment (evicted)

His new apartment (evicted)

His boss’ basement

His girlfriend’s place (with her 5 year old son, yes she’s a single mom)

Now that he’s been with his girlfriend for a while he has as he says, “a new family” and wants Benjamin to be a part of it. So…for the first time he want to take Benjamin during his 36 hours. Up until now he’s always stayed with us because of his scattered living pattern.

Here’s the thing – the reason why I’m totally freaked out about this. And, believe me, I always try not to be judgmental. But … here are the stats on his girlfriend.

She’s an ex-stripper.

She works at Taco Bell.

She lives in a trailer.

Her parents live behind the trailer.

Her brother lives behind theirs.

Before my Ex told her not to she used to smoke with her son in her lap!

Okay…am I crazy to want to at least see the place? Am I crazy to be freaking out about this? I haven’t spent 36 hours away from Benjamin since he was born. Not once. I don’t want to be away from him.

I know this will be great for him and for his father – for them to get some quality time together, but why does it have to be in a place I’ve never seen? I’ve asked the Ex if I can see the house – he says no. But…we’ve been talking about it and trying to work out a compromise. I just know that when he takes Benjamin there he’s going to miss me and miss being home.

I’m crossing my fingers that this won’t become a regular weekly thing. That he will just take him every once in a while. And perhaps the biggest concern is that his car is completely unreliable. It’s an $800 Chevy that’s already broken down several times.

Oh – and along with the news that the Ex has decided to take Benjamin on his days- he also told me he’s filed for bankruptcy and is therefore excused of all of the credit card debt he owes me. Wonderful.

Sorry this is a quick entry (again) I have been super, super busy. Expect many updates this weekend.
Five months after leaving my husband and before the divorce was even final I started dating again.

And now one year later I’m embarking on my first relationship post-divorce. Yes, it’s been one year of dating. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but minus a few bumps and bruises along the way it has been quite an adventure and what a prize at the end!

The most important lesson I can pass on to other dating single mamas is:

  • You will inevitably kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. But to really appreciate your prince you have to have kissed those frogs. You’re not going to find him right away. Until then…try to just relax and have fun.

When I left my husband I moved in with my mother…to my hometown – a small bustling university town in the middle of nowhere. As far as men were concerned the pickings were slim. They were either university professors (always married), college students or small town professionals. From now on I would be a completely open-minded dater. And date I did.

The Rebound

My first single mom fling was with a friend. We would spend two or three nights a week together… watching movies, talking, playing with baby Benjamin and just enjoying each other’s company. But he was much older than me…11 years older. And he really wasn’t my type. A biker. A biker who lived in the woods, completely alone wtih his seven dogs. I knew there was no chance this could ever turn into a serious relationship. But I had to get back out there and why not with a friend? He was also just what the doctor ordered – a tough, strong man who hated jerks like my ex-husband. That was sexy.

One night we were sitting on the couch and started cuddling. I could tell he wanted to kiss me and I kept dodging his lean-ins. Then I thought to myself, “I have to do this, I have to kiss this man, I have to move on.” And so I did. It was amazing. Such a release to just be with someone else and to realize that I still knew how to kiss. We dated for about a month and a half. In the end it just fizzled out, as all rebounds do. The fireworks were gone and we both moved on. This particular man, is a prince, just not my prince.

Let the dating begin…

With my first single mama fling over with I was ready to jump back in the saddle and go out on real “dates”…or so I thought. I was pushing it before I was really ready. I just wanted it to end. I wanted to find him…so desperately. Too desperately. If I saw a man who was even slightly attractive I’d look for a ring – it seemed like they all had one. Why was everyone married but me? Why was I alone? What on earth had I done to deserve this?

I’m sure the men could sense my desperation. They could probably smell it from a mile away. And when the town is only six miles wide that’s a problem.

Beam me up, Scottie!

After too many bad dates and heartaches I decided I’d outgrown the small town men. I had recently been rejected again over e-mail… so I sent an e-mail of my own – to a headhunter. Miraculously – he had an opening for me and three weeks later I was back in the city where single, young happy men were everywhere.

Unfortunately the city men were just as messed up as the small town guys. One had a major porn addiction and couldn’t even – you know – with me. I met the other one through a friend and then spotted him on Match.com – and active while we were dating and sleeping together.

My friends didn’t seem to think this was a big deal – “did you ask him if you were exclusive?”

“No!” I belted, “Was I supposed to?”

“Hell yes. This is the city – remember? No one is exclusive until you talk about it. And you can’t call him so often.”

The rules. All of these rules. That was one nice thing about the small town the rules didn’t seem so tough. You either liked each other or you didn’t – or you were just extremely messed up in the head. But games like this were beyond me.

I was hurt. I was tired of it. Two little mini-relationships were enough and then I resolved to just be single forever…well, not forever, but I realized that being single really wasn’t that bad. I was happy. I was content. And that’s when I met Kris.

He calls me all of the time. He answers when I call. Okay, these are the basics but when you’re dating they become variables. He actually watches Benjamin so I can go out with the girls or go shopping. He makes me laugh – A LOT. He is so attentive to my moods and respectful of my work load and life load. He asks about Benjamin. He cares about us both. And he’s young… oh, and sexy. God is he sexy. I’ll have to commit an entire entry to this young guy thing because I completely recommend it.

The bottom line – while you’re a dating single mom – be patient, have fun, and then enjoy your prince…he’s on his way. Don’t worry. Just get rid of the frogs when one plops on your door step – don’t waste your time. As soon as it gets annoying or stressful toss him out with the dirty bath water.

UPDATE:

Kris and I dated for 6-months and thoroughly enjoyed each other the entire time. He will always be a really good friend of mine. So now I’m dating again… looking again for that elusive prince and trying to remind myself that one may exist.

Related posts you may like:

Five months after leaving my husband and before the divorce was even final I started dating again. And now one year later I’m embarking on my first relationship post-divorce. Yes, it’s been one year of dating. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but minus a few bumps and bruises along the way it has been quite an adventure and what a prize at the end!

The most important lesson I can pass on to other dating single mamas is:

  • You will inevitably kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. But to really appreciate your prince you have to have kissed those frogs. You’re not going to find him right away. Until then…try to just relax and have fun.

When I left my husband I moved in with my mother…to my hometown – a small bustling university town in the middle of nowhere. As far as men were concerned the pickings were slim. They were either university professors (always married), college students or small town professionals. And with a population of just over 6,000 I decided, or was forced, to throw all of my standards out the window. From here on out I would date people based on who they were inside, how they treated me and how they were living their lives. Makes sense but keep in mind I’m a fairly attractive 28 year old city girl. I had standards. But clearly they had done me no good – so I tossed them. From now on I would be a completely open-minded dater. And date I did.

The Rebound

My first single mama fling was with a friend. A man who I was spending two to three nights a week with. We would watch movies, talk, play with Benjamin and just enjoy each other’s company. But he was much older than me…11 years older. And he really wasn’t my type. A biker. A biker who lived in the woods, completely alone wtih his seven dogs. Yes, seven. I knew there was no chance this could ever turn into a serious relationship. But I had to get back out there and why not with a friend? With someone I trusted? He was tough, strong and hated jerks like my ex-husband who couldn’t be man enough to stand up to the responsibilities life throws at you. That was sexy.

It had been five months since leaving my husband and I was still scared of getting back out there. The idea of even kissing another man made me a little queasy. And I actually wasn’t even really attracted to him. But I refused to let looks sway me. I had to be open minded.

One night we were sitting on the couch and started cuddling. I could tell he wanted to kiss me and I kept dodging his lean ins. Then I thought to myself, “I have to do this, I have to kiss this man, I have to move on.” And so I did. It was amazing. Such a release to just be with someone else and to realize that I still knew how to kiss. We dated for about a month and a half. In the end it just fizzled out, as all rebounds do. The fireworks were gone and we both moved on. This particular man, is a prince, just not my prince.

Let the dating begin…

With my first single mama fling over with I was ready to jump back in the saddle and go out on real “dates”…or so I thought. I was pushing it before I was really ready. I just wanted it to end. I wanted to find him…so desperately. Too desperately. If I saw a man who was even slightly attractive I’d look for a ring – it seemed like they all had one. Why was everyone married but me? Why was I alone? What on earth had I done to deserve this?

See? Not a great state of mind to date in – but, thanks to Benjamin I was still level headed about it and wasn’t so desperate that I’d just be with anyone. But I’m still sure the men could sense my desperation. They could probably smell it from a mile away. And when the town is only six miles wide that’s a problem.

I actually had a huge crush on the only eligible bachelor in town. We had to work together occasionally and would flirt during meetings and over e-mails. Then, one night, I ran into him in a bar. “When are you going to kiss me?” I asked. “Because this is just a little bit ridiculous.” Five minutes later he grabbed my face and kissed me. It was so exciting. I had never had a crush like this before and thought – wow – this means we’re going to date – right? No. The next morning I get an e-mail – he couldn’t commit to anyone right now – couldn’t even have fun with anyone right now because he was just too messed up about women. I was devastated. I had put all of my eggs in one basket for months. Not good. But I was stuck in this damn small town.

So I venture online. After a few months of e-mailing a teacher on MySpace who lived 30 minutes away we meet in the middle for a blind date. It was an amazing date. He made me laugh, we talked and talked. He kissed me good night. I was on cloud nine. I seriously thought there was some major chemistry there. He called me the next day. I missed the call but called him right back and left a message. He never called me back. Four days later I got an e-mail…”I told you I wasn’t very religious, but I am, I actually believe I have a personal relationship with God.” Great. Just great. Why couldn’t he have told me that when we first met online? He went on to say he actually had been repenting or whatever the entire week because he kissed me, because he couldn’t resist me in my cute red dress. What a weirdo. Nice guy and once again someone else’s prince – just not mine.

Beam me up, Scottie!

This MySpace guy was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I had to get out of this crazy town with all of these older single men who had yet to commit. I had been so damn excited about that date – and then to be rejected again…over another e-mail! So I sent an e-mail of my own – to a headhunter. Miraculously – he had an opening for me and three weeks later I was back in the city where single, young happy men were everywhere.

Unfortunately the city men were just as messed up as the small town guys. One had a major porn addiction and couldn’t even – you know – with me. I met the other one through a friend and then spotted him on Match.com – and active while we were dating.

My friends didn’t seem to think this was a big deal – “did you ask him if you were exclusive?” No! I belted, was I supposed to? “Hell yes. This is the city – remember? No one is exclusive until you talk about it. And you can’t call him so often.” The rules. All of these rules. That was one nice thing about the small town the rules didn’t seem so tough. You either liked each other or you didn’t – or you were just extremely messed up in the head. But games like this were beyond me.

I was hurt. I was tired of it. Two little mini-relationships were enough and then I resolved to just be single forever…well, not forever, but I realized that being single really wasn’t that bad. I was happy. I was content. And that’s when I met Kris. He calls me all of the time. He answers when I call. Okay, these are the basics but when you’re dating they’re variables. He actually watches Benjamin so I can go out with the girls or go shopping. He makes me laugh – A LOT. He is so attentive to my moods and respectful of my work load and life load. He asks about Benjamin. He cares about us both. And he’s young… oh, and sexy. God is he sexy. I’ll have to commit an entire entry to this young guy thing because I completely recommend it. But that’s another story for another day. Can I just say…to be continued on this one?

The bottom line – while you’re a dating single mom – be patient, have fun, and then enjoy your prince…he’s on his way. Don’t worry. Just get rid of the frogs when one plops on your door step – don’t waste your time. As soon as it gets annoying or stressful toss him out with the dirty bath water.
My best friend, who’s also a single mother, told me yesterday that I should probably be in therapy. I have no problems with therapy. I think it works wonders for people and has for me in the past. But how will I manage the time it will take to go – and let alone find a decent therapist?

So here’s my list of what I need therapy for.

  1. My father died of cancer when he was just 51, I was 21. My mother is still nuts over it and my siblings and I are constantly wracked with guilt over what we have or have not been doing to either help her to wellness or ease her pain. (She refuses to go to therapy).
  2. My now ex-husband failed Benjamin and I but still blames me to this day for the divorce.
  3. I am a bit of a chronic dater. Is this wrong? Why am I doing it? Why do I get bored with men so quickly? Is it really because I’m deathly afraid that my man will either die on me or leave me?
  4. I am trying to raise a child by myself. That’s enough to drive anyone over the edge. I have been alone for so long that I just don’t even know how to let anyone in.

Is it in my best interest to try to sort some of these things out with a professional? Probably. Could I find one who could make house calls?

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Tim December 21, 2007 at 10:58 am

Hello,

How long since your father passed away? I would say from reading your comments that you haven’t really stopped in your life to ask yourself about yourself.

It might sound silly, and this won’t help anyone else with their issues, but taking ‘time out’ can help. For this to be beneficial you need to be alone. No kids, no relatives, friends etc. You also need some time. If a few days is out of the question then how about 1/2 – 1 an hour a day for a week. Ask yourself these questions? What do I fear? Who do I love? List your top 5 for both. But don’t post them. No one needs to see them. When you have done that, you will be ready for step two.

Good Luck.

Tim

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mssinglemama December 21, 2007 at 7:51 pm

Thanks Tim. It’s been 8 years since my father passed away. And I have had quite a series of major life events since that have left me with little time to ask myself about myself – most recently becoming a mother and getting a divorce. A few months ago I had to take time for myself – by circumstance. I had to make an 8 hour drive to return my friend’s dog. So, I left Benjamin with a friend. It was my first 8 hours – completely alone since having him and it’s been nearly two years. I will definitely take your advice and try to get more alone time. I have to really try to let go of the guilt and just take time for myself. It’s so important. Thanks!

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Tim December 22, 2007 at 5:25 am

Time heals all wounds… Have you ever heard that? Time is non-intereactive, therefore time doesn’t heal wounds. Understanding our emotions takes time and it is important to focus on emotions and not the time it takes to make progress.

Fear is one of the biggest contributors to mental exhaustion. e.g. Fear of not making enough money to survive, fear of not being able to achieve goals, fear of losing loved ones. Understanding our fears reveals so much about our emotional state that we can then take the steps to be emotionally in control.

It is never nice to hear someone has lost a family member, and so I feel for you greatly, but do you think your father would want you to carry on these feeling of guilt. I doubt it. So why not have a conversation with him. You don’t need to hear actual words to know the answers.

Love, (my def: The desire to please.) is the most important factor in being able to move ahead in life whether just get to tomorrow or to reach a goal in 5 years. Before you can please anyone else you must please yourself. If you do not love yourself you cannot love your son.

Obviously you must love your son and so you have love for yourself, but I believe that people in general don’t know enough about themselves in this crazy fast paced world to love enough.

If you only know 10 % of yourself, how can you expect to know more than 10 % of another person? Relationships of any kind are bound by rules. If a man was to try and get to know you and you only know a little about yourself, he can only have a relationship with the little he knows of you. If you turn that around, would you be interested in a having a relationship with anyone if you knew that you could only get to know 10% or even 50% of that person. It would not be wise. We often hide the worst till last.

Tim

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mssinglemama December 22, 2007 at 7:17 am

How do you get to know yourself better? What can or should I do?

And you’re absolutely right – my father would not want me to be feeling this guilt. The guilt is largely felt for my mother.

My fears are deep. My fears about the future…about losing someone else. About how my son will judge our situation in the future. How do you come to terms with your fears?

I wrote the lists. The fears came quickly. The people I loved the most were harder. Does it matter if they’re not in a ranking order? Or is it just a list?

I love what you’ve written – it’s beautiful, thought provoking and comforting.

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Tim December 22, 2007 at 8:45 am

Fears, (my def: a lack of knowledge) can be overcome by gaining knowledge. It is impossible to gain knowledge of the future but we can lay a very good foundation to enable us to control it.

If a car did not have a steering wheel we would not drive it – we like to be in control. In life we can’t stop living because we lack direction or goals, but we can gain control by getting to know yourself better. I could tell you that making goals is the answer, but what goals? If you say to me right now, OK, I want to be an Air Hostess for Airline A, easy lets set the goal. But, is that who you are? Is that what you want? Is that what you need?

Goals can only be set by evaluating ourselves and knowing what we really want and need in life. In your situation as a single mother you have many variables to deal with that a single or even married person does not, but that is not a reason to say it is too hard. Having a blog and putting your heart on line to find answers, tells me that ‘too hard’ is not a word that you use very often, so that is good.

The reason you need lists is for evaluation. Each time you write a list it will change. Note these changes to yourself. Recognizing yours fears is the first step to addressing them, by gaining knowledge. A dark room is scarey until we turn the light on.

Your son will judge your situation based on how you handle it. While no one is in a position to tell you how to deal with it, being objective in handling it is a good place to start. Having empathy for your son will reveal many answers also, and do not be afraid to ask for his input. Just make sure that your questions are not baited. He will see through the insincerity and it will come back to bite you.

A good indicator of how your son sees you, your situation and how you deal with it, is in your relationship.

Don’t be quick to lay blame. All good relationships should be 50/50. In any relationship that fails we must be prepared to take some of the responsibility, even if it is just for your son. This is not a judgement against you, but if all your responses to your sons questions are ‘It was Dad’s fault.’ he will lose respect for you over time. A better answer would be ‘At that time I thought that was the best way to deal with the situation.’

You see, as your son gets older and begins making choices of his own, he will remember ways that you dealt with situations and he will replicate those. So remember that blaming another is a good excuse for not taking responsibility.

As far as the love list, If you were not at the top of that list, then it would be diffcult to love others. Write your list again and put yourself at the top. After writing that list, write another with all the reasons why you love yourself.

Also another thing to think about. What is your opinion of yourself?

On your mother, I have often wondered about how marriage vows affect people. I am guessing that your mother would be at least 5o if not older. Those generations were very literal in all things. Let your yes mean yes and your no mean no.

In the marriage vows it says ‘ Do you, ‘Name’, take ‘Name’ to love and to cherish, through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer till death do you part? ‘ YES

I have found that partners of your mothers and previous generations find it very difficult when their partner passes. So I ask these questions, ‘Why should your love stop at death?’ ‘Why should you stop cherishing your partner when they have passed? ‘ You see they may only be words, but older generations believed those words with all their heart. They just didn’t stop to think about how they might be affected by them.

Tim

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mssinglemama December 23, 2007 at 7:16 am

Wow. You are amazing. Do you have a book or a blog? You don’t have to answer that …

It’s funny that you mention responsibility because I do realize my failed marriage was definitely a 50/50 situation. We were in love, he needed a green card and we married in a rush. Very impulsive, I know. And that experience in itself has had me questioning my own judgement ever since. I don’t blame him. I actually blame both of us…for being two adults (very young adults) who committed to something and then couldn’t make it work. But I credit both of us for remaining friends and for realizing that we were two completely different people who just made a mistake. It’s been hard since leaving him to see his life deteriorate. But he presses on and continues to see his son.

On my goals – Having been married and having had a child my goals in life have changed. They used to be career, career, career and money, money, money. Now my goal is to create a loving, happy and comfortable home for myself and my son. My career is still up there as it always will be. But because I’ve got such an amazing job right now I feel like that goal is already checked off (although it will always be a goal of mine to succeed and continue to excell at work.)

Now I’m just focusing on creating a happy life for both of us that will ideally include his future step-father and my future-husband. It’s why I’ve been asking myself all of these questions over the past year – realizing that I need to work on myself before I can really make this happen. That I do have a lot of dark closets to explore before I can really have a successful relationship. Nothing is too hard. I have to figure this out. It’s not an option. I want to be the best mother I can be and the best wife I can be and most importantly, the best person to myself that I can be.

I wasn’t on my own list – on my list of who I love. I think that going from a single career woman to a single mother in the course of two years knocked me off course. I have been lost to myself for a while but recently, in just the past six months I have been waking up again. Remembering who I am, who I was and who I will become. It’s why I have this blog. I do want to give other single mothers hope. Granted we are all different and every situation is unique – but this particular life situation is definitely hard to explain to others.

My parents were madly in love with each other and fortunately I witnessed that as a child. But, that has also left me with some unrealistic expectations of how a relationship should be (as my mother reminds me I saw the easy part – the end of their relationship – not the years of molding before I came along.)

I love what you said about continuing to love someone even after they’ve died. For me it’s easy, he was my father. I still feel like he’s around. I still feel him with me. I still love him so much. I actually put him on my list. Didn’t know if they had to be alive or not.

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Tim December 23, 2007 at 9:46 am

Your positive response will only lead to more posts. I love people interested in improving themselves.

Just a quick (its quite long actually – lol) note on your mother and what I said about love after death. Sometimes people can have feelings of guilt after a partner passes and not know why. These feelings of guilt appear to be very deep and unreachable. These feeling of guilt can be transferred onto other people as blame or even rejection. This can make those who are close have feelings of guilt.

Guilt, My Def: is a misunderstanding of intention.

To Do:

Ask your mother to think about her vows. Ask her if she thinks she should stop loving her husband just because of his passing. If not then sit with her and write up a new vow. A vow to love her husband forever as she actually intended to. This love will be for all the times they shared together, both physical and emotional. You yourself are the very embodiment of the love they shared. Is it not logical then that her love for her husband has finished? Loving a partner who has passed does not mean that the person is not moving on with their life.

Recognizing our emotions and acknowledging them is the best way to overcome fear. When we overcome our fears, we can love. Love is the breath of life in all of us. Without love in our life, there is no reason to breath. But what is love? Love is the desire to please. As we grow more emotionally attached to another person we will want to please them more. So your mother can still be very much in love with you father by doing things that she knows would please him.

Now to you…

Sometimes in life we look at what we do, we think about the things we say, we look at the people who surround us and we ask ourselves, why? Why do we do what we do, why do we say the things we say, why are the people who surround us there? And we realise sometimes that things must change. We realise we don’t like the things we do. We don’t like the things we say. And the people who surround us are just…growing invisible. All of these things are symptoms. Symptoms of our emotional state.

If we are ill, the doctor does not treat the symptoms but treats the cause. Treating the symptom may make the illness go away for awhile but when it comes back it will be worse.

If we treat our emotional symptoms, we are not fixing the cause of the symptoms. As an instance, If we have a husband who is mistreating us and so we end the relationship. We are only treating the symptom. (I believe in such a case that this needs to be done, for the safety of those involved). So now we seek another partner. All goes well until the symptoms reappear. The mistreating begins again and so we treat the symptoms by ending the relationship once more.

When a relationship has ended because of problems symptomatic of an incorrect emotional state, we must alter that state so as not to induce the same symptoms. Do not read this as me blaming the women for inviting the mistreatment. No, what it is, is the women taking responsibility for her emotional state and being aware that her emotional set was in need of alteration.

An example. If the captain of a ship was given a map to take his ship through a particular channel and he ran aground, it would not make sense to dredge the channel floor so the ship could pass. It would make better sense for the captain to redraw his charts so that in future he was able to take a better route and thus bypassing the obstruction. He could blame the rocks, he could blame the map maker, but in the end he has to take responsibility for his actions and be big enoughto say ‘well if they can’t get it right then I will.’

I hope this makes a little sense. I will post again soon with more bits and bobs. I am in the process of putting together a website for my thoughts. So will let you know. For now though, be safe.

Tim

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Tim December 23, 2007 at 6:27 pm

Woops, sorry amendment needed in last post.

Old: Is it not logical then that her love for her husband has finished?

New: Is it not logical then that her love for her husband has not finished?

Sorry,

Your objectivety will go a long way to help with your emotional development. To fast track your emotional self, research Empathy and apply it. To be able to have empathy we must first understand ourselves. Yet to have empathy indicates that we already know ourselves. You must give yourself much credit. To be able to be objective indicates to me that you are developing empathy. I am sure you will be fine. In fact, you are already laying great foundations for your own path. I just wonder how long it be before you can see that and be emotionally free.

Tim

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mssinglemama December 23, 2007 at 9:52 pm

Thanks Tim! I’m glad this is out there for any other single mothers who find my blog. And for anyone – great advice not matter who you are or what your situation.

It’s funny because since my divorce I’ve met so many men who just don’t know who they are or lacked a sense of reality. These are men I dated – only briefly – because it was just boring. Takes me back to the 10% idea…makes total sense to me.

Since reading your first few responses I’ve been making a conscious effort to love and get to know myself better…so far, so good.

Thanks again and Happy Holidays!!!

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Tim December 24, 2007 at 9:30 am

I wish you all the best for Christmas and the New Year.

And to anyone who is reading this wondering if there is hope, of course there is.

You can mail me at timbochard@gmail.com.

You asked about my blog, and as yet I don’t have one. Although my website http://www.timchard.com is up. It is still a work in progress though.

Tim

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mssinglemama December 24, 2007 at 7:36 pm

Nice start to your site Tim… can’t wait until the emotion page is up and running…please let me know.

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Myrna L. June 12, 2009 at 2:08 pm

Not sure whom I should address this to but I guess it would be for the both of you….Thankyou for your many words of wisdom….I am a widow (it will be 10years next month) we were married for 39 years we raised two beautiful daughters and my husband had the brief pleasure of seeing his 2 grandsons born… My girls and I miss him more as time goes by mainly because we know how much he would have loved seeing these boys grow up…They know their grandfather through us and we refer to him daily whether it's a food comment, a historic or political view, or a cozy bedtime real story…..I love the fact that you have validated my on going love and I will share your blog with my girls. Thankyou again, I truly believe it was no coincidence that I found you this morning. You were just what I needed…..

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Torn October 2, 2011 at 12:27 am

Felt so hopeless looking for answers to my quetnsios…until now.

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David February 4, 2015 at 7:52 am

Thanks for posting this! I was conmig home from taking my kid to a dr. appt and one of the sports guys on the radio here in LA was talking about this song. It was like a train wreck; I couldn’t stop listening. But he kept going with a whole bunch of other 80 s songs. Oh Timmy you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Timmy! Couldn’t stop laughing, sitting in my driveway. Yes, I was that crazy lady today.You do it. I bet you could come up with a dozen or more songs.

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