To find a prince you might have to kiss a lot of frogs.

by mssinglemama on December 15, 2007

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

  • You get fun packages in the mail
  • Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
  • Shipping is practically free on most sites
  • No impulse buys
  • I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
  • I think much longer before making a purchase
  • I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

  • You get fun packages in the mail
  • Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
  • Shipping is practically free on most sites
  • No impulse buys
  • I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
  • I think much longer before making a purchase
  • I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

  • You get fun packages in the mail
  • Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
  • Shipping is practically free on most sites
  • No impulse buys
  • I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
  • I think much longer before making a purchase
  • I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.
When I told my now ex-husband I was leaving him the first thing he argued about was the laptop computer. Then the video camera. Anything of monetary value. But, not once, not once did he fight for our son. I wanted him to. It got to the point that his complete apathy to the issue was actually a little shocking. Why wasn’t he worried about not seeing Benjamin? It’s been two years. Since then he has come only during his 36 hours of visitation. No more, no less. And he has always come to us – staying in our house. Because his living pattern since I left him has been as follows:

Our old apartment (evicted)

His new apartment (evicted)

His boss’ basement

His girlfriend’s place (with her 5 year old son, yes she’s a single mom)

Now that he’s been with his girlfriend for a while he has as he says, “a new family” and wants Benjamin to be a part of it. So…for the first time he want to take Benjamin during his 36 hours. Up until now he’s always stayed with us because of his scattered living pattern.

Here’s the thing – the reason why I’m totally freaked out about this. And, believe me, I always try not to be judgmental. But … here are the stats on his girlfriend.

She’s an ex-stripper.

She works at Taco Bell.

She lives in a trailer.

Her parents live behind the trailer.

Her brother lives behind theirs.

Before my Ex told her not to she used to smoke with her son in her lap!

Okay…am I crazy to want to at least see the place? Am I crazy to be freaking out about this? I haven’t spent 36 hours away from Benjamin since he was born. Not once. I don’t want to be away from him.

I know this will be great for him and for his father – for them to get some quality time together, but why does it have to be in a place I’ve never seen? I’ve asked the Ex if I can see the house – he says no. But…we’ve been talking about it and trying to work out a compromise. I just know that when he takes Benjamin there he’s going to miss me and miss being home.

I’m crossing my fingers that this won’t become a regular weekly thing. That he will just take him every once in a while. And perhaps the biggest concern is that his car is completely unreliable. It’s an $800 Chevy that’s already broken down several times.

Oh – and along with the news that the Ex has decided to take Benjamin on his days- he also told me he’s filed for bankruptcy and is therefore excused of all of the credit card debt he owes me. Wonderful.

Sorry this is a quick entry (again) I have been super, super busy. Expect many updates this weekend.
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

  • You get fun packages in the mail
  • Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
  • Shipping is practically free on most sites
  • No impulse buys
  • I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
  • I think much longer before making a purchase
  • I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

  • You get fun packages in the mail
  • Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
  • Shipping is practically free on most sites
  • No impulse buys
  • I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
  • I think much longer before making a purchase
  • I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.
When I told my now ex-husband I was leaving him the first thing he argued about was the laptop computer. Then the video camera. Anything of monetary value. But, not once, not once did he fight for our son. I wanted him to. It got to the point that his complete apathy to the issue was actually a little shocking. Why wasn’t he worried about not seeing Benjamin? It’s been two years. Since then he has come only during his 36 hours of visitation. No more, no less. And he has always come to us – staying in our house. Because his living pattern since I left him has been as follows:

Our old apartment (evicted)

His new apartment (evicted)

His boss’ basement

His girlfriend’s place (with her 5 year old son, yes she’s a single mom)

Now that he’s been with his girlfriend for a while he has as he says, “a new family” and wants Benjamin to be a part of it. So…for the first time he want to take Benjamin during his 36 hours. Up until now he’s always stayed with us because of his scattered living pattern.

Here’s the thing – the reason why I’m totally freaked out about this. And, believe me, I always try not to be judgmental. But … here are the stats on his girlfriend.

She’s an ex-stripper.

She works at Taco Bell.

She lives in a trailer.

Her parents live behind the trailer.

Her brother lives behind theirs.

Before my Ex told her not to she used to smoke with her son in her lap!

Okay…am I crazy to want to at least see the place? Am I crazy to be freaking out about this? I haven’t spent 36 hours away from Benjamin since he was born. Not once. I don’t want to be away from him.

I know this will be great for him and for his father – for them to get some quality time together, but why does it have to be in a place I’ve never seen? I’ve asked the Ex if I can see the house – he says no. But…we’ve been talking about it and trying to work out a compromise. I just know that when he takes Benjamin there he’s going to miss me and miss being home.

I’m crossing my fingers that this won’t become a regular weekly thing. That he will just take him every once in a while. And perhaps the biggest concern is that his car is completely unreliable. It’s an $800 Chevy that’s already broken down several times.

Oh – and along with the news that the Ex has decided to take Benjamin on his days- he also told me he’s filed for bankruptcy and is therefore excused of all of the credit card debt he owes me. Wonderful.

Sorry this is a quick entry (again) I have been super, super busy. Expect many updates this weekend.
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

  • You get fun packages in the mail
  • Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
  • Shipping is practically free on most sites
  • No impulse buys
  • I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
  • I think much longer before making a purchase
  • I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.
When I told my now ex-husband I was leaving him the first thing he argued about was the laptop computer. Then the video camera. Anything of monetary value. But, not once, not once did he fight for our son. I wanted him to. It got to the point that his complete apathy to the issue was actually a little shocking. Why wasn’t he worried about not seeing Benjamin? It’s been two years. Since then he has come only during his 36 hours of visitation. No more, no less. And he has always come to us – staying in our house. Because his living pattern since I left him has been as follows:

Our old apartment (evicted)

His new apartment (evicted)

His boss’ basement

His girlfriend’s place (with her 5 year old son, yes she’s a single mom)

Now that he’s been with his girlfriend for a while he has as he says, “a new family” and wants Benjamin to be a part of it. So…for the first time he want to take Benjamin during his 36 hours. Up until now he’s always stayed with us because of his scattered living pattern.

Here’s the thing – the reason why I’m totally freaked out about this. And, believe me, I always try not to be judgmental. But … here are the stats on his girlfriend.

She’s an ex-stripper.

She works at Taco Bell.

She lives in a trailer.

Her parents live behind the trailer.

Her brother lives behind theirs.

Before my Ex told her not to she used to smoke with her son in her lap!

Okay…am I crazy to want to at least see the place? Am I crazy to be freaking out about this? I haven’t spent 36 hours away from Benjamin since he was born. Not once. I don’t want to be away from him.

I know this will be great for him and for his father – for them to get some quality time together, but why does it have to be in a place I’ve never seen? I’ve asked the Ex if I can see the house – he says no. But…we’ve been talking about it and trying to work out a compromise. I just know that when he takes Benjamin there he’s going to miss me and miss being home.

I’m crossing my fingers that this won’t become a regular weekly thing. That he will just take him every once in a while. And perhaps the biggest concern is that his car is completely unreliable. It’s an $800 Chevy that’s already broken down several times.

Oh – and along with the news that the Ex has decided to take Benjamin on his days- he also told me he’s filed for bankruptcy and is therefore excused of all of the credit card debt he owes me. Wonderful.

Sorry this is a quick entry (again) I have been super, super busy. Expect many updates this weekend.
Five months after leaving my husband and before the divorce was even final I started dating again.

And now one year later I’m embarking on my first relationship post-divorce. Yes, it’s been one year of dating. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but minus a few bumps and bruises along the way it has been quite an adventure and what a prize at the end!

The most important lesson I can pass on to other dating single mamas is:

  • You will inevitably kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. But to really appreciate your prince you have to have kissed those frogs. You’re not going to find him right away. Until then…try to just relax and have fun.

When I left my husband I moved in with my mother…to my hometown – a small bustling university town in the middle of nowhere. As far as men were concerned the pickings were slim. They were either university professors (always married), college students or small town professionals. From now on I would be a completely open-minded dater. And date I did.

The Rebound

My first single mom fling was with a friend. We would spend two or three nights a week together… watching movies, talking, playing with baby Benjamin and just enjoying each other’s company. But he was much older than me…11 years older. And he really wasn’t my type. A biker. A biker who lived in the woods, completely alone wtih his seven dogs. I knew there was no chance this could ever turn into a serious relationship. But I had to get back out there and why not with a friend? He was also just what the doctor ordered – a tough, strong man who hated jerks like my ex-husband. That was sexy.

One night we were sitting on the couch and started cuddling. I could tell he wanted to kiss me and I kept dodging his lean-ins. Then I thought to myself, “I have to do this, I have to kiss this man, I have to move on.” And so I did. It was amazing. Such a release to just be with someone else and to realize that I still knew how to kiss. We dated for about a month and a half. In the end it just fizzled out, as all rebounds do. The fireworks were gone and we both moved on. This particular man, is a prince, just not my prince.

Let the dating begin…

With my first single mama fling over with I was ready to jump back in the saddle and go out on real “dates”…or so I thought. I was pushing it before I was really ready. I just wanted it to end. I wanted to find him…so desperately. Too desperately. If I saw a man who was even slightly attractive I’d look for a ring – it seemed like they all had one. Why was everyone married but me? Why was I alone? What on earth had I done to deserve this?

I’m sure the men could sense my desperation. They could probably smell it from a mile away. And when the town is only six miles wide that’s a problem.

Beam me up, Scottie!

After too many bad dates and heartaches I decided I’d outgrown the small town men. I had recently been rejected again over e-mail… so I sent an e-mail of my own – to a headhunter. Miraculously – he had an opening for me and three weeks later I was back in the city where single, young happy men were everywhere.

Unfortunately the city men were just as messed up as the small town guys. One had a major porn addiction and couldn’t even – you know – with me. I met the other one through a friend and then spotted him on Match.com – and active while we were dating and sleeping together.

My friends didn’t seem to think this was a big deal – “did you ask him if you were exclusive?”

“No!” I belted, “Was I supposed to?”

“Hell yes. This is the city – remember? No one is exclusive until you talk about it. And you can’t call him so often.”

The rules. All of these rules. That was one nice thing about the small town the rules didn’t seem so tough. You either liked each other or you didn’t – or you were just extremely messed up in the head. But games like this were beyond me.

I was hurt. I was tired of it. Two little mini-relationships were enough and then I resolved to just be single forever…well, not forever, but I realized that being single really wasn’t that bad. I was happy. I was content. And that’s when I met Kris.

He calls me all of the time. He answers when I call. Okay, these are the basics but when you’re dating they become variables. He actually watches Benjamin so I can go out with the girls or go shopping. He makes me laugh – A LOT. He is so attentive to my moods and respectful of my work load and life load. He asks about Benjamin. He cares about us both. And he’s young… oh, and sexy. God is he sexy. I’ll have to commit an entire entry to this young guy thing because I completely recommend it.

The bottom line – while you’re a dating single mom – be patient, have fun, and then enjoy your prince…he’s on his way. Don’t worry. Just get rid of the frogs when one plops on your door step – don’t waste your time. As soon as it gets annoying or stressful toss him out with the dirty bath water.

UPDATE:

Kris and I dated for 6-months and thoroughly enjoyed each other the entire time. He will always be a really good friend of mine. So now I’m dating again… looking again for that elusive prince and trying to remind myself that one may exist.

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josh March 22, 2013 at 8:48 pm

This is a great artical! But here’s the thing… So I recently started dating this single mother who is a few years older than me. Things where awesome until things got “real” and we both started getting feelings for each other. Then she went into mommy surviaval mode and said she doesn’t wanna get involved with some one. She wants to focus on her carrier and build a better life for her and munchkin. Which I totaly get! My mom was a sinlge mom for a bit. Its these things about her that t attract me even more to her. It is safe to say that I quickly fell for a single mom.

I have the upmost respect for her as a person and as a mother. But I am a strong minded person and know an AMAZING woman when I see one. And though I could not begin to know the challenges we would face together I just have this feeling that we would get through them. And thus lies my deliema. I wanna keep doing little things that show I care about her but I also don’t wanna be like “that guy that won’t leave me alone”. What’s the line? Is there one? Am I over thinking this or is this a test to see if I will stay around

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