His father wants to take him…I’m freaking out.

by mssinglemama on December 14, 2007

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

  • You get fun packages in the mail
  • Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
  • Shipping is practically free on most sites
  • No impulse buys
  • I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
  • I think much longer before making a purchase
  • I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant
I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

I am a self-professed dating expert (I’ve been around the block way too many times) but by no means am I a relationship expert. My marriage was a whirlwind green card wedding and resulted in the longest relationship I’ve ever had – two years, but only because we were legally bound. If not I would have run away screaming after just four or five months. Relationships scare me to death.

I want what my parents had, but I don’t know how to make it happen. How many years does it take? I would imagine quite a few. There’s no walking off in to the sunset fairytale ending. Relationships take work, time and nurturing. So how in the hell is a single mother supposed to manage a relationship on top of everything else?

The thing is, I think my current boyfriend is by far the most worthy of me giving it everything I have. The others were quickly tossed aside because they just didn’t fit and there was no long term potential. Sounds harsh but I know every single mom would understand that. So, here I am, in my first serious relationship since the divorce and I don’t really know what to do. I also fear I’m slipping into my “okay – it’s getting a little bit tough so sabotage the hell out of it until he dumps me” mode.

There’s something else, another reason why I may be more relationship phobic than most. My father died of cancer when I was just 21. The pain was immeasurable and eventually just became this numbness in my heart. I lost a part of myself when he died. I never want to feel that pain again. If I feel myself becoming close to someone I think this numbness inside of me actually only lets it get so far – before I push it away – as a defense mechanism. I don’t want to lose someone again.

Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

  • You get fun packages in the mail
  • Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
  • Shipping is practically free on most sites
  • No impulse buys
  • I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
  • I think much longer before making a purchase
  • I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.
Brad Pitt! Who recently said in a Larry King interview that he may be taking some time away from acting…that he has more important things to focus on now, i.e. the kids and his wife along with charity work. Just a little studly…don’t you agree?

So I had to post this portion of the interview. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark and you’ll hear him on being a father to kids who aren’t “his blood.” This inspires me for some reason. Just because she was a single mama when they met. And now her kids are like his own. Nice.


This preview seems a bit cheesy to me. No hints on the plot here other than – duh! – Carrie’s getting married. Would have at least liked to hear a few quirky one-liners or something. Just had to post this because I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan.

Do you think the movie is a bad or a good idea? Read an excellent article on that debate right here. But first, watch the preview. Personally, they’ll have to try harder than this to actually get this single mama’s butt into a movie theatre.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdKGNEbU5II]
My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.
I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

  • You get fun packages in the mail
  • Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
  • Shipping is practically free on most sites
  • No impulse buys
  • I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
  • I think much longer before making a purchase
  • I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.
When I told my now ex-husband I was leaving him the first thing he argued about was the laptop computer. Then the video camera. Anything of monetary value. But, not once, not once did he fight for our son. I wanted him to. It got to the point that his complete apathy to the issue was actually a little shocking. Why wasn’t he worried about not seeing Benjamin? It’s been two years. Since then he has come only during his 36 hours of visitation. No more, no less. And he has always come to us – staying in our house. Because his living pattern since I left him has been as follows:

Our old apartment (evicted)

His new apartment (evicted)

His boss’ basement

His girlfriend’s place (with her 5 year old son, yes she’s a single mom)

Now that he’s been with his girlfriend for a while he has as he says, “a new family” and wants Benjamin to be a part of it. So…for the first time he want to take Benjamin during his 36 hours. Up until now he’s always stayed with us because of his scattered living pattern.

Here’s the thing – the reason why I’m totally freaked out about this. And, believe me, I always try not to be judgmental. But … here are the stats on his girlfriend.

She’s an ex-stripper.

She works at Taco Bell.

She lives in a trailer.

Her parents live behind the trailer.

Her brother lives behind theirs.

Before my Ex told her not to she used to smoke with her son in her lap!

Okay…am I crazy to want to at least see the place? Am I crazy to be freaking out about this? I haven’t spent 36 hours away from Benjamin since he was born. Not once. I don’t want to be away from him.

I know this will be great for him and for his father – for them to get some quality time together, but why does it have to be in a place I’ve never seen? I’ve asked the Ex if I can see the house – he says no. But…we’ve been talking about it and trying to work out a compromise. I just know that when he takes Benjamin there he’s going to miss me and miss being home.

I’m crossing my fingers that this won’t become a regular weekly thing. That he will just take him every once in a while. And perhaps the biggest concern is that his car is completely unreliable. It’s an $800 Chevy that’s already broken down several times.

Oh – and along with the news that the Ex has decided to take Benjamin on his days- he also told me he’s filed for bankruptcy and is therefore excused of all of the credit card debt he owes me. Wonderful.

Sorry this is a quick entry (again) I have been super, super busy. Expect many updates this weekend.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

ladonnamobile December 15, 2007 at 6:29 am

My sister’s husband only visited his children so sporadically that she got his parental rights taken away! In our state (check your state laws) if one year goes by without any “meaningful contact” a parent can lose their parental rights.

In the case of my sister’s ex, he had visited, but not interacted with the children. Witnesses to his visits (she enlisted non-family visitors to observe and testify in court) told how he just sat on the sofa watching television, so the judge declared his visits “unmeaningful” and he lost all right to visit the kids. The downside: once the court delcared him a non-parent, my sister lost all rights to child support; she didn’t mind because he never paid anyway.

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Shailesh February 3, 2015 at 1:00 pm

Hi Susan, thanks for shiarng such lovely and special photos! You have given me lots of inspiration as I plan my son’s 3rd party too. I was wondering if you could tell me where you got the fish netting for the tables. Also, I most likely will use Chickabug for printables. However, for the large signs, yours look like they are done via a printing shop vs. at home.Thanks again, Wendy

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