E-Harmony Really Does Suck: Worst web site of the year by Time Magazine

by mssinglemama on December 10, 2007

My experience with E-Harmony over the past year has been a continuous disappointment. I think it’s one of the biggest scams out there, preying on innocent singles who are truly looking for love. Therefore, I want to keep getting the word out there to avoid the site all together. Instead sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com have served myself and my friends much better. Also, just discovered Oodle, which collects all of the personal posts in your area. So you can see who is who and where their personal ad is listed.

Because in the end, the E-Harmony matching system is a joke. And Time Magazine agrees, they’ve named Eharmony.com as the worst web site of 2007. Read the article, here.

Related posts:

  1. E-harmony Dating Review: for the single parent or any other dater
  2. The Single Mama Stud of the Year award goes too…
  3. E-Harmony’s Matches are Dead Wrong
  4. Online Dating: Rules of Thumb

{ 41 comments… read them below or add one }

Dawn December 11, 2007 at 7:33 pm

Ughhh…I agree. I was only matched to people who lived in far away places. I live in Ohio…1 guy lived in Alaska, and another lived in Hawaii. The rest of them were in between with only 1 from Ohio.

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Arm Jerker J. December 28, 2007 at 2:24 am

Ug. I’m considering eharmony. Now I’m not so sure. What now?!

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mssinglemama December 28, 2007 at 8:47 am

If you live in a large, large city might be better. Have you tried Match or Yahoo? I just know that relying on a crock matching system is not going to get you anywhere. If you like anonymity – I know Match has an option to make it so that you aren’t listed … but you can search other listings. That’s kind of nice. EHarmony is just filled with inactive members which is why so many people are unsatisfied. If there is anyone out there who’s had a good one – please let me know.

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PaulDPearl March 8, 2009 at 10:32 am

I think I know why there's so many unactive users.. they're all just like me, unwilling to pay before I see what I'm going to get.. eHarmony doesn't let you view the pictures of the matched profiles…. eHarmony is a joke…

if you're not going to have a picture you'd at least want a body type, right? (both boys and girls, I think, can agree with that). eHarmony didn't ask me for my weight… BZZZZ red flag……

It did nail my personality – which is interesting. It may be worth it to fill in all the answers, then copy and paste your personality information to an alternative dating stie, match.com or singlesnet.com or some Yahoo (didn't know Yahoo did online dating?).

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boomerzhx55 January 21, 2008 at 9:36 am

I checked out eharmony. I don’t like its complex registration. And I don’t think its matching system can work for singles. Too many women but few of men there.

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Ray January 29, 2008 at 2:58 am

Indeed, eharmony does suck. I spent THREE NIGHTS SOLID filling out their voluminous questionaires and when I got thru, they said they could not match me. This is in spite of the fact that I have good kids. They and my large extended family love me and each other and we have all lived generally wholesome middle class lives.
Does that mean there is no one else in their “great” database that comes even close??! Or that their matching method is really limited?
Or is it that I am a REALLY twisted person … probably weirder that ozy osborne. Thank you e-disharmony.

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Alan February 19, 2008 at 4:02 am

Eharmony is bad. I have been on it for a month and I am matched with people that are all looking for a, “committed Christian.” I have not been to church in 10 years. I am definitely not what they are looking for. Their site is always going down too.

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mlabossi March 3, 2008 at 8:08 pm

They do allege to have a great matching system, but (anecdotally) the dozen or so people I’ve spoken with about it expressed this general view: the matches it made did not fit what they were looking for. For example, one person who is very liberal and not very religious kept getting matched constantly with very conservative fundamentalists. One of my friends joked that she thought it was a cult conspiracy.

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Margaret May 27, 2008 at 8:46 pm

Eharmony is horrendous.

Believe me, I am a super normal, middle of the road, very responsible, working parent.

The men that I met on eharmony told me about the volumes of dates that are sent to them. We women pay the same price for the service and get really few matchs. That means we woman are getting royally screwed!!!!

The only time they “pour” on the matchs are when they get the cancellation notcice.

They “use” woman by creating hope, how disgusting. I have finally figured them out.

MT

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John June 22, 2008 at 3:13 pm

I paid $250 to eharmony.com for 1 year membership. Then I tried to use RelyID from eHARMony which FAILED but I got charged $5.95 twice! eHarmony, RelyID and Paypal refused to refund my money! Eharmony kept all $250 + $5.95 + $5/95 of mine no mater how many times I called. Also eHarmony told me I’ve been on a 3 day (that’s right, not 30 day, but three day) trial and it expired. Paypal refused my chargebacks stating it was intangible goods, so they can’t help me. Paypal never refunded any of my money ever and even hen I got scammed as a seller they just withdrew the scammer’s charged back money from my Paypal account… So much about “buyer protection” from Paypal and so much “service” from Eharmony.

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Angie June 28, 2008 at 5:37 pm

I know this is an OLD blog, but I just had a run in with eHArmony. I had the one year subscription that just got auto-renewed on the 23rd. $250!!!! I called the 24th and explained I don’t use the service (which they confirmed with my last login Nov. of ’07) and wanted to cancel and be refunded.

They said it’s against their policy and they couldn’t refund my money since I never unchecked the auto-renew button on my profile. WTF – I hadn’t even logged in to uncheck anything!!

Anywho – I cried and said it was unacceptable, I wouldn’t have food to put on the table for my children and they thought this was OK? (It helped that my kids were home, came in the room and said “mommy, why are you crying?”)

They ended up refunding, against their policy. BUT – you, and all your readers – make sure you uncheck auto-renew….f-ing eHarmony!!!!!

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Ekka August 27, 2011 at 9:04 pm

Old Blog, but they are still doing exactly the same thing, just got stung!!!!

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Furious Consumer July 22, 2008 at 1:13 am

eHarmony is the WORST! They send you profiles of old members as matches, never seek to satisfy their customers, nothing. It’s the worse commercial SCAM ever. I’ve had it for less than a month, hate it, my matches are SOOO not for me. I could find a better woman in the neighborhood crackhouse (joke, lol). Anywho, please don’t waste your money. I signed up for a year but a payment plan, I’m changing my debit card number so they can’t get the 2nd and 3rd payment of 80 bucks each. They won’t refund under any circumstance, it seems. I guess they will have to take me to court or try to put it on my credit history. We’ll see, either way, the dispute should be fun.

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Galina August 5, 2008 at 1:44 pm

I just wrote an article about my friend Sophie’s experience with eHarmony … falling FLAT. It’s ridiculous … She lives in NYC and they were telling her that she should increase her distance. Check out the article for a good laugh. This company is going down fast.
http://heartsareeverywhere.blogspot.com/2008/08/eharmony-falls-flat.html

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Level_Headed August 5, 2008 at 3:50 pm

Hey Single Mama,
I have to “Kind of”, respectively disagree with your review of E-Harmony. The reason I say “kind of” is that while It’s fair to say that E_Harmony does not live up to it’s hype, I feel it’s unfair for Time to give it a “Worst” ranking of the year. (join PlentyofFish.com if you want to experience just plain AWFUL!).

I’ve used E-Harmony off and on since 2000.(and used on line dating WAY before it was “cool” to do so, back in 1996–just as the World Wide Web was coming to life).

I’ve found the people I’ve been “Matched” with on E-Harmony to be of very high Caliber(i.e. MD’s, Lawyers, etc.). I point this out because I feel “those people” are not the people who would post on Match or Yahoo.

In addition, the people I’ve met face to face all seemed normal.

I think the problem that we all have with online Dating is we’re all given “Too Many Choices”.
It’s called “The Paradox of Choice”–http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Paradox_of_Choice

So, the ISSUE is the OVERWHELMING number of choices that you have sort through, then make, that you could not POSSIBLY make “in the real world”. I just did a quick search on Match.com, within 5 miles of my zip code, it found over 500 possible matches in my age range!

Finally, I think one reason women might have more to complain about when using E-Harmony is that they outnumber men 2:1
67% Female / 37% Male
http://www.quantcast.com/eharmony.com

Just something to consider……
Jason

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Level_Headed August 5, 2008 at 4:03 pm

P.S.
Although I must admit that this review of E-Harmony’s Advertising is “Spot On”.

http://adweek.blogs.com/adfreak/2006/10/do_eharmonycoms.html

eHarmony ads are utterly repulsive!!!

From the charlatan doctor in their ads, to the pathetic hollywood scripted relationships between actors who don’t know one another’s names, much less one other, all overlayed upon the cheesiest background music and jingle in the advertising industry…sickening.

It’s like “K-Fed gets introduced to Brittany Spears through a Richard Simmons commercial website…”

What a waste time, and internet bandwidth…!!!

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Randy October 15, 2008 at 8:43 am

DON’T get near eHarmony!!! They are crooks from the word go. When I discovered it’s a scam, I called for a refund, and their response was. “You only have seven days for a refund.” This was 11 days in!

I tried to get the $10 rebate, was run around in circles for three weeks, then, when I sent it in, I was sent a magazine subscription I did not want instead of the money.

Now, they have shut down their customer service phone number, so I can’t even call to complain!

AVOID eHarmony !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Tricia January 30, 2009 at 10:18 pm

EHarmony is horrible!! I spent several months on this website and never found anyone! Scam!!

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chickeepie May 30, 2009 at 5:31 pm

I was matched up to a man who was attractive, fun, loving, had a good job, many wonderful friends, and seemingly-character. After marrying him, he seemed to withdraw, was hard to please, and 9 months later he told me that he was only staying in the marriage out of commitment not love. Found out he was emailing ex. I emailed his ex and found out how awful he had been to her and all of the lies he had perpetuated through our marriage. Through short lived marriage counseling I also found out he had a personality disorder! I RAN to get a divorce. People beware: Eharmony or not we do not know who these people are. Take your time, ask for references, and take some more time. Watch for every red flag.

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B August 29, 2009 at 8:57 am

I thought eHarmony was great. I received tons of matches of people with the same interests. I am now married with the woman on met on the website.

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susan August 31, 2009 at 6:56 am

E harmony was the biggest waste of money. i did it for 6 months and never met anyone or communicated with anyone. Most of the men they sent me were not appealing at all. On average they would send me 1 a week but with 1 week to go on my membership all of a sudden I received probably 10 and then another 5 the day after my member ship expired. Do not sign up warn your friends

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srichey December 24, 2009 at 6:16 pm

Came across this and had to comment.
I tried eHarmony for a while and it did suck. I used match and ended up going on about 2 dates per week which were mostly amiable. Dating and meeting the right person is a numbers game and all eHarmony seemed to do was filter me out from meeting people. Oh yeah, I did meet someone through match and we have been married for over 3 years now. Glad to be out of the dating game.

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Trevor February 21, 2010 at 9:51 pm

E-Harmony is bullshit.

Wish I hadn’t done it.

The matching system is a joke.

They are thieves.

Worst $134 I’ve ever spent on nothing.

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Anonymous February 22, 2010 at 6:39 pm

Eharmony Sucks!! not recommended to anyone

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BAD~ March 20, 2010 at 7:48 pm

Aweful site. It was so slow, they few matches i did have took seriously 5 minutes just to load…and it wasnt my computer. Had the creepiest people sent to me and lots of out of state matches. The main page of my account is very hard to navigate, and before you can get rid of a match you dont like, you have to give reasons why and select all this crap to get them out of your list. I just cant believe how slow the site is. I gave up. What a waste of money.

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Max June 7, 2010 at 10:21 am

So I spend several hours filling out all the questionnaires. At the end they have showed me about 7 profiles, but I wasn’t able see photos or send messages. Sing of scam. I thought OK, since I have seen so many adds from them, maybe I should pay for a month of membership and see how it works, although I don’t trust those kind of web site, the web is full with a scam stories, but I have discovered that you have to pay for at least 3 month!!! When I write about my concerns to their customer services they offered me BIG discount to pay them around $60 for 3 month. Well, to me it is a another flag for scam. Thank fully I did not paid and made some research on the web and I have discovered that after you pay, all your matches will be “not-very-attractive-type ones” and plain “ugly” or form far, far away.

I guess they are good in physiology, after a man spends so much time on creating profile, it would be much harder to cancel your profile, and easier to pay and see those mysterious perfect matches.

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DL August 29, 2010 at 12:30 pm

I just tried to join e-harmony. Went thru the questionnaires, started to fill out the profile, then ran out of time & figured I’d get back to it. Today I get an e-mail from them telling me they’ve canceled my account. No explanation and the e-mail basically said don’t bother trying to find out why (okay, that’s not verbatim, but the gist of the message). I thought…..WTF? So then I find out from my sister that she’d just gotten the same e-mail from them. She’s been a member for awhile, i.e. not a new member like me. The only thing we can figure is that they think we are the same person, trying to post two different profiles. We are twins, so we share a birthdate, as well as live very near to each other (so maybe the address was similar). Plus, we have e-mail addresses that are almost identical…….again, because we’re twins (we do dumb stuff like that). All I can say is that I am SO glad I hadn’t yet paid for a membership. Any site that would automatically drop someone without explanation or investigation? Is a scam in my book.

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James Anthony November 25, 2010 at 8:34 am

Eharmony is so BS. I signed up and was matched with nothing but fat, obese, out of shape dirt bags. I believe as the other blogger said, that there is better in a crackhouse! I swear I got 6 to 8 fat chicks a day, which would be alright, if I was a fat POS, but I am not. I am 35, in shape, no kids, good looking, have a six figure salary. Why do I want a fat chick? They said that is not included in their 29 dimensions. I kept complaining and the finally kicked me off yesterday. The only thing I can say is that they refunded my 137.00 and I did not even ask for it. Finally they go something right! So if you are a fat, out of shape dirtbag, eharmony has a lot to offer you, but if you take pride in the way you look……….be it known that there is little chance of success on this dating site.

By the way I told them after I got the rely ID I did not ask for, that maybe I would get 2 more fat chicks a day. I also asked if they would throw in one flaming homosexual queer once a week and a circus midget since I did not ask for that either. That was the straw that broke their back.

Stay away from these crap bags. Unless fat girls is your thing!

Regards,

James

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Lee June 24, 2011 at 1:30 am

If you are looking for dirt cheapest way to online date then eHarmony is definetly not the way to go. Many of the criticisms here are spot on. The fact you only get to take the personality test once and the large number of dead accounts are real issues. They have put in a feature that tells you when the person last logged in. I do find the anonymity valuable, especially as compared to the others where pretty much everyone in the world can see your profile.

The also play up the “looks aren’t everything” deal but that is crap as in most relationships physical attraction probably counts for 40% or more of the relationship. That is just their way of matching you with fat and/or unattractive people and trying to make you feel good about it.

I think one of the problems is geography. It is probably unrealistic if you live in the sticks to think any website can magically drum up local single compatable people for you. I’m a guy living in a metro area and have had no problem getting large numbers of “matches” on that site. Many of which turn into real dates. I will say it takes work. Sometimes you go a few weeks without a bite but I also had a few weeks where I met a number of women out each week.

The 29 dimensions thing is a little bit BS but I look at it as a course filter nt a magic test that will “find my soulmate”. If you are honest with the test, and hopefully your “matches” are also, then it does filter out people you probably should not bother with. The list you are left with are still not necessarily compatible but it is better than blind, which Match and some of the others are like.

Another thing to remember, is that a lot of people on there do not have a healthy outlook for a relationship. There is a reason people get into their 30′s, 40′s, and 50′s and have never been married. They are constantly trying to “trade up” or hold out for the “perfect” person. It will never happen and they will be 80 yrs old and still sifting through people who would probably be interesting to them if they just gave them half a chance.

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Marsha June 24, 2011 at 9:18 am

It’s a sham. Like, if you put you don’t want smokers, they’ll send you “flexible matches” aka smokers. I think all I got was flexible matches, which meant I NEVER got what I wanted. The people I did try to contact, never got back to me which really wears down your self-esteem over time. I agree with Time magazine, that E-Harmony causes nothing but despair. (BTW…no IMing on this site either).

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joey July 28, 2011 at 2:16 am

They matched me up with a few different women everyday, none that I made a connection with beyond a few message exchanges. after six months I complained, they gave me six more months, nothing changed, I’m out of there for good. I do not understand their rating system, even though they pegged me ‘right on’ through the survey, my matches were not ‘right on’, they were all out in left field. still disgusted years later about it. The women I meet in my everyday life are so much better.

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Ekka August 27, 2011 at 9:18 pm

Wish I had read this before. A big sham, worst thing is their automatic renewal which is the DEFAULT. Was told I had chosen it. Why would I when i had about 3 matches for the whole six months, and they lived 20 000 km’s away.

@ Lee, I am one of the ‘disfunctional’ 40 plus year olds. I don’t want to get in an argument on this site, but I am quite normal, have had several long term relationships, but I am now single and quite a functional human being. There is nothing ‘wrong’ with me and I’m not trading up, or looking for the perfect person. I am quite a normal person who just happen to have never been married.

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Cnasty December 2, 2011 at 9:51 pm

No crap. I was one of the richest hottest single guys in Houston and I didn’t get a single match. I am going to ruin that website.

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James99 May 16, 2012 at 12:27 am

Hello eHarmony members, please note that I agree eHarmony is the worst company ever BUT there are valuable people, agents working there to help you in finding someone but in the coming years the service that you expect from eHarmony will fall..i know it sounds stupid but its true agents are working under pressure and we need your help in stopping this. Here is the fact, normally agents are being noted via csat ( named as Survey) the survey that you send evaluates the agent. Things such as refund policy, matches outside distance and matches who are ugly as well are being pointed out as the agent’s fault EVEN IF ITS THE EHARMONY SYSTEM WHICH IS CRAP! so what will happen in the coming weeks the company will fire some agents and many more because of the csat that people give out might be due to lack of comprehension while filling them, what i would advise you if you really love what these agents do with all their heart kindly take the time to evaluate correctly what they do for example if you fill a csat as fair this is considered as the worst csat ever..so my advice would be that when you get the answer try to understand the pressure and the job critics i really love these agents that why i am still at eHarmony :) they do a fantastic job.. so when ever you receive a survey please rate it according to what has been said for example good or excellent but if it did not answer your query simply fill it poor there is no shame in it but as i said please understand the agent’s as they are doing their best..thanks

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anna May 24, 2013 at 6:05 am

The Worst! I signed up for a year and what a waste! I live in a big city! You cant pick who your are interested in. They sent you people you would never go out with. The site is slow and very non user friendly. I had not checked in for months. When I did the same ole matches were all that was there. It is a lot of trouble to delate a match so they just pile up. I am so sorry I signed up with them. What a waste of time and money.

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ann June 30, 2013 at 9:36 pm

eharmony is the very worst site that ever was! You think it is like all the other great dating sites….NOT!!!! You cant choose and find a match! They do it for you!!! ugh! and gross!!! the worst!!! total y despair!!!! Then there is no way to even contact them….this is utter fraud!!! dont waste your money!!!!!!

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eSHAMory or eSHAMEory :) August 28, 2013 at 9:41 am

I just spend all of an eternity completing my profile after being hounded by eHarmony television ads.. Like a good little Lemming I decided to give it a go.. FINALLY you complete your profile and they DO NOT EVEN LET YOU SEE YOUR MATCHES UNTIL YOU PAY!!!! What a JOKE! And let me guess, this should not matter cos the site matches you on personality is it? Looks are not important? Okay.. So if that is the case, then why does eSHAMory ‘bait’ you into paying, just to see a photo…. Ridiculous. All the sites have their drawbacks but this one takes the cake then adds marzipan for good measure. All the best in your dating endeavours peoples.

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Knew it was a bad idea January 27, 2014 at 6:29 pm

Man, I knew I shouldn’t have signed up. Every fiber of my being was fighting any desire to do it (but my best friend talked me into it because I have been in town a year and work from my home office and just feel like I will never meet anyone – even as a friend!). I have been a member for less than 3 weeks and have seen nothing but homely, overweight, redneck (or worse!) men. I am so pissed and disgusted. Not ONE guy they have sent a profile for even comes close to someone I would be interested. So, now I’m just another person who appears to be a loser listed on their site. They, of course, still want to charge me all three payments for a year membership. I am so mad I can’t see straight! Part of me wants to keep my profile info up because I’m paying for it, but most of me wants delete all info and have no images posted so they can’t use me as bait to get men (all whom appear to be homely and desperate) to join their site. Ugh!!!

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