Comments on: I hate playdates. http://mssinglemama.com/2007/12/03/i-hate-playdates/ Single Mom Dating? Real advice from a real single mom. Mon, 21 May 2012 18:45:47 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: christy longhttp://mssinglemama.com/2007/12/03/i-hate-playdates/#comment-32635 christy long Tue, 27 Sep 2011 18:47:52 +0000 http://mssinglemama.wordpress.com/2007/12/03/i-hate-playdates/#comment-32635 i just had a playdate this morning at my house. its was uncomfortable, the two women were cheerful and happy and creepy...........i just need my son to have more social interaction but women are annoying! im an army wife from the bay area cali- and im not into what these other moms are into, -shopping, makeup and talking about having more babies!! population crisis people! ugh i just had a playdate this morning at my house. its was uncomfortable, the two women were cheerful and happy and creepy………..i just need my son to have more social interaction but women are annoying! im an army wife from the bay area cali- and im not into what these other moms are into, -shopping, makeup and talking about having more babies!! population crisis people! ugh

]]> By: Elliehttp://mssinglemama.com/2007/12/03/i-hate-playdates/#comment-27977 Ellie Mon, 18 Jul 2011 07:20:00 +0000 http://mssinglemama.wordpress.com/2007/12/03/i-hate-playdates/#comment-27977 You people sound a bit mean and cynical. I have a single child and playdates in the holidays are an essential for her. Having said that, if a parent asked for a playdate and you are not interested, for gods sake just say no. The parents will be fine with that and they will just organise something else. The worst thing you can do is not say no because you don't want to be seen as being unfriendly and then cancel on the day with a weak excuse because the playdate is so extremely low on your priority list (I think that happened to me today). That is very annoying and very stressful. You people sound a bit mean and cynical. I have a single child and playdates in the holidays are an essential for her. Having said that, if a parent asked for a playdate and you are not interested, for gods sake just say no. The parents will be fine with that and they will just organise something else. The worst thing you can do is not say no because you don’t want to be seen as being unfriendly and then cancel on the day with a weak excuse because the playdate is so extremely low on your priority list (I think that happened to me today). That is very annoying and very stressful.

]]> By: Sharahttp://mssinglemama.com/2007/12/03/i-hate-playdates/#comment-17897 Shara Wed, 16 Jun 2010 03:38:58 +0000 http://mssinglemama.wordpress.com/2007/12/03/i-hate-playdates/#comment-17897 My daughter is in a K-1 combo class. My daughter is a first grader who is friends with one of kindergarten students in the class. The kindergarten students only go to school for half a day (8 am -12 pm) Monday through Friday, while the first graders go to class from 8 am -2:20 pm Monday through Thursday, and a half day on Fridays. The mother of the K student above keeps asking me to get her daughter and my daughter together Monday-Thursdays when I already told her that my daughter has homework and is tired and hungry after school on those days. I keep telling her that Fridays are best for me, but she keeps forgetting or she just wants her way. Once a child is in the first grade, they spend 30 plus hours a week with their classmates, and I don't see why playdates are needed during the nine months of school. I think that playdates should be reserved for the Summertime when boredom and loneliness sometimes take over from lack of school. I'm only anti-playdate from late August until June, after that I am more open-minded about these seemingly manufactured friendships. My daughter is in a K-1 combo class. My daughter is a first grader who is friends with one of kindergarten students in the class. The kindergarten students only go to school for half a day (8 am -12 pm) Monday through Friday, while the first graders go to class from 8 am -2:20 pm Monday through Thursday, and a half day on Fridays.
The mother of the K student above keeps asking me to get her daughter and my daughter together Monday-Thursdays when I already told her that my daughter has homework and is tired and hungry after school on those days. I keep telling her that Fridays are best for me, but she keeps forgetting or she just wants her way.
Once a child is in the first grade, they spend 30 plus hours a week with their classmates, and I don’t see why playdates are needed during the nine months of school. I think that playdates should be reserved for the Summertime when boredom and loneliness sometimes take over from lack of school. I’m only anti-playdate from late August until June, after that I am more open-minded about these seemingly manufactured friendships.

]]> By: LilyoftheValleyhttp://mssinglemama.com/2007/12/03/i-hate-playdates/#comment-17118 LilyoftheValley Tue, 04 May 2010 04:18:19 +0000 http://mssinglemama.wordpress.com/2007/12/03/i-hate-playdates/#comment-17118 Amen! I, too, hate playdates with a deep passion. It's awkward, it's uncomfortable, it's weird. The few I've hosted have never turned out well. There's really only one girl my daughter plays well with. Her mom is a friend of mine, but she is working part time this year and has a baby to care for. Most playdates turn out disastrous. My kids aren't used to having other kids here. My daughter (7), who asks for playdates with particular kids in her class, always ends up unhappy for some reason or other. After her last one (where one of the Alpha girls from her class came over to our house) she said she just didn't like it when her relaxing time was messed with. I agree that kids should have enough time to socialize at school, but it seems that the social groups and cliques are being formed outside of school, and if you're not active in those groups outside of school, your child isn't going to be included at school. It really sucks. Add to the mix that my kid is really bright, reading and writing at a much higher level than others in her cohort, and you really have problems. Recently, we've been reading Laura Ingalls Wilder's "Little House in the Big Woods" to each other, and she pointed out that Laura and Mary had a grand old time playing just the two of them, and how it's just like how she and her brother (5) have the best time playing just them two. My son, who has no "spectrum" issues whatsoever, is verbal, related, and has a rich imagination, is perfectly content playing alone, with me, or with his sister. He likes playing with other kids at school, but prefers playing with boys in the older pre-school class. The school psychologist tells me, on the one hand, that really bright children often have difficulty playing with other kids, but "encourages" me to get him more socially active beyond his school experiences. But isn't that just putting the kid into more stress situations? When do kids ever get to relax any more? I really don't think the playdate thing is a necessity. I suspect it's a nice system of mutual childcare and babysitting that's been euphemized to be the key form of child socialization in the US. I also resent that it falls mainly on the moms to deal with the details of playdates. Amen! I, too, hate playdates with a deep passion. It’s awkward, it’s uncomfortable, it’s weird. The few I’ve hosted have never turned out well. There’s really only one girl my daughter plays well with. Her mom is a friend of mine, but she is working part time this year and has a baby to care for. Most playdates turn out disastrous. My kids aren’t used to having other kids here. My daughter (7), who asks for playdates with particular kids in her class, always ends up unhappy for some reason or other. After her last one (where one of the Alpha girls from her class came over to our house) she said she just didn’t like it when her relaxing time was messed with. I agree that kids should have enough time to socialize at school, but it seems that the social groups and cliques are being formed outside of school, and if you’re not active in those groups outside of school, your child isn’t going to be included at school. It really sucks. Add to the mix that my kid is really bright, reading and writing at a much higher level than others in her cohort, and you really have problems. Recently, we’ve been reading Laura Ingalls Wilder’s “Little House in the Big Woods” to each other, and she pointed out that Laura and Mary had a grand old time playing just the two of them, and how it’s just like how she and her brother (5) have the best time playing just them two. My son, who has no “spectrum” issues whatsoever, is verbal, related, and has a rich imagination, is perfectly content playing alone, with me, or with his sister. He likes playing with other kids at school, but prefers playing with boys in the older pre-school class. The school psychologist tells me, on the one hand, that really bright children often have difficulty playing with other kids, but “encourages” me to get him more socially active beyond his school experiences. But isn’t that just putting the kid into more stress situations? When do kids ever get to relax any more?

I really don’t think the playdate thing is a necessity. I suspect it’s a nice system of mutual childcare and babysitting that’s been euphemized to be the key form of child socialization in the US. I also resent that it falls mainly on the moms to deal with the details of playdates.

]]> By: Vihttp://mssinglemama.com/2007/12/03/i-hate-playdates/#comment-17093 Vi Mon, 03 May 2010 08:10:09 +0000 http://mssinglemama.wordpress.com/2007/12/03/i-hate-playdates/#comment-17093 ahh, what a relief, the yoke, the massive burden of guilt has been lifted after all these years...thank you...what is so charming, sweet, innocent, fun, exciting, child oriented, as having a mother walk into your home,...and the fun begins..china pattern evaluated, paintings/portraits calculated, ohhh the painstaking agony we go thru as mothers so our children can have a friend in the home...what is the purpose? Our child is happy, gets along everyone, ...I agree with previously posted comments, I have been used as a babysitter, I have had to deal with hitters/verbally abusive kids,(which are the ones that are somehow getting the playdates)...I wish in so many ways we lived back in the good ol days when there were friendly good neighbors/kids our kids could just go outside and play with..or was that simply an illusion... ahh, what a relief, the yoke, the massive burden of guilt has been lifted after all these years…thank you…what is so charming, sweet, innocent, fun, exciting, child oriented, as having a mother walk into your home,…and the fun begins..china pattern evaluated, paintings/portraits calculated, ohhh the painstaking agony we go thru as mothers so our children can have a friend in the home…what is the purpose? Our child is happy, gets along everyone, …I agree with previously posted comments, I have been used as a babysitter, I have had to deal with hitters/verbally abusive kids,(which are the ones that are somehow getting the playdates)…I wish in so many ways we lived back in the good ol days when there were friendly good neighbors/kids our kids could just go outside and play with..or was that simply an illusion…

]]> By: Just say no...to playdates!http://mssinglemama.com/2007/12/03/i-hate-playdates/#comment-14581 Just say no...to playdates! Sun, 29 Nov 2009 18:45:02 +0000 http://mssinglemama.wordpress.com/2007/12/03/i-hate-playdates/#comment-14581 Words cannot describe how much I despise playdates! I don't know which are worse, the irritating or boring as hell parents who come to your house and you just pray nonstop silently for them to leave, or the ones who just want free babysitting and drop their little out of control darlings off to wreak havock on your nerves for a couple of hours. I lie awake at night sometimes trying to think of new excuses to get out of them, as if life isn't stressful enough. I thought the requests would die down once your kids are full time in school but they don't! Words cannot describe how much I despise playdates! I don’t know which are worse, the irritating or boring as hell parents who come to your house and you just pray nonstop silently for them to leave, or the ones who just want free babysitting and drop their little out of control darlings off to wreak havock on your nerves for a couple of hours. I lie awake at night sometimes trying to think of new excuses to get out of them, as if life isn’t stressful enough. I thought the requests would die down once your kids are full time in school but they don’t!

]]> By: unknownhttp://mssinglemama.com/2007/12/03/i-hate-playdates/#comment-13085 unknown Sun, 27 Sep 2009 23:19:57 +0000 http://mssinglemama.wordpress.com/2007/12/03/i-hate-playdates/#comment-13085 i dont like play playdates it weird going to someone elses house there's this mom && she keeps demanding for a playdate i mean the kids already see enough of each other @ school whats the need of seeing each other after school it not like they really need a social life come on thier only in elemantary school i just find it aquare to send a child into someones home i don't know how these parents are like its just not right especially demanding a child to come over your house to play with your child i dont like play playdates
it weird going to someone elses house
there’s this mom && she keeps demanding for a playdate
i mean the kids already see enough of each other @ school
whats the need of seeing each other after school
it not like they really need a social life
come on thier only in elemantary school
i just find it aquare to send a child into someones home
i don’t know how these parents are like
its just not right
especially demanding a child to come over your house to play with your child

]]> By: Heidihttp://mssinglemama.com/2007/12/03/i-hate-playdates/#comment-9885 Heidi Sat, 30 May 2009 01:43:47 +0000 http://mssinglemama.wordpress.com/2007/12/03/i-hate-playdates/#comment-9885 I get nervous every time I host a "first time" playdate. Will the child be comfortable. Will the mom be bored. I feel like I need to bake or at least p/u fresh fruit, sometimes even feed them dinner. I want everyone involved to have an enjoyable time. Being a Mommy isn't the most exciting thing in the world, even though I know it is worth it, and sure appreciate my mom's sacrifices. In all the playdates I have hosted (about 8 or 9 different families), there have only been 3 mom's that I would ever want to talk to again. They are the ones that are "real" about stuggles, worries, and day to day difficulties. The mom's you can actually laugh with about stuff. The others seem so perfect (Lord knows they are not), there is nothing to talk about. It is like dating, "mom friendship dating" and it is exhausting. Of the 3 mom's I like, my fav's daughter is in another class this year and she has gone back to work part-time and is hosting 2 tlc groups through her church (she is super busy but still friendly). If we bump into each other she says we should get together and then gives me her impossible schedule. The other Mom has a son who I adore, but he is extra work to have over. She had gone back to part time work also and I end up taking care of both our children. The 3rd mom is the kindest person, but I am renting and she is in a beautiful $mill+ home and I am embarrassed to have her over. Our kids are not in the same grade this year, so I have not made any effort. I am hosting a playdate on tues with two moms' and 2 girls I have never had over, but I have been to separate playdates at their houses and need to reciprocate before a year end slumber party at one of their houses. Judged or not, I am going to suck it up and make the best of it. LOL! I get nervous every time I host a "first time" playdate. Will the child be comfortable. Will the mom be bored. I feel like I need to bake or at least p/u fresh fruit, sometimes even feed them dinner. I want everyone involved to have an enjoyable time. Being a Mommy isn't the most exciting thing in the world, even though I know it is worth it, and sure appreciate my mom's sacrifices. In all the playdates I have hosted (about 8 or 9 different families), there have only been 3 mom's that I would ever want to talk to again. They are the ones that are "real" about stuggles, worries, and day to day difficulties. The mom's you can actually laugh with about stuff. The others seem so perfect (Lord knows they are not), there is nothing to talk about.

It is like dating, "mom friendship dating" and it is exhausting. Of the 3 mom's I like, my fav's daughter is in another class this year and she has gone back to work part-time and is hosting 2 tlc groups through her church (she is super busy but still friendly). If we bump into each other she says we should get together and then gives me her impossible schedule.

The other Mom has a son who I adore, but he is extra work to have over. She had gone back to part time work also and I end up taking care of both our children.

The 3rd mom is the kindest person, but I am renting and she is in a beautiful $mill+ home and I am embarrassed to have her over. Our kids are not in the same grade this year, so I have not made any effort.

I am hosting a playdate on tues with two moms' and 2 girls I have never had over, but I have been to separate playdates at their houses and need to reciprocate before a year end slumber party at one of their houses. Judged or not, I am going to suck it up and make the best of it.

LOL!

]]> By: Sugar Mamahttp://mssinglemama.com/2007/12/03/i-hate-playdates/#comment-9372 Sugar Mama Sun, 10 May 2009 03:03:15 +0000 http://mssinglemama.wordpress.com/2007/12/03/i-hate-playdates/#comment-9372 Playdates make me want to stick a fork in my eye. They turn cool women into mom zombies. Men would never put up with them unless there was beer and poker involved. Playdates make me want to stick a fork in my eye. They turn cool women into mom zombies. Men would never put up with them unless there was beer and poker involved.

]]> By: Nancyhttp://mssinglemama.com/2007/12/03/i-hate-playdates/#comment-4788 Nancy Sat, 06 Dec 2008 19:58:20 +0000 http://mssinglemama.wordpress.com/2007/12/03/i-hate-playdates/#comment-4788 I found you site by me being upset about my Kindergartners play date. It is 3 months into the school year. I have called 3 or 4 parents because no one was calling my son. Now I decided to wait a month or so to see if anyone would call, nope. I can't stand this. Is it a game? Like dating? I feel so sorry for my son who is always asking for playdates. Apparently some other kids ask him too. But their parents just don't call. We have no kids on our block his age or relatives/cousins in the area. It just stinks. I signed him up for an activity after school 1 day a week. It just shouldn't have to be. I found you site by me being upset about my Kindergartners play date. It is 3 months into the school year. I have called 3 or 4 parents because no one was calling my son. Now I decided to wait a month or so to see if anyone would call, nope. I can’t stand this. Is it a game? Like dating? I feel so sorry for my son who is always asking for playdates. Apparently some other kids ask him too. But their parents just don’t call. We have no kids on our block his age or relatives/cousins in the area. It just stinks. I signed him up for an activity after school 1 day a week. It just shouldn’t have to be.

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