one of my best friends also despaired of meeting a good man. at 40 she met him. he was 22. shés 50 in a few weeks and they are blissfully happy.

i’ve been sole parenting for 3 1/2 years and have had a few dates and one less than successful longish liason. I’m beginning to think that the childfree guy might be my best option – exes, kids, it’s all so flipping difficult. i’ll work on the hopeful premise that he just hasn’t met the right girl yet;)

You started off sounding open minded and concluded with only date single dads or really younger guys? Seriously? What? Weird ending.

Certainly my red-flags are well in place, but i am possibly more open minded than i was a year ago.
My current life was hard won and I’m happy with it, and I understand the different between ‘need’ and ‘want’…no wI just have to figure out if I want it badly enough.

Yes, they have. And you also have: you have a kid, what decreases the amount of men interested in having a serious relationship with you. Men are not enthusiastic about marrying a woman with a kid who is not their own.

Not that it is impossible for you to find true love. But if I was you, I would stop being so damn picky. Nobody is perfect and you are not a trophy wife either.

Now I’m dating another single mother. She is the most amazing girl I have ever dated. I am so good to her: I cook dinner and I give her foot massages. I know there is more to it than that but, hey, most women would love those two things. Aside from my cooking and massaging skills: I’m not arrogant, I am very sweet, affectionate, passionate, fun/funny, independent, educated, mature, I have a career, I’m going to be a great father – I’m great with kids and kids always get along with me, I’m not conceited but I am cute, tall and handsome. No one is perfect but I am darn close. I’ve been told, by my sisters, that it’s hard to find a great guy like me. I truly believe that, my sisters wouldn’t lie to me. Many women are looking for a guy like me but life is about chance. Every woman has different preferences and their own perception of their perfect man. But some women can be blind when a perfect man is right in front of them. I’m just hoping that the single mom I’m dating now will choose me and realize that I’m a great and quality guy worth introducing to her kids.

I’m not taken, yet, and there is nothing wrong with me.

Problem is they don't come "packaged" as the guys most women normally are "hot" for.

Remember all those "nice guys" you knew? I know many of them were utter doormats and even living a lie behind their "nice guy" ways, but some of them were just decent men who were raised to be gentlemen to women, and then spent their 20s being rejected over and over for the guys women end up complaining about in blogs.

It's a red flag to be never married and childless in your 30s? You're missing a lot of good men then. I'm 35, never married, no kids…does that mean I want to avoid commitment at all costs? No. It means that I, like many guys, spent our 20s being told and shown in to many ways that the only way to get a woman is to be a jerk. To be aloof, cocky, and play games.

Am I bitter? No. I'm more thankful that I and many like me never had to deal with the problems of divorce and other insanity that others have. We took each rejection and friendzoning to heart and learned from them. Now we sit in our 30s and see a sea of damaged women out there. Women who got knocked up from that fling with the guy everyone kept telling them to dump. Women who are in their 30s and emotionally a mess, claiming all men are children and such but never taking accountability for their own actions.

I'm not attacking you personally here, but I get tired of these incessant whines of women who claim all the good men are taken. You women need to wake up and realize you can't have "hot, wealthy, exciting, wild" combined with "stable, loyal, committing, sensitive". You can have some variations and some combinations, but not all of it. No more than men can't have the supermodel with large breasts, a career, money, and yet loves to cook, clean, and give sex anytime the man asks.

I'm honestly glad you're at least trying in all avenues, but it sounds like some of your "qualifications" are the kinds that don't usually come with "stable, loving, commiting, etc" You women need to realize that if you put everything on that magical "spark" you all hope for, then you'll end up alone most of the time. Excitement doesn't come from seeing him, it comes from what you two do together.

Believe me, I finally found Ms Right, and while I think she's beautiful, she's not the typical long haired brunette with a nice chest and slender body that I normally would pursue. When I first met her I wasn't excited about her, but after two dates I couldn't fathom anyone else I'd want in my life. I didn't settle, but I came to reality…and I can only think how I could have been an idiot and tossed her away for some impossible fantasy. Thankfully I didn't.

I'm not telling you to go out and date some ugly guy who wants to get married, but to be realistic and open-minded in WHERE you go looking for men. If a guy can get laid every week by hot young women, then he's not planning on getting married…period. If he can get all the joys of a relationship without giving much of anything, then what's in it for him to commit (based on what he wants out of women)?

There are MILLIONS of good marrying men out there, but they might not be 6 feet tall. They might not have a full head of hair. They might not be obese, but they also might not have a body of an athlete. They might not be the ethnicity/race you normally go for. They might work a normal job and bring home enough money to make for a good HALF of a family income. They're out there, and they want to be a good man to a lucky woman…to prove to themselves and others that you don't have to be a jerk to get women, but the more you keep pushing them all away, the more alone you end up, and the more of them who might decide to just become cynical and become the "jerks" you women complain about just to get laid.