The whole “dimensions” of compatibility is code for fat chicks wanting love. “We don’t discriminate by body type” is the reply I got.

Match has serial daters and semi-prostitutes. Meet people in the real world and have some freaking values.

Totally agree about eHarmony tho–it is quite possibly the most insulting, paternalistic, anti-woman, sexist dating site I’ve ever joined, and I’ve even been a member of religious sites. But Eharmony really thinks it knows best about men and women. For one thing, I’ve never been matched with someone more than a year or so younger than I am, but I’ve been matched with guys who are 13 or 14 years older. Why? Because eHarmony has decided that older men and younger women are “more compatible.” So, say I’m 29–I apparently have more “combatibility” with a 43-year-old than I do a 27-year-old. Right.

eHarmony, as others have said, also doesn’t take into consideration vastly different education levels. I have a PhD … I’ve been matched with paramedics, HVAC repairmen, truck drivers, home health aides, etc. I have nothing against people who do such professions, but come on–I thought the goal here was to be “compatible.” I know few successful couples who have such vast differences in education and profession–why didn’t eHarmony uncover that little secret while doing all their research?

eHarmony also doesn’t allow you to specify or figure out whether or not your match has been married before or has children. You can only specify whether or not you want someone who has children under the age of 18 living in their home. Again–good for men, bad for women. Most of the time women are the primary caretakers of young children, so they get the shaft, while men who technically don’t have any kids “living in their home” are free to be matched with whomever.

And then there are the creepy questions and “must haves/can’t stands” about sex. If eHarmony’s question-and-answer sessions are supposed to simulate a real first date, they couldn’t be more clumsy and awkward. How many first dates have you been on where the guy said, “So how do you feel about premarital sex?” or “By the way, I MUST HAVE someone who enjoys having sex on a regular basis.” WTF. If the purpose is to weed out the creeps, I suppose it works.

Which brings me to another point. Many women complain that there are “no good men out there” but the fact of the matter is there are good men out there that are ruled out without a second look simply on demographics and statistics they can do nothing about, like height. Yeah, I know that’s life. You can’t help how short you are. But it is a fact that women say 5’8 and taller are reluctant to consider shorter men. So while they complain about “lack of good men” the bottom line is that it is their own preferences creating some of the “shortages”. Let’s be candid.. we all do it..

E-Harmony i what it is. I agree that their matching system sucks. WHy invest all that time in a long questionaire when you will get such crappy matches? That’s why I don’t use e-harmony.

ANd finally the reality of the dating scene is that there are plenty of people out there competing. If you think you are hot stuff, you will soon find you are not so hot besides 100 other profiles that basically look like yours. I agree with the author. Don’t rely on any matching system. Use a service where you yourself can build your own matches in detail, and would add- stop looking for perfection with these long shopping lists, and unrealistic fantasy pictures of what he or she “should” look like, earn, etc.. etc.

It’s not going to work for a long term thing and often not even short-term. Remember there are hundreds just like you out there. Your best bet is to start without too many expectations and unrealistic fantasies, and perfectionist shopping lists. Be flexible and realistic. Have just a few core, “bottom line” things you are looking for, not long shopping lists.. Yeah, I know we’ve heard it all before but…

FREE=nothing but a cesspool of individuals who CAN’T afford any other means of online dating.

If dating Middle Aged, Less Affluent, No College Education is your choice of date,
http://www.quantcast.com/plentyoffish.com/demographics
by all means have at it, however NOTHING has come close in the “utter disappointment” I’ve experienced with PlentyofFish. (thank God, I never wasted dime on the site or in person dates).