Let me preface this by saying, I went into this online dating thing with total enthusiasm and a very open mind. After all, I’ve heard that friends of friends have actually gotten engaged after meeting online. And with very little free time on my hands – why not try it out?
I started out as a voyeur.
I would scope out the men on Match.com. They all looked like loser players, so I moved on to eHarmony. Those commercials are just so enticing. Could those people be real? They have to be, right? So I sign up.
I take the super personality tests of all personality tests and then wait as my matches come in. Some are 47, some are 37, some are fishermen living in Alaska, others are construction workers in my own back yard. Not that I have anything against fishermen or construction workers or older men. But I’m looking for a young professional, college educated, like-minded individual, not someone who I clearly would have nothing in common with.
I check my match settings. They’re set at preferences the system is clearly ignoring.
There are a few interesting men who do pop into my inbox…so I e-mail them. I wait, days, weeks and never hear a word. Then I realize – these men probably signed up for free and then jumped the boat. Or, even worse, they were probably paying members years ago. The thing about eHarmony is that you actually have to turn your matching off when you cancel your membership, otherwise they keep you in the system. It’s why they can boast so many “active” members and keep sending you dozens and dozens of useless new matches each day.
I actually e-mailed eHarmony telling them I thought their matching system was crap. They wrote me a long winded e-mail back telling me I needed to expand my matching preferences. They refused to give me a refund of my $110 membership fee. So, I stayed on, after all I had paid for three months – why not use it?
Recently I found a match that peaked my interest. A single dad, college educated, cute and his profile description was intriguing. We meet for a lunch date. A nice, safe lunch date. This after talking on the phone several times. He shows up, I stand up, and I’m towering above him.
“Oh, damn,” I think. “Why in the hell did I wear these heels?”
He was very, very sweet and it was a nice lunch – but there wasn’t an ounce of chemistry. Our personalities couldn’t have been more incompatible. So much for the eHarmony matching “system.” I’ll keep you posted if I do find compatible matches, but so far it has been a joke.
I will say – if you are going to try online dating – go with a site where you can search profiles yourself. And there is no personality matching system that can beat your own gut instinct.
Check out PlentyofFish.com, it’s quickly becoming the most popular online dating web site out there because – it’s FREE. I haven’t tried it myself (no need as I’m now in a fantastic relationship – fyi – I met him in a bar, the good old fashioned way).
Another great place to scope out all of the single men or women who have profiles posted in your area is Oodle.com. Go to personals and search by zip code, the site lists all of the people with profiles in your area. Pretty spiffy.
And then there’s always MySpace – also free. Most of my twenty-something friends meet their men here…send them a friendly message or two and then exchange numbers.
My friend have also had a lot of luck on Yahoo Personals…cheaper than Match and easier to use.
»This website has moved to MsSingleMama.com.
Why? Because this single mom outgrew the old space – so get your but over here to see the latest from Ms. Single Mama!