E-harmony Dating Review: for the single parent or any other dater

by mssinglemama on October 15, 2007







Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:




Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:


Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:
I love Spring.

I love it for the obvious reasons. Spring cleaning with the windows open. Flowers blooming. New beginnings. And the icing on the cake? Topless male runners.

Should half-naked, sweating, hot as hell men be allowed to run down the sidewalks next to busy streets? I could crash. Seriously. It’s dangerous. What would happen if women did it? And guys if you think it’s different, you’re wrong. Because seeing a hot as hell guy with his shirt off is quite the treat for us ladies.

What’s wrong with me? I’m a mother for crying out loud! I can’t believe I’m even writing this.

I’m not supposed be checking guys out like this. And doing it from my car? It’s not like I could even get their numbers? I could start throwing paper airplanes at them. Or maybe bottles of water. Would that work?

Torture. Pure torture.

I could teach Benjamin to throw cookies at them. Or I could just roll down the car window and let him shout at them, “Hi! Hi! Hi!”

He does this to every one he sees. In stores, on streets, at the park and even from the car window. Doesn’t matter who you are. A hobo, a CEO, a goth dude, an old Russian lady – he’ll should “Hi!” repeatedly until you say “Hi” back. Convenient if I want to say “Hi” too.  ;  )

How do you pick up men? Do you pick up men? Guys, how do you pick us up? Secrets or tips anyone? Dish them please.




Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:


Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:
I love Spring.

I love it for the obvious reasons. Spring cleaning with the windows open. Flowers blooming. New beginnings. And the icing on the cake? Topless male runners.

Should half-naked, sweating, hot as hell men be allowed to run down the sidewalks next to busy streets? I could crash. Seriously. It’s dangerous. What would happen if women did it? And guys if you think it’s different, you’re wrong. Because seeing a hot as hell guy with his shirt off is quite the treat for us ladies.

What’s wrong with me? I’m a mother for crying out loud! I can’t believe I’m even writing this.

I’m not supposed be checking guys out like this. And doing it from my car? It’s not like I could even get their numbers? I could start throwing paper airplanes at them. Or maybe bottles of water. Would that work?

Torture. Pure torture.

I could teach Benjamin to throw cookies at them. Or I could just roll down the car window and let him shout at them, “Hi! Hi! Hi!”

He does this to every one he sees. In stores, on streets, at the park and even from the car window. Doesn’t matter who you are. A hobo, a CEO, a goth dude, an old Russian lady – he’ll should “Hi!” repeatedly until you say “Hi” back. Convenient if I want to say “Hi” too.  ;  )

How do you pick up men? Do you pick up men? Guys, how do you pick us up? Secrets or tips anyone? Dish them please.
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.




Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:


Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:
I love Spring.

I love it for the obvious reasons. Spring cleaning with the windows open. Flowers blooming. New beginnings. And the icing on the cake? Topless male runners.

Should half-naked, sweating, hot as hell men be allowed to run down the sidewalks next to busy streets? I could crash. Seriously. It’s dangerous. What would happen if women did it? And guys if you think it’s different, you’re wrong. Because seeing a hot as hell guy with his shirt off is quite the treat for us ladies.

What’s wrong with me? I’m a mother for crying out loud! I can’t believe I’m even writing this.

I’m not supposed be checking guys out like this. And doing it from my car? It’s not like I could even get their numbers? I could start throwing paper airplanes at them. Or maybe bottles of water. Would that work?

Torture. Pure torture.

I could teach Benjamin to throw cookies at them. Or I could just roll down the car window and let him shout at them, “Hi! Hi! Hi!”

He does this to every one he sees. In stores, on streets, at the park and even from the car window. Doesn’t matter who you are. A hobo, a CEO, a goth dude, an old Russian lady – he’ll should “Hi!” repeatedly until you say “Hi” back. Convenient if I want to say “Hi” too.  ;  )

How do you pick up men? Do you pick up men? Guys, how do you pick us up? Secrets or tips anyone? Dish them please.
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive




Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:


Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:
I love Spring.

I love it for the obvious reasons. Spring cleaning with the windows open. Flowers blooming. New beginnings. And the icing on the cake? Topless male runners.

Should half-naked, sweating, hot as hell men be allowed to run down the sidewalks next to busy streets? I could crash. Seriously. It’s dangerous. What would happen if women did it? And guys if you think it’s different, you’re wrong. Because seeing a hot as hell guy with his shirt off is quite the treat for us ladies.

What’s wrong with me? I’m a mother for crying out loud! I can’t believe I’m even writing this.

I’m not supposed be checking guys out like this. And doing it from my car? It’s not like I could even get their numbers? I could start throwing paper airplanes at them. Or maybe bottles of water. Would that work?

Torture. Pure torture.

I could teach Benjamin to throw cookies at them. Or I could just roll down the car window and let him shout at them, “Hi! Hi! Hi!”

He does this to every one he sees. In stores, on streets, at the park and even from the car window. Doesn’t matter who you are. A hobo, a CEO, a goth dude, an old Russian lady – he’ll should “Hi!” repeatedly until you say “Hi” back. Convenient if I want to say “Hi” too.  ;  )

How do you pick up men? Do you pick up men? Guys, how do you pick us up? Secrets or tips anyone? Dish them please.
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
Single Mom blogger, Alaina, Ms. Single Mama




Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:


Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:
I love Spring.

I love it for the obvious reasons. Spring cleaning with the windows open. Flowers blooming. New beginnings. And the icing on the cake? Topless male runners.

Should half-naked, sweating, hot as hell men be allowed to run down the sidewalks next to busy streets? I could crash. Seriously. It’s dangerous. What would happen if women did it? And guys if you think it’s different, you’re wrong. Because seeing a hot as hell guy with his shirt off is quite the treat for us ladies.

What’s wrong with me? I’m a mother for crying out loud! I can’t believe I’m even writing this.

I’m not supposed be checking guys out like this. And doing it from my car? It’s not like I could even get their numbers? I could start throwing paper airplanes at them. Or maybe bottles of water. Would that work?

Torture. Pure torture.

I could teach Benjamin to throw cookies at them. Or I could just roll down the car window and let him shout at them, “Hi! Hi! Hi!”

He does this to every one he sees. In stores, on streets, at the park and even from the car window. Doesn’t matter who you are. A hobo, a CEO, a goth dude, an old Russian lady – he’ll should “Hi!” repeatedly until you say “Hi” back. Convenient if I want to say “Hi” too.  ;  )

How do you pick up men? Do you pick up men? Guys, how do you pick us up? Secrets or tips anyone? Dish them please.
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
Single Mom blogger, Alaina, Ms. Single Mama
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
Single Mom blogger, Alaina, Ms. Single Mama
He holds my face in his hands and says before kissing me, “Are you feeling this?”

“Yes,” I answer, relieved. “It’s not just me, then?”

“No. It’s not just you,” he says.

“Has this ever happened to you before?” I ask.

“Nope.” He smiles into my eyes.

“Me neither.”

But we just met. This is only our second date.

How is this possible? How can we both be feeling what we’re feeling? Is this purely driven by our physical attraction to one another? Definitely not, I’ve felt that before–this is something entirely different. And I was attracted to him before I even met him. This is something I can’t describe and all of my skepticism all of my cynicism, all of my doubts that love like this exists in the world is immediately gone.

And I can say that this is worth everything preceding it, no matter what follows…

——

The first time I see him it is through the glare of my laptop screen.

I am smiling as I look at his profile pictures. My smile is almost obtrusive because I can’t make it stop. “Why are you smiling like this?” I say out loud. “Stop. Seriously, this is ridiculous. It’s just a profile.” But I can’t. I am talking to myself and smiling and struck.

There he is.

All smiles himself with lovely dark eyes that are smiling even when he is not, the outline of his dimples showing through his beard. In one picture he is holding his daughter on his lap, she one of two children he mentions in his profile.

“They’re incredible. And tiring. And funny. And totally worth all the hard work.”

I scan his stats.

He’s 6’3″, clearly gorgeous, gainfully employed in a position he loves. And then there’s his smile. And my smile. The one that is still on my face. Obtrusive and still there, five minutes later.

What is going on? This is nuts.

I had logged on that afternoon to delete my account on OkCupid.com. I had gone on one really awkward date and couldn’t bear the thought of going on anymore. It would be a waste of time. And I don’t want a man that badly. Not bad enough to do that again.

Before deleting my account I stopped, noticing a stock pile of inbound messages. Hmmmm…. who were these from? I scanned the inbox. Nah, nope, gross! And then there was his face and a message.

Evidently we’re 0% match, 41% friend, and 50% enemy. I think that’s pretty funny, because based on how you describe yourself and your “manperson”, I think we’d actually get along pretty well. So, guess I’m just saying Hi, and I’d like to talk sometime.

Keep being awesome.

We find out later we were 50% enemy because I hadn’t taken the time to properly fill out my profile. I write back immediately and after a few exchanges we have made a Saturday coffee date.

That day I can’t think about much else and after Benjamin marches off to Margaret’s house across the street, she’s my soul mate single mama neighbor, without whom I don’t know what I would do. We both trade our children back and forth all weekend, every weekend. This is one of those times and she’s happily acquired Benjamin so I can get dressed. But I can’t get dressed.

This never happens to me. Sure, I have trouble deciding on what to wear, but in this instance I am literally unable to even find something, anything to wear. The butterflies aren’t just flying around in my stomach–they are throwing punches. I end up electing to be on time rather than super cute and choose an old sweater over a t-shirt. Completely boring but at this point, this is a huge win–at least I am dressed.

On paper he is everything.

But what will he be like in person?

When I walk in, I see him on the couch. He jumps up and greets me and I can tell he’s just as nervous. He’s taller than I imagined. It’s not every day that six foot, three men are standing before you. His face is warm, sweet, kind and interesting. And in an instant I can tell that he has lived and survived through pain, real pain. The pain of divorce, the pain of raising two children through that. He is equally as strong as he is sensitive and caring. A dad, through and through. I immediately like him and feel like I’ve known him forever.

When we sit down the conversation starts and it doesn’t stop. We are talking (and laughing) for hours. I find out he has recently moved back to Ohio after four years in Texas, my favorite place on the planet. He has passions: his motorcycle, his songwriting, his children, who are five and six. And then, the coffee long gone, we take a walk from Cup o’ Joe into the Short North. We window shop, eat ice cream and when it’s time to get back to Benjamin he tells me he’d like to see me again.

And so it began…

—-

And here we are, kissing on my couch.

The butterflies are there, the lead weights are there. Everything is there and I have absolutely no reservations, no compromises, no settlements. I also have to stand corrected. On the Prince Charming stuff. While I don’t need to be rescued in any way, he definitely exists because, I have found mine.

To prevent any worries on your end, my sweet readers, because I know some of you may be thinking–that I am insane or that my body has been taken hostage by dopamine and other chemically, or hormonally induced forces… there will be no rushing the children into things. As badly as we want everyone to meet, introductions will be made slowly, very slowly. Like a month from now slowly. And even then we will be friends who have play dates once a week or bi-weekly.

We have both learned in the past that being a single parent dating requires patience and planning.




Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:


Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:
I love Spring.

I love it for the obvious reasons. Spring cleaning with the windows open. Flowers blooming. New beginnings. And the icing on the cake? Topless male runners.

Should half-naked, sweating, hot as hell men be allowed to run down the sidewalks next to busy streets? I could crash. Seriously. It’s dangerous. What would happen if women did it? And guys if you think it’s different, you’re wrong. Because seeing a hot as hell guy with his shirt off is quite the treat for us ladies.

What’s wrong with me? I’m a mother for crying out loud! I can’t believe I’m even writing this.

I’m not supposed be checking guys out like this. And doing it from my car? It’s not like I could even get their numbers? I could start throwing paper airplanes at them. Or maybe bottles of water. Would that work?

Torture. Pure torture.

I could teach Benjamin to throw cookies at them. Or I could just roll down the car window and let him shout at them, “Hi! Hi! Hi!”

He does this to every one he sees. In stores, on streets, at the park and even from the car window. Doesn’t matter who you are. A hobo, a CEO, a goth dude, an old Russian lady – he’ll should “Hi!” repeatedly until you say “Hi” back. Convenient if I want to say “Hi” too.  ;  )

How do you pick up men? Do you pick up men? Guys, how do you pick us up? Secrets or tips anyone? Dish them please.
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
Single Mom blogger, Alaina, Ms. Single Mama
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
Single Mom blogger, Alaina, Ms. Single Mama
He holds my face in his hands and says before kissing me, “Are you feeling this?”

“Yes,” I answer, relieved. “It’s not just me, then?”

“No. It’s not just you,” he says.

“Has this ever happened to you before?” I ask.

“Nope.” He smiles into my eyes.

“Me neither.”

But we just met. This is only our second date.

How is this possible? How can we both be feeling what we’re feeling? Is this purely driven by our physical attraction to one another? Definitely not, I’ve felt that before–this is something entirely different. And I was attracted to him before I even met him. This is something I can’t describe and all of my skepticism all of my cynicism, all of my doubts that love like this exists in the world is immediately gone.

And I can say that this is worth everything preceding it, no matter what follows…

——

The first time I see him it is through the glare of my laptop screen.

I am smiling as I look at his profile pictures. My smile is almost obtrusive because I can’t make it stop. “Why are you smiling like this?” I say out loud. “Stop. Seriously, this is ridiculous. It’s just a profile.” But I can’t. I am talking to myself and smiling and struck.

There he is.

All smiles himself with lovely dark eyes that are smiling even when he is not, the outline of his dimples showing through his beard. In one picture he is holding his daughter on his lap, she one of two children he mentions in his profile.

“They’re incredible. And tiring. And funny. And totally worth all the hard work.”

I scan his stats.

He’s 6’3″, clearly gorgeous, gainfully employed in a position he loves. And then there’s his smile. And my smile. The one that is still on my face. Obtrusive and still there, five minutes later.

What is going on? This is nuts.

I had logged on that afternoon to delete my account on OkCupid.com. I had gone on one really awkward date and couldn’t bear the thought of going on anymore. It would be a waste of time. And I don’t want a man that badly. Not bad enough to do that again.

Before deleting my account I stopped, noticing a stock pile of inbound messages. Hmmmm…. who were these from? I scanned the inbox. Nah, nope, gross! And then there was his face and a message.

Evidently we’re 0% match, 41% friend, and 50% enemy. I think that’s pretty funny, because based on how you describe yourself and your “manperson”, I think we’d actually get along pretty well. So, guess I’m just saying Hi, and I’d like to talk sometime.

Keep being awesome.

We find out later we were 50% enemy because I hadn’t taken the time to properly fill out my profile. I write back immediately and after a few exchanges we have made a Saturday coffee date.

That day I can’t think about much else and after Benjamin marches off to Margaret’s house across the street, she’s my soul mate single mama neighbor, without whom I don’t know what I would do. We both trade our children back and forth all weekend, every weekend. This is one of those times and she’s happily acquired Benjamin so I can get dressed. But I can’t get dressed.

This never happens to me. Sure, I have trouble deciding on what to wear, but in this instance I am literally unable to even find something, anything to wear. The butterflies aren’t just flying around in my stomach–they are throwing punches. I end up electing to be on time rather than super cute and choose an old sweater over a t-shirt. Completely boring but at this point, this is a huge win–at least I am dressed.

On paper he is everything.

But what will he be like in person?

When I walk in, I see him on the couch. He jumps up and greets me and I can tell he’s just as nervous. He’s taller than I imagined. It’s not every day that six foot, three men are standing before you. His face is warm, sweet, kind and interesting. And in an instant I can tell that he has lived and survived through pain, real pain. The pain of divorce, the pain of raising two children through that. He is equally as strong as he is sensitive and caring. A dad, through and through. I immediately like him and feel like I’ve known him forever.

When we sit down the conversation starts and it doesn’t stop. We are talking (and laughing) for hours. I find out he has recently moved back to Ohio after four years in Texas, my favorite place on the planet. He has passions: his motorcycle, his songwriting, his children, who are five and six. And then, the coffee long gone, we take a walk from Cup o’ Joe into the Short North. We window shop, eat ice cream and when it’s time to get back to Benjamin he tells me he’d like to see me again.

And so it began…

—-

And here we are, kissing on my couch.

The butterflies are there, the lead weights are there. Everything is there and I have absolutely no reservations, no compromises, no settlements. I also have to stand corrected. On the Prince Charming stuff. While I don’t need to be rescued in any way, he definitely exists because, I have found mine.

To prevent any worries on your end, my sweet readers, because I know some of you may be thinking–that I am insane or that my body has been taken hostage by dopamine and other chemically, or hormonally induced forces… there will be no rushing the children into things. As badly as we want everyone to meet, introductions will be made slowly, very slowly. Like a month from now slowly. And even then we will be friends who have play dates once a week or bi-weekly.

We have both learned in the past that being a single parent dating requires patience and planning.

Prince Charming can kiss my ass.

I am a 29 year old, divorced single mom. I left my husband when my son was just four months old. I started this blog one year later.

During that first year, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me. Then something happened. I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

When you are a single mom, juggling a full-time job and raising a child or children – it’s hard to find time to paint your toenails, let alone go out on a date. We don’t have time for rules or drama. We also look at men differently. They could look hot in that pair of jeans but will they be a good father? Would they be a good husband?

And then there’s that whole raising a little human by yourself thing.

This isn’t easy. There aren’t any clear answers.

We can’t make it all go away but we can make it better – piece by piece, day by day. And in the meantime we can keep each other company.

Thanks for reading and please e-mail me with any questions or issues you’d like me to write about at mssinglemama@gmail.com.

Thanks to all of you – my amazing readers – my blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com. You rock. Thanks for being here.

If you’re a single mom looking for dating advice click here.

A video for the dating single moms.

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»Single Mom Dating Advice

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[Photo: Morgan Siler Photography]




Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:


Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:
I love Spring.

I love it for the obvious reasons. Spring cleaning with the windows open. Flowers blooming. New beginnings. And the icing on the cake? Topless male runners.

Should half-naked, sweating, hot as hell men be allowed to run down the sidewalks next to busy streets? I could crash. Seriously. It’s dangerous. What would happen if women did it? And guys if you think it’s different, you’re wrong. Because seeing a hot as hell guy with his shirt off is quite the treat for us ladies.

What’s wrong with me? I’m a mother for crying out loud! I can’t believe I’m even writing this.

I’m not supposed be checking guys out like this. And doing it from my car? It’s not like I could even get their numbers? I could start throwing paper airplanes at them. Or maybe bottles of water. Would that work?

Torture. Pure torture.

I could teach Benjamin to throw cookies at them. Or I could just roll down the car window and let him shout at them, “Hi! Hi! Hi!”

He does this to every one he sees. In stores, on streets, at the park and even from the car window. Doesn’t matter who you are. A hobo, a CEO, a goth dude, an old Russian lady – he’ll should “Hi!” repeatedly until you say “Hi” back. Convenient if I want to say “Hi” too.  ;  )

How do you pick up men? Do you pick up men? Guys, how do you pick us up? Secrets or tips anyone? Dish them please.
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
Single Mom blogger, Alaina, Ms. Single Mama
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
Single Mom blogger, Alaina, Ms. Single Mama
He holds my face in his hands and says before kissing me, “Are you feeling this?”

“Yes,” I answer, relieved. “It’s not just me, then?”

“No. It’s not just you,” he says.

“Has this ever happened to you before?” I ask.

“Nope.” He smiles into my eyes.

“Me neither.”

But we just met. This is only our second date.

How is this possible? How can we both be feeling what we’re feeling? Is this purely driven by our physical attraction to one another? Definitely not, I’ve felt that before–this is something entirely different. And I was attracted to him before I even met him. This is something I can’t describe and all of my skepticism all of my cynicism, all of my doubts that love like this exists in the world is immediately gone.

And I can say that this is worth everything preceding it, no matter what follows…

——

The first time I see him it is through the glare of my laptop screen.

I am smiling as I look at his profile pictures. My smile is almost obtrusive because I can’t make it stop. “Why are you smiling like this?” I say out loud. “Stop. Seriously, this is ridiculous. It’s just a profile.” But I can’t. I am talking to myself and smiling and struck.

There he is.

All smiles himself with lovely dark eyes that are smiling even when he is not, the outline of his dimples showing through his beard. In one picture he is holding his daughter on his lap, she one of two children he mentions in his profile.

“They’re incredible. And tiring. And funny. And totally worth all the hard work.”

I scan his stats.

He’s 6’3″, clearly gorgeous, gainfully employed in a position he loves. And then there’s his smile. And my smile. The one that is still on my face. Obtrusive and still there, five minutes later.

What is going on? This is nuts.

I had logged on that afternoon to delete my account on OkCupid.com. I had gone on one really awkward date and couldn’t bear the thought of going on anymore. It would be a waste of time. And I don’t want a man that badly. Not bad enough to do that again.

Before deleting my account I stopped, noticing a stock pile of inbound messages. Hmmmm…. who were these from? I scanned the inbox. Nah, nope, gross! And then there was his face and a message.

Evidently we’re 0% match, 41% friend, and 50% enemy. I think that’s pretty funny, because based on how you describe yourself and your “manperson”, I think we’d actually get along pretty well. So, guess I’m just saying Hi, and I’d like to talk sometime.

Keep being awesome.

We find out later we were 50% enemy because I hadn’t taken the time to properly fill out my profile. I write back immediately and after a few exchanges we have made a Saturday coffee date.

That day I can’t think about much else and after Benjamin marches off to Margaret’s house across the street, she’s my soul mate single mama neighbor, without whom I don’t know what I would do. We both trade our children back and forth all weekend, every weekend. This is one of those times and she’s happily acquired Benjamin so I can get dressed. But I can’t get dressed.

This never happens to me. Sure, I have trouble deciding on what to wear, but in this instance I am literally unable to even find something, anything to wear. The butterflies aren’t just flying around in my stomach–they are throwing punches. I end up electing to be on time rather than super cute and choose an old sweater over a t-shirt. Completely boring but at this point, this is a huge win–at least I am dressed.

On paper he is everything.

But what will he be like in person?

When I walk in, I see him on the couch. He jumps up and greets me and I can tell he’s just as nervous. He’s taller than I imagined. It’s not every day that six foot, three men are standing before you. His face is warm, sweet, kind and interesting. And in an instant I can tell that he has lived and survived through pain, real pain. The pain of divorce, the pain of raising two children through that. He is equally as strong as he is sensitive and caring. A dad, through and through. I immediately like him and feel like I’ve known him forever.

When we sit down the conversation starts and it doesn’t stop. We are talking (and laughing) for hours. I find out he has recently moved back to Ohio after four years in Texas, my favorite place on the planet. He has passions: his motorcycle, his songwriting, his children, who are five and six. And then, the coffee long gone, we take a walk from Cup o’ Joe into the Short North. We window shop, eat ice cream and when it’s time to get back to Benjamin he tells me he’d like to see me again.

And so it began…

—-

And here we are, kissing on my couch.

The butterflies are there, the lead weights are there. Everything is there and I have absolutely no reservations, no compromises, no settlements. I also have to stand corrected. On the Prince Charming stuff. While I don’t need to be rescued in any way, he definitely exists because, I have found mine.

To prevent any worries on your end, my sweet readers, because I know some of you may be thinking–that I am insane or that my body has been taken hostage by dopamine and other chemically, or hormonally induced forces… there will be no rushing the children into things. As badly as we want everyone to meet, introductions will be made slowly, very slowly. Like a month from now slowly. And even then we will be friends who have play dates once a week or bi-weekly.

We have both learned in the past that being a single parent dating requires patience and planning.

Prince Charming can kiss my ass.

I am a 29 year old, divorced single mom. I left my husband when my son was just four months old. I started this blog one year later.

During that first year, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me. Then something happened. I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

When you are a single mom, juggling a full-time job and raising a child or children – it’s hard to find time to paint your toenails, let alone go out on a date. We don’t have time for rules or drama. We also look at men differently. They could look hot in that pair of jeans but will they be a good father? Would they be a good husband?

And then there’s that whole raising a little human by yourself thing.

This isn’t easy. There aren’t any clear answers.

We can’t make it all go away but we can make it better – piece by piece, day by day. And in the meantime we can keep each other company.

Thanks for reading and please e-mail me with any questions or issues you’d like me to write about at mssinglemama@gmail.com.

Thanks to all of you – my amazing readers – my blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com. You rock. Thanks for being here.

If you’re a single mom looking for dating advice click here.

A video for the dating single moms.

»Watch more videos

»Single Mom Dating Advice

»Skip to the Best Stuff

[Photo: Morgan Siler Photography]

Prince Charming can kiss my ass.

I am a 29 year old, divorced single mom. I left my husband when my son was just four months old. I started this blog one year later.

During that first year, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me. Then something happened. I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

When you are a single mom, juggling a full-time job and raising a child or children – it’s hard to find time to paint your toenails, let alone go out on a date. We don’t have time for rules or drama. We also look at men differently. They could look hot in that pair of jeans but will they be a good father? Would they be a good husband?

And then there’s that whole raising a little human by yourself thing.

This isn’t easy. There aren’t any clear answers.

We can’t make it all go away but we can make it better – piece by piece, day by day. And in the meantime we can keep each other company.

Thanks for reading and please e-mail me with any questions or issues you’d like me to write about at mssinglemama@gmail.com.

Thanks to all of you – my amazing readers – my blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com. You rock. Thanks for being here.

If you’re a single mom looking for dating advice click here.

A video for the dating single moms.

»Watch more videos

»Single Mom Dating Advice

»Skip to the Best Stuff

[Photo: Morgan Siler Photography]

Monday night is my one free night of the week.

It’s the night Benjamin’s father comes. So, I get to go out and have a worry-free night. This week was Monday night #3 with the new man person in my life. I put on my super-hot outfit, kissed Benjamin good-bye and left. He and his father were jumping up and down in the living room jamming to the Fratellis and all was right in the world. Time for this single mom to have some fun!

My date was interesting, to say the least.

I really like this guy and we have major potential but in the past three weeks I have been over-calling him and freaking out. This is new to me. I never used to be like this. I would play by “the rules” and carry out the proper dating etiquette. But, I head out, determined to have a great date and to try and forget all of the crazy confusion I’ve been feeling.

This desperation I’m feeling comes and goes, but when I have a man in my sights I just freak out – thinking – this could be it. It could all be over. Mr. Prince Charming is finally here. I build them up in my minds, then they come crashing down and – poof – he turns into a frog. That aside…

The night develops and he basically calls me out on my nervousness. I tell him – “Every second I spend with you is time spent away from my son and my friends. I only have one or two nights out a week. So I have to know it’s heading somewhere.”

He looks at me and kisses me.

Tells me I look stunningly beautiful and my knees buckle. I’m lost, gone. So far away from mommy land. We finish up our night of bar hopping and head back to his place. I was so caught up in the moment that I left my purse down in his kitchen and didn’t hear the several missed calls from my ex. Woke up in the morning, had more amazing sex, and then dashed home. My mascara running down my eyes, my outfit still hot but wrinkled and smelling of bar smoke.

“What am I doing?” I ask myself. But, I have to do this. If I don’t do this dating thing and if I don’t have time to spend with someone how will I ever actually end up with someone? So I’m rationalizing, justifying and feeling incredibly guilty the entire way home.

I walk inside and there is my Ex, with some horrible news.

“Benjamin puked twice last night.” What!!!???? He has never puked in his little life and I wasn’t there. But, Benjamin survived the experience and so did his father. I feel like an awful mother though for not being there…but at the same time I feel refreshed and happy because I had such an amazing time last night. I don’t think I’m alone. Feeling torn goes with the territory of singlemomdom…ultimately we will have to test men out in order to find one.

UPDATE

The little fling with this particular man person ended less than one week later. Why? I told him about Benjamin puking and he didn’t even bother to ask how he was feeling. Red flag. Weak in the knees or not, I don’t want a man who doesn’t care or even pretend to care about my son.






Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:


Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:
I love Spring.

I love it for the obvious reasons. Spring cleaning with the windows open. Flowers blooming. New beginnings. And the icing on the cake? Topless male runners.

Should half-naked, sweating, hot as hell men be allowed to run down the sidewalks next to busy streets? I could crash. Seriously. It’s dangerous. What would happen if women did it? And guys if you think it’s different, you’re wrong. Because seeing a hot as hell guy with his shirt off is quite the treat for us ladies.

What’s wrong with me? I’m a mother for crying out loud! I can’t believe I’m even writing this.

I’m not supposed be checking guys out like this. And doing it from my car? It’s not like I could even get their numbers? I could start throwing paper airplanes at them. Or maybe bottles of water. Would that work?

Torture. Pure torture.

I could teach Benjamin to throw cookies at them. Or I could just roll down the car window and let him shout at them, “Hi! Hi! Hi!”

He does this to every one he sees. In stores, on streets, at the park and even from the car window. Doesn’t matter who you are. A hobo, a CEO, a goth dude, an old Russian lady – he’ll should “Hi!” repeatedly until you say “Hi” back. Convenient if I want to say “Hi” too.  ;  )

How do you pick up men? Do you pick up men? Guys, how do you pick us up? Secrets or tips anyone? Dish them please.
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
Single Mom blogger, Alaina, Ms. Single Mama
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
Single Mom blogger, Alaina, Ms. Single Mama
He holds my face in his hands and says before kissing me, “Are you feeling this?”

“Yes,” I answer, relieved. “It’s not just me, then?”

“No. It’s not just you,” he says.

“Has this ever happened to you before?” I ask.

“Nope.” He smiles into my eyes.

“Me neither.”

But we just met. This is only our second date.

How is this possible? How can we both be feeling what we’re feeling? Is this purely driven by our physical attraction to one another? Definitely not, I’ve felt that before–this is something entirely different. And I was attracted to him before I even met him. This is something I can’t describe and all of my skepticism all of my cynicism, all of my doubts that love like this exists in the world is immediately gone.

And I can say that this is worth everything preceding it, no matter what follows…

——

The first time I see him it is through the glare of my laptop screen.

I am smiling as I look at his profile pictures. My smile is almost obtrusive because I can’t make it stop. “Why are you smiling like this?” I say out loud. “Stop. Seriously, this is ridiculous. It’s just a profile.” But I can’t. I am talking to myself and smiling and struck.

There he is.

All smiles himself with lovely dark eyes that are smiling even when he is not, the outline of his dimples showing through his beard. In one picture he is holding his daughter on his lap, she one of two children he mentions in his profile.

“They’re incredible. And tiring. And funny. And totally worth all the hard work.”

I scan his stats.

He’s 6’3″, clearly gorgeous, gainfully employed in a position he loves. And then there’s his smile. And my smile. The one that is still on my face. Obtrusive and still there, five minutes later.

What is going on? This is nuts.

I had logged on that afternoon to delete my account on OkCupid.com. I had gone on one really awkward date and couldn’t bear the thought of going on anymore. It would be a waste of time. And I don’t want a man that badly. Not bad enough to do that again.

Before deleting my account I stopped, noticing a stock pile of inbound messages. Hmmmm…. who were these from? I scanned the inbox. Nah, nope, gross! And then there was his face and a message.

Evidently we’re 0% match, 41% friend, and 50% enemy. I think that’s pretty funny, because based on how you describe yourself and your “manperson”, I think we’d actually get along pretty well. So, guess I’m just saying Hi, and I’d like to talk sometime.

Keep being awesome.

We find out later we were 50% enemy because I hadn’t taken the time to properly fill out my profile. I write back immediately and after a few exchanges we have made a Saturday coffee date.

That day I can’t think about much else and after Benjamin marches off to Margaret’s house across the street, she’s my soul mate single mama neighbor, without whom I don’t know what I would do. We both trade our children back and forth all weekend, every weekend. This is one of those times and she’s happily acquired Benjamin so I can get dressed. But I can’t get dressed.

This never happens to me. Sure, I have trouble deciding on what to wear, but in this instance I am literally unable to even find something, anything to wear. The butterflies aren’t just flying around in my stomach–they are throwing punches. I end up electing to be on time rather than super cute and choose an old sweater over a t-shirt. Completely boring but at this point, this is a huge win–at least I am dressed.

On paper he is everything.

But what will he be like in person?

When I walk in, I see him on the couch. He jumps up and greets me and I can tell he’s just as nervous. He’s taller than I imagined. It’s not every day that six foot, three men are standing before you. His face is warm, sweet, kind and interesting. And in an instant I can tell that he has lived and survived through pain, real pain. The pain of divorce, the pain of raising two children through that. He is equally as strong as he is sensitive and caring. A dad, through and through. I immediately like him and feel like I’ve known him forever.

When we sit down the conversation starts and it doesn’t stop. We are talking (and laughing) for hours. I find out he has recently moved back to Ohio after four years in Texas, my favorite place on the planet. He has passions: his motorcycle, his songwriting, his children, who are five and six. And then, the coffee long gone, we take a walk from Cup o’ Joe into the Short North. We window shop, eat ice cream and when it’s time to get back to Benjamin he tells me he’d like to see me again.

And so it began…

—-

And here we are, kissing on my couch.

The butterflies are there, the lead weights are there. Everything is there and I have absolutely no reservations, no compromises, no settlements. I also have to stand corrected. On the Prince Charming stuff. While I don’t need to be rescued in any way, he definitely exists because, I have found mine.

To prevent any worries on your end, my sweet readers, because I know some of you may be thinking–that I am insane or that my body has been taken hostage by dopamine and other chemically, or hormonally induced forces… there will be no rushing the children into things. As badly as we want everyone to meet, introductions will be made slowly, very slowly. Like a month from now slowly. And even then we will be friends who have play dates once a week or bi-weekly.

We have both learned in the past that being a single parent dating requires patience and planning.

Prince Charming can kiss my ass.

I am a 29 year old, divorced single mom. I left my husband when my son was just four months old. I started this blog one year later.

During that first year, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me. Then something happened. I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

When you are a single mom, juggling a full-time job and raising a child or children – it’s hard to find time to paint your toenails, let alone go out on a date. We don’t have time for rules or drama. We also look at men differently. They could look hot in that pair of jeans but will they be a good father? Would they be a good husband?

And then there’s that whole raising a little human by yourself thing.

This isn’t easy. There aren’t any clear answers.

We can’t make it all go away but we can make it better – piece by piece, day by day. And in the meantime we can keep each other company.

Thanks for reading and please e-mail me with any questions or issues you’d like me to write about at mssinglemama@gmail.com.

Thanks to all of you – my amazing readers – my blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com. You rock. Thanks for being here.

If you’re a single mom looking for dating advice click here.

A video for the dating single moms.

»Watch more videos

»Single Mom Dating Advice

»Skip to the Best Stuff

[Photo: Morgan Siler Photography]

Prince Charming can kiss my ass.

I am a 29 year old, divorced single mom. I left my husband when my son was just four months old. I started this blog one year later.

During that first year, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me. Then something happened. I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

When you are a single mom, juggling a full-time job and raising a child or children – it’s hard to find time to paint your toenails, let alone go out on a date. We don’t have time for rules or drama. We also look at men differently. They could look hot in that pair of jeans but will they be a good father? Would they be a good husband?

And then there’s that whole raising a little human by yourself thing.

This isn’t easy. There aren’t any clear answers.

We can’t make it all go away but we can make it better – piece by piece, day by day. And in the meantime we can keep each other company.

Thanks for reading and please e-mail me with any questions or issues you’d like me to write about at mssinglemama@gmail.com.

Thanks to all of you – my amazing readers – my blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com. You rock. Thanks for being here.

If you’re a single mom looking for dating advice click here.

A video for the dating single moms.

»Watch more videos

»Single Mom Dating Advice

»Skip to the Best Stuff

[Photo: Morgan Siler Photography]

Monday night is my one free night of the week.

It’s the night Benjamin’s father comes. So, I get to go out and have a worry-free night. This week was Monday night #3 with the new man person in my life. I put on my super-hot outfit, kissed Benjamin good-bye and left. He and his father were jumping up and down in the living room jamming to the Fratellis and all was right in the world. Time for this single mom to have some fun!

My date was interesting, to say the least.

I really like this guy and we have major potential but in the past three weeks I have been over-calling him and freaking out. This is new to me. I never used to be like this. I would play by “the rules” and carry out the proper dating etiquette. But, I head out, determined to have a great date and to try and forget all of the crazy confusion I’ve been feeling.

This desperation I’m feeling comes and goes, but when I have a man in my sights I just freak out – thinking – this could be it. It could all be over. Mr. Prince Charming is finally here. I build them up in my minds, then they come crashing down and – poof – he turns into a frog. That aside…

The night develops and he basically calls me out on my nervousness. I tell him – “Every second I spend with you is time spent away from my son and my friends. I only have one or two nights out a week. So I have to know it’s heading somewhere.”

He looks at me and kisses me.

Tells me I look stunningly beautiful and my knees buckle. I’m lost, gone. So far away from mommy land. We finish up our night of bar hopping and head back to his place. I was so caught up in the moment that I left my purse down in his kitchen and didn’t hear the several missed calls from my ex. Woke up in the morning, had more amazing sex, and then dashed home. My mascara running down my eyes, my outfit still hot but wrinkled and smelling of bar smoke.

“What am I doing?” I ask myself. But, I have to do this. If I don’t do this dating thing and if I don’t have time to spend with someone how will I ever actually end up with someone? So I’m rationalizing, justifying and feeling incredibly guilty the entire way home.

I walk inside and there is my Ex, with some horrible news.

“Benjamin puked twice last night.” What!!!???? He has never puked in his little life and I wasn’t there. But, Benjamin survived the experience and so did his father. I feel like an awful mother though for not being there…but at the same time I feel refreshed and happy because I had such an amazing time last night. I don’t think I’m alone. Feeling torn goes with the territory of singlemomdom…ultimately we will have to test men out in order to find one.

UPDATE

The little fling with this particular man person ended less than one week later. Why? I told him about Benjamin puking and he didn’t even bother to ask how he was feeling. Red flag. Weak in the knees or not, I don’t want a man who doesn’t care or even pretend to care about my son.


After my last potential prince turned into a frog I looked at my best friend and said, “I just need a nice boyfriend.”

“I know,” she looked slightly concernted, “but it’s okay to be single for a while.” I realized…I have become way too desperate. It is okay to be single. It’s more than okay, it’s actually quite nice.

I used to love being single, used to relish in it and savour every moment knowing I could meet a new boyfriend any day and that these single moments would be lost. So in the past week it’s hit me – why do I really want a man? Do I even need one?

Sure, he could give me back rubs, sex, kisses, cuddles and hopefully make me laugh. But what else? Other than the fact that Benjamin will need a father, I can’t see any other reason to make room for a man in my life right now.

The reasons why I love being a single mom:

  • I get to parent the way I want to parent
  • I get to do whatever I want with Benjamin, whenever
  • I get to focus 100% of my attention on Benjamin
  • I am less stressed out
  • I have more time to keep my life in order: cooking, cleaning, shopping
  • I get to buy whatever I want without criticism
  • I can hang out with whoever, whenever
  • And the best part, I’m completely free and there’s always the chance that some day I will meet my Prince Charming.

Why do you love being a single mom?

Let’s focus on the positive for a moment, shall we? Being a single mom rocks. Really. We are pretty damn amazing. Every single mother I’ve ever met has been so strong, like a rock, fortified in her own solitude completely aware of the challenges and the rewards.

We don’t all have the answers. We don’t know why fate turned us down this path… but we go on, because we have to and in reality it’s not as hard as it sounds. At least we’re not married – that’s what really scares me. Do I need therapy? Maybe. Am I happy? Most of the time. Do I want to find someone eventually? Yes.

That will be another challenge and I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now I’ve got a pretty big bridge to cross. Can I cross two at once? Usually these things happen in a nice order. Love. Marriage. Baby in the baby carriage. Not baby in the baby carriage. Love and then marriage. But, doesn’t that sound like it could be, dare I say it, romantic and fun?

***UPDATE***

You might be interested in another post I wrote on loving single momminess that caused quite a stir with some angry readers. Read it here.




Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:


Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:
I love Spring.

I love it for the obvious reasons. Spring cleaning with the windows open. Flowers blooming. New beginnings. And the icing on the cake? Topless male runners.

Should half-naked, sweating, hot as hell men be allowed to run down the sidewalks next to busy streets? I could crash. Seriously. It’s dangerous. What would happen if women did it? And guys if you think it’s different, you’re wrong. Because seeing a hot as hell guy with his shirt off is quite the treat for us ladies.

What’s wrong with me? I’m a mother for crying out loud! I can’t believe I’m even writing this.

I’m not supposed be checking guys out like this. And doing it from my car? It’s not like I could even get their numbers? I could start throwing paper airplanes at them. Or maybe bottles of water. Would that work?

Torture. Pure torture.

I could teach Benjamin to throw cookies at them. Or I could just roll down the car window and let him shout at them, “Hi! Hi! Hi!”

He does this to every one he sees. In stores, on streets, at the park and even from the car window. Doesn’t matter who you are. A hobo, a CEO, a goth dude, an old Russian lady – he’ll should “Hi!” repeatedly until you say “Hi” back. Convenient if I want to say “Hi” too.  ;  )

How do you pick up men? Do you pick up men? Guys, how do you pick us up? Secrets or tips anyone? Dish them please.
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
Single Mom blogger, Alaina, Ms. Single Mama
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

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My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

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Single Mom blogger, Alaina, Ms. Single Mama
He holds my face in his hands and says before kissing me, “Are you feeling this?”

“Yes,” I answer, relieved. “It’s not just me, then?”

“No. It’s not just you,” he says.

“Has this ever happened to you before?” I ask.

“Nope.” He smiles into my eyes.

“Me neither.”

But we just met. This is only our second date.

How is this possible? How can we both be feeling what we’re feeling? Is this purely driven by our physical attraction to one another? Definitely not, I’ve felt that before–this is something entirely different. And I was attracted to him before I even met him. This is something I can’t describe and all of my skepticism all of my cynicism, all of my doubts that love like this exists in the world is immediately gone.

And I can say that this is worth everything preceding it, no matter what follows…

——

The first time I see him it is through the glare of my laptop screen.

I am smiling as I look at his profile pictures. My smile is almost obtrusive because I can’t make it stop. “Why are you smiling like this?” I say out loud. “Stop. Seriously, this is ridiculous. It’s just a profile.” But I can’t. I am talking to myself and smiling and struck.

There he is.

All smiles himself with lovely dark eyes that are smiling even when he is not, the outline of his dimples showing through his beard. In one picture he is holding his daughter on his lap, she one of two children he mentions in his profile.

“They’re incredible. And tiring. And funny. And totally worth all the hard work.”

I scan his stats.

He’s 6’3″, clearly gorgeous, gainfully employed in a position he loves. And then there’s his smile. And my smile. The one that is still on my face. Obtrusive and still there, five minutes later.

What is going on? This is nuts.

I had logged on that afternoon to delete my account on OkCupid.com. I had gone on one really awkward date and couldn’t bear the thought of going on anymore. It would be a waste of time. And I don’t want a man that badly. Not bad enough to do that again.

Before deleting my account I stopped, noticing a stock pile of inbound messages. Hmmmm…. who were these from? I scanned the inbox. Nah, nope, gross! And then there was his face and a message.

Evidently we’re 0% match, 41% friend, and 50% enemy. I think that’s pretty funny, because based on how you describe yourself and your “manperson”, I think we’d actually get along pretty well. So, guess I’m just saying Hi, and I’d like to talk sometime.

Keep being awesome.

We find out later we were 50% enemy because I hadn’t taken the time to properly fill out my profile. I write back immediately and after a few exchanges we have made a Saturday coffee date.

That day I can’t think about much else and after Benjamin marches off to Margaret’s house across the street, she’s my soul mate single mama neighbor, without whom I don’t know what I would do. We both trade our children back and forth all weekend, every weekend. This is one of those times and she’s happily acquired Benjamin so I can get dressed. But I can’t get dressed.

This never happens to me. Sure, I have trouble deciding on what to wear, but in this instance I am literally unable to even find something, anything to wear. The butterflies aren’t just flying around in my stomach–they are throwing punches. I end up electing to be on time rather than super cute and choose an old sweater over a t-shirt. Completely boring but at this point, this is a huge win–at least I am dressed.

On paper he is everything.

But what will he be like in person?

When I walk in, I see him on the couch. He jumps up and greets me and I can tell he’s just as nervous. He’s taller than I imagined. It’s not every day that six foot, three men are standing before you. His face is warm, sweet, kind and interesting. And in an instant I can tell that he has lived and survived through pain, real pain. The pain of divorce, the pain of raising two children through that. He is equally as strong as he is sensitive and caring. A dad, through and through. I immediately like him and feel like I’ve known him forever.

When we sit down the conversation starts and it doesn’t stop. We are talking (and laughing) for hours. I find out he has recently moved back to Ohio after four years in Texas, my favorite place on the planet. He has passions: his motorcycle, his songwriting, his children, who are five and six. And then, the coffee long gone, we take a walk from Cup o’ Joe into the Short North. We window shop, eat ice cream and when it’s time to get back to Benjamin he tells me he’d like to see me again.

And so it began…

—-

And here we are, kissing on my couch.

The butterflies are there, the lead weights are there. Everything is there and I have absolutely no reservations, no compromises, no settlements. I also have to stand corrected. On the Prince Charming stuff. While I don’t need to be rescued in any way, he definitely exists because, I have found mine.

To prevent any worries on your end, my sweet readers, because I know some of you may be thinking–that I am insane or that my body has been taken hostage by dopamine and other chemically, or hormonally induced forces… there will be no rushing the children into things. As badly as we want everyone to meet, introductions will be made slowly, very slowly. Like a month from now slowly. And even then we will be friends who have play dates once a week or bi-weekly.

We have both learned in the past that being a single parent dating requires patience and planning.

Prince Charming can kiss my ass.

I am a 29 year old, divorced single mom. I left my husband when my son was just four months old. I started this blog one year later.

During that first year, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me. Then something happened. I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

When you are a single mom, juggling a full-time job and raising a child or children – it’s hard to find time to paint your toenails, let alone go out on a date. We don’t have time for rules or drama. We also look at men differently. They could look hot in that pair of jeans but will they be a good father? Would they be a good husband?

And then there’s that whole raising a little human by yourself thing.

This isn’t easy. There aren’t any clear answers.

We can’t make it all go away but we can make it better – piece by piece, day by day. And in the meantime we can keep each other company.

Thanks for reading and please e-mail me with any questions or issues you’d like me to write about at mssinglemama@gmail.com.

Thanks to all of you – my amazing readers – my blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com. You rock. Thanks for being here.

If you’re a single mom looking for dating advice click here.

A video for the dating single moms.

»Watch more videos

»Single Mom Dating Advice

»Skip to the Best Stuff

[Photo: Morgan Siler Photography]

Prince Charming can kiss my ass.

I am a 29 year old, divorced single mom. I left my husband when my son was just four months old. I started this blog one year later.

During that first year, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me. Then something happened. I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

When you are a single mom, juggling a full-time job and raising a child or children – it’s hard to find time to paint your toenails, let alone go out on a date. We don’t have time for rules or drama. We also look at men differently. They could look hot in that pair of jeans but will they be a good father? Would they be a good husband?

And then there’s that whole raising a little human by yourself thing.

This isn’t easy. There aren’t any clear answers.

We can’t make it all go away but we can make it better – piece by piece, day by day. And in the meantime we can keep each other company.

Thanks for reading and please e-mail me with any questions or issues you’d like me to write about at mssinglemama@gmail.com.

Thanks to all of you – my amazing readers – my blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com. You rock. Thanks for being here.

If you’re a single mom looking for dating advice click here.

A video for the dating single moms.

»Watch more videos

»Single Mom Dating Advice

»Skip to the Best Stuff

[Photo: Morgan Siler Photography]

Monday night is my one free night of the week.

It’s the night Benjamin’s father comes. So, I get to go out and have a worry-free night. This week was Monday night #3 with the new man person in my life. I put on my super-hot outfit, kissed Benjamin good-bye and left. He and his father were jumping up and down in the living room jamming to the Fratellis and all was right in the world. Time for this single mom to have some fun!

My date was interesting, to say the least.

I really like this guy and we have major potential but in the past three weeks I have been over-calling him and freaking out. This is new to me. I never used to be like this. I would play by “the rules” and carry out the proper dating etiquette. But, I head out, determined to have a great date and to try and forget all of the crazy confusion I’ve been feeling.

This desperation I’m feeling comes and goes, but when I have a man in my sights I just freak out – thinking – this could be it. It could all be over. Mr. Prince Charming is finally here. I build them up in my minds, then they come crashing down and – poof – he turns into a frog. That aside…

The night develops and he basically calls me out on my nervousness. I tell him – “Every second I spend with you is time spent away from my son and my friends. I only have one or two nights out a week. So I have to know it’s heading somewhere.”

He looks at me and kisses me.

Tells me I look stunningly beautiful and my knees buckle. I’m lost, gone. So far away from mommy land. We finish up our night of bar hopping and head back to his place. I was so caught up in the moment that I left my purse down in his kitchen and didn’t hear the several missed calls from my ex. Woke up in the morning, had more amazing sex, and then dashed home. My mascara running down my eyes, my outfit still hot but wrinkled and smelling of bar smoke.

“What am I doing?” I ask myself. But, I have to do this. If I don’t do this dating thing and if I don’t have time to spend with someone how will I ever actually end up with someone? So I’m rationalizing, justifying and feeling incredibly guilty the entire way home.

I walk inside and there is my Ex, with some horrible news.

“Benjamin puked twice last night.” What!!!???? He has never puked in his little life and I wasn’t there. But, Benjamin survived the experience and so did his father. I feel like an awful mother though for not being there…but at the same time I feel refreshed and happy because I had such an amazing time last night. I don’t think I’m alone. Feeling torn goes with the territory of singlemomdom…ultimately we will have to test men out in order to find one.

UPDATE

The little fling with this particular man person ended less than one week later. Why? I told him about Benjamin puking and he didn’t even bother to ask how he was feeling. Red flag. Weak in the knees or not, I don’t want a man who doesn’t care or even pretend to care about my son.


After my last potential prince turned into a frog I looked at my best friend and said, “I just need a nice boyfriend.”

“I know,” she looked slightly concernted, “but it’s okay to be single for a while.” I realized…I have become way too desperate. It is okay to be single. It’s more than okay, it’s actually quite nice.

I used to love being single, used to relish in it and savour every moment knowing I could meet a new boyfriend any day and that these single moments would be lost. So in the past week it’s hit me – why do I really want a man? Do I even need one?

Sure, he could give me back rubs, sex, kisses, cuddles and hopefully make me laugh. But what else? Other than the fact that Benjamin will need a father, I can’t see any other reason to make room for a man in my life right now.

The reasons why I love being a single mom:

  • I get to parent the way I want to parent
  • I get to do whatever I want with Benjamin, whenever
  • I get to focus 100% of my attention on Benjamin
  • I am less stressed out
  • I have more time to keep my life in order: cooking, cleaning, shopping
  • I get to buy whatever I want without criticism
  • I can hang out with whoever, whenever
  • And the best part, I’m completely free and there’s always the chance that some day I will meet my Prince Charming.

Why do you love being a single mom?

Let’s focus on the positive for a moment, shall we? Being a single mom rocks. Really. We are pretty damn amazing. Every single mother I’ve ever met has been so strong, like a rock, fortified in her own solitude completely aware of the challenges and the rewards.

We don’t all have the answers. We don’t know why fate turned us down this path… but we go on, because we have to and in reality it’s not as hard as it sounds. At least we’re not married – that’s what really scares me. Do I need therapy? Maybe. Am I happy? Most of the time. Do I want to find someone eventually? Yes.

That will be another challenge and I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now I’ve got a pretty big bridge to cross. Can I cross two at once? Usually these things happen in a nice order. Love. Marriage. Baby in the baby carriage. Not baby in the baby carriage. Love and then marriage. But, doesn’t that sound like it could be, dare I say it, romantic and fun?

***UPDATE***

You might be interested in another post I wrote on loving single momminess that caused quite a stir with some angry readers. Read it here.
After my last potential prince turned into a frog I looked at my best friend and said, “I just need a nice boyfriend.”

“I know,” she looked slightly concernted, “but it’s okay to be single for a while.” I realized…I have become way too desperate. It is okay to be single. It’s more than okay, it’s actually quite nice.

I used to love being single, used to relish in it and savour every moment knowing I could meet a new boyfriend any day and that these single moments would be lost. So in the past week it’s hit me – why do I really want a man? Do I even need one?

Sure, he could give me back rubs, sex, kisses, cuddles and hopefully make me laugh. But what else? Other than the fact that Benjamin will need a father, I can’t see any other reason to make room for a man in my life right now.

The reasons why I love being a single mom:

  • I get to parent the way I want to parent
  • I get to do whatever I want with Benjamin, whenever
  • I get to focus 100% of my attention on Benjamin
  • I am less stressed out
  • I have more time to keep my life in order: cooking, cleaning, shopping
  • I get to buy whatever I want without criticism
  • I can hang out with whoever, whenever
  • And the best part, I’m completely free and there’s always the chance that some day I will meet my Prince Charming.

Why do you love being a single mom?

Let’s focus on the positive for a moment, shall we? Being a single mom rocks. Really. We are pretty damn amazing. Every single mother I’ve ever met has been so strong, like a rock, fortified in her own solitude completely aware of the challenges and the rewards.

We don’t all have the answers. We don’t know why fate turned us down this path… but we go on, because we have to and in reality it’s not as hard as it sounds. At least we’re not married – that’s what really scares me. Do I need therapy? Maybe. Am I happy? Most of the time. Do I want to find someone eventually? Yes.

That will be another challenge and I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now I’ve got a pretty big bridge to cross. Can I cross two at once? Usually these things happen in a nice order. Love. Marriage. Baby in the baby carriage. Not baby in the baby carriage. Love and then marriage. But, doesn’t that sound like it could be, dare I say it, romantic and fun?

***UPDATE***

You might be interested in another post I wrote on loving single momminess that caused quite a stir with some angry readers. Read it here.
After my last potential prince turned into a frog I looked at my best friend and said, “I just need a nice boyfriend.”

“I know,” she looked slightly concernted, “but it’s okay to be single for a while.” I realized…I have become way too desperate. It is okay to be single. It’s more than okay, it’s actually quite nice.

I used to love being single, used to relish in it and savour every moment knowing I could meet a new boyfriend any day and that these single moments would be lost. So in the past week it’s hit me – why do I really want a man? Do I even need one?

Sure, he could give me back rubs, sex, kisses, cuddles and hopefully make me laugh. But what else? Other than the fact that Benjamin will need a father, I can’t see any other reason to make room for a man in my life right now.

The reasons why I love being a single mom:

  • I get to parent the way I want to parent
  • I get to do whatever I want with Benjamin, whenever
  • I get to focus 100% of my attention on Benjamin
  • I am less stressed out
  • I have more time to keep my life in order: cooking, cleaning, shopping
  • I get to buy whatever I want without criticism
  • I can hang out with whoever, whenever
  • And the best part, I’m completely free and there’s always the chance that some day I will meet my Prince Charming.

Why do you love being a single mom?

Let’s focus on the positive for a moment, shall we? Being a single mom rocks. Really. We are pretty damn amazing. Every single mother I’ve ever met has been so strong, like a rock, fortified in her own solitude completely aware of the challenges and the rewards.

We don’t all have the answers. We don’t know why fate turned us down this path… but we go on, because we have to and in reality it’s not as hard as it sounds. At least we’re not married – that’s what really scares me. Do I need therapy? Maybe. Am I happy? Most of the time. Do I want to find someone eventually? Yes.

That will be another challenge and I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now I’ve got a pretty big bridge to cross. Can I cross two at once? Usually these things happen in a nice order. Love. Marriage. Baby in the baby carriage. Not baby in the baby carriage. Love and then marriage. But, doesn’t that sound like it could be, dare I say it, romantic and fun?

***UPDATE***

You might be interested in another post I wrote on loving single momminess that caused quite a stir with some angry readers. Read it here.

»This website has moved to MsSingleMama.com.

Why? Because this single mom outgrew the old space – so get your but over here to see the latest from Ms. Single Mama!




Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:


Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:
I love Spring.

I love it for the obvious reasons. Spring cleaning with the windows open. Flowers blooming. New beginnings. And the icing on the cake? Topless male runners.

Should half-naked, sweating, hot as hell men be allowed to run down the sidewalks next to busy streets? I could crash. Seriously. It’s dangerous. What would happen if women did it? And guys if you think it’s different, you’re wrong. Because seeing a hot as hell guy with his shirt off is quite the treat for us ladies.

What’s wrong with me? I’m a mother for crying out loud! I can’t believe I’m even writing this.

I’m not supposed be checking guys out like this. And doing it from my car? It’s not like I could even get their numbers? I could start throwing paper airplanes at them. Or maybe bottles of water. Would that work?

Torture. Pure torture.

I could teach Benjamin to throw cookies at them. Or I could just roll down the car window and let him shout at them, “Hi! Hi! Hi!”

He does this to every one he sees. In stores, on streets, at the park and even from the car window. Doesn’t matter who you are. A hobo, a CEO, a goth dude, an old Russian lady – he’ll should “Hi!” repeatedly until you say “Hi” back. Convenient if I want to say “Hi” too.  ;  )

How do you pick up men? Do you pick up men? Guys, how do you pick us up? Secrets or tips anyone? Dish them please.
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
Single Mom blogger, Alaina, Ms. Single Mama
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
Single Mom blogger, Alaina, Ms. Single Mama
He holds my face in his hands and says before kissing me, “Are you feeling this?”

“Yes,” I answer, relieved. “It’s not just me, then?”

“No. It’s not just you,” he says.

“Has this ever happened to you before?” I ask.

“Nope.” He smiles into my eyes.

“Me neither.”

But we just met. This is only our second date.

How is this possible? How can we both be feeling what we’re feeling? Is this purely driven by our physical attraction to one another? Definitely not, I’ve felt that before–this is something entirely different. And I was attracted to him before I even met him. This is something I can’t describe and all of my skepticism all of my cynicism, all of my doubts that love like this exists in the world is immediately gone.

And I can say that this is worth everything preceding it, no matter what follows…

——

The first time I see him it is through the glare of my laptop screen.

I am smiling as I look at his profile pictures. My smile is almost obtrusive because I can’t make it stop. “Why are you smiling like this?” I say out loud. “Stop. Seriously, this is ridiculous. It’s just a profile.” But I can’t. I am talking to myself and smiling and struck.

There he is.

All smiles himself with lovely dark eyes that are smiling even when he is not, the outline of his dimples showing through his beard. In one picture he is holding his daughter on his lap, she one of two children he mentions in his profile.

“They’re incredible. And tiring. And funny. And totally worth all the hard work.”

I scan his stats.

He’s 6’3″, clearly gorgeous, gainfully employed in a position he loves. And then there’s his smile. And my smile. The one that is still on my face. Obtrusive and still there, five minutes later.

What is going on? This is nuts.

I had logged on that afternoon to delete my account on OkCupid.com. I had gone on one really awkward date and couldn’t bear the thought of going on anymore. It would be a waste of time. And I don’t want a man that badly. Not bad enough to do that again.

Before deleting my account I stopped, noticing a stock pile of inbound messages. Hmmmm…. who were these from? I scanned the inbox. Nah, nope, gross! And then there was his face and a message.

Evidently we’re 0% match, 41% friend, and 50% enemy. I think that’s pretty funny, because based on how you describe yourself and your “manperson”, I think we’d actually get along pretty well. So, guess I’m just saying Hi, and I’d like to talk sometime.

Keep being awesome.

We find out later we were 50% enemy because I hadn’t taken the time to properly fill out my profile. I write back immediately and after a few exchanges we have made a Saturday coffee date.

That day I can’t think about much else and after Benjamin marches off to Margaret’s house across the street, she’s my soul mate single mama neighbor, without whom I don’t know what I would do. We both trade our children back and forth all weekend, every weekend. This is one of those times and she’s happily acquired Benjamin so I can get dressed. But I can’t get dressed.

This never happens to me. Sure, I have trouble deciding on what to wear, but in this instance I am literally unable to even find something, anything to wear. The butterflies aren’t just flying around in my stomach–they are throwing punches. I end up electing to be on time rather than super cute and choose an old sweater over a t-shirt. Completely boring but at this point, this is a huge win–at least I am dressed.

On paper he is everything.

But what will he be like in person?

When I walk in, I see him on the couch. He jumps up and greets me and I can tell he’s just as nervous. He’s taller than I imagined. It’s not every day that six foot, three men are standing before you. His face is warm, sweet, kind and interesting. And in an instant I can tell that he has lived and survived through pain, real pain. The pain of divorce, the pain of raising two children through that. He is equally as strong as he is sensitive and caring. A dad, through and through. I immediately like him and feel like I’ve known him forever.

When we sit down the conversation starts and it doesn’t stop. We are talking (and laughing) for hours. I find out he has recently moved back to Ohio after four years in Texas, my favorite place on the planet. He has passions: his motorcycle, his songwriting, his children, who are five and six. And then, the coffee long gone, we take a walk from Cup o’ Joe into the Short North. We window shop, eat ice cream and when it’s time to get back to Benjamin he tells me he’d like to see me again.

And so it began…

—-

And here we are, kissing on my couch.

The butterflies are there, the lead weights are there. Everything is there and I have absolutely no reservations, no compromises, no settlements. I also have to stand corrected. On the Prince Charming stuff. While I don’t need to be rescued in any way, he definitely exists because, I have found mine.

To prevent any worries on your end, my sweet readers, because I know some of you may be thinking–that I am insane or that my body has been taken hostage by dopamine and other chemically, or hormonally induced forces… there will be no rushing the children into things. As badly as we want everyone to meet, introductions will be made slowly, very slowly. Like a month from now slowly. And even then we will be friends who have play dates once a week or bi-weekly.

We have both learned in the past that being a single parent dating requires patience and planning.

Prince Charming can kiss my ass.

I am a 29 year old, divorced single mom. I left my husband when my son was just four months old. I started this blog one year later.

During that first year, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me. Then something happened. I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

When you are a single mom, juggling a full-time job and raising a child or children – it’s hard to find time to paint your toenails, let alone go out on a date. We don’t have time for rules or drama. We also look at men differently. They could look hot in that pair of jeans but will they be a good father? Would they be a good husband?

And then there’s that whole raising a little human by yourself thing.

This isn’t easy. There aren’t any clear answers.

We can’t make it all go away but we can make it better – piece by piece, day by day. And in the meantime we can keep each other company.

Thanks for reading and please e-mail me with any questions or issues you’d like me to write about at mssinglemama@gmail.com.

Thanks to all of you – my amazing readers – my blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com. You rock. Thanks for being here.

If you’re a single mom looking for dating advice click here.

A video for the dating single moms.

»Watch more videos

»Single Mom Dating Advice

»Skip to the Best Stuff

[Photo: Morgan Siler Photography]

Prince Charming can kiss my ass.

I am a 29 year old, divorced single mom. I left my husband when my son was just four months old. I started this blog one year later.

During that first year, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me. Then something happened. I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

When you are a single mom, juggling a full-time job and raising a child or children – it’s hard to find time to paint your toenails, let alone go out on a date. We don’t have time for rules or drama. We also look at men differently. They could look hot in that pair of jeans but will they be a good father? Would they be a good husband?

And then there’s that whole raising a little human by yourself thing.

This isn’t easy. There aren’t any clear answers.

We can’t make it all go away but we can make it better – piece by piece, day by day. And in the meantime we can keep each other company.

Thanks for reading and please e-mail me with any questions or issues you’d like me to write about at mssinglemama@gmail.com.

Thanks to all of you – my amazing readers – my blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com. You rock. Thanks for being here.

If you’re a single mom looking for dating advice click here.

A video for the dating single moms.

»Watch more videos

»Single Mom Dating Advice

»Skip to the Best Stuff

[Photo: Morgan Siler Photography]

Monday night is my one free night of the week.

It’s the night Benjamin’s father comes. So, I get to go out and have a worry-free night. This week was Monday night #3 with the new man person in my life. I put on my super-hot outfit, kissed Benjamin good-bye and left. He and his father were jumping up and down in the living room jamming to the Fratellis and all was right in the world. Time for this single mom to have some fun!

My date was interesting, to say the least.

I really like this guy and we have major potential but in the past three weeks I have been over-calling him and freaking out. This is new to me. I never used to be like this. I would play by “the rules” and carry out the proper dating etiquette. But, I head out, determined to have a great date and to try and forget all of the crazy confusion I’ve been feeling.

This desperation I’m feeling comes and goes, but when I have a man in my sights I just freak out – thinking – this could be it. It could all be over. Mr. Prince Charming is finally here. I build them up in my minds, then they come crashing down and – poof – he turns into a frog. That aside…

The night develops and he basically calls me out on my nervousness. I tell him – “Every second I spend with you is time spent away from my son and my friends. I only have one or two nights out a week. So I have to know it’s heading somewhere.”

He looks at me and kisses me.

Tells me I look stunningly beautiful and my knees buckle. I’m lost, gone. So far away from mommy land. We finish up our night of bar hopping and head back to his place. I was so caught up in the moment that I left my purse down in his kitchen and didn’t hear the several missed calls from my ex. Woke up in the morning, had more amazing sex, and then dashed home. My mascara running down my eyes, my outfit still hot but wrinkled and smelling of bar smoke.

“What am I doing?” I ask myself. But, I have to do this. If I don’t do this dating thing and if I don’t have time to spend with someone how will I ever actually end up with someone? So I’m rationalizing, justifying and feeling incredibly guilty the entire way home.

I walk inside and there is my Ex, with some horrible news.

“Benjamin puked twice last night.” What!!!???? He has never puked in his little life and I wasn’t there. But, Benjamin survived the experience and so did his father. I feel like an awful mother though for not being there…but at the same time I feel refreshed and happy because I had such an amazing time last night. I don’t think I’m alone. Feeling torn goes with the territory of singlemomdom…ultimately we will have to test men out in order to find one.

UPDATE

The little fling with this particular man person ended less than one week later. Why? I told him about Benjamin puking and he didn’t even bother to ask how he was feeling. Red flag. Weak in the knees or not, I don’t want a man who doesn’t care or even pretend to care about my son.


After my last potential prince turned into a frog I looked at my best friend and said, “I just need a nice boyfriend.”

“I know,” she looked slightly concernted, “but it’s okay to be single for a while.” I realized…I have become way too desperate. It is okay to be single. It’s more than okay, it’s actually quite nice.

I used to love being single, used to relish in it and savour every moment knowing I could meet a new boyfriend any day and that these single moments would be lost. So in the past week it’s hit me – why do I really want a man? Do I even need one?

Sure, he could give me back rubs, sex, kisses, cuddles and hopefully make me laugh. But what else? Other than the fact that Benjamin will need a father, I can’t see any other reason to make room for a man in my life right now.

The reasons why I love being a single mom:

  • I get to parent the way I want to parent
  • I get to do whatever I want with Benjamin, whenever
  • I get to focus 100% of my attention on Benjamin
  • I am less stressed out
  • I have more time to keep my life in order: cooking, cleaning, shopping
  • I get to buy whatever I want without criticism
  • I can hang out with whoever, whenever
  • And the best part, I’m completely free and there’s always the chance that some day I will meet my Prince Charming.

Why do you love being a single mom?

Let’s focus on the positive for a moment, shall we? Being a single mom rocks. Really. We are pretty damn amazing. Every single mother I’ve ever met has been so strong, like a rock, fortified in her own solitude completely aware of the challenges and the rewards.

We don’t all have the answers. We don’t know why fate turned us down this path… but we go on, because we have to and in reality it’s not as hard as it sounds. At least we’re not married – that’s what really scares me. Do I need therapy? Maybe. Am I happy? Most of the time. Do I want to find someone eventually? Yes.

That will be another challenge and I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now I’ve got a pretty big bridge to cross. Can I cross two at once? Usually these things happen in a nice order. Love. Marriage. Baby in the baby carriage. Not baby in the baby carriage. Love and then marriage. But, doesn’t that sound like it could be, dare I say it, romantic and fun?

***UPDATE***

You might be interested in another post I wrote on loving single momminess that caused quite a stir with some angry readers. Read it here.
After my last potential prince turned into a frog I looked at my best friend and said, “I just need a nice boyfriend.”

“I know,” she looked slightly concernted, “but it’s okay to be single for a while.” I realized…I have become way too desperate. It is okay to be single. It’s more than okay, it’s actually quite nice.

I used to love being single, used to relish in it and savour every moment knowing I could meet a new boyfriend any day and that these single moments would be lost. So in the past week it’s hit me – why do I really want a man? Do I even need one?

Sure, he could give me back rubs, sex, kisses, cuddles and hopefully make me laugh. But what else? Other than the fact that Benjamin will need a father, I can’t see any other reason to make room for a man in my life right now.

The reasons why I love being a single mom:

  • I get to parent the way I want to parent
  • I get to do whatever I want with Benjamin, whenever
  • I get to focus 100% of my attention on Benjamin
  • I am less stressed out
  • I have more time to keep my life in order: cooking, cleaning, shopping
  • I get to buy whatever I want without criticism
  • I can hang out with whoever, whenever
  • And the best part, I’m completely free and there’s always the chance that some day I will meet my Prince Charming.

Why do you love being a single mom?

Let’s focus on the positive for a moment, shall we? Being a single mom rocks. Really. We are pretty damn amazing. Every single mother I’ve ever met has been so strong, like a rock, fortified in her own solitude completely aware of the challenges and the rewards.

We don’t all have the answers. We don’t know why fate turned us down this path… but we go on, because we have to and in reality it’s not as hard as it sounds. At least we’re not married – that’s what really scares me. Do I need therapy? Maybe. Am I happy? Most of the time. Do I want to find someone eventually? Yes.

That will be another challenge and I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now I’ve got a pretty big bridge to cross. Can I cross two at once? Usually these things happen in a nice order. Love. Marriage. Baby in the baby carriage. Not baby in the baby carriage. Love and then marriage. But, doesn’t that sound like it could be, dare I say it, romantic and fun?

***UPDATE***

You might be interested in another post I wrote on loving single momminess that caused quite a stir with some angry readers. Read it here.
After my last potential prince turned into a frog I looked at my best friend and said, “I just need a nice boyfriend.”

“I know,” she looked slightly concernted, “but it’s okay to be single for a while.” I realized…I have become way too desperate. It is okay to be single. It’s more than okay, it’s actually quite nice.

I used to love being single, used to relish in it and savour every moment knowing I could meet a new boyfriend any day and that these single moments would be lost. So in the past week it’s hit me – why do I really want a man? Do I even need one?

Sure, he could give me back rubs, sex, kisses, cuddles and hopefully make me laugh. But what else? Other than the fact that Benjamin will need a father, I can’t see any other reason to make room for a man in my life right now.

The reasons why I love being a single mom:

  • I get to parent the way I want to parent
  • I get to do whatever I want with Benjamin, whenever
  • I get to focus 100% of my attention on Benjamin
  • I am less stressed out
  • I have more time to keep my life in order: cooking, cleaning, shopping
  • I get to buy whatever I want without criticism
  • I can hang out with whoever, whenever
  • And the best part, I’m completely free and there’s always the chance that some day I will meet my Prince Charming.

Why do you love being a single mom?

Let’s focus on the positive for a moment, shall we? Being a single mom rocks. Really. We are pretty damn amazing. Every single mother I’ve ever met has been so strong, like a rock, fortified in her own solitude completely aware of the challenges and the rewards.

We don’t all have the answers. We don’t know why fate turned us down this path… but we go on, because we have to and in reality it’s not as hard as it sounds. At least we’re not married – that’s what really scares me. Do I need therapy? Maybe. Am I happy? Most of the time. Do I want to find someone eventually? Yes.

That will be another challenge and I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now I’ve got a pretty big bridge to cross. Can I cross two at once? Usually these things happen in a nice order. Love. Marriage. Baby in the baby carriage. Not baby in the baby carriage. Love and then marriage. But, doesn’t that sound like it could be, dare I say it, romantic and fun?

***UPDATE***

You might be interested in another post I wrote on loving single momminess that caused quite a stir with some angry readers. Read it here.

»This website has moved to MsSingleMama.com.

Why? Because this single mom outgrew the old space – so get your but over here to see the latest from Ms. Single Mama!
My parents, on their honeymoon.




Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:


Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:
I love Spring.

I love it for the obvious reasons. Spring cleaning with the windows open. Flowers blooming. New beginnings. And the icing on the cake? Topless male runners.

Should half-naked, sweating, hot as hell men be allowed to run down the sidewalks next to busy streets? I could crash. Seriously. It’s dangerous. What would happen if women did it? And guys if you think it’s different, you’re wrong. Because seeing a hot as hell guy with his shirt off is quite the treat for us ladies.

What’s wrong with me? I’m a mother for crying out loud! I can’t believe I’m even writing this.

I’m not supposed be checking guys out like this. And doing it from my car? It’s not like I could even get their numbers? I could start throwing paper airplanes at them. Or maybe bottles of water. Would that work?

Torture. Pure torture.

I could teach Benjamin to throw cookies at them. Or I could just roll down the car window and let him shout at them, “Hi! Hi! Hi!”

He does this to every one he sees. In stores, on streets, at the park and even from the car window. Doesn’t matter who you are. A hobo, a CEO, a goth dude, an old Russian lady – he’ll should “Hi!” repeatedly until you say “Hi” back. Convenient if I want to say “Hi” too.  ;  )

How do you pick up men? Do you pick up men? Guys, how do you pick us up? Secrets or tips anyone? Dish them please.
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
Single Mom blogger, Alaina, Ms. Single Mama
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
Single Mom blogger, Alaina, Ms. Single Mama
He holds my face in his hands and says before kissing me, “Are you feeling this?”

“Yes,” I answer, relieved. “It’s not just me, then?”

“No. It’s not just you,” he says.

“Has this ever happened to you before?” I ask.

“Nope.” He smiles into my eyes.

“Me neither.”

But we just met. This is only our second date.

How is this possible? How can we both be feeling what we’re feeling? Is this purely driven by our physical attraction to one another? Definitely not, I’ve felt that before–this is something entirely different. And I was attracted to him before I even met him. This is something I can’t describe and all of my skepticism all of my cynicism, all of my doubts that love like this exists in the world is immediately gone.

And I can say that this is worth everything preceding it, no matter what follows…

——

The first time I see him it is through the glare of my laptop screen.

I am smiling as I look at his profile pictures. My smile is almost obtrusive because I can’t make it stop. “Why are you smiling like this?” I say out loud. “Stop. Seriously, this is ridiculous. It’s just a profile.” But I can’t. I am talking to myself and smiling and struck.

There he is.

All smiles himself with lovely dark eyes that are smiling even when he is not, the outline of his dimples showing through his beard. In one picture he is holding his daughter on his lap, she one of two children he mentions in his profile.

“They’re incredible. And tiring. And funny. And totally worth all the hard work.”

I scan his stats.

He’s 6’3″, clearly gorgeous, gainfully employed in a position he loves. And then there’s his smile. And my smile. The one that is still on my face. Obtrusive and still there, five minutes later.

What is going on? This is nuts.

I had logged on that afternoon to delete my account on OkCupid.com. I had gone on one really awkward date and couldn’t bear the thought of going on anymore. It would be a waste of time. And I don’t want a man that badly. Not bad enough to do that again.

Before deleting my account I stopped, noticing a stock pile of inbound messages. Hmmmm…. who were these from? I scanned the inbox. Nah, nope, gross! And then there was his face and a message.

Evidently we’re 0% match, 41% friend, and 50% enemy. I think that’s pretty funny, because based on how you describe yourself and your “manperson”, I think we’d actually get along pretty well. So, guess I’m just saying Hi, and I’d like to talk sometime.

Keep being awesome.

We find out later we were 50% enemy because I hadn’t taken the time to properly fill out my profile. I write back immediately and after a few exchanges we have made a Saturday coffee date.

That day I can’t think about much else and after Benjamin marches off to Margaret’s house across the street, she’s my soul mate single mama neighbor, without whom I don’t know what I would do. We both trade our children back and forth all weekend, every weekend. This is one of those times and she’s happily acquired Benjamin so I can get dressed. But I can’t get dressed.

This never happens to me. Sure, I have trouble deciding on what to wear, but in this instance I am literally unable to even find something, anything to wear. The butterflies aren’t just flying around in my stomach–they are throwing punches. I end up electing to be on time rather than super cute and choose an old sweater over a t-shirt. Completely boring but at this point, this is a huge win–at least I am dressed.

On paper he is everything.

But what will he be like in person?

When I walk in, I see him on the couch. He jumps up and greets me and I can tell he’s just as nervous. He’s taller than I imagined. It’s not every day that six foot, three men are standing before you. His face is warm, sweet, kind and interesting. And in an instant I can tell that he has lived and survived through pain, real pain. The pain of divorce, the pain of raising two children through that. He is equally as strong as he is sensitive and caring. A dad, through and through. I immediately like him and feel like I’ve known him forever.

When we sit down the conversation starts and it doesn’t stop. We are talking (and laughing) for hours. I find out he has recently moved back to Ohio after four years in Texas, my favorite place on the planet. He has passions: his motorcycle, his songwriting, his children, who are five and six. And then, the coffee long gone, we take a walk from Cup o’ Joe into the Short North. We window shop, eat ice cream and when it’s time to get back to Benjamin he tells me he’d like to see me again.

And so it began…

—-

And here we are, kissing on my couch.

The butterflies are there, the lead weights are there. Everything is there and I have absolutely no reservations, no compromises, no settlements. I also have to stand corrected. On the Prince Charming stuff. While I don’t need to be rescued in any way, he definitely exists because, I have found mine.

To prevent any worries on your end, my sweet readers, because I know some of you may be thinking–that I am insane or that my body has been taken hostage by dopamine and other chemically, or hormonally induced forces… there will be no rushing the children into things. As badly as we want everyone to meet, introductions will be made slowly, very slowly. Like a month from now slowly. And even then we will be friends who have play dates once a week or bi-weekly.

We have both learned in the past that being a single parent dating requires patience and planning.

Prince Charming can kiss my ass.

I am a 29 year old, divorced single mom. I left my husband when my son was just four months old. I started this blog one year later.

During that first year, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me. Then something happened. I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

When you are a single mom, juggling a full-time job and raising a child or children – it’s hard to find time to paint your toenails, let alone go out on a date. We don’t have time for rules or drama. We also look at men differently. They could look hot in that pair of jeans but will they be a good father? Would they be a good husband?

And then there’s that whole raising a little human by yourself thing.

This isn’t easy. There aren’t any clear answers.

We can’t make it all go away but we can make it better – piece by piece, day by day. And in the meantime we can keep each other company.

Thanks for reading and please e-mail me with any questions or issues you’d like me to write about at mssinglemama@gmail.com.

Thanks to all of you – my amazing readers – my blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com. You rock. Thanks for being here.

If you’re a single mom looking for dating advice click here.

A video for the dating single moms.

»Watch more videos

»Single Mom Dating Advice

»Skip to the Best Stuff

[Photo: Morgan Siler Photography]

Prince Charming can kiss my ass.

I am a 29 year old, divorced single mom. I left my husband when my son was just four months old. I started this blog one year later.

During that first year, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me. Then something happened. I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

When you are a single mom, juggling a full-time job and raising a child or children – it’s hard to find time to paint your toenails, let alone go out on a date. We don’t have time for rules or drama. We also look at men differently. They could look hot in that pair of jeans but will they be a good father? Would they be a good husband?

And then there’s that whole raising a little human by yourself thing.

This isn’t easy. There aren’t any clear answers.

We can’t make it all go away but we can make it better – piece by piece, day by day. And in the meantime we can keep each other company.

Thanks for reading and please e-mail me with any questions or issues you’d like me to write about at mssinglemama@gmail.com.

Thanks to all of you – my amazing readers – my blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com. You rock. Thanks for being here.

If you’re a single mom looking for dating advice click here.

A video for the dating single moms.

»Watch more videos

»Single Mom Dating Advice

»Skip to the Best Stuff

[Photo: Morgan Siler Photography]

Monday night is my one free night of the week.

It’s the night Benjamin’s father comes. So, I get to go out and have a worry-free night. This week was Monday night #3 with the new man person in my life. I put on my super-hot outfit, kissed Benjamin good-bye and left. He and his father were jumping up and down in the living room jamming to the Fratellis and all was right in the world. Time for this single mom to have some fun!

My date was interesting, to say the least.

I really like this guy and we have major potential but in the past three weeks I have been over-calling him and freaking out. This is new to me. I never used to be like this. I would play by “the rules” and carry out the proper dating etiquette. But, I head out, determined to have a great date and to try and forget all of the crazy confusion I’ve been feeling.

This desperation I’m feeling comes and goes, but when I have a man in my sights I just freak out – thinking – this could be it. It could all be over. Mr. Prince Charming is finally here. I build them up in my minds, then they come crashing down and – poof – he turns into a frog. That aside…

The night develops and he basically calls me out on my nervousness. I tell him – “Every second I spend with you is time spent away from my son and my friends. I only have one or two nights out a week. So I have to know it’s heading somewhere.”

He looks at me and kisses me.

Tells me I look stunningly beautiful and my knees buckle. I’m lost, gone. So far away from mommy land. We finish up our night of bar hopping and head back to his place. I was so caught up in the moment that I left my purse down in his kitchen and didn’t hear the several missed calls from my ex. Woke up in the morning, had more amazing sex, and then dashed home. My mascara running down my eyes, my outfit still hot but wrinkled and smelling of bar smoke.

“What am I doing?” I ask myself. But, I have to do this. If I don’t do this dating thing and if I don’t have time to spend with someone how will I ever actually end up with someone? So I’m rationalizing, justifying and feeling incredibly guilty the entire way home.

I walk inside and there is my Ex, with some horrible news.

“Benjamin puked twice last night.” What!!!???? He has never puked in his little life and I wasn’t there. But, Benjamin survived the experience and so did his father. I feel like an awful mother though for not being there…but at the same time I feel refreshed and happy because I had such an amazing time last night. I don’t think I’m alone. Feeling torn goes with the territory of singlemomdom…ultimately we will have to test men out in order to find one.

UPDATE

The little fling with this particular man person ended less than one week later. Why? I told him about Benjamin puking and he didn’t even bother to ask how he was feeling. Red flag. Weak in the knees or not, I don’t want a man who doesn’t care or even pretend to care about my son.


After my last potential prince turned into a frog I looked at my best friend and said, “I just need a nice boyfriend.”

“I know,” she looked slightly concernted, “but it’s okay to be single for a while.” I realized…I have become way too desperate. It is okay to be single. It’s more than okay, it’s actually quite nice.

I used to love being single, used to relish in it and savour every moment knowing I could meet a new boyfriend any day and that these single moments would be lost. So in the past week it’s hit me – why do I really want a man? Do I even need one?

Sure, he could give me back rubs, sex, kisses, cuddles and hopefully make me laugh. But what else? Other than the fact that Benjamin will need a father, I can’t see any other reason to make room for a man in my life right now.

The reasons why I love being a single mom:

  • I get to parent the way I want to parent
  • I get to do whatever I want with Benjamin, whenever
  • I get to focus 100% of my attention on Benjamin
  • I am less stressed out
  • I have more time to keep my life in order: cooking, cleaning, shopping
  • I get to buy whatever I want without criticism
  • I can hang out with whoever, whenever
  • And the best part, I’m completely free and there’s always the chance that some day I will meet my Prince Charming.

Why do you love being a single mom?

Let’s focus on the positive for a moment, shall we? Being a single mom rocks. Really. We are pretty damn amazing. Every single mother I’ve ever met has been so strong, like a rock, fortified in her own solitude completely aware of the challenges and the rewards.

We don’t all have the answers. We don’t know why fate turned us down this path… but we go on, because we have to and in reality it’s not as hard as it sounds. At least we’re not married – that’s what really scares me. Do I need therapy? Maybe. Am I happy? Most of the time. Do I want to find someone eventually? Yes.

That will be another challenge and I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now I’ve got a pretty big bridge to cross. Can I cross two at once? Usually these things happen in a nice order. Love. Marriage. Baby in the baby carriage. Not baby in the baby carriage. Love and then marriage. But, doesn’t that sound like it could be, dare I say it, romantic and fun?

***UPDATE***

You might be interested in another post I wrote on loving single momminess that caused quite a stir with some angry readers. Read it here.
After my last potential prince turned into a frog I looked at my best friend and said, “I just need a nice boyfriend.”

“I know,” she looked slightly concernted, “but it’s okay to be single for a while.” I realized…I have become way too desperate. It is okay to be single. It’s more than okay, it’s actually quite nice.

I used to love being single, used to relish in it and savour every moment knowing I could meet a new boyfriend any day and that these single moments would be lost. So in the past week it’s hit me – why do I really want a man? Do I even need one?

Sure, he could give me back rubs, sex, kisses, cuddles and hopefully make me laugh. But what else? Other than the fact that Benjamin will need a father, I can’t see any other reason to make room for a man in my life right now.

The reasons why I love being a single mom:

  • I get to parent the way I want to parent
  • I get to do whatever I want with Benjamin, whenever
  • I get to focus 100% of my attention on Benjamin
  • I am less stressed out
  • I have more time to keep my life in order: cooking, cleaning, shopping
  • I get to buy whatever I want without criticism
  • I can hang out with whoever, whenever
  • And the best part, I’m completely free and there’s always the chance that some day I will meet my Prince Charming.

Why do you love being a single mom?

Let’s focus on the positive for a moment, shall we? Being a single mom rocks. Really. We are pretty damn amazing. Every single mother I’ve ever met has been so strong, like a rock, fortified in her own solitude completely aware of the challenges and the rewards.

We don’t all have the answers. We don’t know why fate turned us down this path… but we go on, because we have to and in reality it’s not as hard as it sounds. At least we’re not married – that’s what really scares me. Do I need therapy? Maybe. Am I happy? Most of the time. Do I want to find someone eventually? Yes.

That will be another challenge and I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now I’ve got a pretty big bridge to cross. Can I cross two at once? Usually these things happen in a nice order. Love. Marriage. Baby in the baby carriage. Not baby in the baby carriage. Love and then marriage. But, doesn’t that sound like it could be, dare I say it, romantic and fun?

***UPDATE***

You might be interested in another post I wrote on loving single momminess that caused quite a stir with some angry readers. Read it here.
After my last potential prince turned into a frog I looked at my best friend and said, “I just need a nice boyfriend.”

“I know,” she looked slightly concernted, “but it’s okay to be single for a while.” I realized…I have become way too desperate. It is okay to be single. It’s more than okay, it’s actually quite nice.

I used to love being single, used to relish in it and savour every moment knowing I could meet a new boyfriend any day and that these single moments would be lost. So in the past week it’s hit me – why do I really want a man? Do I even need one?

Sure, he could give me back rubs, sex, kisses, cuddles and hopefully make me laugh. But what else? Other than the fact that Benjamin will need a father, I can’t see any other reason to make room for a man in my life right now.

The reasons why I love being a single mom:

  • I get to parent the way I want to parent
  • I get to do whatever I want with Benjamin, whenever
  • I get to focus 100% of my attention on Benjamin
  • I am less stressed out
  • I have more time to keep my life in order: cooking, cleaning, shopping
  • I get to buy whatever I want without criticism
  • I can hang out with whoever, whenever
  • And the best part, I’m completely free and there’s always the chance that some day I will meet my Prince Charming.

Why do you love being a single mom?

Let’s focus on the positive for a moment, shall we? Being a single mom rocks. Really. We are pretty damn amazing. Every single mother I’ve ever met has been so strong, like a rock, fortified in her own solitude completely aware of the challenges and the rewards.

We don’t all have the answers. We don’t know why fate turned us down this path… but we go on, because we have to and in reality it’s not as hard as it sounds. At least we’re not married – that’s what really scares me. Do I need therapy? Maybe. Am I happy? Most of the time. Do I want to find someone eventually? Yes.

That will be another challenge and I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now I’ve got a pretty big bridge to cross. Can I cross two at once? Usually these things happen in a nice order. Love. Marriage. Baby in the baby carriage. Not baby in the baby carriage. Love and then marriage. But, doesn’t that sound like it could be, dare I say it, romantic and fun?

***UPDATE***

You might be interested in another post I wrote on loving single momminess that caused quite a stir with some angry readers. Read it here.

»This website has moved to MsSingleMama.com.

Why? Because this single mom outgrew the old space – so get your but over here to see the latest from Ms. Single Mama!
My parents, on their honeymoon.
My parents, on their honeymoon.
»This website has moved to MsSingleMama.com.

My friend Dave popped over this afternoon. We were pondering why we’re both still single at the ripe, yet should be married age of 28. Then I asked the question – “do you know any happily married people? I mean truly happy.” He raised an eyebrow and said, “one.”

I’ve known more than one, actually several, but I have yet to see a couple as in love as my parents were. People used to ask me when I was a kid, “how do your parents do it? They are just so…” I would jump in here, “madly in love!” Yes, my parents were actually addicted to each other, lived for each other and were each other’s light and day. I am using the past tense because my father died of cancer 8 years ago. My mother has never been the same.

I just can’t seem to get myself away from this thought – why are people so afraid to let go, make it work – whatever the cost to their ego or pride – and love each other like my parents did? Why don’t I see happy couples frequently? Maybe they’re all just hiding because they’re so happy. I picture them in hidden mountain bungalows giving each other endless back rubs.

What I need is someone who looks at Benjamin and I like my father looked at my mother and us. He looked at us like we were the most amazing things he’d ever seen – day after day – night after night.

Have you ever seen that kind of love?

My mother and father actually met on a train. He saw her, played a few staring games and then walked right up to her seat.

“Hi,” he said. “Shut up,” she snapped back. Mom was sick of men hitting on her in public. Dad persisted and it only took her a few moments to be swept off of her feet. Here’s a pic of the happy couple after their wedding.

This is the real deal

»This website has moved to MsSingleMama.com.

Why? Because this single mom outgrew the old space – so get your but over here to see the latest from Ms. Single Mama!




Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:


Jessica Alba and Cash Warren tied the knot this weekend in a private ceremony. She’s expecting their baby girl in just a few weeks now.

I’ve written about this before … about celebrities, or just us plain old folks, who get married after happy accidents – i.e. pregnancy, or in my case, getting busted by the INS. Is the idea of being a single mom really that scary? That instead of just staying with your boyfriend, you make it official and permanent with marriage – just because you’re pregnant?

So many marriages are the result of an accidental pregnancy. Being a single parent is really not that

I can’t see inside of their relationship and I am not judging, I’m just posing a question:
I love Spring.

I love it for the obvious reasons. Spring cleaning with the windows open. Flowers blooming. New beginnings. And the icing on the cake? Topless male runners.

Should half-naked, sweating, hot as hell men be allowed to run down the sidewalks next to busy streets? I could crash. Seriously. It’s dangerous. What would happen if women did it? And guys if you think it’s different, you’re wrong. Because seeing a hot as hell guy with his shirt off is quite the treat for us ladies.

What’s wrong with me? I’m a mother for crying out loud! I can’t believe I’m even writing this.

I’m not supposed be checking guys out like this. And doing it from my car? It’s not like I could even get their numbers? I could start throwing paper airplanes at them. Or maybe bottles of water. Would that work?

Torture. Pure torture.

I could teach Benjamin to throw cookies at them. Or I could just roll down the car window and let him shout at them, “Hi! Hi! Hi!”

He does this to every one he sees. In stores, on streets, at the park and even from the car window. Doesn’t matter who you are. A hobo, a CEO, a goth dude, an old Russian lady – he’ll should “Hi!” repeatedly until you say “Hi” back. Convenient if I want to say “Hi” too.  ;  )

How do you pick up men? Do you pick up men? Guys, how do you pick us up? Secrets or tips anyone? Dish them please.
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
Single Mom blogger, Alaina, Ms. Single Mama
I’ve been a single mom for 14 months now. But, technically, it’s been 27 months if you count … my pregnancy and my son’s first 4 months. I do because my husband was useless. He was actually a negative force and made things harder rather than easier. Which, of course, is why I left him. I often tell people, “being a single mom is easier than being a mom who is married to a jerk off husband.”

Of course, I edit the word “jerk off” depending on the company I’m in. Jerk off can be replaced with asshole, dick fuck or if I’m around old people – mean.

Now, 14 months after leaving him, my life is back in order.

I have a massive credit card debt to clean up and of course, a child to raise, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve been dating. And it has been, to say the least, an incredible pain in the ass. Lots of ups, lots of downs. I’ve been asking myself – why am I so desperate to find someone?

Because it’s so hard to be alone? Yes. It is hard to be alone but I have never really liked being tied down and there’s no sense in rushing it just because I have a son. That is why I do feel rushed though – I think to myself – he’s only getting older. Soon he’s going to realize that he doesn’t have a dad. It’s just so hard. So I’m torn between the fact that in order to find someone there will be trials and errors. I just don’t want too many errors.

So what I’m discovering is that I am like a super speed dater. I date them and then eliminate them. But then I find myself getting eliminated also and that’s hard. If there are any games of cat and mouse. Any dating bull shit I get confused. Because I’m living in a very, very real world and dating bachelors who aren’t. Yes, their worlds are “real” but theirs are so far from my reality and often the two realities don’t mix. I’ve dated all kinds. The men who admit they have no idea what it could possibly be like and then there are the men who claim to know everything about raising a baby. This supreme knowledge came from caring for a friend’s baby or from watching over a niece or nephew. I think a nice in between guy would be ideal. But for anyone to say they know everything about babies when they haven’t even had their own is just completely audacious. But – they’re out there!

Last night I scooped Benjamin up out of his bed and took him into mine. I seldom do this because I want him to be a “good” all-night bed sleeper. But last night, I just couldn’t resist. I needed to cuddle with him and feel his little breaths on my face. And we both woke up feeling completely refreshed. He looked at me and smiled. A big, sunny smile and then he took his finger and stuck it right up my nose. Now, that’s what true love is really all about. How many men can really make me laugh that hard? Until I find one that can, it’s just going to be me and my little man.

Once upon a time, before I became a single mom, I got married…

wedding-dress

And then my Prince Charming turned into a frog.

After marriage counseling, much soul ringing and yet another really nasty fight I decided it would be better to raise my four month old son alone than in that environment. So I packed up my things and left my husband, my career and my friends to move in with my mother and become a single mother.

During my first year as a single mom, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me.

Then something happened.

I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

One year, many bad dates and a new apartment later I started this blog about being a single mom… everything that followed is documented here. Start at the beginning , watch my videos or catch up with a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, a 120 page eBook that includes all of the back stories and juicy secrets you won’t find on my blog.

Characters

The Love of My Life – Benjamin

About-Ben

My true Prince Charming, Benjamin is now 5 years old. And, even though being a single mom is by far the most challenging circumstance anyone can imagine – I’d never want it any other way, and he’s the reason why.

The Single Mom – Alaina, aka Ms. Single Mama

I’m a single mom but I’m also a single woman, a writer, a novice photographer and a blogger. My fans call me inspirational and refreshing while my haters call me “a disgrace to my gender” and a bunch of other things too nasty to publish. I’ll let you decide what you think, but if you’re a total jerk there’s a good chance I’ll delete your comment – because the world has enough negative energy already.

My Man – Mr. Single Dad

He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s handsome and he’s absolutely wonderful. In fact, I had accepted the fact that he may never show up and had become quite content with that fact. That’s part of the reason why, I suppose, that we found each other. Love is really only possible if you love yourself first. And then… if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who compliments you – not completes you.

It’s only fitting that he is also a single parent. See more pictures of us here. Read about how we met here. And – update – how we got married here.

—–

My eBook (for free).

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan. Details are here.

The Next Chapter: Read Beauty and the Biker

Seth and I, now happily married, blog about blending our families at BeautyandtheBiker.com. See you there!

Media & Stuff

Past media appearances/interviews include:

Questions?

Start with my Frequently Asked Questions page.

My Business

Working for other people made it hard to leave work when Benjamin was sick or to even leave right at 5:00 to pick him up from school. So I started my own business. So far, very good.

Visit Cement Marketing.com, my Web Development, Search Engine Optimization and Social Marketing firm in Columbus Ohio for my blog on social and search marketing.

—-

Really? I’ll take it.

My blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com.

Guaranteed Addictive
Single Mom blogger, Alaina, Ms. Single Mama
He holds my face in his hands and says before kissing me, “Are you feeling this?”

“Yes,” I answer, relieved. “It’s not just me, then?”

“No. It’s not just you,” he says.

“Has this ever happened to you before?” I ask.

“Nope.” He smiles into my eyes.

“Me neither.”

But we just met. This is only our second date.

How is this possible? How can we both be feeling what we’re feeling? Is this purely driven by our physical attraction to one another? Definitely not, I’ve felt that before–this is something entirely different. And I was attracted to him before I even met him. This is something I can’t describe and all of my skepticism all of my cynicism, all of my doubts that love like this exists in the world is immediately gone.

And I can say that this is worth everything preceding it, no matter what follows…

——

The first time I see him it is through the glare of my laptop screen.

I am smiling as I look at his profile pictures. My smile is almost obtrusive because I can’t make it stop. “Why are you smiling like this?” I say out loud. “Stop. Seriously, this is ridiculous. It’s just a profile.” But I can’t. I am talking to myself and smiling and struck.

There he is.

All smiles himself with lovely dark eyes that are smiling even when he is not, the outline of his dimples showing through his beard. In one picture he is holding his daughter on his lap, she one of two children he mentions in his profile.

“They’re incredible. And tiring. And funny. And totally worth all the hard work.”

I scan his stats.

He’s 6’3″, clearly gorgeous, gainfully employed in a position he loves. And then there’s his smile. And my smile. The one that is still on my face. Obtrusive and still there, five minutes later.

What is going on? This is nuts.

I had logged on that afternoon to delete my account on OkCupid.com. I had gone on one really awkward date and couldn’t bear the thought of going on anymore. It would be a waste of time. And I don’t want a man that badly. Not bad enough to do that again.

Before deleting my account I stopped, noticing a stock pile of inbound messages. Hmmmm…. who were these from? I scanned the inbox. Nah, nope, gross! And then there was his face and a message.

Evidently we’re 0% match, 41% friend, and 50% enemy. I think that’s pretty funny, because based on how you describe yourself and your “manperson”, I think we’d actually get along pretty well. So, guess I’m just saying Hi, and I’d like to talk sometime.

Keep being awesome.

We find out later we were 50% enemy because I hadn’t taken the time to properly fill out my profile. I write back immediately and after a few exchanges we have made a Saturday coffee date.

That day I can’t think about much else and after Benjamin marches off to Margaret’s house across the street, she’s my soul mate single mama neighbor, without whom I don’t know what I would do. We both trade our children back and forth all weekend, every weekend. This is one of those times and she’s happily acquired Benjamin so I can get dressed. But I can’t get dressed.

This never happens to me. Sure, I have trouble deciding on what to wear, but in this instance I am literally unable to even find something, anything to wear. The butterflies aren’t just flying around in my stomach–they are throwing punches. I end up electing to be on time rather than super cute and choose an old sweater over a t-shirt. Completely boring but at this point, this is a huge win–at least I am dressed.

On paper he is everything.

But what will he be like in person?

When I walk in, I see him on the couch. He jumps up and greets me and I can tell he’s just as nervous. He’s taller than I imagined. It’s not every day that six foot, three men are standing before you. His face is warm, sweet, kind and interesting. And in an instant I can tell that he has lived and survived through pain, real pain. The pain of divorce, the pain of raising two children through that. He is equally as strong as he is sensitive and caring. A dad, through and through. I immediately like him and feel like I’ve known him forever.

When we sit down the conversation starts and it doesn’t stop. We are talking (and laughing) for hours. I find out he has recently moved back to Ohio after four years in Texas, my favorite place on the planet. He has passions: his motorcycle, his songwriting, his children, who are five and six. And then, the coffee long gone, we take a walk from Cup o’ Joe into the Short North. We window shop, eat ice cream and when it’s time to get back to Benjamin he tells me he’d like to see me again.

And so it began…

—-

And here we are, kissing on my couch.

The butterflies are there, the lead weights are there. Everything is there and I have absolutely no reservations, no compromises, no settlements. I also have to stand corrected. On the Prince Charming stuff. While I don’t need to be rescued in any way, he definitely exists because, I have found mine.

To prevent any worries on your end, my sweet readers, because I know some of you may be thinking–that I am insane or that my body has been taken hostage by dopamine and other chemically, or hormonally induced forces… there will be no rushing the children into things. As badly as we want everyone to meet, introductions will be made slowly, very slowly. Like a month from now slowly. And even then we will be friends who have play dates once a week or bi-weekly.

We have both learned in the past that being a single parent dating requires patience and planning.

Prince Charming can kiss my ass.

I am a 29 year old, divorced single mom. I left my husband when my son was just four months old. I started this blog one year later.

During that first year, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me. Then something happened. I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

When you are a single mom, juggling a full-time job and raising a child or children – it’s hard to find time to paint your toenails, let alone go out on a date. We don’t have time for rules or drama. We also look at men differently. They could look hot in that pair of jeans but will they be a good father? Would they be a good husband?

And then there’s that whole raising a little human by yourself thing.

This isn’t easy. There aren’t any clear answers.

We can’t make it all go away but we can make it better – piece by piece, day by day. And in the meantime we can keep each other company.

Thanks for reading and please e-mail me with any questions or issues you’d like me to write about at mssinglemama@gmail.com.

Thanks to all of you – my amazing readers – my blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com. You rock. Thanks for being here.

If you’re a single mom looking for dating advice click here.

A video for the dating single moms.

»Watch more videos

»Single Mom Dating Advice

»Skip to the Best Stuff

[Photo: Morgan Siler Photography]

Prince Charming can kiss my ass.

I am a 29 year old, divorced single mom. I left my husband when my son was just four months old. I started this blog one year later.

During that first year, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me. Then something happened. I opened my eyes and realized that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

When you are a single mom, juggling a full-time job and raising a child or children – it’s hard to find time to paint your toenails, let alone go out on a date. We don’t have time for rules or drama. We also look at men differently. They could look hot in that pair of jeans but will they be a good father? Would they be a good husband?

And then there’s that whole raising a little human by yourself thing.

This isn’t easy. There aren’t any clear answers.

We can’t make it all go away but we can make it better – piece by piece, day by day. And in the meantime we can keep each other company.

Thanks for reading and please e-mail me with any questions or issues you’d like me to write about at mssinglemama@gmail.com.

Thanks to all of you – my amazing readers – my blog was listed as one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women by Blogtreprenuer.com. You rock. Thanks for being here.

If you’re a single mom looking for dating advice click here.

A video for the dating single moms.

»Watch more videos

»Single Mom Dating Advice

»Skip to the Best Stuff

[Photo: Morgan Siler Photography]

Monday night is my one free night of the week.

It’s the night Benjamin’s father comes. So, I get to go out and have a worry-free night. This week was Monday night #3 with the new man person in my life. I put on my super-hot outfit, kissed Benjamin good-bye and left. He and his father were jumping up and down in the living room jamming to the Fratellis and all was right in the world. Time for this single mom to have some fun!

My date was interesting, to say the least.

I really like this guy and we have major potential but in the past three weeks I have been over-calling him and freaking out. This is new to me. I never used to be like this. I would play by “the rules” and carry out the proper dating etiquette. But, I head out, determined to have a great date and to try and forget all of the crazy confusion I’ve been feeling.

This desperation I’m feeling comes and goes, but when I have a man in my sights I just freak out – thinking – this could be it. It could all be over. Mr. Prince Charming is finally here. I build them up in my minds, then they come crashing down and – poof – he turns into a frog. That aside…

The night develops and he basically calls me out on my nervousness. I tell him – “Every second I spend with you is time spent away from my son and my friends. I only have one or two nights out a week. So I have to know it’s heading somewhere.”

He looks at me and kisses me.

Tells me I look stunningly beautiful and my knees buckle. I’m lost, gone. So far away from mommy land. We finish up our night of bar hopping and head back to his place. I was so caught up in the moment that I left my purse down in his kitchen and didn’t hear the several missed calls from my ex. Woke up in the morning, had more amazing sex, and then dashed home. My mascara running down my eyes, my outfit still hot but wrinkled and smelling of bar smoke.

“What am I doing?” I ask myself. But, I have to do this. If I don’t do this dating thing and if I don’t have time to spend with someone how will I ever actually end up with someone? So I’m rationalizing, justifying and feeling incredibly guilty the entire way home.

I walk inside and there is my Ex, with some horrible news.

“Benjamin puked twice last night.” What!!!???? He has never puked in his little life and I wasn’t there. But, Benjamin survived the experience and so did his father. I feel like an awful mother though for not being there…but at the same time I feel refreshed and happy because I had such an amazing time last night. I don’t think I’m alone. Feeling torn goes with the territory of singlemomdom…ultimately we will have to test men out in order to find one.

UPDATE

The little fling with this particular man person ended less than one week later. Why? I told him about Benjamin puking and he didn’t even bother to ask how he was feeling. Red flag. Weak in the knees or not, I don’t want a man who doesn’t care or even pretend to care about my son.


After my last potential prince turned into a frog I looked at my best friend and said, “I just need a nice boyfriend.”

“I know,” she looked slightly concernted, “but it’s okay to be single for a while.” I realized…I have become way too desperate. It is okay to be single. It’s more than okay, it’s actually quite nice.

I used to love being single, used to relish in it and savour every moment knowing I could meet a new boyfriend any day and that these single moments would be lost. So in the past week it’s hit me – why do I really want a man? Do I even need one?

Sure, he could give me back rubs, sex, kisses, cuddles and hopefully make me laugh. But what else? Other than the fact that Benjamin will need a father, I can’t see any other reason to make room for a man in my life right now.

The reasons why I love being a single mom:

  • I get to parent the way I want to parent
  • I get to do whatever I want with Benjamin, whenever
  • I get to focus 100% of my attention on Benjamin
  • I am less stressed out
  • I have more time to keep my life in order: cooking, cleaning, shopping
  • I get to buy whatever I want without criticism
  • I can hang out with whoever, whenever
  • And the best part, I’m completely free and there’s always the chance that some day I will meet my Prince Charming.

Why do you love being a single mom?

Let’s focus on the positive for a moment, shall we? Being a single mom rocks. Really. We are pretty damn amazing. Every single mother I’ve ever met has been so strong, like a rock, fortified in her own solitude completely aware of the challenges and the rewards.

We don’t all have the answers. We don’t know why fate turned us down this path… but we go on, because we have to and in reality it’s not as hard as it sounds. At least we’re not married – that’s what really scares me. Do I need therapy? Maybe. Am I happy? Most of the time. Do I want to find someone eventually? Yes.

That will be another challenge and I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now I’ve got a pretty big bridge to cross. Can I cross two at once? Usually these things happen in a nice order. Love. Marriage. Baby in the baby carriage. Not baby in the baby carriage. Love and then marriage. But, doesn’t that sound like it could be, dare I say it, romantic and fun?

***UPDATE***

You might be interested in another post I wrote on loving single momminess that caused quite a stir with some angry readers. Read it here.
After my last potential prince turned into a frog I looked at my best friend and said, “I just need a nice boyfriend.”

“I know,” she looked slightly concernted, “but it’s okay to be single for a while.” I realized…I have become way too desperate. It is okay to be single. It’s more than okay, it’s actually quite nice.

I used to love being single, used to relish in it and savour every moment knowing I could meet a new boyfriend any day and that these single moments would be lost. So in the past week it’s hit me – why do I really want a man? Do I even need one?

Sure, he could give me back rubs, sex, kisses, cuddles and hopefully make me laugh. But what else? Other than the fact that Benjamin will need a father, I can’t see any other reason to make room for a man in my life right now.

The reasons why I love being a single mom:

  • I get to parent the way I want to parent
  • I get to do whatever I want with Benjamin, whenever
  • I get to focus 100% of my attention on Benjamin
  • I am less stressed out
  • I have more time to keep my life in order: cooking, cleaning, shopping
  • I get to buy whatever I want without criticism
  • I can hang out with whoever, whenever
  • And the best part, I’m completely free and there’s always the chance that some day I will meet my Prince Charming.

Why do you love being a single mom?

Let’s focus on the positive for a moment, shall we? Being a single mom rocks. Really. We are pretty damn amazing. Every single mother I’ve ever met has been so strong, like a rock, fortified in her own solitude completely aware of the challenges and the rewards.

We don’t all have the answers. We don’t know why fate turned us down this path… but we go on, because we have to and in reality it’s not as hard as it sounds. At least we’re not married – that’s what really scares me. Do I need therapy? Maybe. Am I happy? Most of the time. Do I want to find someone eventually? Yes.

That will be another challenge and I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now I’ve got a pretty big bridge to cross. Can I cross two at once? Usually these things happen in a nice order. Love. Marriage. Baby in the baby carriage. Not baby in the baby carriage. Love and then marriage. But, doesn’t that sound like it could be, dare I say it, romantic and fun?

***UPDATE***

You might be interested in another post I wrote on loving single momminess that caused quite a stir with some angry readers. Read it here.
After my last potential prince turned into a frog I looked at my best friend and said, “I just need a nice boyfriend.”

“I know,” she looked slightly concernted, “but it’s okay to be single for a while.” I realized…I have become way too desperate. It is okay to be single. It’s more than okay, it’s actually quite nice.

I used to love being single, used to relish in it and savour every moment knowing I could meet a new boyfriend any day and that these single moments would be lost. So in the past week it’s hit me – why do I really want a man? Do I even need one?

Sure, he could give me back rubs, sex, kisses, cuddles and hopefully make me laugh. But what else? Other than the fact that Benjamin will need a father, I can’t see any other reason to make room for a man in my life right now.

The reasons why I love being a single mom:

  • I get to parent the way I want to parent
  • I get to do whatever I want with Benjamin, whenever
  • I get to focus 100% of my attention on Benjamin
  • I am less stressed out
  • I have more time to keep my life in order: cooking, cleaning, shopping
  • I get to buy whatever I want without criticism
  • I can hang out with whoever, whenever
  • And the best part, I’m completely free and there’s always the chance that some day I will meet my Prince Charming.

Why do you love being a single mom?

Let’s focus on the positive for a moment, shall we? Being a single mom rocks. Really. We are pretty damn amazing. Every single mother I’ve ever met has been so strong, like a rock, fortified in her own solitude completely aware of the challenges and the rewards.

We don’t all have the answers. We don’t know why fate turned us down this path… but we go on, because we have to and in reality it’s not as hard as it sounds. At least we’re not married – that’s what really scares me. Do I need therapy? Maybe. Am I happy? Most of the time. Do I want to find someone eventually? Yes.

That will be another challenge and I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now I’ve got a pretty big bridge to cross. Can I cross two at once? Usually these things happen in a nice order. Love. Marriage. Baby in the baby carriage. Not baby in the baby carriage. Love and then marriage. But, doesn’t that sound like it could be, dare I say it, romantic and fun?

***UPDATE***

You might be interested in another post I wrote on loving single momminess that caused quite a stir with some angry readers. Read it here.

»This website has moved to MsSingleMama.com.

Why? Because this single mom outgrew the old space – so get your but over here to see the latest from Ms. Single Mama!
My parents, on their honeymoon.
My parents, on their honeymoon.
»This website has moved to MsSingleMama.com.

My friend Dave popped over this afternoon. We were pondering why we’re both still single at the ripe, yet should be married age of 28. Then I asked the question – “do you know any happily married people? I mean truly happy.” He raised an eyebrow and said, “one.”

I’ve known more than one, actually several, but I have yet to see a couple as in love as my parents were. People used to ask me when I was a kid, “how do your parents do it? They are just so…” I would jump in here, “madly in love!” Yes, my parents were actually addicted to each other, lived for each other and were each other’s light and day. I am using the past tense because my father died of cancer 8 years ago. My mother has never been the same.

I just can’t seem to get myself away from this thought – why are people so afraid to let go, make it work – whatever the cost to their ego or pride – and love each other like my parents did? Why don’t I see happy couples frequently? Maybe they’re all just hiding because they’re so happy. I picture them in hidden mountain bungalows giving each other endless back rubs.

What I need is someone who looks at Benjamin and I like my father looked at my mother and us. He looked at us like we were the most amazing things he’d ever seen – day after day – night after night.

Have you ever seen that kind of love?

My mother and father actually met on a train. He saw her, played a few staring games and then walked right up to her seat.

“Hi,” he said. “Shut up,” she snapped back. Mom was sick of men hitting on her in public. Dad persisted and it only took her a few moments to be swept off of her feet. Here’s a pic of the happy couple after their wedding.

This is the real deal

»This website has moved to MsSingleMama.com.

Why? Because this single mom outgrew the old space – so get your but over here to see the latest from Ms. Single Mama!
eharmony.jpgLet me preface this by saying, I went into this online dating thing with total enthusiasm and a very open mind. After all, I’ve heard that friends of friends have actually gotten engaged after meeting online. And with very little free time on my hands – why not try it out?

I started out as a voyeur.

I would scope out the men on Match.com. They all looked like loser players, so I moved on to eHarmony. Those commercials are just so enticing. Could those people be real? They have to be, right? So I sign up.

I take the super personality tests of all personality tests and then wait as my matches come in. Some are 47, some are 37, some are fishermen living in Alaska, others are construction workers in my own back yard. Not that I have anything against fishermen or construction workers or older men. But I’m looking for a young professional, college educated, like-minded individual, not someone who I clearly would have nothing in common with.

I check my match settings. They’re set at preferences the system is clearly ignoring.

There are a few interesting men who do pop into my inbox…so I e-mail them. I wait, days, weeks and never hear a word. Then I realize – these men probably signed up for free and then jumped the boat. Or, even worse, they were probably paying members years ago. The thing about eHarmony is that you actually have to turn your matching off when you cancel your membership, otherwise they keep you in the system. It’s why they can boast so many “active” members and keep sending you dozens and dozens of useless new matches each day.

I actually e-mailed eHarmony telling them I thought their matching system was crap. They wrote me a long winded e-mail back telling me I needed to expand my matching preferences. They refused to give me a refund of my $110 membership fee. So, I stayed on, after all I had paid for three months – why not use it?

Recently I found a match that peaked my interest. A single dad, college educated, cute and his profile description was intriguing. We meet for a lunch date. A nice, safe lunch date. This after talking on the phone several times. He shows up, I stand up, and I’m towering above him.

“Oh, damn,” I think. “Why in the hell did I wear these heels?”

He was very, very sweet and it was a nice lunch – but there wasn’t an ounce of chemistry. Our personalities couldn’t have been more incompatible. So much for the eHarmony matching “system.” I’ll keep you posted if I do find compatible matches, but so far it has been a joke.

I will say – if you are going to try online dating – go with a site where you can search profiles yourself. And there is no personality matching system that can beat your own gut instinct.

If you are new to eHarmony you must read this post on the eHarmony Blog (yes, there’s a blog on eHarmony. It’s fantastic. Consider it the eHarmony bible. Go now by clicking here.)

****UPDATE****

Check out PlentyofFish.com, it’s quickly becoming the most popular online dating web site out there because – it’s FREE. I haven’t tried it myself (no need as I’m now in a fantastic relationship – fyi – I met him in a bar, the good old fashioned way).

Another great place to scope out all of the single men or women who have profiles posted in your area is Oodle.com. Go to personals and search by zip code, the site lists all of the people with profiles in your area. Pretty spiffy.

And then there’s always MySpace – also free. Most of my twenty-something friends meet their men here…send them a friendly message or two and then exchange numbers.

My friend have also had a lot of luck on Yahoo Personals…cheaper than Match and easier to use.

»This website has moved to MsSingleMama.com.

Why? Because this single mom outgrew the old space – so get your but over here to see the latest from Ms. Single Mama!

{ 4 trackbacks }

E-Harmony Really Does Suck: Worst web site of the year by Time Magazine « Ms. Single Mama
December 10, 2007 at 10:01 pm
Try SingleParentLoveLife.com for Free. « Ms. Single Mama
January 15, 2008 at 1:39 am
Why online dating gets a bad name… « Ms. Single Mama
April 28, 2008 at 8:11 pm
E-Harmony’s Matches are Dead Wrong | Ms. Single Mama
August 14, 2008 at 6:32 pm

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

mssinglemama March 1, 2008 at 4:07 am

Thanks Dads House! I’ll check yours out too!

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Level_Headed August 5, 2008 at 4:20 pm

Before recommending PlentyofFIsh, I’d HIGHLY recommend you try it first (to keep your reputation in tact).

FREE=nothing but a cesspool of individuals who CAN’T afford any other means of online dating.

If dating Middle Aged, Less Affluent, No College Education is your choice of date,
http://www.quantcast.com/plentyoffish.com/demographics
by all means have at it, however NOTHING has come close in the “utter disappointment” I’ve experienced with PlentyofFish. (thank God, I never wasted dime on the site or in person dates).

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dating guide May 15, 2009 at 1:42 pm

I would have to agree with you, welfare dating is becoming popular but that doesnt mean its successful for the daters other then the dating site in most of the cases.

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passingobserver August 9, 2009 at 11:07 am

I find it strange that someone would complain that they “towered over their date”. Didn’t you check out their height BEFORE you went on the date? If height was an issue, why did you agree to date a shorter man anyway?

Which brings me to another point. Many women complain that there are “no good men out there” but the fact of the matter is there are good men out there that are ruled out without a second look simply on demographics and statistics they can do nothing about, like height. Yeah, I know that’s life. You can’t help how short you are. But it is a fact that women say 5’8 and taller are reluctant to consider shorter men. So while they complain about “lack of good men” the bottom line is that it is their own preferences creating some of the “shortages”. Let’s be candid.. we all do it..

E-Harmony i what it is. I agree that their matching system sucks. WHy invest all that time in a long questionaire when you will get such crappy matches? That’s why I don’t use e-harmony.

ANd finally the reality of the dating scene is that there are plenty of people out there competing. If you think you are hot stuff, you will soon find you are not so hot besides 100 other profiles that basically look like yours. I agree with the author. Don’t rely on any matching system. Use a service where you yourself can build your own matches in detail, and would add- stop looking for perfection with these long shopping lists, and unrealistic fantasy pictures of what he or she “should” look like, earn, etc.. etc.

It’s not going to work for a long term thing and often not even short-term. Remember there are hundreds just like you out there. Your best bet is to start without too many expectations and unrealistic fantasies, and perfectionist shopping lists. Be flexible and realistic. Have just a few core, “bottom line” things you are looking for, not long shopping lists.. Yeah, I know we’ve heard it all before but…

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Hmm September 24, 2009 at 3:37 pm

I agree with passing observer about the whole height thing. I am a woman, and it sort of appals me when I see other women write off perfectly good short men. I’m 5’8″; my last boyfriend was far shorter than I was, and I had so many friends (and even my mom) say that they couldn’t believe I went for such a short guy. Who cares? Height is the last thing one should be picky about. It’s something a person absolutely can’t control–unlike weight or general health or general upkeep. THAT’S the one thing that drives me crazy about men my age (late 20s early 30s)–they really let themselves go in terms of weight and appearance …. which would be fine if they didn’t expect physical perfection from women.

Totally agree about eHarmony tho–it is quite possibly the most insulting, paternalistic, anti-woman, sexist dating site I’ve ever joined, and I’ve even been a member of religious sites. But Eharmony really thinks it knows best about men and women. For one thing, I’ve never been matched with someone more than a year or so younger than I am, but I’ve been matched with guys who are 13 or 14 years older. Why? Because eHarmony has decided that older men and younger women are “more compatible.” So, say I’m 29–I apparently have more “combatibility” with a 43-year-old than I do a 27-year-old. Right.

eHarmony, as others have said, also doesn’t take into consideration vastly different education levels. I have a PhD … I’ve been matched with paramedics, HVAC repairmen, truck drivers, home health aides, etc. I have nothing against people who do such professions, but come on–I thought the goal here was to be “compatible.” I know few successful couples who have such vast differences in education and profession–why didn’t eHarmony uncover that little secret while doing all their research?

eHarmony also doesn’t allow you to specify or figure out whether or not your match has been married before or has children. You can only specify whether or not you want someone who has children under the age of 18 living in their home. Again–good for men, bad for women. Most of the time women are the primary caretakers of young children, so they get the shaft, while men who technically don’t have any kids “living in their home” are free to be matched with whomever.

And then there are the creepy questions and “must haves/can’t stands” about sex. If eHarmony’s question-and-answer sessions are supposed to simulate a real first date, they couldn’t be more clumsy and awkward. How many first dates have you been on where the guy said, “So how do you feel about premarital sex?” or “By the way, I MUST HAVE someone who enjoys having sex on a regular basis.” WTF. If the purpose is to weed out the creeps, I suppose it works.

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- December 17, 2011 at 8:04 pm

Aol! i’m keen it all!

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Fooled Guy March 20, 2012 at 12:44 am

eHarmony sucks ass. I don’t like Average thur Obese women. I’m healthy, I want the same from my mate.

The whole “dimensions” of compatibility is code for fat chicks wanting love. “We don’t discriminate by body type” is the reply I got.

Match has serial daters and semi-prostitutes. Meet people in the real world and have some freaking values.

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Jeremy March 14, 2013 at 1:47 am

Dating is hard no matter where you meet people. There are a lot of nut cases online as well as in bars. If you are going to use a dating site ask your prospective date enough questions that you can use one of the free background checks. You wont get much from a free search but enough that you can do a google search and see if there is anything negative on the web.

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Bentayan February 3, 2015 at 9:53 am

Hey Gina, thanks so much for the thhufotgul response. I am so happy for you by the way. I know when i read yours and Bri’s story it seemed pretty instant in terms of the connection of obvious chemistry. I sometimes have a hard time letting chemistry free but also distinguishing between superficial physical chemistry and chemistry that is more deeply rooted. Agreed that age alone didn’t kill mr. energy and i or in other words, that i should avoid all younger dudes based on this experience. Im still torn on the lifestyle front. I dont want it to matter and it may not matter much for everyone but i do think it matters to a degree. especially life philosophy. can’t wait to catch up on your blog when i get back!

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