by mssinglemama on October 29, 2007
Was just inspired by Clark, and and entry on his Single Dad blog to post a hilarious personal I once saw on Craigslist. It was so funny I actually e-mailed it to my sister.
Here goes:
“I stopped smoking July 1st, 2007.
I enjoy procrastinating.
I drink far less alcohol then the average person.
I don’t care for sports or animals.
I believe it’s okay to spit.
I hate studying.
I use only paper plates, disposable cups, and plasticware.
I prefer to cut my own hair.
I sleep 10-12 hrs a night.
I go to bed after midnight.
I haven’t seen my parents in ten years.
I’m very organized and neat.
I rearrange my money so that all the Presidents face the same way.
I reconsider things indefinitely before making a decision.
I like Oriental Noodle Soups.
I hate Rap/R&B.
I hate Marijuana.
I’d like to meet someone that lives close to me or has transportation. If you have personality issues please leave me alone.”
Isn’t that priceless?
by mssinglemama on October 26, 2007
The adventure continues.
My single mama friend has already been on date #1 from Yahoo Personals. The man in question had so many things in common with her. They both love reading, writing, the same bar scene, etc. She followed my advice, met for coffee, and had a wonderful time. But there was no spark. Alas, just like old-fashioned blind dates the odds of catching a spark are tough. Her first question - so how do I tell him? The answer:
How to Break Up, Virtually (with an e-mail, of course).
Dear Mr. Online Dater
I had so much fun chatting with you over coffee, but I just didn’t feel that spark I was looking for. You are such an amazing person and I really hope you find your special someone. Thanks again and good luck!
Sincerely, Ms Single Mama
by mssinglemama on October 26, 2007
It’s been over a year and a half now of pure singleness and in that time I’ve been dating.
Trying all of my options, refusing to shut any doors based on age, looks or personality quirks. I’ve dated men of all ages..26, 31, 33, 37, 38 and even 47! I’m 28.
The 47 year old was an incredibly interesting single father but there was no spark.The 37 year old calls himself a monk and can’t actually be with women physically. The 31 year old had an addiction to porn. The 26 year old wouldn’t or couldn’t stop talking about himself. The list goes on and on…
I have found that no matter what the age - they all have issues. But, as they age, these “issues” become even more solidified and the chances of changing or maybe correcting them are slim to none. If they’ ve been single for most of their adult life - what are the odds they’re finally going to take the plunge and “settle down.” [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on October 19, 2007
A new study suggests men die before women because they are natural polygamists. Meaning, that during cave man days, polygamy was the norm - not monogamy. All of the competition for women and lots and lots of sex wore those poor guys out and they still die earlier because of it.
Read the article here.
»This website has moved to MsSingleMama.com.
Why? Because this single mom outgrew the old space - so get your but over here to see the latest from Ms. Single Mama!
by mssinglemama on October 16, 2007
My fellow single mama friend just broke up with her boyfriend.
Trying to distract herself from the drama of yet another failed relationship - she jumped online. Online to the land of hope…where single men await by the hundreds. I talked to her last night as she checked out profile after profile - “Oh, he’s super cute. Oh! Here’s another one! Oh my god, he just chatted me.” This morning, gave her another call, “hello???” She sounds exhausted.
“I’ve been up all night online…20 guys have e-mailed me already!” And many of them sound very promising. Her site of choice - Yahoo Personals. So… we’ll live vicariously through her for a few weeks and I’ll keep you posted. But, if she’s had that many potential matches already - that’s a damn good sign. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on October 15, 2007
Let me preface this by saying, I went into this online dating thing with total enthusiasm and a very open mind. After all, I’ve heard that friends of friends have actually gotten engaged after meeting online. And with very little free time on my hands - why not try it out?
I started out as a voyeur.
I would scope out the men on Match.com. They all looked like loser players, so I moved on to eHarmony. Those commercials are just so enticing. Could those people be real? They have to be, right? So I sign up.
I take the super personality tests of all personality tests and then wait as my matches come in. Some are 47, some are 37, some are fishermen living in Alaska, others are construction workers in my own back yard. Not that I have anything against fishermen or construction workers or older men. But I’m looking for a young professional, college educated, like-minded individual, not someone who I clearly would have nothing in common with.
I check my match settings. They’re set at preferences the system is clearly ignoring.
[click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on October 15, 2007
»This website has moved to MsSingleMama.com.
My friend Dave popped over this afternoon. We were pondering why we’re both still single at the ripe, yet should be married age of 28. Then I asked the question - “do you know any happily married people? I mean truly happy.” He raised an eyebrow and said, “one.”
I’ve known more than one, actually several, but I have yet to see a couple as in love as my parents were. People used to ask me when I was a kid, “how do your parents do it? They are just so…” I would jump in here, “madly in love!” Yes, my parents were actually addicted to each other, lived for each other and were each other’s light and day. I am using the past tense because my father died of cancer 8 years ago. My mother has never been the same.
I just can’t seem to get myself away from this thought - why are people so afraid to let go, make it work - whatever the cost to their ego or pride - and love each other like my parents did? Why don’t I see happy couples frequently? Maybe they’re all just hiding because they’re so happy. I picture them in hidden mountain bungalows giving each other endless back rubs.
What I need is someone who looks at Benjamin and I like my father looked at my mother and us. He looked at us like we were the most amazing things he’d ever seen - day after day - night after night.
Have you ever seen that kind of love?
My mother and father actually met on a train. He saw her, played a few staring games and then walked right up to her seat.
“Hi,” he said. “Shut up,” she snapped back. Mom was sick of men hitting on her in public. Dad persisted and it only took her a few moments to be swept off of her feet. Here’s a pic of the happy couple after their wedding.
»This website has moved to MsSingleMama.com.
Why? Because this single mom outgrew the old space - so get your but over here to see the latest from Ms. Single Mama!
by mssinglemama on October 12, 2007
After my last potential prince turned into a frog I looked at my best friend and said, “I just need a nice boyfriend.”
“I know,” she looked slightly concernted, “but it’s okay to be single for a while.” I realized…I have become way too desperate. It is okay to be single. It’s more than okay, it’s actually quite nice.
I used to love being single, used to relish in it and savour every moment knowing I could meet a new boyfriend any day and that these single moments would be lost. So in the past week it’s hit me - why do I really want a man? Do I even need one?
Sure, he could give me back rubs, sex, kisses, cuddles and hopefully make me laugh. But what else? Other than the fact that Benjamin will need a father, I can’t see any other reason to make room for a man in my life right now.
The reasons why I love being a single mom:
- I get to parent the way I want to parent
- I get to do whatever I want with Benjamin, whenever
- I get to focus 100% of my attention on Benjamin
- I am less stressed out
- I have more time to keep my life in order: cooking, cleaning, shopping
- I get to buy whatever I want without criticism
- I can hang out with whoever, whenever
- And the best part, I’m completely free and there’s always the chance that some day I will meet my Prince Charming.
Why do you love being a single mom?
Let’s focus on the positive for a moment, shall we? Being a single mom rocks. Really. We are pretty damn amazing. Every single mother I’ve ever met has been so strong, like a rock, fortified in her own solitude completely aware of the challenges and the rewards.
We don’t all have the answers. We don’t know why fate turned us down this path… but we go on, because we have to and in reality it’s not as hard as it sounds. At least we’re not married - that’s what really scares me. Do I need therapy? Maybe. Am I happy? Most of the time. Do I want to find someone eventually? Yes.
That will be another challenge and I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now I’ve got a pretty big bridge to cross. Can I cross two at once? Usually these things happen in a nice order. Love. Marriage. Baby in the baby carriage. Not baby in the baby carriage. Love and then marriage. But, doesn’t that sound like it could be, dare I say it, romantic and fun?
***UPDATE***
You might be interested in another post I wrote on loving single momminess that caused quite a stir with some angry readers. Read it here.
by mssinglemama on October 12, 2007
Monday night is my one free night of the week.
It’s the night Benjamin’s father comes. So, I get to go out and have a worry-free night. This week was Monday night #3 with the new man person in my life. I put on my super-hot outfit, kissed Benjamin good-bye and left. He and his father were jumping up and down in the living room jamming to the Fratellis and all was right in the world. Time for this single mom to have some fun!
My date was interesting, to say the least.
I really like this guy and we have major potential but in the past three weeks I have been over-calling him and freaking out. This is new to me. I never used to be like this. I would play by “the rules” and carry out the proper dating etiquette. But, I head out, determined to have a great date and to try and forget all of the crazy confusion I’ve been feeling.
This desperation I’m feeling comes and goes, but when I have a man in my sights I just freak out - thinking - this could be it. It could all be over. Mr. Prince Charming is finally here. I build them up in my minds, then they come crashing down and - poof - he turns into a frog. That aside…
The night develops and he basically calls me out on my nervousness. I tell him - “Every second I spend with you is time spent away from my son and my friends. I only have one or two nights out a week. So I have to know it’s heading somewhere.”
He looks at me and kisses me.
Tells me I look stunningly beautiful and my knees buckle. I’m lost, gone. So far away from mommy land. We finish up our night of bar hopping and head back to his place. I was so caught up in the moment that I left my purse down in his kitchen and didn’t hear the several missed calls from my ex. Woke up in the morning, had more amazing sex, and then dashed home. My mascara running down my eyes, my outfit still hot but wrinkled and smelling of bar smoke.
“What am I doing?” I ask myself. But, I have to do this. If I don’t do this dating thing and if I don’t have time to spend with someone how will I ever actually end up with someone? So I’m rationalizing, justifying and feeling incredibly guilty the entire way home.
I walk inside and there is my Ex, with some horrible news.
“Benjamin puked twice last night.” What!!!???? He has never puked in his little life and I wasn’t there. But, Benjamin survived the experience and so did his father. I feel like an awful mother though for not being there…but at the same time I feel refreshed and happy because I had such an amazing time last night. I don’t think I’m alone. Feeling torn goes with the territory of singlemomdom…ultimately we will have to test men out in order to find one.
UPDATE
The little fling with this particular man person ended less than one week later. Why? I told him about Benjamin puking and he didn’t even bother to ask how he was feeling. Red flag. Weak in the knees or not, I don’t want a man who doesn’t care or even pretend to care about my son.
