by mssinglemama on March 16, 2010
In the last few days, I have received hundreds and hundreds of e-mails, comments, tweets, Facebook notes. All of you sending me off with the kindest words and thoughts…
Reading your stories, how far you have come or how you are just beginning in your journeys – whatever they may be – has left me a bit speechless. What do I say? What words can I offer up that at all let you know how I feel about each and every one of you? There aren’t any.
But there are your words…
I decided to publish this letter in particular because I think it captures, in so many ways, the reason why I blogged for all of these years. We are all really, truly on an path that is intertwined. You know that, right? This letter makes the case. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on March 14, 2010
In October of 2007, when I started writing this blog, I was the new single mom of a 19-month-old. My goal was to help other single moms find their way as I found my own.
At first there were only a few of you reading, then a few hundred and then a few thousand. Now there are over 15,000 of you who pop into my corner of the world for updates on my life, on Benjamin, on my relationship with John. And out of all of the thousands, only a handful surface to leave stomach-churning comments that give me chills. Others go so far as to write vicious blog posts. And even others are harassing me behind the scenes with repeated comments that leave me worrying about my and Benjamin’s safety.
To those who actually have time in their day to spew needless negativity into the world, targeted at us – Who are you? Where do you come from? Who raised you to treat others this way? I may be a single mother and you may hate everything I represent – but my son and I will never stoop to your level. Ever.
I have also outgrown this blog. I have my answers. My journey as a single mom feels complete. Not because I have found John, but because I have found myself. And then there’s Benjamin. The idea of him reading some of the words written about me here or elsewhere is beyond terrifying. I can’t let that happen, no matter how much I love this blog, no matter how much I love all of you. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on March 12, 2010
Introducing Him to the Kids
I know it’s been a while since I’ve offered up a around of single mom dating tips, but here is a fresh batch. The subject? Introducing or not introducing men to your children.
First, a few real-life single mom dating experiences. In both cases, each single mom did what she felt was right at the time. We can’t hold them responsible or judge them for their actions. We are all learning as we go… dating as a single mom is by far the hardest and most misunderstood experience mothers can have. But we can learn from each other.
Single Mom Dating Scenario 1
She bides her time, listens to her ultra-protectionist mama gut and waits 9 months to introduce the man she’s dating to her toddler. She introduces him only after she’s certain they’ll be together forever and have fallen completely and totally in love. Did her patience pay off?
At first, yes. Everything is going so well that they all move in together three months after the introductions. Four weeks later her boyfriend, likely caving under the stress of what I’ll call Sudden Toddler Exposure, jets. He leaves. Completely and totally leaves and she hasn’t heard from him since.
Single Mom Dating Scenario 2
She doesn’t wait. Knowing instantly that he is the one. She brings the man into their lives, introduces him to her 6-year-old and then – because he lives out of town – allows him to practically (but not really) move in. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on March 10, 2010
Designed by none other than John Bear, the tireless 80’s toy and movie pusher, Benjamin’s birthday invitation garnered such a strong reaction from everyone who found it in their inbox that I had to share.
When Benjamin saw it he jumped up and down, and then after a few more viewings proceeded to tell me the play by play of how he ended up in the snow fighting Empire-bots with his “life saver.”
The invitation is building hype for the party among Benjamin’s four year old buddies. Rumor has it they’ve been printing copies out and carrying them around, pestering their mothers for more details and advance tickets. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on March 6, 2010
All three of us fell in love with a puppy for about a minute today.
Okay, maybe it was longer than a minute.
Maybe about twenty.
It happened entirely by accident. John had been entertaining Benjamin in Petland so I could shop for birthday party favors at a store next door.
Like Murphy, she’s a pure-bred Wheaton Terrier. And as my Twitter friends were quick to point out, probably came from a puppy mill.
But. She is still a puppy.
And when I held her she cuddled right up into my chest.
Can’t even believe this little brown fuzz ball is going to turn into a white Wheaton Terrier, like Murph.
And I can’t even believe I have gone from being sublimely indifferent to the love and emotions dogs bring to completely head over heels. I blame this guy.
Such a sucker. But I am resisting. For now. If she’s still there in three weeks, outgrowing that miserable cage – I may have to rescue her. I don’t care where she came from.
We bonded.
I am delusional right now. Daydreaming of having a household with two Wheaton Terriers, one man, and one four year old.
But, hey, we could all go to puppy mill protests together. Right? Cuddling all the way.
