Single Mom Dating, Life and Love Blog

Losing you has been quite the gain…

by mssinglemama on May 23, 2012

So, a few weeks ago we had a house guest…

Courtney Patton, one of Seth’s many Twitter connections. From Texas and in town for a convention, all the way up North, here in Ohio, she came to our door with an armful of sunflowers and wine. But we skipped the wine and went straight for the tequila.

I fell in love with her instantly and then, as she and Seth pulled out their guitars, fell in love with this song – the best break up song, ever, ever, ever and ever. Courtney is also a single mother and this song is absolutely amazing.

It’s so new it doesn’t have a name. Can you suggest a few names? Courtney is reading.

Find her elsewhere on all of her virtual spaces:

Courtney’s Website
On Facebook
On Twitter
And on Kickstarter, where she’s raising $ to record an album. You can fund her dream a bit. You can pay as little as $1.00. If you donate $10.00 you get a free download of the album when it comes out. And… you can help one single mama achieve her dream. As I write, Courtney has raised $8,173 and is less than $2,000 away from her goal of $10,000. If she doesn’t meet her goal, you get your money back. How awesome is that?

P.S.

If you want to hear one of Seth’s songs, click here. Also amazing. What a fun night that was… us single parents know how to appreciate it all. What we have. Not worry about what we’ve lost. That’s when you cross over into the light and find peace again.

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My view.

by mssinglemama on May 16, 2012

I am the luckiest girl alive for so many reasons.

There were days I thought I would never, ever crawl out of my cave of uncertainty (if you need to catch up, become a Facebook fan and have a free eBook of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored). And now, although still uncertain about so many things, I am certain about the most important of them all:

1) My family. My husband. The children. My loves. All will be well, even in the moments of frustration, this is obvious.
2) My work. My team. The big ideas. And most of all, our awesome clients.
3) The office. The cherry on the sundae. The Cement Marketing space is real, with materials hand picked by Mom (the designer at heart). Some are old, some are new. All tell a story. We would rather be comfortable than all else… we don’t have a tolerance for frivolous things.

I can credit it to timing and hours upon hours of hard work, but as far as this view is concerned–this view took about two minutes after I realized all I had to do was turn my desk around.

How do I have my own business? Well, I’m partially nuts. There’s that. And I love what I do. It all started three years ago this week when I gave notice at my day job. Remember that?

P.S.

The Cement Marketing office is currently being featured on The Metropreneur. Read about the space and see more pictures.

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Happy Single Mother’s Day.

by mssinglemama on May 13, 2012

A video love note to all of you… my sisters in arms, my single mothers, my modern day super women – you are truly remarkable, don’t forget that.

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The Honeymooners

by mssinglemama on May 2, 2012

“What do people without children do on the weekends?” Seth asks. His legs are extending over the ottoman.

“I have no idea.”

It’s been one week since our spontaneous back yard wedding and we still have the honeymoon glow. We’re both so happy, in spite of a few external forces that have presented themselves–a change in the team at Cement, a shift in employment for Seth. But now here we are with an entire weekend free from the kids, from work, from any obligations whatsoever.

And here’s what we did. Rather than going out to breakfast at Skillet or North Star (our two favorite spots), we chose to stay in and make some of our own. I made this hash with potatoes (boil them for 10 minutes first), bacon, sausage, canned fire roasted red peppers from Trader Joe’s, onions and garlic,.

We were both in absolute heaven.

And believe me, it tasted even better than it looks.

Yum. Then, after breakfast, we relaxed. It was a rainy day and we decided to spend most of it watching Mad Men and drinking whiskey. Saturday night we spent with friends and ended up back in our living room writing songs until the early morning hours. On Sunday, the weather was perfect. So, I set to gardening – a massive job, as evidenced by my wedding pictures – and Seth went to work in the garage, where he has set up a leather workshop.

He came home one day with a raw cow hide and a bunch of tools and said, “this is for a bag.” And now, it’s starting to take shape and am in awe watching it unfold. [click to continue…]

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When we aren’t getting married…

by mssinglemama on April 24, 2012

So, tonight at dinner the kids actually suggested we have “another wedding.” They all thought it was hysterical. “Let’s do it again!” But as Lily quickly pointed out that would be “impossible, clearly.”

When we aren’t getting married in our back yard, we are busy occupying all three of the little Gremlins. It’s hard. I’m not going to lie. Three children, ages 5, 6 and 7. On some days I just want to hide in the closet. But on other days (most of them) I just soak it all in and let it ride, enjoying the moments we have together. Some day, these days will be a distant memory, and I’m sure I’ll want them back.

In spite of being outnumbered, Seth and I manage it all quite well (I think). We help each other, tagging each other in and out when the other is about to lose it. We also have our set routines and take turns on chores. For both of us, former single parents, this is cake.

“So, this is what it’s like,” we often say to each other, “to have a partner.”

A few weekends ago we partnered up to take the kids to the Arena District for a little adventure (survival tactic). The pictures and details are in a post here.

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Just married!

by mssinglemama on April 19, 2012

And in which, our little cupids plan the entire thing.

This Saturday, between soccer games and a birthday party for the boys, the kids asked us the same question they ask us every day, “When are you guys going to get married?”

Seth, Lily and Cohen moved in one month ago. It felt right. It is right. And there’s no question that this is where all five us are supposed to be–with each other.

“September,” Seth and I answered.

We had it all planned out. A Court House wedding, then a ride on Seth’s bike to Athens for a party at Jackie O’s or Smiling Skull. Jackie O’s for the fresh, brewed beer and Smiling Skull its perfect imperfections.

“Why do we have to wait that long?” One of them asked quietly. I turn my head and look into the back seat where I see three pairs of eyes staring at me quizzically. They don’t understand and why should they? Us adults make no sense most of the time. We love each other, we want to be married – so why aren’t we? The children had all, in their own ways, expressed fears that Seth and I would break up. Like he and their mother did. Like John and I did. Children, as it turns out, have baggage, too. So, to rid them of their baggage, I proposed an idea. [click to continue…]

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The three types of love.

by mssinglemama on April 16, 2012

This is a must watch.

Helen Fisher’s TED talk will enlighten you on a few things including why we can feel love for two men at once. And, you must stick around until the end for her opinion on anti-depressants.

I really, really, really want to hear your opinion on this. Please leave them in the comments.

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Where did my baby go?

by mssinglemama on April 10, 2012

Look at him.

Can you believe how big he is? In his too short pants. Had to buy him new pants yesterday. He’s outgrown every single pair. I read a saying from another mom once that went something like this, “The days are slow, but the years are fast.”

And he is playing Angry Birds. Hence the angry face.

Also, Benjamin was labeled a “high energy” kid by his teachers in Kindergarten. After several consultations with the pros we found out that he does not have ADD, he has an intense sensitivity to sugar. I took all of the sugar out of his diet and – poof – the kid is a changed man. He still has his moments, but his teacher is astounded at the difference. We didn’t have a heavy sugar diet at all beforehand, but if you read labels on everything you’ll see there is sugar in so much of what we eat. It’s been over a month now and he’s totally on board. He doesn’t beg and throw fits for sugar. He just knows he feels better without it.

The book that led us to this revelation is here.

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A gift for you.

by mssinglemama on March 27, 2012

Years ago I poured my heart into an eBook meant to accompany this blog and to be the perfect primer for any new single moms starting to date. The result, Ms. Single Mama Uncensored, is over 100 pages of juicy post-divorce dating goodness. All of the secrets I could never publish here are there, in grueling play-by-play detail.

I spent two months straight writing it, but could have spent another two years. I discovered that there were stories within stories. And so many thoughts and ideas about dating as a single mom that I wanted to share. There is so much more to it than any one can imagine, isn’t there?

The book takes you through my first post-divorce relationship, my first hard core crush and then my first few relationships. And now, as a civic duty to single mamas everywhere – I want to give it to you all for free.

All you have to do is fan Ms. Single Mama on Facebook. Just click that button up there.

And winners of Job Jenny’s one hour of career consulting are:

Bella and Hannah F. (You’ve both been emailed. Congratulations!).

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I don’t want a naked Cowboy.

by mssinglemama on March 20, 2012

When we left for Texas Benjamin had a specific request – a cowboy doll and an Indian doll.

He described the dolls he had never really seen in great detail. They would be about 10 inches tall and they could move and shoot things. I put two and two together and realized later that he’d been inspired by the movie, the Indian and the Cupboard. Regardless, it seemed easy enough. Cowboy and Indian dolls had to exist.

Turns out, as Seth and I discovered after scouring every toy store in Austin, they don’t. In fact, even Amazon.com and the great wide Internets don’t have cowboy and Indian dolls. Fortunately, we found a doll store in San Antonio. The store owner quickly led us to Davy Crockett. Without any other option, we snapped him up thinking – “He was truly a cowboy and an Indian.” When I called Benjamin to tell him we’d scored a doll he asked, “Does he have a gun?”

“Yes.”

“Does it work?”

“No.”

“Ughhhh… why not?”

“Because he’s a toy, Benjamin.”

“Okay. Well, does he have clothes?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Because I don’t want a naked cowboy.”

Oh, he definitely has clothes. A coonskin cap, a tobacco pouch and gun powder thingy. I was skeptical at first. Would Benjamin go for an old doll from 1955? The doll is a character doll by Disney from the original Davy Crockett movie. And they just don’t make them like this anymore:

I thought Benjamin would think he was freaky, but he loves him to death and has completely embraced his awesomeness.

This is a pond, and forest for Davy to play in. There is an Indian campground to the right you can’t quite see.

Hurray for Davy Crockett and old toys that actually move. His hands bend, his legs and he sticks out like a sore thumb in Benjamin’s toy pile. But, as Seth discovered Davy was also made in China, all the way back in 1955, Disney was outsourcing jobs overseas. Crazy, right?

P.S.

Thought I would share a dreamy single dad with you (on a motorcyle). Eh-hem.