As a single parent, one of the things we fear the most are questions from the children. Now, later, then, when…
It’s the chord that hits all of us the deepest and our haters use them against us with bottomless and threats that come from inexperience and lack of understanding. The worst one being, “you are going to totally mess up your kid!”
Fears of future questions by the children, such as “Mommy, why did you leave Daddy?” are also a huge driving force keeping many of us in unhappy marriages. Which, in my opinion, are worse for children than being in single parent households with one happy, fully functioning single parent.
In my house, the questions have come and many more will, I’m sure.
The other day Benjamin asked,”Mommy, did you and Daddy used to be married?” [click to continue…]
So, when he’s not working or chasing his kids around, Mr. Mister (or Seth, as you’ll find out in this video) is a singer/songwriter.
He wrote this song during his separation. And I think, all of us single parents – moms and dads – can relate. I had to share and took this video during one of his singer/songwriter circles a few weeks ago.
Video appearances by:
Seth, Mr. Dude Yet to Be Named Man. Or, just Seth.
Wenderly’s handsome husband (on the left at the beginning). If you haven’t read her blog yet, you should! She can cook me under the table.
Seth’s two awesome brothers and their father.
Listen to the studio version of this song and hear the rest of Seth’s music here.
P.S.
And I know I’m on a blogging rampage today. I have actually had a few free moments, a taste of Spring air and some awesome coffee. Also, lots of inspiration.
NOTE: I just discovered Pinterest and will be adding to these as I go. But we can file away everything we find that inspires us, motivates us or pushes our fashion senses. Just click on the links to follow my boards or follow me to find everything I pin.
Single Mom Blogs Board I have a running list of single mom blogs on this board, the best of the best and those who are still writing. So many of the single mom bloggers I used to know are off and married now. Funny how that works, isn’t it?
Single Mom Inspiration Board I will put everything here that inspires me in hopes that it will inspire you or lift your spirits.
Sexy Mama Fashion Board Fashion is so important to single moms, as many of us are re-inventing or re-discovering ourselves. I, personally, buy one or two staple pieces a season and find everything else in thrift stores. But I love what I find on Pinterest because it inspires how I throw it all together. Lots of layering, accessories and too many shoes.
I have lots of boards, you can find them all and follow whatever. Just wanted to share! Totally addicted already and love the way you can file and organize all of your favorite things.
I know I will get blasted for this one. But, whatever, bring on the hate. This is reality, this is love and this is modern parenthood. We both put our children first and care about them more than anything in the world. What’s the most amazing of all is how much we have all fallen in love with each other.
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One of our hugs leads to a kiss.
When we open our eyes all three are staring up at us. Their heads tilted upwards and smiles spread across their faces. All of them, beaming the purest form of happiness. Collectively they look like a little cheering section for love.
I can’t grab a camera this moment will be over in a second. I just have to take it all in, studying their faces, studying his, little hands cover little mouths as they stifle giggles, “Look, they are kissing! Look!!! Heee heee.” [click to continue…]
Some of you called me crazy, but most of you were cheering me on. I was “crazy” I guess. I left a solid career at a solid advertising agency during a recession to chase a dream of working for myself. Why? Because I was tired of trying to fit their rigid, corporate structure – and all of the bull that comes with it – into my life as a single mother. Try explaining 9-5 to a two year old who needs you more than anything in the world. And try explaining to a typical boss that motherhood is more important than their bottom line.
There was also the memory of my first boss and mentor walking out of our radio newsroom with a pile of boxes in his hands after he had been fired (for no good reason at all).
“Remember,” he said, “this is what they do to you after 16 years.” Watching him being forced to leave something he loved because he didn’t follow their rules was the most valuable lesson he every taught me.
There was also writing on the wall at my ad agency. They were trying to “accommodate” all of this “digital stuff.” Clearly they were missing the boat entirely and I was on their boat. It was the perfect time for me to break out on my own and seize an opportunity to offer my own clients what they clearly could not. Cement Marketing is the result. I work just as hard, but on my own schedule.
Even though I had a) motivation and b) a goal and a plan – it was still the most frightening thing I’d ever done (next to leaving my ex husband with a four month old). Funny how “leaving” things or “quitting” things that aren’t good for you can feel so right, isn’t it?
So many of you have asked me over the years to write about starting your own business as a single mom. I didn’t even know where to start… it would require another blog entirely. So, I turned to Jennifer Foss, aka Job Jenny. We met when we were both new single mom bloggers. Today, her website is bursting with resources and she’ll even help you re-design your resume and advise you on what career path you should choose.
I asked her to write about finding a new job in the new year… [click to continue…]
The Mr. and I were talking today about blending families. From our initial digging on Amazon, it doesn’t look like there are very many books on the subject for modern single parents.
Any others out there becoming step-parents or blending families with young children? Tips or advice? Or what questions do you have about it all? Let’s start the discussion here… and see where it takes us. I’m thinking another Website entirely could be in order. Maybe with both his and my perspectives?
Our first date after our coffee date. So, in my mind, this is our first real date. I am wearing my favorite gray Calvin Klein dress. It’s just short enough, but not too short and hits mid thigh. To keep off the Fall chill I’m wearing my light brown suede jacket and–because I can–my pre-Benjamin stiletto booties.
I am proud of myself for picking out an outfit so quickly, considering how daunting it had been to get dressed before the coffee date.
He texts me that he is parked around the corner, behind the bushes, where I know Benjamin can’t spot him. I kiss Benjamin good-bye, wish the sitter good luck and dash out the door. Per the sound and logical advice of my girlfriends, we have waited four days to see each other again. But, it has felt like weeks. Typically four days would be nothing for me, a splash in the water, nothing. But on each night we’ve spend hours on the phone talking and each night, I’ve woken up at 3:00 or 4:00 AM wide awake with anticipation. [click to continue…]
I sent three of these out to over 150 of you and not one as returned.
I’m so sad about that, but I understand knowing that we are all busy and it seemed like a far fetch that we could pull it off. Or maybe they were lost in the mail…
Either way, I am still in love with the idea of gathering all of your declarations of your principles, the foundations you hold dear as a single mother – and then making them public. Sharing your story for others. What drives you? What guides you? The manifesto is all about you and what you believe.
The definition of Manifesto from Wikipedia – a manifesto is a public declaration of principles and intentions, often political in nature. Manifestos relating to religious belief are generally referred to as creeds. Manifestos may also be life stance-related.
I wrote mine in the books and sent it off. I had photos and everything. If you want to contribute your manifesto… write yours, scan it digitally (you can use the Pro Scanner app on your smart phone) and then upload it to my Facebook page as a photo – if you prefer to be more anonymous – email yours to mssinglemama@gmail.com with the subject line MANIFESTO. Everyone who submits one will then receive a password for a FREE Ms. Single Mama Uncensored eBook!
Sound good? Leave comments with questions if you have any. And Merry Christmas!!! Love you my Mamas.
The auditorium is full. We have all been called here for a special event, an hour assembly featuring a guest speaker.
A woman walked onto the stage with a man. The two were here to tell us about sex, or I should say – to tell us why we shouldn’t have sex. After the man showed us a photo of an aborted fetus the woman took another tact. She wanted to talk about what sex does to your heart.
“Let me tell you about a girl named Sally,” she said. “This here in my hands,” she holds up a giant red heart cut out of construction paper, “this is Sally’s heart. And one day Sally decides to have sex with Dave and then a piece of her heart is ripped and broken.”
She rips off a piece of the heart.
She keeps going through Sally’s sexual history until there is nothing left except for a tiny scrap of paper in her hands.
“And after all of them, this is all Sally had left. Because every time you have sex with someone, they take a piece of your heart and you will never have it back.” [click to continue…]
